by M. Leighton
And Reese.
For a while.
Out of habit, I drive around the property and park at my old house, one that now sits empty since Malcolm hired a company to care for the grounds. I walk the old, familiar trail through the woods, the one that bursts into the lush grass surrounding Bellano, right behind the garage at the kitchen door.
I rap my knuckles on the screen and wait for a response. Tanny is an early riser, but even if she weren’t, eleven is plenty late for an impromptu visit.
Within a minute, I hear the click of a lock and the wooden door swings open, revealing Tanny’s smiling face behind the screen between us.
“I was wondering when I’d see you,” she says with a smile, flipping the latch on the screen so that I can enter.
“What made you think I’d come today?” I ask as I enter the kitchen. It smells just like it always has, like a mixture of something sweet baking, coffee and Malcolm’s pipe tobacco. It’s the most comforting aroma in the world.
“Yesterday was hard for all of us. In all kinds of different ways,” she adds meaningfully, sending me a knowing look over her shoulder as she pours me a cup of coffee.
“Tanny, it was awful! He saw me dancing the other night. That was bad enough, but then to have to see him and talk to him…and for him to ask me to work on his boat…”
She turns around at that. “He asked you to work on his boat?”
“Yes. In exchange for getting me an audition with the Altman troupe. Can you believe that?”
Her smile is slight. “Yes, actually I can.” I don’t ask what she means by that. “Have you decided what you’ll do?”
I sigh and circle my fingers over one throbbing temple. “I think so. I’m not sure it’s the right thing, but I just can’t see me letting an opportunity like this pass me by.”
Tanny nods her head, sipping her coffee and holding her tongue.
“I mean, I got over Reese a long time ago. And this is work. Not to mention that it could mean a totally different future for me.”
“That, it could,” she agrees.
“Right?” I ask, looking for her validation and her encouragement, and maybe someone to tell me I’m doing the right thing.
“Will you be able to live with the regret of not taking this chance?”
“I learned a long time ago that I can live with a lot of regret and still survive, Tanny. But the thing is, do I need to? Can this really be as amazing as it seems? Or is it too good to be true?”
“What, exactly, are you worried about, Kennedy?” Tanny asks, setting her mug down and taking my free hand in both of hers.
“Oh, Tanny. I’m worried about me. I buried that poor girl who we all knew a long, long time ago, but…”
“But what? If you buried her, then there’s nothing to worry about, is there?”
“I wouldn’t think so if I just didn’t feel so…so…”
“So what?”
“So drawn to him. God, it’s like no amount of hate can kill what he does to me. What he’s always done to me. But I know I can’t trust him. He is a man, after all. Even if he makes me feel like no man ever has.”
A look of sadness comes across Tanny’s face. “Despite everything you’ve been through, despite all the reasons you have for feeling the way that you do, you can’t go through life thinking you’ll never find a man you can trust.”
“It wouldn’t be the end of the world.” I try to keep my expression as unaffected as possible. But, like always, Tanny sees right through it.
She reaches over to squeeze my fingers. “But it’s in all of us to want to find someone to share our lives with, to find someone to trust and love. Maybe you more than most.”
“The girl in me used to think so, but now…”
“Maybe this will be good for you, Kennedy. Maybe you need to get some closure. For that girl you buried. And for the woman who took her place. You didn’t become your strong self by hiding from adversity. You got this way by facing it. By overcoming. Don’t let the past color your future. You’re too smart to let that happen.”
All my waffling seems silly now. “You’re so right, Tanny.” Impulsively, I lean over and hug her slight frame to mine. “He’s just a man. One man who I used to know. He has no control over me unless I give it to him. I have nothing to fear. He’s simply bringing me one step closer to my dream. That’s all.”
“One step closer to your dream,” Tanny repeats, patting my cheek reassuringly. The funny thing is, I get the feeling that she’s speaking about much more than just my dancing.
