by J. K. Coi
It didn’t help. The house still felt empty, abandoned. She stood in the doorway of her father’s bedroom. The bed was bare, and the drapes had been drawn tight. Even her father’s dresser had been cleared of all the stuff he usually piled up on there, like boxing gloves, photos, and cologne, as if he didn’t expect to be back. Was this her father’s not-so-subtle way of preparing her for the worst? Did he think that if he died there’d be less for her to do if his room had already been stripped clean?
She smothered a sob with a hand over her mouth and turned out the light. Down the hall in her own room, she picked up the phone and called the hospital. The phone rang four times, then five. She was about to give up and run out to the car to race over there and find out what was wrong, when he finally answered.
“Dad?”
“Hey,” he said. “What do you want?”
She winced at the abrupt edge to his thin voice. I want to see you. I want to hold your hand through this. I want you to remember how much I need you and love you. “Oh, well I thought… I wanted to ask how your treatment went today. How are you feeling?”
“Didn’t I tell you this morning that I was fine? You didn’t have to call again.”
Tears clogged her throat. “Dad, I just—”
“I have to go. The nurse is bringing dinner in now.” There was nothing else for such a long moment that April thought he’d simply hung up on her, until finally he said, “Good night, April.”
She waited with baited breath, but this time the line had gone dead. “Good night, Dad,” she whispered.
When the doorbell rang promptly at eight, she’d pulled herself together. Did being on time mean that Nolan was as anxious about tonight as she was?
She spared a final look in the full-length mirror hanging from the back of her bedroom door and took a deep breath. She hadn’t felt this nervous since she and Jeremy had gone to that fancy Italian place uptown.
For the hundredth time, she wondered if agreeing to this had been a mistake.
The bell rang again, and she swore. Too late to back out, but as long as she remembered that Nolan was a successful businessman who was headed for great things, and she was just a bodyguard—his bodyguard—she’d be able to get through one night, and she would just have to re-establish their professional boundaries in the morning.
She hastened down the stairs as quickly as she could in the two-inch heels she hadn’t had any other occasion to wear in over a year.
Her breath caught as she pulled the door open to greet him. “Uh, hi.”
For the life of her, she couldn’t come up with anything else.
It was a gorgeous late-spring evening. Presumably, the stars glittered in the cloudless sky overhead, and if she could breathe, she’d be filled with the scent of daffodils and white magnolias from the neighbor’s garden. But the sight of him stripped away everything, even her reason. She struggled to remember her own name as she took him in. The sexy grin. The fresh shave. The devastating breadth of his shoulders in a perfectly cut tuxedo. And the limousine parked at the curb behind him.
She was completely out of her league. The garter holding up her stockings felt old-fashioned. She felt the straps against her legs like they were made of iron. The dress itself was beautiful, and she had no doubt that it looked great on her…which suddenly made her feel like a fraud. Nolan looked completely natural all dressed up, but she’d been practicing walking in these shoes for an hour before getting dressed, just to make sure she wouldn’t trip over herself and embarrass him. She’d even debated wearing a pair of ballet flats instead, weighing her responsibility as his bodyguard with her desire to look like she belonged on his arm.
The heels had won out only because her boss Nora had assured her there was going to be enough backup at the event tonight, so she shouldn’t have to do any running even if something did happen.
He didn’t say anything right away. His appreciative gaze ran the length of her slowly, as if he wanted to savor the moment. Her whole body tightened in response, from her nipples to her core. Finally, he gazed into her eyes and the sparks bouncing back and forth between them only intensified. “Hi, yourself. You look amazing,” he said with the most sincerity she’d ever heard out of him.
She only realized he’d kept one hand behind his back when he pulled it out to hand her the single white rose. She’d never received one before. She loved it. White was simple, clean, and perfect, without the drama of a red rose. “Thank you,” she whispered.
He held out his arm.
She turned to grab her clutch and lock the door behind her, then let him lead her down the walk. She giggled as John got out of the driver’s seat of the limo and came around to open the door for them, with a deadpan look on his face.
“What’s so funny?” He threw her a bemused look, which only made her giggle harder as she slid onto the buttery leather seat.
She waited until he’d followed her in and the door closed. The glass divider between the front and back seats was already in place, so they were basically alone. The car was huge, but Nolan didn’t give her any space. Instead of sitting on the bench opposite her, he sat right beside her so their thighs touched.
“This reminds me a little too much of my senior prom.” She looked around and grinned. “But you’re not Tommy Morrison, and I’m not wearing yards of poufy pink chiffon and an orchid wrist corsage the size of my forearm.”
He laid his arm across the back of the seat and smiled. “Somehow, I can’t envision either the boxing spitfire April Porter, or the investigative genius April Porter, decked out in pink chiffon.” He snapped his fingers. “And I also can’t believe I forgot to pick up a corsage.”
