The secret service agents point their guns at me, Arrow, and Boom Boom.
I hold up my hands. “Whoa, what the hell, man?”
One of the agents presses his gun against my skull. “Shut your trap, punk.”
Igor jumps out of his chair, sending it toppling to the floor. “Madam President, there must be some misunderstand-AHH!”
Another agent whacks Igor across the back of his head.
“Mikhail, you’re not going to let them do this, are you?” Boom Boom says pleadingly.
“Not by a longshot,” Rasputin growls. He extends his right arm and neon-blue spirals of electricity unravel from his fingertips. The electricity envelopes the agent next to Boom Boom and sends him flying across the room. He slams against the cobbled wall and collapses to the floor in a smoldering heap.
The other agents point their guns at Mikhail. Igor, Norma, and the others point their guns at the agents, as do Rasputin’s bodyguards. Arrow, Boom Boom and I stand up and unsheathe our electric swords. We might as well prove to Rasputin we have his back.
Rasputin chuckles. He holds up his gloved hands as tendrils of electricity dance along his fingertips.
“Looks like we have ourselves an old-fashioned standoff.”
Klaxton crosses her arms and scowls. She’s not as easily amused as Rasputin.
Rasputin suddenly turns deadly serious. “I know you’re painfully aware how pivotal I am to your plans, Angela. You need me far more than I need you. It’s extremely difficult for us to attract young, competent recruits for our aging movement. If you desire my continued cooperation, you will leave these kids alone.”
Klaxton’s steely face remains entrenched in a scowl.
Rasputin shrugs. “Fair enough.” He grabs Boom Boom and pulls her to his side. “I don’t really care about the boys, but I get to keep the girl. That’s non-negotiable.”
“Hey, that’s not fair!” I blurt out.
Boom Boom rips her arm out of Rasputin’s grasp. “No! Either we all live… or we all die.”
Klaxton’s lips curl into a sadistic sneer. “Don’t tempt me, girlie.”
Mikhail nods approvingly. “I like that you’re willing to sacrifice yourself for your friends. You have great courage. We need more of that around here.”
Mikhail turns his attention back to the glowering president.
“As I stated before, Angela, you are in desperate need of my assistance. The kids live, or our deal is off.”
Klaxton curses and kicks a chair. “Fine. The damn teeny-boppers can stay. But never… and I mean NEVER… have a bunch of outsiders attend one of my meetings ever again. I don’t care if you vouch for them. One loose string can unravel an entire operation.”
Mikhail takes another sip of vodka. “Calm down, Angela. You’re going to raise your blood pressure.”
The secret service agents lower their guns and back away. Rasputin’s goons do the same. Arrow and I sheathe our blades.
Klaxton straightens her pantsuit. “Now that all the excitement is out of the way, let’s proceed with our meeting.”
Klaxton sits down at the head of the table. Her secret service agents stake out different positions around the room, so they can keep an eye on everyone. Rasputin’s guards stand behind him. Igor, Norma, and the rest of the gang sit down at the table. Arrow and I plop down next to them.
Klaxton clasps her hands together. “As you all know, we are here to initiate the final phase of our mission to destroy the Empire of China.”
I know I shouldn’t say anything, but my head is spinning with so many questions that it feels like it’s about to explode. I clear my throat and awkwardly say, “Er, excuse me for interrupting, but… like, how long have you and Rasputin been in cahoots?”
Boom Boom shoots me a look that says ‘stop talking’. I realize that’s good advice when Klaxton grits her teeth.
“We have been partners in our covert war against China for quite some time. Now please refrain from interrupting me ever again, little boy. I’m the goddamn President of the United States, and I hate… I HATE… being interrupted.”
I gulp and say, “Er, sorry Ms. President. It won’t happen again.”
Klaxton has this amazing ability to make me feel small and weak. I think I’d rather take on an army of Nazis than have a conversation with her.
Klaxton starts talking again. “Over the past several years I have been secretly coordinating terror attacks with the Purple Dragons against the Chinese. I was hopeful that the Chinese would launch a surprise attack on American assets like the Japanese did in World War 2, thereby drawing us into a war, but alas, that has yet to occur.”
