by Karen Gordon
He looks surprised because he’s only known me as a super-successful business woman. “Really?”
“Yep. But then Ora happened, and lots of money, and opportunities to travel and meet people that I had never dreamed of. Sound familiar?”
“Yeah, it does.” I really have his attention now because he sees more than ever how much we have in common and how rare we are.
“I loved my original dream, it made me really happy, so I was determined to try and make it happen, but I figured out that I can’t. I can’t go back to being someone I’m not anymore. You and I are destined to live really different, exciting lives, but there are some things that just don’t fit in that life.”
“Like us living together.” He is starting to get the picture.
“Yeah, like us living together. Dating is hard when you live like we do. Like my friend Dom said, “The dating pool is small” and I’m always on the move. When I meet a great guy who I have a good time with, like you, I grab as much fun and romance as I can, but I can’t make any guarantees or promises.”
He sits back and thinks over all I’ve thrown at him. “So what you’re saying is shut up about the other guys, Evan, and just have fun right now.”
I laugh at his blunt, but true, summary.
He takes my hand and asks, “So does that mean we still kiss?”
I love how our closeness has made him bold enough to ask. “Yes,” I lean in and kiss the side of his chin where his new stubble has fascinated me all day. “We do.”
✈ ✈ ✈
His boldness ended with kissing and our evening ended with me falling asleep on the lounger while we were watching the latest Star Wars movie. I wake up the next morning chilled and alone outside. I pull his abandoned blanket over on top of me and enjoy the pink glow of the sunrise reflected off the water in the swimming pool. It’s so peaceful and, instead of being irritated that he left me out here, I’m grateful. I like waking up alone and I chalk up yet another reason that I don’t need to live with anyone, let alone get married.
When my need for coffee overwhelms me I force myself out from under the blankets and carry them inside with me. I look around for Evan and finally find him sound asleep on one of the couches in the living/gaming room. He’s still wearing his Italian suit and he looks like an interesting mix of gamer dude and sophisticated business man. It makes me smile.
My moving around doesn’t wake him so I call for an Uber to take me back to my hotel and send Evan a text for when he wakes up later.
I’ve gone to my hotel to clean up.
Let me know if you want to drive up to San Francisco with me later.
My male Uber driver gives me a once over when I get in the car. I forgot that I’m still wearing a cocktail dress and my very flashy necklace. Technically, I believe what I’m doing is called the walk of shame, but I have no shame. Even if Evan and I had spent the night fucking like bunnies I still wouldn’t be ashamed. This is my life and I’m not making any apologies to anyone.
✈ ✈ ✈
Evan and I spend the day and have dinner in San Francisco. Since he technically picked the restaurant last night it’s my turn tonight. I find a great casual oyster bar near the water and force Evan to try one of my raw oysters to go along with his sacrilegious hamburger. We’re so much more relaxed around each other now that we’ve cleared the air about our relationship.
When we get back to Palo Alto I drop him at his house but decline coming in. I have a very early flight back to Savannah and a wedding to attend. Evan doesn’t seem too upset but he does try to pin me down with a commitment of when we might see each other again. All I can tell him is that we won’t lose touch; I’m still going to be involved in making sure he has a smooth start up for his aviation department in Vietnam. He lets it go at that and sends me off with a very nice kiss.
I stretch out and sleep in my first-class seat on the flight home. I have an entire bag of tricks now to make sure I don’t have to make hours of small talk with whoever sits next to me. I curl up in my Italian throw, put on my noise cancelling headsets, and finish the look off with an eye mask that has “Do NOT Disturb” embroidered across the front. I wake up when the stewardess tells me I need to move my seat upright to prepare for landing. As I’m repacking my supplies I notice that the man sitting next to me is seriously easy on the eyes. I could have been chatting him up, knocking his socks off with my business card, the entire way. I laugh to myself. When do I think I would have time for another man? Seriously Viv, slow down!
