by Kwan, Coleen
Because, if she had to be honest with herself, a part of her wished their one night could be repeated. Not only that, she wished their night together could have been the start of something more, something richer and deeper and more wonderful than she could imagine.
One night with Giles had not nearly been enough.
But she couldn’t have any more of Giles. Not when he was here at FrogLeap. Not when, according to her manager, there was every chance he’d be offered a permanent role. Not when her chances of promotion depended on maintaining a squeaky clean office reputation.
Besides, judging by Giles’s demeanour, he didn’t want more from her. He might have enjoyed their night, but that was where his interest in her ended. Maybe she’d just been a challenge to his male virility, and once he’d conquered her, he was satisfied. He’d scratched that itch, and now he was comfortable.
More fool her.
She stared blindly at her monitor, desperately wishing she could go home and bury her head beneath her pillows.
***
At six o’clock Giles powered off his laptop and slipped it into his satchel. Since Anna’s project was now officially in user acceptance testing, he was no longer needed, and come Monday he’d be working on something else.
“Let me know if there are any problems,” he said to Anna.
“I’m sure there won’t be,” she replied, her voice just a little tight. Her lips stretched into a bright smile. “Besides, you’ll be too busy with Charles’ problems.”
Giles sighed inwardly. All week he’d been on hyper-alert, waiting for a sign or slightest hint from Anna that she might be thinking about their night together. When he’d woken up alone in his bed, the stinging disappointment had surprised him, and the feeling hadn’t subsided as the days wore on. It had confirmed to him that he was hoping for something more from Anna, but it appeared that hope was one-sided. For Anna, the one night was all she wanted. She’d satisfied her burning curiosity, and she wasn’t willing to jeopardise her career by getting into a messy affair with him.
Fair enough. He couldn’t get annoyed with her for sticking to their agreement. It was him who wanted to renege.
“Thank you, Giles,” Anna said, her arms folded. “For all your expertise.”
The formality of her tone pricked him. “Hey, and what about the biscotti I got you?” He grinned, trying to lighten the mood, to forge a connection with her.
She gave him a faint smile. “And those, too.” She tipped her head towards her desk, indicating a desire to return to her computer. “Uh, you’ll have to excuse me. Lionel’s hounding me for some budget reports.”
“Sure.” He wasn’t looking forward to next week, where he’d be working on a different floor. He wouldn’t be able to surreptitiously feast his eyes on Anna when she came into work each day. Wouldn’t be able to sit near her or inhale her perfume or talk to her, even if it was only to discuss bugs. His heart sank a little lower, but he couldn’t pester her for attention, and she clearly wanted him to leave so she could return to her reports.
“Call me if you need anything,” he said.
She nodded wordlessly. It was time to leave. He forced himself to hitch his satchel over his shoulder and walk away.
Deep down, he knew she wouldn’t call him. Because she didn’t need him for anything anymore.
***
Two weeks later, Anna was called to Lionel’s office. She took the seat opposite her manager’s desk and pleated her fingers together. The project had passed user acceptance testing with flying colours, so she knew she hadn’t been summoned here for a dressing down.
Lionel smiled at her as he pushed the keyboard away from him. “So, I thought it was time for a catch up now that you’ve got some spare time.”
Anna pressed her lips together. “Spare time? I’ve barely caught up with all the reports everyone seems to want so urgently.” The one drawback about being project manager was the deluge of paperwork that needed to be completed each week. “And by the way,” she felt compelled to add, “the client code will be shipped next week, right on schedule.”
“Good to know,” Lionel said. “Although you should have told me sooner about the problems Oscar left. That could have seriously affected things.” He gave her a small frown.
Anna had finally told her boss about the bugs Oscar had covered up, and he hadn’t been too pleased. Clearly Oscar wouldn’t be getting any references from FrogLeap. She shrugged at Lionel’s concerns. “I appraised the situation and made a judgement call. I would have alerted you if it seemed completely disastrous, but I thought we could still make the deadline.”
