Finding Jordie: Things aren't always what they seem. (The Love Lies Bleeding Series Book 1)

by Harley, HJ

  “That’s what I like to see, appreciating a server. Remember that when you’re at my bar.” I teased him.

  I wanted a smoke, but I wasn’t letting his hand go as we leisurely walked back to my place.

  “Hey, your friend—you said his name is Tyler Duncan, right? Isn’t he playing at the bar next Wednesday night?”

  “Nothing gets by you, does it?” He smirked.

  I bumped into him, lightly causing him to step off balance a bit, and we both laughed. Once we approached my building my stomach began its ritual flip-flopping.

  “You work tonight?” He pulled me close to him with one arm and I placed my hands on his chest. Good thing he was holding me because my head was spinning.

  “What are you doing to me?” I breathed, finally meeting his eyes that were already on me with a purpose. He put his other arm around me, locked his hands behind my back, and leaned forward to kiss me. I moved my hands up his chest to his shoulders, wrapping them behind his neck as our lips met. That kiss was the kind that made your knees buckle and insides quiver, the kind of kiss that made you want—no, need more.

  Swoon.

  I pulled back after too short a time, but if it had gone on any longer the expression “get a room” would’ve been appropriate. We stood there, still locked in one another’s hold, chatting quietly. I could hear voices coming up the sidewalk, which wasn’t out of the ordinary, except they were trying to whisper. It was the two women from the pizzeria, and they were about to walk past my building. Nathan followed my stare—my death stare at the moment—and when he looked their way one of the women snapped a picture with her cell phone. He immediately buried his head into my shoulder as she took another.

  “What the fuck?” I screamed out to them.

  They ignored me, giggling, and hurried across the street away from us.

  “Seriously, what was that?” I said louder than normal.

  “I don’t know.” He looked distracted.

  “Look, I know you’re good looking but seriously. Does this kind of stuff happen often these days? I know I’ve been out of the game for a while, but I didn’t forget the rules. And I never remember anything of those sorts being acceptable.” I was kind of angry until I saw Nathan’s worried expression. “Hey.” I leaned back to read his face a bit better. “Are you all right?”

  “Yeah, I’m fine. I got to get going. Bar, tonight, you?” He still seemed sidetracked as he released me, taking a few steps back.

  “No, I’m only there Friday and Saturday nights when Emma’s at my sister’s in Jersey.” I made no effort to hide the fact that I was disappointed I wouldn’t see him.

  “Okay then. Looks like you and I have a date on the rooftop tonight, around nine?” He stepped onto the sidewalk.

  “Text me. Depends on the kid.” I smiled. His willingness to respect my daughter made me happy.

  He gave a little jog back up to where I was standing and planted a quick, soft kiss on my lips, never taking his eyes off me. “I’ll text you.” He put his hood up and jogged down the sidewalk. I watched him as he crossed the street, dug my smokes out, and lit a cigarette. After he was out of my sight I sat on the step and waited for Emma to get home from school.

  “I have to go to the bar for a few minutes. Want to come with or stay here?” I shouted to Emma from the kitchen as I finished cleaning up from dinner.

  “I have homework left, I’ll stay here,” she yelled back from her room.

  I walked to her bedroom. “Okay, I’ll be back in twenty minutes.”

  She got up from her desk and followed me to the door.

  “Lock it,” I told her with a quick kiss on the cheek, closing the door behind me. I waited for the click of the lock and checked it.

  “I know how to lock a door, Mom.” I heard her muffled words through the door, and I laughed as I left. When I got to the bar I glanced up at the clock. It was six ten. Oopsie.

  “I said five o’clock,” Rachel chastised me from behind the bar, but I couldn’t see her. She popped her head up from below.

  “You needed to talk to me?”

  “Yeah, I need to make an order, but I didn’t know if you wanted to add that new lager in this order or the next. Also, I wanted to see how you were. I couldn’t help but notice the rooftop was lit up last night when I left here.” She twisted her lips into that sarcastic lip pucker thing she did and slapped my arm.

  When I didn’t take the bait, she added, “That wouldn’t have anything to do with Ol’ Mr. Sexaaay pants coming in here at one A.M. looking for you would it?” She eyed me playfully.

