“I trust you.”
Her mistake. He couldn’t wait to get a look at her lovely body without clothes on. He probably should be ashamed of that, but he wasn’t. He’d be very quiet, and she’d never know. He held on to her hand all the way to the edge of the pool, making shooing sounds as a way of doing his duty to keep the snakes at bay.
Pretending to look the other way, he watched her remove her shirt and undershirt, undo her britches, and sit on the shirt while prying her boots off, then peeling the pants off. Her skin glowed white in the starlight when she rose and waded into the water.
“You want me to come closer and make sure there aren’t any water moccasins in there?”
She squealed. “Zachariah. Yes, you come here this instant.” She froze in the spot, reached a hand out to him.
He stepped closer, losing his breath at the beauty of her perfect breasts, flat stomach, and long shapely legs. “Tyra, you’re beautiful.”
For a moment she did not move or appear to hear or see him staring at her. Then she whispered something he didn’t hear.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to… I just can’t help it, girl. Dammit, all I’ve wanted for a long time is to see you like this, hold you in my arms.”
Her lovely eyes gleamed when she turned slowly to meet his gaze. “Then you should have said something.” Watching him intently, she raised his hand she still held and placed it on her breast, dragged in a breath.
His heart double-timed, and for a moment he simply cupped his palm around the firm young flesh.
With a huge sigh that told him how very exhausted she was, she sank to her bottom in the pool with a sigh of pure delight. “If you’d take your clothes off, you could join me. Don’t get any ideas, just sit with me and maybe hold me for a while.”
He broke every record for undressing he’d ever held, but before he tossed the shirt aside, he slipped out the small bar of sweet-smelling soap he’d also bought at the mercantile. He tossed away the shirt, shucked his britches down to his boot tops, and kicked them off.
She grabbed his hand and pulled him down beside her. “Let’s just sit here and relax and talk. We haven’t had a good talk in days. We need to decide what to do with Sam and Micah. We can’t keep dragging them about like this.”
He cleared his throat and cradled her hand in both his. Best if he pushed aside the ideas he’d had of having her this night. She had nothing of the kind in mind. All she wanted was his company and a good talk. Women always wanted to talk when something else would be more enjoyable. Okay, he’d oblige, even though he had plenty of other things in mind.
“You seem to have a connection to those boys. Have they told you much about their treatment? I saw Sam’s back. He’s been whipped, and more than once.”
After a moment of silence she spoke. “You should see Rowena’s back. Yes, I do feel a connection. At the convent they put me through a lot, but she made the mistake of falling in love with the yard boy when they were only seventeen. The nuns kept her on her knees for hours on end on the rock floor of her cell. One beat her every night for weeks trying to get her to confess to her sins, but Rowena wouldn’t do it. I could hear her screaming on and on. I had a lot of bad dreams about them doing the same thing to me. At the time I didn’t understand what her sins might have been.”
When she finished, he stared out across the glittering water for a long time, then gathered her in his arms and pulled her into his lap, where she curled up. There was nothing he could think of to say.
When they saw Josh skedaddle to his blanket, she whispered, “Are the boys asleep?”
“Both sleeping like logs.”
He stared out across the pool, stars glittering in the water that rippled from her movements. The water was cool and soothing, just deep enough that they could sit and have their heads out of the water. Her breasts floated beneath the surface, her pale skin gleaming in the starshine. His gut clenched with desire, but he would go slow and easy, for he wanted this night to go on forever. They had so few alone together.
“Lean back, and I’ll wash your hair.” He rubbed the small bar of soap in her wet hair and worked up some bubbles with his fingertips.
“Oh, that smells so good. When did you get that?”
“Last place we stopped. Remember, I did that trick with the cards and won a few bets?”
“And you bought me the soap?”
“Yeah, it’s been so long since you’ve had anything nice.”
“Having you is nicer.”
The sweetly whispered words sent shudders clear to his lower parts, which nodded. She could do that without even touching him. Usually nothing more could come of it, for he always held back, afraid of frightening her. Tonight perhaps something might come of his desires. Slow and easy. Dammit, he had to be careful.
