by Harley, HJ
The day they left I took down most of the pictures in the living room. I left one of Jason holding Emma hanging up on the back wall. The walls seemed so naked, but a wave of relief rushed over me. A clean canvas, a new beginning. I smiled to myself.
“Babe?” Nathan called when he came through the door. His schedule wasn’t so bad. He’d had to shoot at night only three times so far and both were twelve hours. Other than that, we adjusted pretty well.
“In here,” I called out from the kitchen.
“Smells good. What is it?” He rested his chin on my shoulder.
“Chicken Alfredo.”
“Yum. I’m starving.” He gave me a peck on the cheek before he grabbed a beer from the fridge and went to sit at the table with Emma. She was reading a book on her iPad. I swear she never put that thing down.
“Hey, I have to go to Vancouver for three days next week.”
“Oh.”
“You two are coming, right?” He stood up and went back to the kitchen to make his plate. Emma perked up immediately.
“What are the dates?” I shot her a look. “You’ve missed entirely too much school, Emma, and I have to cover for Rachel June third and fourth.”
“That’s this weekend,” Nathan said. “I have to go the sixth, seventh, and eighth.”
For a moment my brain stopped functioning and his words echoed in my head. I put my plate down and walked over to the calendar. “That can’t be.” Trying to keep the panic out of my voice was a challenge.
“What’s the matter?”
“Oh, it’s nothing. Time has just gone by so quickly the past few months. It took me by surprise.” I managed a small smile as I reached up to kiss him.
Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Shit! I started over in my head. Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven...no...I messed up somewhere. No, you didn’t, stupid. Since you were fifteen it’s the same thing month after month, like clockwork. It has to be stress. There’s no way. How can you say no way? Not like you two jackrabbits have been careful or anything. Did you really think that you were just too old to get pregnant?
“I’m full. I’m going to take a shower and go to bed.” I picked up my plate and brought it in the kitchen.
“Mom, are you feeling okay?”
“Yeah, I’m good, just tired.”
Nathan looked at his phone. “It’s six-fifteen, Jordie.”
“I said I was tired. Jesus Christ, can’t I be tired without the fucking Spanish inquisition?” I snapped as I stomped up the steps.
I heard them talking downstairs, but I couldn’t make out the words. I grabbed my phone and started counting the days on the calendar like Rain Man, over and over. Nathan was going to flip. We weren’t even married. We’d never discussed it. Well, briefly, but that was a week into knowing each other. I was sure his mom was going to think I was the whore of the century. What kind of field day would the media have with that information? They would twist it, making it seem as though the only reason we got engaged was because Nathan knocked me up.
And Emma...
Why, Jordie? Why didn’t you think about any of this? I turned the shower on and stripped. I began to sob the second I stepped in.
“Jordan?”
“Yeah?” My voice cracked.
“What the fuck is going on?” I’d never heard Nathan so angry.
“I’ll be out in a second.”
“I’ll just come in.” He opened the shower door in just his jeans and stripped them off. “Explain, now.” He wrapped his arms around me.
“I’m sure it’s nothing. I just got a little freaked out.” I mustered up a steady voice.
“What’s nothing?” I could tell he was losing his patience.
“I’m late,” I admitted quietly.
He left his arms around me but pulled back to look at me. “Late for what?” He looked baffled and then his expression changed as if someone had turned on a light switch.
“Late late?” His eyes searched mine.
I nodded, looking down. He kissed me on the forehead and released me.
“I’ll be right back.” He hopped out of the shower, grabbed a towel, and practically ran out of the bathroom.
“Where are you going?”
He never answered.
When I got downstairs I peeked in Emma’s room. She was still up.
“Hey, you,” I said.
“Hey. What’s wrong?” She looked concerned.
“I just got freaked out with Nathan leaving is all. I’m okay now.”
“It’s only three days, Mom, and he invited us.”
“I know, sweetie.”
“Where did Nathan run out to?”
Probably to get a gun.
“Not too sure. He’ll be back soon though. I’m going to bed soon. You staying up for a bit?”
“Not too long. I’ll be asleep by eight-thirty, I promise. Go rest.”
“You know where I am if you need me. Goodnight, sweetie. I love you.” I kissed her forehead.
“Love you too, Mom.”
Nathan was gone for about an hour. I was beginning to worry a little, so I grabbed my phone and headed up to the rooftop. As soon as I stepped foot out the door, I lit a cigarette.
“Looks like I may be quitting you again.” I held my cigarette up to my face. I decided to text Nathan. At that point my mind had run amuck and I was beginning to think he’d never be back.
*Where are you?*
I heard his phone beep and I spun around to see him coming through the door. He pulled out his phone and put it on the table along with bags from three different pharmacies.
“Uh?” I stared at the bags, confused.
He smirked. “Hope you have to pee.”
“You took off like the Road Runner to go buy pregnancy tests?”
“Yup.” He nodded and tried to take the cigarette from me.
“I’m finishing this one. It’s most likely my last,” I said as I took one last drag off of it then stubbed it out. I smiled sarcastically. “There.”
He was right though. We went back inside and straight to the bedroom.