✈ ✈ ✈
When I land in Savannah I have exactly two and one half hours to get home, change clothes and get to Danny’s wedding. Ok, it’s literally two blocks from my apartment, but with my place in complete disarray and all of my make-up packed I’m going to be pushing it for time. I mentally make a schedule of each thing I need to do to prepare when I realize that I don’t have a card or a gift. Damn it. I think about what’s available at the airport and rule that out. It would be pretty obvious where I shopped when I give the bride and groom matching “Savannah, GA” hoodies and a box of praline candy.
I’m cataloging all the stores along my route home when it dawns on me. I’ve already got the perfect gift and it’s at my apartment. I just need a box to wrap it in.
Chapter Eight
I arrive a little late and take a seat in the back row of the chairs set up by the fountain. I’m not hiding necessarily. I mean, there’s only about twenty-five or thirty guests. I just don’t want to be obvious. I wonder if anyone will think I’m here to crash the ceremony. Not everyone invites their crazy ex-girlfriend (stalker?) to their wedding.
A limo pulls up and a petite blonde woman in an understated crème dress gets out. It has to be Krista. Physically she is my polar opposite. In my heels I tower over her and even though I never go to the gym, I could probably bench-press her tiny frame. As she passes the chairs she glances over at the guests. I look down, not wanting to catch her eye. I hope Danny told her I would be here but he’s not known for remembering details. Then again, she may have no idea that I even exist. I’m not sure if that’s comforting or not.
Danny gets out of the car next, trailing behind so Krista can make an entrance. It’s nice to see that he’s still a gentleman.
I study him as he stands next to Krista, holding her hand as they listen to the officiant talk about love and its magical powers. My god he looks good in a suit. I can tell myself that I understand why our relationship didn’t work out, but my hormones will forever be on board for another round of sex with him. When he says his vows it hurts a little. I was supposed to be the one he was vowing eternal love to. My stab of jealousy intensifies when I realize how much he means it. He’s not a cheater or a man who walks away when things get rough. He’s a keeper and Krista has him.
But the truth hits me before I can dive too deep into my pity pool. Danny may be a forever kind of guy, but right now and for the foreseeable future, I’m not looking for forever. I just had this discussion with Evan last night. I might not get a classic happily-ever-after but I am getting a really exciting, wild ride. I might as well enjoy it.
✈ ✈ ✈
I’m opting out of the reception so I approach Danny and Krista before they leave the park to give them their gift. Danny hugs me and introduces me to his wife. (Ouch! Completely illogical, I know, but it still hurts.)
I lean in and give her a small hug. “Nice to meet you.”
“Oh my gosh, it’s so nice to meet you too. Danny has told me so much about you and your dad. I wish I could have met him. He sounds fantastic.” She has a British accent which surprises me. I know they met in Germany so I assumed she was German.
“Thank you, yes, he was quite a piece of work.”
I reach into my purse and take out the small box tied in white ribbon. I didn’t have time to get a card so I attached a homemade gift tag. Danny takes it and shakes the box. It rattles loudly.
“I’m guessing china.” He rattles it again. “
A full place setting I’d say.”
I laugh at his goofy joke and tell him, “Open it.” He easily pulls off the ribbon then opens the lid and looks inside. He stops and stares at my gift, dumbfounded. I see him swallow a few times, fighting tears, which unfortunately makes me start crying.
He takes the keys to The Goat out of the box and wraps his hand around them. His voice cracks when he says, “The Goat.” I can only nod.
Poor Krista is lost. He may have mentioned me and Dad but he somehow left off stories of The Goat.
Danny and I are both crying now. Krista hands us tissues from behind her bouquet. I have to admit, the fact she comes prepared makes me like her more. Danny takes a deep breath and asks, “Are you sure?”
“Yeah, I’m sure. It should have been yours from the beginning,” I say before I start blubbering. Danny pulls me in for a bone-crushing hug and I cry harder. I completely let myself go on the man who feels closest to hugging my dad. “I love you,” I whisper in his ear. “And I’m happy for you.”