CHAPTER NINE- Reese
I head to Bellano a few minutes before the reading of the will. As I’m pulling into my old spot beside the garage, I see the flash of a familiar chestnut head ducking into the woods to my right.
Kennedy. She’s been on my mind so much for the last thirty-six hours; I’d recognize that head anywhere now.
I’m curious as to why she was here, but I’m also ten times more distracted than I was to begin with. Knowing she’s in the forest right now…so near the place where I took her virginity all those years ago…all alone in the privacy of the trees… God, it makes me throb—the desire to taste how time has matured and sweetened that delectable body of hers.
Damn.
With a muffled growl, I get out of the car and head around to the kitchen entrance. I glance up at the window as I approach the steps. Force of habit. But this time Tanny is standing there, like she used to be, smiling at me as I ascend the stairs.
If I had to guess, I’d say she’s still in the kitchen after having talked to Kennedy.
“Good morning, handsome boy.” Tanny greets me with a smile, a kiss to the cheek and a cup of coffee as I walk through the door.
“Good morning,” I reply, returning her gesture. The smell of garden flowers drifts up to tickle my nose and remind me of all the happy childhood memories I have with Tanny. When I lean back to look down at her, her blue eyes are shining brightly. Happily. She looks more like herself—younger, attractive, loving. Maybe the worst of Malcolm’s death has passed. “You’re looking well.”
She smiles, glancing down at her crisp white blouse and navy blue slacks, and brushing away an imaginary piece of lint. “Why, thank you. I’ve been called in for the reading of the will as well, and I…I…”
I curl my fingers around her thin upper arms. “It’ll be fine, Tanny. I promise.” Her smile is only a little sad today.
“I know it will, my sweet. One way or the other.”
I take a sip of my coffee. “So, have you had company this morning?”
“As a matter of fact I have,” she confirms. “And now I get some more. My two favorite people, two days in a row. I couldn’t be happier.”
“Yes, I thought I saw Kennedy leaving. What did she want?”
Tanny laughs. “She was just visiting. Is that allowed, Mr. Nosey?”
I smile, wanting to press her for information, but knowing I’d better not. Tanny is the type of person that needs a soft approach. To be such a sweet and loving woman, she can be quite stubborn when she decides she doesn’t want to do something. Despite her appearance, she’s a tough woman, so I can’t come at her straight on. “I’m sorry. Of course it is. I haven’t kept up with Kennedy much in the last several years, so I was just curious. That’s all.”
“She’s been doing just fine. Couldn’t be prouder of the young woman she’s become. She went through pure hell, but she didn’t let it break her. She’s made of stronger stuff than what it looks like.”
“Pure hell? What’s that all about?” That piques my curiosity even more.
Tanny begins to shake her head. “Those aren’t my stories to tell. If you really want to know, you’ll have to ask her yourself. Even then, I’m not sure she’d want you to know. That’s for her to decide.”
Now I really want to press her, but I know it won’t do me any good. Tanny has a fierce sense of loyalty. Normally, that extends to me, but it also extends to Kennedy. I know this from years gon
e by. So, between the two of us, she’ll betray neither one.
Damn.
“Well, I’m sure I’ll find a chance. She’ll be working for me on one of my cruises.”
“She will, will she?” Tanny asks with a sly grin.
I falter for a split second. “Yes. Or did she tell you something different?”
Tanny’s grin melts into a kind smile. “No, she didn’t tell me any different. I just don’t think you should make too many assumptions or take too many things for granted with her. She’s not the same girl you knew all those years ago, Harrison.”
“She’s an adult, Tanny. I’m sure she is perfectly capable of making decisions for herself. And dealing with the consequences.”
“Maybe she’s not the one I’m worried about.”
********
I glance at my watch again. Along with Tanny, myself and my father, there are various other attorneys and representatives present. We are all waiting, albeit impatiently, for Malcolm’s lawyer to arrive. He’s nearly twenty minutes late already. At this rate, I’ll be leaving before he even gets here.