After he rinsed her hair, he palmed the soap and rubbed her back, then worked his way around to soap her breasts, taking his time till her nipples hardened. Well, she hadn’t pulled away. Still, he fought his body’s desire to hop to it.
“Mmm, it’s been a long time since I’ve had anything this nice. No, I got that wrong. I never have had anything this nice.” His words made her chuckle.
He rinsed her breasts, then lowered his head to kiss her bare flesh, to lick and nibble, one ear alert to any objection from her. He didn’t want to get cold-conked. Dear God, she tasted so good, skin all slick and velvety with soap and her own special flavor. She moaned, and he imagined suckling at her breasts but feared getting carried away. So far she appeared to be enjoying it. He contented himself with kissing her shoulders, and arms. Under his touch her nipples puckered, hard as pearls, and he rubbed them between his fingers and thumb.
“Do that some more. I’ve never felt anything so delightful.” She cooed and hummed, and he continued to touch her.
Despite the coolness of the water, he grew hard, his member on alert.
With tiny little sounds, she shifted and, facing him, sat in his lap, legs coiled around his waist. His member liked that, perked up a lot more. He let her go at her own pace, but damn he wanted in there. It was all he could do to hold back. She had to be a virgin, and he didn’t want to hurt her. To move things along, he went back to kissing her breasts. She liked that a lot.
When she backed off, he couldn’t help gasping with disappointment. Her fingers closed around his swollen penis.
“Holy shit.” The words exploded before he could help himself, and he quickly followed with a whispered, “Sorry.” He leaned back, face going under water, and came up gasping.
She laughed and continued messing with him, fingers exploring every inch of his aching member and then feathering over the tip.
Lord God Almighty. Clearing his throat, he croaked out a few words. “Hey, sweetness. You’d better lay off that for a little while.”
“Mmm, doesn’t it feel good?”
“Sure as hell does. Could I show you something now? If it’s okay?”
Tyra cleared her throat twice before telling him yes. She ought to wade right out, this very minute. Being naked alone with him might not be a good idea. On the other hand, it could be the best ever. Ever since she’d shot him, some mighty disturbing thoughts involving him had run through her mind. One thing was for sure—she’d never had those particular ideas about James Lee, and all along she’d believed she was in love with him. This attraction, or plain curiosity, would not go away. What would Calamity Jane do?
He shook his head so rainbow droplets flew from his wet hair. His bare body shimmered in the clear water. All she had to do was reach out. Touching him down there had been delightful and quite surprising. She’d never actually known how a man felt or looked. Horror stories from the nuns didn’t count, or at least she’d tried hard to let them go.
James Lee was not nearly as large as Zach. It had been so dark when they’d played at sex. Somehow what they’d done together didn’t really count except in a dreamy sort of way. Something up inside her beat with the rhythm of her heart. She yearned
for Zach’s touch. What else she might want she wasn’t sure. But she’d love to find out, and with this man. This man only. Heat crawled up her throat, and she couldn’t speak.
He ran the palms of both hands down his chest. “Feels mighty good, don’t it?”
She could only nod. What would feel mighty good was him gliding his hands over her that way. The idea froze her tongue solid in her mouth so she couldn’t speak, couldn’t ask him to do so. He trailed the tips of his fingers over her cheek and she shivered, leaned closer. “What did you want to show me?”
“You’re beautiful, all wet and shiny like that. The stars make your hair look like it’s on fire.” His hands rested on her shoulders, then moved to cup her breasts from behind. “I want to kiss you there.” He flicked a nipple with one fingertip.
Time she found her voice. “You are a most bold man. How did you know I wouldn’t slap your face, touching me like that?”
He laughed, enclosed her wrist, and swung her hand playfully against his cheek. “It was a lucky guess, I reckon. I been watching you watch me. Woman like you watches a man, it’s bound to mean something special.”
“A woman like me? What am I like, exactly?”