She laughed and let herself relax into the seats. “That’s not a sight anyone is ever going to see,” she said. “Only my father has a copy of those photos, and I’ve been assured that they’re locked up tight against the light of day.”
Her hand clenched in her lap as she mentioned Dad. Nolan noticed. God, he noticed everything. “How is your father?” he asked.
“Fine. He’s doing fine.” She plastered on a smile and changed the subject. “So, who did you go to the prom with?”
A moment of disappointment flashed across his face, but it was gone before she could even be sure that’s what she saw. “I didn’t go at all,” he admitted with a casual shrug.
“Don’t tell me a guy who looks this hot in a suit couldn’t get a date?”
“There wasn’t always so much of this.” He showed off a cheeky flex of his bicep. “I was a pretty hard-core math geek once, remember?” He was still smiling, but the smile no longer went to his eyes. “Besides, my birthday was right around that time, and…” He trailed off and glanced over her shoulder out the window.
A lightbulb suddenly went on. “Oh, jeez,” she said with a gasp. “That’s about the same time your father…”
“Killed himself,” he finished in a stone-cold voice. “In the house. With my birthday party going on right downstairs. In the circumstances, it seemed in poor taste to attend the prom a week later.”
She put her hand on his arm. “I’m so sorry.”
“It was a long time ago.”
Maybe, but she knew well that time could never completely heal those kinds of wounds.
Her mother’s death hadn’t been as dramatic or public, but it had been tragic all the same, and it had shaken her to the core. April was still haunted by those final days, by the gaunt shell that her lively, beautiful mother had become at the end. And she regretted all the things she’d never gotten to say, and all the things they’d never do together.
Thinking about it now made her angry with her father for pushing her away when they needed all the time they could get with one another.
“Wait a minute.” She paused to connect the dots as she recalled the news stories she’d been reading yesterday about the incident and looked up at Nolan. “That means your birthday is…”
“Next week,” he admitted with a clenched jaw. “But it’s
not really something I go out of my way to acknowledge these days.”
They spent a few moments in silence after that. The backseat of the limo seemed to get smaller as both of their pasts piled on in to join the party.
“Well,” he said with a wince and a chuckle. “This is a sorry start to our first date.”
The fact that he was calling it a “first” date unnerved her. She’d pretty much convinced herself that this was a one-off fueled by curiosity on both their parts, and when she could think about it in those terms, she’d still felt safe and in control.
In fact, she’d been expecting him to lay a practiced seduction technique on her pretty quick, proving he thought of her the same as all his other women, but so far he’d been a complete gentleman.
“So tonight…why did your mother decide to combine your father’s memorial with a charity event?” she asked, clasping her hands in her lap to keep them to herself. The temptation of Nolan’s proximity was so distracting she could barely focus on the conversation.
He nodded. “She’s on the board for the organization, and she hated the idea of anyone patting her hand and whispering false condolences on the anniversary of my father’s death. She decided to turn it into something productive instead.”
“That’s a wonderful way to approach it. From what I read today, this thing is going to be the event of the season. You must be proud of her.” April had spent the afternoon reviewing the in-house security arrangements with the venue staff and making plans to beef it up where necessary, to keep Nolan safe. It had relieved her mind to learn that everything was already very organized. “Your family went through a lot, but she sounds like an amazingly strong, resilient woman.” Like you, she wanted to add, but that would have betrayed just how much she’d been thinking about him beyond what a bodyguard should think about her client.
She winced. He hesitated so long that she was sure she’d stepped over the line. He’d made it more than clear that he didn’t like to discuss his personal life, and asking after one’s mother was definitely venturing into personal territory.
“It’s okay, I didn’t mean to pry. I respect your boundaries, and I would never—”
“After my father’s death, my mother retreated from the city and all the social connections she had here. It was too painful for her to face those people, and it took a long time before she wanted to return. But now that she finally has, she refuses to hide from our past. Instead, she wants to use what happened to help others with similar problems.”
“You’re very lucky to have someone like her as a role model,” April murmured, her throat tight as she thought of her own mother.
“She and my sister are the reason I started Optimus Inc. with Harrison.” She was struck numb by the tenderness that crept into his smile when he spoke of his family. He obviously had a soft spot that couldn’t be diluted by his typical insouciance, and she found it endearing and completely irresistible.
She cleared her throat. “Your family lost a lot. A husband, a father, a provider.”
“It was hard on them,” he admitted, glancing out the dark tinted windows.
Her heart squeezed. It was hard on you.
She wondered if he realized that she could see the reflection of his solemn expression in the window; that his carefree, impudent mask had slipped to reveal the pain he still carried with him. “You wanted to help your family get back their security and their pride.”