  I put my hands on both sides of my face, gasped, and pretended to be shocked. “You know me better than that, Rachel!”

  She belted out an evil laugh and threw her head back and when she snapped it forward, her face was serious. “I thought I did.” She busted out laughing again.

  “Short version, he didn’t leave because of my issues, he just thought I needed some time to myself. He came here looking for me. I just happened to wake up from a nightmare and was on the roof having a smoke. I heard him talking to his friend out front. I didn’t mean to say anything but I just blurted something out because I was pissed.” I snickered at the memory. Word vomit. “He came up, and we talked until Emma’s alarm went off.”

  She was staring at me like she’d left her brains in the shitter, like she was waiting for more. Finally she blurted out, really loud and frustrated, “Okay, and?”

  “Jesus Christ, lower your voice,” I growled through my teeth, sinking into the bar stool as I shot an embarrassed thin-lipped smile to the group of businessmen seated at the end of the bar gawking at us.

  But of course Rachel dismissed what I said and stared intently at me some more.

  Ugh, she is incorrigible. I rolled my eyes and focused back on her. “Fine, we kissed.”

  She let out a squeal and began to jump up and down in place, clapping her hands like a kid on Christmas morning.

  “Oh my god, you freak, stop that.” I laughed, embarrassed, and looked down at the floor.

  She ran around the bar and threw herself around me in a tight hug. “She’s back! My fierce biotch is back!”

  “Looks that way,” I replied, smiling. Why shouldn’t I smile? I felt amazing.

  After she released me from her death grip, I hopped off the barstool. “Got to go, ho. Em is upstairs doing homework.”

  “When are you going to see him again?” Her eyes were still all lit up.

  “Later. We had lunch today. Oh, that reminds me, I have to tell you about the two women and what they did.” I started for the door.

  “Wait, short version,” she begged.

  “When we walked into the pizzeria, he held the door for them, and their reaction was all googly-eyed and giddy, staring at us through the window even after we were walking to the table. Then when we were in front of my building, they came past us again but they took pictures of us.”

  She looked disgusted.

  “I know, right? Fucking weird.” I shook my head.

  “That’s fucked up.” She picked up the rag and wiped off the bar mindlessly.

  “I think I’m missing something. Am I not asking the right questions? Have I been so wrapped up in the way I feel that I’ve missed something major? Or—maybe I’m not. Maybe this is how the world works now, and I’m beginning to notice because I took my head out of my ass finally. I honestly feel lost, Rach. Brand new, right here.” I pointed both my thumbs towards myself as I hopped down from the stool to leave.

  Mike said goodbye and Rachel gave me a quick hug.

  Rachel held up her hand to stop me. “Oh, before I forget, I scheduled an interview with someone for Wednesday at two. She has ten years’ experience behind the bar,” she said. “I hope this one works out—I’m getting fried, and I haven’t had a day off in two weeks.”

  “If you want to watch Emma, I’ll work. I don’t mind.”

  “Nah, I’m okay for now. I need the extra cash for my Egyptian adventure.
” She beamed as she walked back behind the bar.

  “All right, just let me know if you change your mind.” I opened the door.

  When I got back upstairs, Emma was done with her homework and showered.

  The buzzer for the door rang. We were both thrown off because Rachel was at the bar, and normally just used her key.

  “Who could that be?” She went to the window and poked her head through the curtain. “Mom, it’s a guy. I can’t see his face. He has a hat on.” She sounded confused.

  I hit the button. “Yes?”

  “Jordie, it’s me. I need to talk to you.”

  “Ummm, now isn’t a good time.” Shit. It’s Nathan. My eyes locked with Emma’s.

  “Please, Jordie, It’s important.” He had a hint of urgency in his voice.

  “Okay, one second. I’ll buzz you up, but you need to give me a minute. I have some, um, explaining to do.” My eyes still rested on my daughter. I was trying to assess her expression.