“Wait, you actually want a war?” Boom Boom blurts out.
“What did I say about interrupting me?” Klaxton growls.
Boom Boom shuts up.
“Like I was saying, the Chinese have proven to be remarkably calm in the face of the Purple Dragons relentless onslaught. I think it’s that damn teenage empress. I know General Kang is eager for a war. It occurred to me several weeks ago that we need something a bit more destructive than a few car bombings to get the Chinese’s attention.”
I’m stunned by what I’m hearing. The president wants a war with China? What sort of madness is this?
“So, uh, what were you thinking about doing?” Arrow asks hesitantly.
“I won’t be doing anything,” Klaxton replies. “You and your friends will be smuggling a small nuclear bomb over the Bering Strait and into the Siberian Wilderness.”
“A nuclear bomb?” Boom Boom cries, nearly falling out of her seat. “Where are we supposed to find a nuclear bomb?”
“We saw materials for making a dirty bomb in that gun shop in Vegas, remember?” I say.
Klaxton flashes a rare grin. “You’re starting to unravel my plan. You kids aren’t as dumb as you look.”
An insult wrapped in a compliment. Nice.
Klaxton snaps her fingers and one of her agents carries over a metallic suitcase.
“This is the bomb I was talking about. It’s called a suitcase nuke, in case you’re too stupid to figure that out. It has enough fissile material to irradiate and kill thousands… maybe tens of thousands if it’s a windy day.”
“Why would you bring that in here?” Boom Boom cries. “We’re all going to get radiation poisoning!”
“Quit being so hysterical, girlie. The nuclear material is encased in a metallic material that prevents the release of any radiation. It will also mask the uranium from Chinese radiation sensors, allowing you to sneak the bomb into Siberia without being detected. You shouldn’t run into any Chinese forces during your flight. We’ll provide you a radar-deflecting flying car. And even though the Chinese like to pretend they rule Russia with an iron fist, that’s all simply propaganda. The reality is most of Russia, including Siberia, is under the control of the Purple Dragons and other dissidents. Anytime China sends forces in after them, they are bogged down in a brutal guerrilla war. Now the Chinese just sort of leave them alone until they leave their isolated sanctuaries.”
“You will meet up with members of the Purple Dragons at an undisclosed location,” Klaxton rattles on. I do my best to keep up, but I’m still struggling to get over my shock that the president is in cahoots with the world’s most wanted man. “Several of their suicide squad members will then attach the nuclear suitcase to the engine of a flying car, creating the biggest car bomb in history.”
“And where are you wanting this bomb to be detonated?” I ask. “At a Chinese military base? A hospital?”
“No. I want to assassinate the Empress.”
Everyone in the room gasps.
“But… how…” Boom Boom starts to say.
“I’m getting to that, girlie,” Klaxton barks. “Keep your panties on. Empress Xing is usually hidden away to keep her safe from assassins. Next Saturday, however, is China’s annual celebration of Xing’s ascension to the throne. It’s one of the few times a year she comes out of hiding. She will be part
of a parade that snakes through the streets of Beijing. She will be surrounded by security, and she’ll most likely be encased in some sort of bullet-proof bubble. But even that won’t protect her from a radar-deflecting nuclear car bomb that drops out of the sky. And even if she somehow survives the blast, she will undoubtedly be grievously wounded. That will put that vicious cyborg freak General Kang in charge. She will have no qualms declaring war against us.”
Practically everyone in the room appears to be reeling from Klaxton’s shocking assassination plan. Boom Boom composes herself enough to say, “With all due respect, Madam President, there are a few holes in your plot.”
Good ole Boom Boom. She’s going to try and use logic to talk Klaxton out of her psychotic plan. I’m not exactly the world’s smartest person and even I see problems with it. For one, why would the Chinese assume we had anything to do with the bombing?