“And you did, so your judgement was sound.” Lionel nodded.
That was about all the praise she’d come to expect from him. Lionel thought highly of her, but he tended to take her for granted, and she wasn’t as good at blowing her own horn as some of the other guys in the office.
“And I suppose you did have an enormous advantage,” Lionel added. “You had Giles St Clair.”
She gripped her fingers tighter in an effort to stop herself from overreacting. What did Lionel mean? Was he implying that Giles had done most of the work to ensure they’d meet the deadline? Anger rose in her, souring the back of her throat. Maybe Giles had been big-noting himself behind her back. She didn’t want to believe he’d stoop so low, but it had happened to her before, other people stealing the credit. The bile burned.
“What do you mean?” she asked stiltedly.
Lionel shrugged. “Oh, I mean he’s an asset in any project, plus he doesn’t mind getting his hands dirty with a bit of coding. A lot of these high-paid consultants would’ve turned their noses up at helping you out, but not Giles. No, he’s had only good things to say about you.”
Her shoulders sagged with relief. Of course Giles wouldn’t have tried to backstab her. And besides, if he wanted to, he could easily achieve that by gossiping about their night together.
“That’s good to know,” she said thinly. “He was a great help to me. I couldn’t have done it without him.”
Giles was working on another project on different floor of the building. The past two weeks had been slow torture for Anna as she hoped and feared a chance encounter with him. She’d bought new clothes—snappy skirts and tailored blouses and high heels—telling herself she deserved them, but deep down knowing she was only doing this on the off chance she’d bump into Giles. That had happened precisely three times, and all three times he or she had been with others so they had barely exchanged polite greetings. It angered her to realise she was so infatuated with him, but there seemed no cure for it except waiting for the fever to run its course.
“Well, you might get another chance in the future to work with him,” Lionel said. “Nothing’s official yet, but we want him here at FrogLeap permanently. We’re prepared to accommodate whatever role he sees fit to take here.” He leaned forward, tapping the side of his nose. “Of course everything I’m telling you is confidential, but come Monday we should be able to make the big announcement. Marcus is going to make Giles the offer this afternoon.”
Anna’s fingers cramped in her lap. She supposed she should be flattered that her manager had taken her into his confidence, but all she could concentrate on was Giles. She was happy for him. He was uniquely talented and deserved to cherrypick the best role for himself. But how was she going to survive with Giles in the office every day? How could she act naturally around him? What would she do when she saw him with another woman? And there was bound to be another woman because Giles was no monk.
“Anna, are you all right?” Lionel’s concerned voice filtered through her pounding thoughts.
“Actually, I’m not feeling a hundred percent,” she confessed, rubbing her temple.
“You should go home.” Lionel rose from his seat and came around the desk to help her to her feet. “You’ve clocked up a lot of hours this past month. Why don’t you take a few days’ leave next week to recharge?”
Anna glanced at her
manager in surprise. She hadn’t expected him to be so solicitous. “Oh, I should be right by Monday.”
“No, I insist you have at least two days off.” He smiled wryly. “You don’t need to look so suspicious. As your manager, I’m only concerned about your health and well-being. I want you fresh and fit for your next project.”
“Okay.” She nodded. It might be good to have a couple of days off so she could collect herself and not act a fool the next time she saw Giles.
Lionel patted her on the shoulder as he saw her out of his office. “Take a taxi home, and be sure to charge it to the company,” he called after her.
Why was her usually tough manager being so nice to her? She couldn’t understand his motives, unless he was feeling guilty about some bad news he hadn’t had the heart to dump on her right now.
The invisible weight that had hung over her for weeks intensified, and she was glad to be going home early. She gathered her things and quietly left the office.