“Here.” He handed me a box.
“You’re supposed to do this first pee of the day, Nathan.” I handed it back.
“No, says right here.” He took the box out of my hand and pointed. “May be taken any time of day.” He handed it back to me.
“Now? Really?”
“Of course, now. Why not now? Don’t you want to know?” He was excited.
I was so confused by his reaction.
“What’s wrong?”
“We never talked about this. What it means for you, for your career. What will Emma think? Not the best example to set, ya know? Your parents? The world?” I buried my face in my hands.
“Jordan, look at me.” He lifted my chin from within my hands. “All that matters is what you and I think.”
“And what do you think?” I whispered.
He smiled my smile. “Just take the test.” He hopped on the bathroom counter.
“Um, you’re going to watch?”
“Yup. Besides, I have like ten of them.” He was clearly proud of his pregnancy test shopping spree.
“One will suffice, I promise. Now out. Please.” I pushed him out of the bathroom.
When I finished taking the test I placed it on the counter and washed my hands. It was digital. The results would flash across the little window when it was finished. Whatever happened to old-fashioned one line or two? I went into the bedroom.
Nathan had the curtain pulled to the side and was staring out the window. He turned when he heard me. “And?”
“Few more minutes. It’ll beep when it’s ready.” I slipped my arms around him and rested my cheek on his back. He turned around and kissed my neck and let his lips linger. I felt him smile against my skin. He’s happy. He’s smiling. He isn’t mad? “You aren’t angry with me?”
He immediately pulled away from me and held me by my shoulders at arm’s length.
“What? Mad at you because you did this all alone?” He crinkled his eyebrows and chuckled. “Mad at what? Jordie, it’s not like we’ve been the poster board for birth control. We’ve never been careful. I just figured it was to be expected at some point.” He shrugged and flashed a grin, but his expression saddened suddenly. “Are you really—shocked by this?”
We stood there staring at each other, blue eyes to green. Beep beep beep beep beep. Saved by the beep.
“Jordan, are you just shocked or are you unhappy?” His voice was all sorrow.
“What? No. I’m worried... about... what you would think... and all the other things I mentioned.”
“Fuck everything else. All that matters is what this family thinks, right here, you, me, and Emma.”
Our family, this family. He considers us a family. If I could jump out of my skin in pure joy I would.
“Now, taking that into consideration, does the thought of being pregnant with our baby make you happy?”
I felt his eyes burn right through me. “Of course I’d be happy—more than happy, Nathan.”
“All right then. Do you want to look or do you want me to look?”
“It’s up to you.”
“Come with me. We can look together.”
We walked into the bathroom.
He picked it up, sure not to look at it. “On the count of three,” he said.
“Oh, for the love of god, just give me it. I can’t make this all dramatic and shit.” I laughed, trying to take it from him as he held it above his head.
I laughed harder. “You know I peed on that thing you’re waving above your head!”
He lowered it. We both looked down at the same time. There it was, in bold letters.
Pregnant.
He gazed at me with the biggest smile I had ever seen. He picked me up, bringing me close to him, and kissed me long and hard. I wound my fingers in his hair, and his hands were all over me. He kicked the door lightly out of the way and carried me to the bed.
He grinned as he hovered over me. “Married and a baby.”
“Looks that way,” I whispered as I wrapped my legs around him.
“I love you so much, Jordan.”
“I love you, too.” I tugged on his hair and brought him close to me.
“HOW LONG CAN WE KEEP THAT UP?” Nathan rubbed his hand playfully over my stomach.
“For as long as you can stand doing it with an oversized belly me.” I snickered playfully, placing my hand over his. “It’s still really early, Nathan. I’m only two weeks late.”
“You really didn’t notice you were late?”
“No. I never had to keep track. It’s been like clockwork since my first period. I knew the first day I was late that I was pregnant with Emma.” I laughed at the memory.
He motioned with his hand a bump over my stomach.
“Are you making fun of me?” I slapped his arm and shifted to get off the bed. “Is that any way to treat—” When I stood up, the apartment alarm started blaring.
“Stay here!” he shouted and launched himself out of bed, grabbing his boxers and shirt as he ran out the room.
I threw on my shorts and t-shirt. “Nathan! Check Emma!” I followed him downstairs. Frank was through the front door in a matter of seconds and Emma was already out of bed and standing in her doorway, disorientated. Nathan shut off the alarm and Frank checked the alarm log.
“It says the panic button on the spare set was hit. Where are your keys?”
Nathan chuckled and gave me a look. “They’re in my jeans pocket upstairs on the floor.”
“I must have stepped on it when I stood up.” I smacked my forehead lightly.
“Heart attack. Thanks, guys. I’m going back to sleep.” Emma moped groggily back into her room.
“All right then, mystery solved. I’m headed out for the night, you two. Charles is taking over. Sleep well.” Frank gave me a wink before he turned to leave.
“Goodnight, Frank. Sorry!”
He waved, not looking back.
Nathan and I got back in bed. It was only nine-thirty but I felt as if it’d been the longest day of my life. I flipped over onto my stomach and tried to get comfortable. Nathan rolled onto his side and propped himself up on his elbow. My eyes were closed, but I could feel his stare.