Boom Boom says exactly that. “While it’s apparently true you’ve been working with Rasputin and the Purple Dragons for years now, the Chinese don’t know that. I’m sure they suspect it, but they don’t know for sure. Why would they jump to the conclusion that the U.S. provided the bomb? The Dragons could have just as easily gotten the nuclear material elsewhere.”
“It’s so cute how you’re pretending to be smart,” Klaxton says condescendingly. “First of all, the only places you’d be able to find any nuclear material is here in America, in China, and in Bavaria. During the 21st century, America, China, Russia, and the other nuclear powers at the time locked down all nuclear material. And when China invaded Russia, the first thing they did was take control of Russia’s nuclear facilities. This was after they took out Russia’s defenses with a relentless bombardment of EMP bombs, of course. Otherwise the Ruskies probably would have used their nukes to repel the invasion. We did the same thing with Canada.
“Secondly, the Chinese will realize they got this nuclear material from us because we’re going to tell them so. More specifically, Rasputin will tell them. Shortly after the bombing he will broadcast one of his terror videos over the internet, taking credit for the attack and claiming he got the material from one of our gun stores in Vegas.” Klaxton turns to me. “As you alluded to before, little boy, we do have dirty bomb kits available in a few select shops on the Strip. All of that material is fake, of course. I don’t want to risk some crazy Canadian terrorists getting their hands on something like that. But the Chinese won’t know it’s fake. Rasputin will reveal photos of him shopping at one of the stores, ultimately making America an accomplice in the deadliest terror attack in history. General Kang will have no choice but to declare war. It will prove we’ve, at best, been passive in cracking down on Russian dissidents and, at worst, that we’ve actually encouraged them.”
“This seems like a lot of work just to start a war,” I point out. “If you want to fight the Chinese so bad, why don’t you just attack them first?”
Klaxton chuckles and shakes her head. “Just when I begin to think you kids have some brains, you go and say something as stupid as that. I can’t launch a preemptive strike for two reasons. One, Americans would not rally around me like they would if we were attacked first. I’m going to need the full, patriotic support of the entire country if we are to have any hope of taking it to the Chinese. And two, history would view me as the aggressor in the conflict, and I refuse to have my legacy soiled like that.”
Unbelievable. Klaxton is more concerned about how history will view her than she is about the safety and security of the people she’s supposed to protect.
“I’m sorry, but none of this makes any sense,” Boom Boom says, shaking her head so fiercely that her purple hair whips back and forth. “Why on Earth do you want to start a war? What purpose could it possibly serve except to cause widespread death and destruction?”
“It’s simple economics, dear,” Klaxton replies, sounding almost bored with the question. “A war is the only way we’ll ever be able to end this crippling depression.”
I think everyone in the room says, “Huh?” at the same time, even Klaxton’s secret service agents.
Klaxton sighs. “It’s really not that complicated to comprehend, is it?”
“Sort of,” I say to a chorus of chuckles.
Klaxton purses her lips. “As everyone here is painfully aware, the Horrible Depression has been chugging alone for well over 40 years, ever since that fateful day when Hurricane Omega wiped out New York’s financial district. When I was first elected president I had high hopes I’d be able to turn the economy around. At the time we had been mired in a global depression for two decades. 22 years later I have nothing to show for my efforts. Unemployment still hovers around 80% and crime is more prevalent than ever. During my 22-year rule of the most powerful empire on Earth, I’ve tried everything to turn things around. I spent trillions on stimulus projects. I freed up revenue by outsourcing criminal apprehensions to bounty hunters. I manipulated our currency. I slashed interest rates to zero. I cut taxes to stimulate consumer spending. But nothing has worked. The economy hasn’t budged a single percentage point since I took office. It’s the deepest, widest, most stubborn depression in world history, a depression that’s been going on for nearly half a century. I was beginning to think we’d be stuck in a depression for all of eternity.
“That’s when it hit me. I figured out precisely what medicine our economy requires to get it moving again. All we need is a healthy dose of war. World war to be exact.”
President Klaxton has officially gone bye-bye.