  Emma’s mouth gaped open and her eyes got wide. “Holding out on me, Mom? Are you sure you can be trusted home alone?” She exaggeratedly stretched and yawned. “I’ll be going to bed. Maybe you can tell me all about this tomorrow?” She smiled and came over to give me a kiss. “I.L.Y., Mom.” She practically skipped back to her bedroom and closed the door.

  She took that rather well.

  I opened the door to see Nathan standing there. He looked as gorgeous as ever but my stomach dropped. Something wasn’t right. He looked upset. He took his hat off, ran his hand through his hair, and sighed. His eyes burned right through me—oh, those eyes.

  “What’s wrong?” I motioned for him to come in.

  “I’m sorry, I know your daughter is home, but I just needed to see you.” He hugged me.

  “Uh, are you okay?” I studied his face.

  “Yeah, I’m okay... now.”

  “All right, you’re kinda freaking me out.” I backed out of our hug. “Let’s go upstairs.”

  “No, I can’t. I just really wanted to see you. I have to help Tyler set up a show a few blocks over and then I’ll be back. This way Emma will be asleep and you’ll be more comfortable. Can I come back around ten?”

  “Yeah, sure.” I was confused.

  He kissed me on the forehead. “I’m sorry, I know this must seem, well, major nut job-ish of me. I just... I can’t get you off my mind and, well, now I feel better.”

  A small smile reached my lips as I focused on the floor. “I’m glad it isn’t just me,” I mumbled.

  He placed his forehead against mine and wrapped his arms around my waist. “No, whatever this is, it isn’t just you. I feel it too, this between us. It’s like, okay, here comes the cliché, but it’s like electric.” It was as if saying the words out loud for the first time was not only an admission to me, but to him as well. “That’s why I had to see you. But I have to go.”

  I kept my body close to his and he leaned down to kiss me. “I’ll be back.”

  Oh Lord, I’m dizzy.

  He planted another soft, quick peck on my forehead and stepped away from me.

  “Ten. I’ll be back.” He reached for the doorknob, not looking at it.

  Still swept up in our kiss I managed to open my eyes and peep out an “okay,” nodding slightly.

  He ran his hand through his hair again and put his hat back on. He shook his head and winked at me before he left. I locked up and turned my back to the door just as I had Saturday night, except this time I was euphoric.

  I feel it, too. His words repeated in my memory as I felt that wonderful pull in my belly. I opened Emma’s door quietly and peeked in.

  “I’m still up,” she said. “I love this episode.”

  I glanced at the TV and saw she was watching iCarly. “Honey, I—”

  “Mom,” she interrupted me and sat up. “You don’t need to explain it to me. I get it. We were all worried that you’d never... well, you know, since Dad died and all, we worried that it messed you up too bad to ever fall in love again.” She sounded so far beyond her nine years of age. “Except Uncle Mark, he just thinks you’re a lesbian.”

  “What?” My mouth was wide open from shock, but I had to laugh. Fucking Mark, leave it to him. “He is such an asshole.” I shook my head in disbelief. “I just don’t want you confused, sweetie. If you have any questions, please ask me. I won’t have him in the apartment while you’re home,” I assured her.

  “Why not? Are you embarrassed of me or something?” She was definitely offended.

  “Jesus, god no, I just don’t want to bring someone I barely know around you just yet. So we’ll keep it to the rooftop or outside, all right?”

  “Mom, seriously, I don’t care. I know you’re a human and you have needs.” She lay back down, getting comfortable in her bed.

  “Um, excuse me, young lady, what do you know about needs?” I was appalled at the thought of my daughter knowing what that meant and embarrassed she’d said it out loud.

  “Health class, Aunt Kelly, TV, books, magazines, it’s everywhere, Mom.” She rolled her eyes at me.

  “Yeah, well it better be nowhere near you.”

  “Chill...” She raised her hand. “I have no interest. It sounds gross.”

  I chuckled.

  I went upstairs for a quick shower. I needed to calm down. My insides flittered with excitement. Nathan wanted to come back and spend time with me.

  After I finished getting ready, I went back in to check on Emma. She was out cold. I turned her TV off and cracked her door. Nathan would be there soon so I grabbed my smokes and keys and headed downstairs to wait for him. Right at ten a cab pulled up, and he handed the driver some money. Before he got out and jogged up to me he looked around first. Paranoid much?