He squeezes me tight and whispers back. “Yeah, you sound like it,” We both laugh through our tears and pull apart.
I sniff and wipe my nose. “It’s in the storage unit still but I’ll have garage space at my new house if you still need to store it.”
He sniffs and nods. “Yeah, I’ve got a few more months before I’m back permanently.”
I look at Krista and tell her. “Congratulations, you look absolutely beautiful in your dress.” I want to tell her so much more. I want to make sure she knows that she got one of the really good ones and that if she ever hurts him she will have to answer to me. But I can’t because I don’t want to go on another crying jag, at least not while I’m in the park. I’m sure I’ll cry me a river when I get home.
She thanks me and asks, “Are you coming to the reception?”
I beg off. “No, I flew in on an early flight from San Francisco this morning. I’m pretty tired, but thank you.”
“Oh, Danny said you have a super job. I want to hear all about it sometime.”
I nod and start to walk away but Danny grabs my hand and pulls me back. He hugs me one more time and says, “Thank you for coming.” I can’t talk so I give him a small smile. He kisses me on the forehead and I hug him back one last time before I leave.
✈ ✈ ✈
I call Dom as soon as I get home. I know she’s been worried sick about me all afternoon.
“The Goat, huh?” She is not thrilled when I tell her what I gave them as a wedding gift.
“Yep, it was never really mine.” Kind of like it’s new owner. “However, he won’t be moving back from Saudi for almost a year. We can still stir up some trouble in it until then.”
“Good, I think I need it.”
“What’s up?” She sounds uncharacteristically sad.
“Just feeling…I don’t know, old.”
Her birthday is a few weeks away, maybe that’s got her down. “Is turning twenty-eight freaking you out?” I can’t imagine why this birthday would be a tough one but the blues don’t necessarily make sense. Maybe it’s some sort of post-baby sadness.
She hesitates so I push her. “Hey, talk to me. You can tell me anything. Remember, you can never be too crazy for me.”
This makes her laugh a little. “I feel like…I don’t know…like there’s nothing big or exciting in front of me now.” She pauses, carefully choosing her words. “Forever I’ve been planning my wedding and starting a family and now, boom, I’m done. The big, exciting things are all behind me.”
I see her point but also see a much bigger picture. “Ok yeah, those things have happened, but you have no idea what’s coming down the road. You are moving into a big-ass house on a very cool downtown square with me. Did you ever think that would happen?”
“No,” she concedes.
“And as my official assistant, you have no idea what’s ahead. I don’t know what’s ahead.” Just saying that sentence would have given me hives in the past, now I kind of like the idea. “I just turned down an offer to relocate to Vietnam but I could have taken it. Do you see, we are poised for some really interesting shit here, Chicca. We’re on this wild ride together.”
“So if you decided to go to Vietnam with the guy I think you should be with, would that mean Luis and I get the whole house?” I can tell her mood is improving. She’s teasing me.
I laugh. “Are you pushing me out?”
“No, just giving you grief. I’m not giving up on you and Evan.” She’s as stubborn as I am.
“Ok, you hold on all you want. Time will tell. For right now it sounds like you need a night out on the town.”
Her sigh tells me how much she wants to. “Oh, that sounds good but I’m breast feeding so no cocktails for me yet.”
“So let’s do something that doesn’t involve cocktails. Let’s get the hell out of dodge together, go on a trip. My princeling loves car rides.” Then it hits me. “No, you know what we’re going to do?”
“Oh god, what?” She’s holding on for a new Viv scheme.
“We’re going shopping in Paris.” I announce.
“What? Chicca you are out of your head. You need to slow down on whatever it is you’re drinking.”
“I’m totally sober and completely serious. You, me, and Marco are going to Paris.” I’ll show you stubborn.