I couldn’t hold back my grin. “What?”
“What what? I can’t just watch my pregnant fiancée sleep?”
“First off, no, that’s creepy, and second of all, I need to actually be asleep for you to watch me sleep.” I peeked out of one eye. “You know, we’re going to have to set a date now and soon because before you know it someone will have to help roll my big pregnant ass down the aisle.”
“It will be the most unbelievably beautiful big pregnant ass anyone has ever seen,” he tried to assure me. “I have an idea—you and Emma come to Vancouver with me and from there we can go to Vegas. Done and done.” He sounded so proud of his plan.
“Jesus, Nathan, you want Rachel to go ape shit?” I squinted at him. “And your parents? Your mom would be so upset. She wants to see you get married so badly. Let’s not forget about my sister...”
“All right then, everyone meets us there. It’s very simple, Jordie.”
“I’d have to close the bar down for a night or two. Emma would miss more school.” I trailed off again.
He leaned over and kissed me on the nose. “I’ll tell you what. They have very nice wedding accommodations at the Mandalay Bay in Vegas. They can put a royal gala together in no time. We can do it over the weekend so Emma doesn’t miss any more school. You give me the list and I’ll pass it along to Lila. All you’ll have to do is find a dress and tell Lila what kind of flowers you like. No stress, no mess.”
“That’s easy for you to say. I can’t afford to fly everyone out there, Nath—”
“Ahhh contraire, my parents are footing this shindig, remember?”
“Yeah, right, okay, like I’m going to let your parents pay for it.”
“Why not? My mom did insist.”
“Seriously, just no.”
“Give me a list before I leave, please. I’ll call Tyler and my parents in the morning, you call Rachel and Kelly and have everyone clear their schedules for the eleventh. How’s that sound?”
I rolled out of bed and picked up my phone.
“Who are you calling?”
“Rachel. If I wait until morning and she hears it from Tyler first, I’m dog food.”
“No way. You’re all mine tonight.” He snatched the phone from my hand, drew me close to him, and kissed me. “When should we tell Emma?” His lips were still pressed against mine.
I pulled back slightly. “Well, I really should go to the doctor first. Get confirmation with blood work and make sure everything is all right before we start telling people. That’s like the standard pregnancy etiquette, I think.”
“Okay.” He leaned back in towards me, but I stopped him.
“I’ll have to tell Rachel, though. She’s going to suspect it anyhow since we’re getting married so quickly, but for right now I need to get some sleep. I’m exhausted.” I gave him a quick kiss goodnight and snuggled up next to him. As I was drifting off to sleep the alarm began to blare again.
“Ah, this fucking thing is more trouble...” I shouted as it cut off.
Nathan was already out of bed, putting his jeans on. “What the fuck? Stay here.”
He rolled his eyes, I guessed because I was already out of bed putting my shorts on. His phone rang so I grabbed it off the nightstand and answered it on the way back downstairs.
“Hi, Frank.”
“Jordie, what happened? I’m on my way.”
“I have no idea. The alarm went off, then it stopped. Malfunction, I—” I was cut off by the alarm again. “Jesus Christ, this thing has gone AWOL, Frank.”
“I’ll be there in ten minutes.” He hung up.
Nathan took his keys out of his pocket and mashed the button until the alarm stopped. I
could tell he was pissy by the way he tossed them on the table next to the door.
“What’s wrong with it?”
He stood in front of the alarm cursing as he punched buttons with his fingers. “The damned thing shouldn’t have gone off again. I’m trying to disarm it completely but as soon as I do it rearms.” His frustration grew as the panel beeped in protest. He ran his hand through his hair and groaned.
“Mom?” Emma stumbled out of her room groggily for the second time. “Really? Just shut it off,” she whined.
“We’re trying, but something’s—” I was interrupted again by the scream of the alarm so I shouted to her, “Something’s wrong with it.”
She tossed a sarcastic “Clearly,” at me and went back in her room, slamming the door.
“Fuck, stop,” Nathan yelled at the panel as he pounded the buttons much harder than he had before.
My home phone rang so I checked the caller ID. “It’s the alarm company.”
“Tell them to disarm this effing thing.”
“Hello?”
“Ms. Spagnato, we see your alarm has been triggered. Do you need assistance?”
“Yes. Please, shut it off. It keeps going off, even after we disarm it.”
“It looks as if a remote is using the panic mode, then cutting it off, and repeating the same sequence.”
The alarm stopped.
“Thank you.”
“Ma’am, I was in the process of disarming it manually, but it seems the remote has disarmed it again.”
“Which remote?” The confusion was pretty clear in my voice.
“Remote number four, listed as spare.”
“That’s not possible. I’m looking at the spare set of keys on the table in front of me.”
“That’s what it’s indicating, Ms. Spagnato. Remote number four, spare. Perhaps there’s a short in that remote.”
“Well, that’s great,” I muttered.
“I have the serial number for that particular remote. I’ll disable it now and send out a replacement. You should have it within a day or two. Is that all right?”