“How exactly did you come to that conclusion?” Boom Boom blurts out. She sounds like she’s on the verge of hysteria.
“You seem like a somewhat intelligent young woman,” Klaxton says. “You’re certainly smarter than the other peons in this room. All you have to do is look back on history to see why this is a flawless plan. The second greatest depression the world has ever known, the so-called Great Depression of the 1930s, was strikingly similar to the one we’re stuck in today. Granted this one is many times worse, but there are similarities. Unemployment was sky-high. President Roosevelt did many of the same things I’ve tried: stimulus, social programs, cutting taxes. While his socialist ploys worked to a certain degree, they did not end the depression. The Great Depression did not officially end until the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor, sucking us into World War 2. It took a world war to end the Great Depression, and it will take nothing less to end this one.”
“How exactly does a war help the economy?” I ask.
Klaxton looks at me like I’m the dumbest creature she’s ever laid eyes upon.
“Don’t they teach you wretched children anything in school?” she snarls. “War is the ultimate stimulus program. If we go to war with China we will see an explosion in job growth. Millions of men will be sent overseas while millions of women go to work in our factories, building guns, bullets, bombs, tanks, planes, armor, and military rations. The unemployment rate will be cut in half within a year, and it could drop as low as 10 percent only a few short years after that. We will finally be able to claw our way out of our economic grave.”
My eyes do kind of glaze over at the thought of a low 10% unemployment rate. The country would change overnight. Poverty and crime would disappear as people finally had money to care for themselves. Maybe a war is the answer.
Boom Boom snaps me out of Klaxton’s brainwashing when she asks, “What happens when China lobs a few nuclear and antimatter missiles our way? You honestly expect China to sit there and allow us to invade their territory?”
Klaxton waves Boom Boom off. “Do you really think I’d consider a war with China if I didn’t have a plan to deal with their weapons of mass destruction? First of all, the same thing that prevented the United States and the Soviet Union from entering a nuclear war is the same thing that will prevent the U.S. and China from having one: the specter of mutual annihilation. Just like the U.S. and the Soviets waged a Cold War during the latter half of the 20th century, so too will the U.S. and China.
We managed to have skirmishes with Soviet-backed forces in Korea and Vietnam, and we helped the Afghans repel a Soviet invasion in the 1980s. We will have similar battles with China. Think of it as the world’s greatest super powers playing a friendly game of chess, with the entire planet as our chessboard. It’s sort of like what occurred in the Orwellian classic 1984, when the empires of Oceania, Eurasia, and Eastasia were engaged in a perpetual state of war to keep their people in line and to stimulate the global economy. So too will I control our economy with a willing sparring partner, General Kang.”
“But you said it yourself, General Kang is insane,” Boom Boom says, struggling to reason with our deranged leader. “What if Kang goes crazy one day and decides to launch China’s entire nuclear and antimatter arsenal? The world would ignite in a nuclear holocaust.”
For the first time I detect a gleam of doubt in Klaxton’s icy cold eyes. But it’s only for the briefest of seconds. An instant later she is back to her cold, intense self.
“If Kang is as foolish as you say, then our missile defense shield will make short work of their attempted bombardment. Our EMP rockets will intercept their warheads over the Pacific and send them hurtling to the depths of the sea.”
“Are you positive our shield will stop all the warheads?” Arrow asks. “Even if one slips through it’ll cause an insane amount of destruction.”
Klaxton once again appears unnerved by the prospect of our nuclear shield not being all it’s cracked up to be. After all, it’s not like you can test it. We won’t know if it works until an actual nuclear war breaks out.
Klaxton finally says, “I have full faith in our rocket scientists and engineers. The shield will protect us, I am sure of it.”
Boom Boom shrugs. “Okay, but it sounds like you’re playing Russian roulette with nuclear bombs.”
“Oh, I love Russian roulette!” Norma exclaims. “It’s my favorite pastime!”
Klaxton glares at Norma until she gulps and looks down.
“You all seem to forget I’ve been in power longer than any president in American history,” Klaxton says haughtily. “I think I know what I’m doing.”
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