“Oh, wild and brave and curious. Not in the least afraid to do what you want. What do you want right now, Tyra?”
He leaned so close his breath feathered across her face, the warmth of his flesh touched hers, sent desire rippling into her core like his fist gripped her there. Something akin to the flutter of wings shivered between her legs, made her itch to rub her thighs together.
She turned in his embrace, moved against him, closed her eyes, and licked her lips. His mouth descended upon hers, and oh, dear God, it was like tasting honey. Her tongue explored the silken smoothness of him, and he groaned, pushed up against her so she felt every inch of his belly and thighs, the nudging of the hardness of his…even in her mind she didn’t know how to refer to his magnificence.
Lips locked, her tiny “oh” was met by his chuckle, like they had taken in a small part of each other and tucked it away.
“You like that, do you?” His kisses worked up her jawline till he nibbled her earlobe.
She wiggled, wanting that nudging down below to continue, and he got the message, wrapped an arm around her waist, and lifted her so the long, smooth, hot member fit between her legs. He went so still for a moment. Oh, dear God, don’t let him be thinking twice. Perhaps I don’t measure up. He’s surely had many of “those” women. How could she possibly know how to please this glorious man? Did she dare let him put it inside her? It would surely hurt. Should she risk the wrath of that God the nuns had so frightened her with? Tears chased each other down her cheeks.
For a long moment, they remained so very close, so very still, like they had been frozen in ice.
Under his breath, he said, “I won’t hurt you, my sweet Tyra. Please don’t cry.” He erased the tears with his thumbs. “You are so dear. I want to hold you close like this forever. You’ve brought the light to a darkness that’s been in me a long while.”
What could she possibly say to that? So many words raced through her mind, but she grabbed at them only to have them slip away. Nothing she could say would be enough. Oh, please let me keep him close. Let him be mine forever. How stupid that she couldn’t manage to just say those simple words to him.
He nibbled down her throat, breath warm on the coolness of her skin, then, so slowly, moved over the swell of her breast and drew a nipple into his mouth. Paused, perhaps giving her the chance to withdraw. Move away. Discard him.
But she didn’t, couldn’t cast him aside, despite the whispered words that echoed from her childhood. Heated desire shot through her in all directions, blanking out the dire warnings. She’d swear lightning shot out her fingers and toes. Every part of her body tingled. Nothing that felt like this could possibly be a sin. No man had ever put his mouth on her bare breast, and it was an astonishing feeling. She moved ever so gently into his kiss to let him know it was a good thing. A very good thing. How strange. That which was intended to nurture a child also gave such pleasure to both herself and the man who suckled there.
Both arms wrapped tightly around his neck to make sure he didn’t stop anytime soon, she leaned her head back, offered her body to him, and stared into heaven. Prayed he would never take his mouth away. Something new bloomed inside her with exquisite beauty. While he continued to kiss her breast, he grew harder between her legs, like a branding iron poking at her. Wanting in.
“I don’t know what to do,” she said when he cupped her buttocks. “I’m afraid I’ll do it wrong.”
“Oh, no, my sweet. Never. Relax, let me lift you, wrap your legs around my waist.”
“Oh. Oh, you want…I don’t think I can do that. I never have, you see, and I’m afraid.” Despite her words, she wanted this more than anything she’d ever wanted.
He sat very still, mouth still warm at her breast, but still, as if waiting for her to make the next move.
“I’m not a whore. The nuns said only whores let men in down there before marriage. Even then women must be careful not to enjoy it. Such a sin. Sex was meant to make babies, certainly not to create joy.”
He dragged in a breath, let it out. So warm and sweet against her flesh. “My poor Tyra. My sweet, sweet girl. You could never be a whore. We are meant for each other. But I will not do anything you don’t want.”
His tongue moved away from the nipple, and he rested his head there, kept her close, his arms taking complete charge of her body like they were two pieces fit tightly together. “Relax, it’s okay. God, you’re lovely. How old are you, Tyra?”
“Soon eighteen, sir, and old enough to marry and have children. It is time I threw away such nonsense. You are the man I wish to give myself to, and to hell with the nuns, every last one of them.”