Across the table, I see my father glance at his watch within seconds of me glancing at mine. I resist the urge to curl my lip at our likeness. I don’t want to be anything like him. But I am. I know I am. To some degree, it was inevitable. I learned from him. From watching him, listening to him, being around him. It’s times like this when I see the similarities and I abhor every single one of them. I just haven’t yet found a good enough reason to change things. After all, Henslow Spencer is very successful. And, at this point, that’s my biggest motivator—having more, achieving more, being more. Just…more.
With a muffled thump, the door behind me opens. I don’t turn to see who entered. I just know it had better be the lawyer or I’m outta here.
A robust man wearing a wool jacket with leather on the elbows makes his way to the only empty chair at the round mahogany table. He sets his briefcase atop it, making eye contact with each of us and nodding a silent greeting. After he’s retrieved a thick manila folder from inside his case, he snaps shut the locks and sets it on the floor, clearing his throat before he begins.
“Sorry for the delay, gentlemen. There were some…last-minute details that needed my attention, but now I’m ready to execute this, the last will and testament of Malcolm Henry Spencer.”
No one speaks as he opens the folder and rifles through papers, pulling out one document with a light blue backing.
As he begins formally reading the will, I suppress the urge to sigh in bored frustration. It’s not that I’m not grateful for whatever my uncle Malcolm left me. I was closer to him than practically anybody for the first half of my life. It’s just that I have other things—and other people—on my mind, making it hard for me to sit patiently through something like this when I’d much rather be sitting across from Kennedy. Watching her. Studying her. Formulating a plan for getting her back in my bed with the greatest speed.
Mr. Bingham gets my full attention with the mention of my name.
“In deference to Mr. Harrison Spencer’s departure schedule, I’ll begin with the family estate known to all as Bellano. Per Malcolm’s wishes, ‘The estate will be left, in equal parts ownership, to my nephew, Harrison Ronaldo Spencer, or his closest living relative, and Mary Elizabeth Spencer or her closest living relative. All decisions regarding the grounds, the estate holdings and the upkeep will be made jointly, with the exception of the presence of Mrs. Judith E. Tannenbaum, whom I hereby grant a life estate at Bellano’.”
When Bingham pauses to continue, hushed whispers break out around the table. I’m as surprised as everyone else to hear that Malcolm left Bellano to me, but, also like everyone else, I’m very surprised to hear of a female Spencer relative being named as well. Since its existence, Bellano has never been left to a woman, much less one who no one has ever heard of.
It’s my father who finally asks the question on everyone’s mind. “Who, exactly, is Mary Elizabeth Spencer?”
Mr. Bingham glances nervously around the table. “Malcolm had this codicil drawn up just weeks prior to his death. I was out of town, so my partner did the work for him. Unfortunately, being unfamiliar with the family, he didn’t get any more information on Ms. Spencer, so I’m still in the process of locating her.”
“Well, you’d better make quick work of it, Bingham, because if you can’t produce this supposed heir, a woman with whom none of us are familiar, you can bet your ass I’ll be contesting this will. Bellano is the Spencer family home, and it will stay with the real Spencers if I have to take it to the Supreme Court to see that it does.”
I catch movement from the corner of my eye and glance over to see Tanny drop her head and close her eyes. I’m sure she’s thinking it’s a shame that grown men have to act like this only days after the death of a loved one. And over possessions, no less. It makes me feel ashamed for being so much like my father.
“Mr. Spencer, I assure you—”
“I don’t trust that you can assure me of anything, Mr. Bingham,” my father snaps.
I look at Tanny’s pale face again and it spurs me into action.
“Mr. Bingham, will that be all the need you have of me or Mrs. Tannenbaum? If so, I think we’d both like to get on with our plans for the day.” The least I can do is spare Tanny any more of this unpleasantness. “Please forward copies of the will to my attorney. You have his information already, I believe.”