“Ok, so we are going to Paris but we won’t get much shopping done with Marco along. He has a nap schedule and he has to be where my boobs are.” She’s giving me objections but I can hear it in her voice: she wants to go.
“Then we will take a nanny along.” I counter.
“He doesn’t have a nanny.”
“No, but he has a nana. Lucca will come too if I ask her.” She’s quiet so I know I’ve won that round.
Her final objection is a weak one and she knows it. “And who’s paying for all this shopping in Paris?”
“That would be me. I promised you this trip before I started working with Jack. We are long overdue.”
“I can’t let you. It’s too much.”
“Bullshit. Besides, it’s not a vacation. This is company business. I’m going clothes shopping in Paris and I need my assistant. She just happens to need to bring her little boob-sucker and nanny with her.”
“And when is this business trip happening, boss lady?” I know she’s definitely feeling better because she’s got her attitude back.
“November. My dates are flexible around your schedule and the best ticket prices so I suggest you get online now and start doing some research for your boss lady.”
“And what are you going to do if I don’t?” Oh, she’s definitely got her attitude back. “Fire me?”
“No Miss smarty-pants, I’m going to go buy really obnoxious, loud toys for your kid and make sure they are his favorite.”
Now she’s laughing. “Ok, ok, you win. I will call my mom and start shopping for tickets.”
“Good, because I need you, you know. Screw a husband, you’re the one I can’t do this without.”
“No, you can screw a husband later, when you get one.” She’s getting snappy with her one-liners.
“If I get one,” I add. “Now get to work. I’ve got an asshole in Montreal who needs a plane and a freak in New Orleans who wants my body so I’ve got my own work to take care of.”
Chapter Nine
Dealing with Andre in Montreal is on the same level with getting a root canal. It’s painful and I don’t want to do it but I must. I’m doing as much of this sale as possible online to minimize face time. This way I don’t have to spend time with him and I can also pretend Mikel is much more involved in the process than he is. Andre thinks I run every idea he has and every request past Mikel because there is no way that silly little me with my female brain could provide him with answers. I’ve rolled my eyes at his asinine emails so many times I may have damaged my retina. But I persist because I want this sale. I can’t wait to make a sizeable donation to Women in Business in his name. Somet
imes my motivation is not the most noble, but it works.
We are getting closer to my goal. His questions have dwindled and I feel like he and his client are almost ready to put a deposit down. If this were any other client I would be on a plane right now going to hold their hand and talk them through any objections they have. To override my guilt for neglecting them I’ve been wooing the restauranteur. With some Dom research I’ve been able to gift him a box of his favorite cigars and another that came highly recommended. I sent a gift basket of Savannah specialties to his secretary and another to Andre’s. But I can only stall so long. I’m going to have to go up there soon to see if I can close the deal.
I also need to fly to New Orleans to get Carla settled back in her home. She’s up and walking but is still using a walker or a cane to keep her balance. I’ll need to prepare her house to make it as shuffle friendly as possible. Of course, I’m also hoping to get in some Sebastian time. The last time we texted he said he would take some time off between jobs to help me with Carla. He also hinted at some ideas he’s had for sexy play time with me. The key word there is “hinted.” I know it’s another component of his control game and part of me hates it because I love details and I live to be prepared. But part of me is also enjoying being toyed with. His emails and texts always leave me guessing. He’s got my brain turned on so much that I’m considering just surrendering my body to him to see what he will do. “Considering” is the key word in there. I’m still me.
✈ ✈ ✈
I decide that I will get Montreal over with first so I can spend as much time in New Orleans as possible. Before I book my flights, I let both Andre and his client know that I will be in town and I’d like to meet with them . Andre’s request that Mikel be there too has me torn. I’ve told Mikel about this guy and we’ve had a few good laughs about him. I know that Mikel has complete confidence in me that I can close this deal, but I might need him to help me out by putting in some face time. I shudder when I realize that it’s actually not a bad idea. If Mikel brings the demo plane, a ride might be just the thing that seals the deal.