  “C’mon, let’s get inside.” He rushed me up the steps with his hand on the small of my back.

  “Um, okay.”

  “Is Emma asleep?” He locked the door.

  “Yep,” I said as we climbed the stairs to the front door. I motioned for him to be quiet as we walked in. It was as if the click of the lock triggered something in him and his body pressed mine against the door. He groaned as his hand found its way to the back of my neck and twisted in my hair. He began to kiss me, hard and passionately. My body reacted to his in a way it never had before, responding to his every touch. My hands knotted up in his hair, my mouth was all his. Somehow we managed to make it upstairs without disturbing Emma. When we got to my bedroom, he stopped.

  “You okay?” He was out of breath and I’m pretty sure he growled.

  “What? Yes,” I said, just as winded, with a look of confusion.

  “Just making sure.” He smiled that smile—my smile now—and leaned back down into my lips, picking up right where we left off. He pulled back again, and we stared at each other.

  Oh, those eyes. My insides turned to Jell-O. He grabbed my shirt by the hem and I lifted my arms as he pulled it over my head and dropped it on the floor. He reached around me and unhooked my bra, and his fingers skimmed my arms lightly as he slid it off, creating a trail of goose bumps. He took his shirt off and dropped it on the floor.

  Oh, sweet baby Jesus, please give me the strength to make it through this.

  His pants hung off him in that way—you know what I’m talking about, just so you could see the cut of his muscles along both sides of his treasure trail. Our hands were everywhere on each other as we made it to the bed. When I felt the back of my thighs hit the mattress, I pulled back.

  Panting, I managed to speak. “Wait, wait, I need to know one thing before we do this.” I placed both my hands on the small, fuzzy patch of hair in the middle of his chest.

  Nose to nose he pulled me closer to him. I could feel his chest move to his erratic breathing. Oh shit...that is so hot.

  “Anything.” His blue eyes burned through me.

  “What’s your last name?”

  I could tell by his smile he was amused. “Harper, Nathan Miles Harper.”

  “Well,
Nathan Miles Harper, you do crazy things to my insides,” I murmured.

  “And I’m about to do the same to the rest of you.” His voice was all rough, and so hot, it sent tingles through my body.

  God damn, this man is a sexy beast. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and he grabbed my hips hard, lifting me onto the bed. His thumbs hooked on each side of my shorts, and I lifted up so he could slide them off, taking my panties down with them. He gave a sharp inhale as I ran my finger just above where his pants sat on his hips. I undid the button and unzipped his jeans, pulling them and his boxers down just enough to let them both drop to the floor. He stepped out of them as I climbed under the covers.

  “I don’t think so.” He drew one knee up onto the bed, and taking the corner of the quilt, he tossed it to the side as he climbed in and hovered over me. “I want to take in all of you.” His eyes scanned my body. I was a cluster fuck of emotions and sensation as I felt the full weight of his body on top of me. I was his, he was mine, and we got lost for quite a while.

  “You’ve got to be kidding me!” I just about screamed, out of breath as we lay next to one another in our post–sexy time bliss.

  “Shhhhh.” He placed his finger on my lips as he rolled onto his side, propping his head up with his elbow to look at me.

  “Oh, now you want me to shhhh?” I questioned him teasingly.

  “Seriously, we’re lucky your kid didn’t come up here thinking you were being murdered.” He ran his finger from my mouth down to my stomach.

  My skin tingled when he touched me, stimulating... intoxicating.

  “Even if she did get up, she wouldn’t come up here. First of all, the kid sleeps like me—a bomb could go off next to us and we wouldn’t wake up—and second, for whatever reason, she knows about needs.” I widened my eyes and let out a small laugh.

  “She’s nine?” He chuckled.

  “Yeah, apparently they’re educating them young these days.” I shrugged and hopped out of bed. I looked over at the clock. It was twelve thirty A.M. “I’m going to have a smoke and jump in the shower.” I grabbed a shirt off the floor and pulled it over my head. “You coming?” I asked him.

  “For the smoke or the shower?” He grinned devilishly at me.