Back home, she prowled her apartment, too restless to settle at anything. She envisaged Giles sitting with Marcus, the CEO of FrogLeap, and all the hand-shaking and back-slapping that would follow once Giles accepted the permanent position. Then, they would probably go out for drinks and maybe dinner at a fancy restaurant while they nutted out what Giles’s new role would be.
Anna sighed. She was happy for Giles, and besides, there had never been any future for the two of them. So why was she feeling so wistful and letdown and goddamn sorry for herself? She hated this weakness and indecision.
Stung into activity, she changed into shorts and a tank top, piled her hair up into a casual bun, and attacked her neglected housecleaning. Several hours later, her home looked like something out of House & Garden, her muscles were aching, and she was a sweaty mess.
She was about to tromp off to the shower when someone knocked on her front door. She was too tired to bother fixing her appearance, so she went to the door, intending to be quite sharp if it was some doorknocker wanting her to sign up with a new energy company.
Instead, Giles stood on her doorstep, looking immaculately smart-casual in narrow tan pants and a crisp blue shirt unbuttoned at the throat and neatly rolled at the sleeves. In his hands was a bunch of bright yellow and orange flowers. Eyes as vivid as a winter sky gazed down at her, taking in her dishevelled appearance.
Breathe, Anna ordered herself. And chin up.
Just because Giles was standing on her doorstep didn’t mean she could jump to any conclusions. She wasn’t going to risk making a fool of herself, not when she already felt so idiotic inside.
“Hello,” she said coolly, and part of her admired the placidness in her voice.
“Hello.” His eyes narrowed on her flushed face. “Are you ill? You look a bit...feverish.”
She stifled the urge to smooth down her tangled hair. “I’m not ill. I’m cleaning the house.”
“Oh.” For a moment he looked nonplussed. “Uh, mind if I come in?”
The slight hesitation in his voice caused her heart to stop for a second. Could Giles be nervous about visiting her? Not knowing what to think, she mutely ushered him inside and led the way into her open plan living-room-slash-kitchen.
“Would you like to sit down?” She was proud of herself for managing to sound so normal when inside she was seething with questions.
Giles glanced about him, seemingly undecided, before he held out the bunch of flowers towards her. “I bought these for you.”
“Oh.” The bouquet of yellow ranunculus, lemon roses and orange orchids was stunning. Taking the flowers, she held them to her nose in an effort to hide her surprise and pleasure. “Thank you for... oh, a-tishoo!” She sneezed as a pinch of pollen tickled her nostrils.
“Oh God. Don’t tell me you’re allergic to flowers?” Giles shifted towards her, looking anxious and disconcerted.
“No, I just inhaled something.” Flustered, she hurried to the sink where she quickly filled a vase with water and stuck the bunch of flowers in it. She tore off a square of kitchen paper towel and surreptitiously blew her nose. Heavens, what a complete wreck she must look by now, what with her dirty clothes, sloppy hair, and pink nose.
When she turned back to Giles, he was standing by the counter that separated her compact kitchen from the rest of the room. His fingers drummed on the counter, and his expression was wary.
Despite everything, she couldn’t help drinking in the sight of him. This was the first time in weeks she’d seen him for more than a brief moment. He looked as good as ever, striking, handsome, confident. The rays of the setting sun slanting through the windows cast a golden glow over his chestnut hair and freshly shaven face. He took her breath away.
“Congratulations,” she blurted out, desperate to break the spell he had over her.
His eyebrows rose. “Congratulations?”
“On the permanent job. I heard about it this afternoon.”
“Oh.” He looked perplexed.
“You deserve it,” she pressed on. “And, of course, everyone at FrogLeap will be glad to have you.”
Giles glanced down at his fingers that were still tapping on the counter. “Actually,” he said quietly, “I won’t be working at FrogLeap after my contract ends next week.”
“What?” Anna was flummoxed. “But...I don’t understand. Is it the money? Didn’t Marcus make you a good enough offer?”
“No, Marcus offered me more than I expected, but it wasn’t the money.”