He chuckled, moved back to give her breast a hot kiss. “Oh, Tyra. You are the maverick James Lee said you were.”
“Please do not mention him. Whatever I am, I want it in me, right now. Please. I think I’m…oh, my.” She guided him, took him deep, and cried out, her insides flared with pain.
He spread the flat of his hand on her butt and with two thrusts hollered like a banshee and hugged her up tight. Had she done something wrong? It had hurt, granted, the way she expected, maybe a bit worse. But had it hurt him too?
“Honey. Zach? What’s wrong?”
He laid his head on her shoulder, shuddered, and squeezed her so hard she couldn’t breathe. It was a moment before he could speak.
“I’m such a dumbass. I wanted it to go on forever, and I just let fly and blew it all. I’m sorry. Did it hurt too much?” He coughed and spat water he’d sucked into his lungs.
“No, no, it’s okay. You’re not a dumbass. I’m sorry you couldn’t do whatever it is men do. Maybe next time. Is it supposed to hurt?”
“No, oh, no. Just the first time. You see, there’s a mem…never mind. It’s like a gate that has to be broken down. Then after that it will feel good. I promise.” He hugged her and laughed. “I did exactly what men do, only I did it too quick. Just being so close to you, touching you, kissing all your beautiful parts, hell, I just let fly all at once. That’s not the way it should be. We should take our time pleasing each other. Touching all our body parts. Kissing them. Next time I’ll show you.”
“That would be good, I guess. Though I rather enjoyed all the pleasuring we did before, well, before it was a bit like being branded. Then you hollered like that. But how will you keep from letting fly all at once?”
He laughed so hard tears popped from beneath his lids. “Damned if I know. You are so goddamned gorgeous. And warm. And you taste like…hell, I don’t know what. You’re just the kind of woman I’ve never had. So I’m not quite sure how to do things with you.”
“Well, then, that makes two of us, doesn’t it? ’Cause I sure don’t know how to do things.”
He pulled her close, tucked her head against his shoulder. “I promis
e, sweetheart, that I will never hurt you any more than that right there. And that won’t happen again, either.” He kissed her forehead, then tilted her chin up and kissed her mouth, long and gentle until she all but collapsed in his arms. “Next time I’ll do better.”
“We could try again, if you’d like. And I can do better too.”
“We will, sweetness. But not tonight. I’ll hold you close, though, and we’ll sleep all tangled together like the roots of a manzanita bush.”
“That sounds wonderful. I’ll get my clothes.”
She ran across the gravelly dirt, grabbed her clothing, and scurried behind some bushes to dress. Through a gap she peered out to see him coming out of the pool. Lord, he was beautiful emerging naked from the crystalline water that shimmered in the starlight. Legs long and muscular, belly flat, shoulders and chest broad, arms well developed, his thing hidden in the mat of hair, sandy to match the unruly mop on his head.
This was the man she wanted. He was kind, gentle with her, laughed a lot, and knew how to make her feel like she was flying through space unable to catch her breath. He was also a match for her temper. Best of all, he’d forgiven her for shooting him. Who could ask for more in a man? Gone was her vow to never tie herself to a man.
Hand in hand they walked to the camp, lay down together, and tangled their arms and legs together.
When she and Zach awoke the next morning Josh had killed three prairie hens and found enough brush somewhere during his hunting trek to start a fire. He had the birds plucked, skinned, and on a spit by the time they unwound their limbs, dressed, and emerged from their hideaway in the trees. If he noticed anything different about the two of them, he didn’t mention it. Surely she was glowing.
She licked grease off her fingers, tossed bones from the small bird, and lifted the tin cup to blow and sip her coffee. Gathered around the fire, Zach, Josh, and the two boys finished off their breakfast, all chatting and laughing, when from out of the trees a woman stumbled into camp. Her wrists were bound behind her, the top of her dress hung down around her hips and blood ran from a cut on her cheek. Without a word, she collapsed before either of the men could reach her.
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