When I glance back at Tanny, she’s watching me with watery, grateful eyes. I smile at her and she gives me a subtle, regal nod of acknowledgment.
“Yes, I do. And yes, this is the only part that pertains to either of you. It’s my understanding that Malcolm has already given to Mrs. Tannenbaum any of his possessions that he wanted her to have. Is that accurate, Mrs. Tannenbaum?”
“Yes, it is,” comes her quiet reply.
No one in the room argues. Whatever Malcolm saw fit to give Tanny is still probably less than she deserves for staying with him all these years. Even my cold, hard father knows that.
“In that case, I think we’ll be on our way.” I stand and walk to Tanny’s chair, pulling it back as she comes to her feet. “Gentleman.” I give the room a glancing nod and then I escort Tanny out the door.
Once we’ve left the study and all the tension there behind us, I turn to Tanny. “Do you know who this Mary Elizabeth is? Did Malcolm ever mention her?”
Tanny raises her face to mine and I notice how ashen she is. “Harrison, would you mind if I went to lie down? I believe I might have a migraine coming on. Just the stress of the last few days…”
She lays a shaking hand on my arm and starts to walk off, even before I can reply. Bending, I sweep her into my arms. “I’ll carry you,” I tell her simply, walking the short distance down the hall to her room at the back of the house, nearest Malcolm’s.
It looks just like it did when I was last here all those years ago. Antique furnishings covered in faded rose-and-cream colored fabrics, a fresh flower arrangement sitting on the dresser and a book lying on the night table right beside her reading glasses. Everything in this room is elegant, womanly and one hundred percent Tanny.
Gently, I deposit her on the bed and then move to the windows behind it, drawing the blinds shut. Before I leave, I bend to kiss Tanny’s cool cheek.
“Rest. You have my number if you need anything. I’ll come and stay for a few weeks when I get back into the country. But if something happens and you need me before then, call. Okay?”
She nods.
“Promise me.”
Her smile is small. “I promise.”
“I’ll get all this straightened out. Don’t worry over it.”
Her smile deepens. “I won’t worry. You go on. Have a good time with Kennedy.”
“So she is coming?” I feel relieved. Tanny was a bit vague earlier.
“Yes, I believe she’s coming.”
“I’ll take good care of her, Tanny.”
She
reaches up to pinch my chin. “You’d better, young man.”
I laugh. “God forbid I suffer the wrath of Tanny.”
“Just so long as you know,” she says with a grin before she waves me out the door. “Now, you go on. Have a safe trip. And have fun.”
I don’t tell her how much fun I plan to have. I only smile as I pull the door shut behind me.
CHAPTER TEN- Kennedy
I shouldn’t have waited until the last minute to pack. I guess I was hoping for a sign that I’m doing the right thing. But I didn’t get one, so I’ve been left to muddle through the decision-making process the best that I can. In the end, I go with my gut. All my other gauges lie in direct contradiction to one another. My head says I’m strong and I can do this. My heart says I’m crazy to risk being around Reese again. Those two still haven’t reached an agreement, so that’s why I had to consult another faculty—my gut. And it says that I can do this, that I need to go for the dream. This could be my only chance to chase it with any hope of catching it.
But my gut can’t tell me what to pack. I mean, Reese has told me virtually nothing about this cruise. I throw a variety of clothes into my suitcase, along with my toiletries and a couple of swimsuits just in case. I stand staring at it for at least five minutes as I rack my brain for other things I might need. Giving up when I can think of nothing but the way it felt to have Reese touch my face again, I decide it might be prudent to just ask. But rather than calling, I take the coward’s way out and I text Reese instead.
Me: What do I need to pack? I don’t know where we’re going or what I’ll need, work-wise.
As I’m waiting for his response, Bozey, my calico-colored Maine Coon cat, weaves a warm figure eight around my legs as if to remind me not to forget about making arrangements for him. I reach down to scoop him up and he drapes bonelessly over my arm.