“Then, what?” A horrible thought dawned on her. “It...it isn’t something to do with me, is it?”
He tilted his head. “Yes, it’s you.”
“But I haven’t said a word about what happened,” she burst out in confusion. “And I treat you the same as I always do. I don’t understand—”
“Anna,” he broke in, his voice suddenly intense and urgent. “That’s precisely why I can’t stay at FrogLeap. I can’t stand it that you treat me as if nothing ever happened between us. I can’t bear the thought that after such an incredible night together you can sweep it all under the carpet and carry on as before.”
Stunned, she gaped at him. “But that’s what we agreed,” she said faintly.
“I know, but I can’t do it. It’s killing me, Anna.”
“Killing you?” She frowned. “I hardly think so. You haven’t done or said anything out of the ordinary as far as I can tell.”
“That’s because I’m a good actor. But I can’t act forever.” He paused to rifle his fingers through his hair, and for a moment he seemed tired and tense. “I can’t hide my feelings forever.”
“Feelings?” A wild emotion gripped her heart, something that felt like a mixture of hope and fear.
Giles closed the gap between them and clasped her shoulders. The feel of his hands against her bare skin sent waves of desire crashing through her.
“Anna, I came here to ask you if you’d like to have dinner with me tonight.”
“Dinner.” She could only echo him, amazed at what she thought he was really asking her.
“Yes, dinner.” A faint smile eased some of the tension from his face. “I want to take you on a proper date. Lots of proper dates where everyone can see us and see how crazy I am for you.”
She started to shake as confirmation of what she’d secretly yearned for began to trickle into her brain. “Oh, Giles,” she murmured. “I would love to go on lots of proper dates with you.”
Relief spread across his face. “Thank you.” Leaning forward, he placed a chaste kiss on the tip of her nose. “You’re gorgeous.”
“I’m sweaty and smelly and a total mess.”
“Like I said, gorgeous.” His gaze swept over her. “I almost had a heart attack when you opened the door wearing so little. That tank top moulds to every inch of you, darling, and those shorts are enough to give me a heart attack.”
She laughed breathlessly. “I was cleaning the house.”
“Excuse me, but if you tried cleaning around me in that getup, you�
�d never get anything done.”
He wrapped his arms around her and dipped his head to press a tender kiss on her mouth. She melted into him, giddy with disbelief at the sudden turn of events, and kissed him back with all the fervour she’d been forced to suppress these past weeks. The kiss was threatening to get out of control when her mobile phone started to ring. She was tempted to let it go to voicemail until Giles reluctantly loosened his hold on her.
“You’d better get that,” he sighed.
“Always the professional,” she teased him as she reached for her phone.
“Anna,” Lionel’s voice boomed in her ear. “Hope I’m not interrupting anything?”
“Um, no.” She took a couple of steps away from Giles in order to regain her composure. “What can I do for you, Lionel?”
“I realised I forgot to tell you something important at our meeting. Do you have a current passport?”
“Yes, but why?”
“We want you to represent FrogLeap at the tech con in San Francisco next month.”
For a few seconds Anna was speechless. Only experienced managers went to the con, and as a newly promoted project manager she’d never thought she’d be chosen this year, but today was turning out to be full of surprises. After a moment, she sputtered out her thanks.
“You deserve it,” Lionel assured her. “We’re all expecting big things from you, Anna.”
She repeated her thanks before she ended the call and spun back to Giles with an enormous grin.
“I’m going to the tech con in San Francisco!”
His face lit up. “Darling, that’s wonderful.”
She flung herself in his arms and kissed him passionately. After a few blissful moments, she drew back to look at him.
“But what about you? Are you sure you can’t stay at FrogLeap?”
Giles shook his head. “No. We both know that’s not an option. I want you, Anna.” His eyes grew sober again. “I suspect if you knew exactly how much I want you, it might make you a little nervous.”