He turned back to her. “Yes, but mostly I just couldn’t stand the looks of pity from people who’d pretended to be our friends. I couldn’t stand being labeled and ashamed of something I had no control over, so I resolved to make sure they could never pity me again.”
“Well, you’ve definitely managed to turn all that around. The press loves you, and your family is climbing back to the top of that social ladder.” All he needed was a stunning, equally connected wife.
His mouth thinned. “And I refuse to let anything happen to jeopardize that.”
She shook off her disappointment. He hadn’t seemed like the type to find wealth and social status so important, but after spending the last two days together, she understood why they would be. The playboy persona was just a mask—and not a very good one for anyone who’d spent even a few hours with him. Nolan assumed responsibility for his family at an early age, and he would never fail them, because he cared…and she thought he probably couldn’t bear the thought of being likened to his father.
His inflexible position regarding the situation with the anonymous threats made more sense now, too. Nolan hated for anyone to have control over any part of his life. The fact that he’d let her intervene as much as he had was actually pretty surprising. She had a feeling that determination came from the same place as his resolute desire to master the art of boxing as well.
She’d been wrong before. Except for the fact that they were both accomplished and connected, Nolan wasn’t anything like Jeremy. Yes, he was from that world, and yes, he was charming. He was flirtatious. But those traits were backed by a genuineness that her ex had lacked. Behind Nolan’s playboy antics was a deeply motivated man.
No, he might not be like Jeremy, but his drive and ambition made him even more untouchable to someone like her, because Nolan was headed for great things, and if he did finally settle down, he was going to need someone who could play the game just as well as he did. April knew she was not that person.
The car slowed, and April looked out the window. “We’re here,” she said. The event was being held at the Met.
She shifted to the seat closer to the front and tapped on the glass. It slowly slid open, and John twisted around in the passenger seat to grin at her. “What can I do for you, ma’am?”
She reached through and punched him on the arm. “First of all, you can quit ma’aming me.” She turned serious. “Everything’s in place?”
He tapped his ear, indicating that Nora was on point at the other end. April was also wearing a mic and an earpiece, but in order to maintain a semblance of privacy, she wasn’t being patched into the main feed. Nora would be able to hear everything she was saying, but April would only get an earful if there was a security emergency.
“Two of our guys are making extra rounds at all the entrances, as per your suggestion,” said John. “And there’ll be another three inside on the floor, including me.”
That had been the original plan, but she was glad to have confirmation. “Good. That should be enough.”
He nodded and turned to Nolan. “Sir, please remain in the vehicle until we give the all clear.”
The window closed again. “Are you sure all this is necessary?” Nolan asked.
“Given the rapid escalation of the incidences of violence against you, we need to take greater precautions when you’re out in public.”
“But this is a pretty busy place. Only a nutcase is going to try something in a room full of people, at a charity event no less.”
She raised her brows. “And you think we’re not dealing with a crazy person because…?”
He laughed. “I guess you have a point.”
“The museum has good security, but I identified a few weaknesses in their program and just want to make sure everything gets covered properly. We can’t afford to be lax,” she reminded him.
He reached out and pulled her back across the space to the seat right beside him. His arm slipped around her waist, and suddenly the shadowy car seemed as intimate as a darkened hotel room. She’d been focused on his safety only a moment ago, but now his mouth was a mere inch from hers, and she couldn’t think of anything else.
“I love when you talk security to me,” he murmured in a low voice, making her stomach flutter.
A day after meeting Nolan, she knew. She knew she was in trouble. It was crazy how much he affected her.
She couldn’t deny the spark between them, but neither could she ever forget that they were completely wrong for each other. Even if their jobs, their position, and their futures weren’t in conflict, ne
ither of them were ready for a relationship. Nolan was focused on his company, and she needed to focus on her father. Tonight was just business.
Chapter Nine
When April had opened her door to him, he’d experienced a moment of true speechlessness; and Nolan always had something to say…usually something antagonizing or provoking. This time, though, he hadn’t been able to bring himself to say anything but the absolute, unvarnished truth. She was gorgeous, and he’d wanted her to know it.
She still hadn’t let her hair down, even for an evening like this. That was the first thing he’d noticed. The high, sleek bun only gave her the timeless beauty of Grace Kelly and exaggerated the stubborn tilt of her chin and the fire in her eyes. The dress she’d bought was a perfect choice. It was understated but cut to highlight every curve. She’d put on just a hint of makeup, enough to add some smoke and mystery to her already striking features. A powerful combination that left him dizzy with lust, which might prove to be awkward when they danced…and they would dance. He’d have it no other way.
The crowd was thickest near the entrance, and even as he put his arm around April to shield her, she shifted to put herself directly between him and everyone who looked as if they might be approaching them.
He could have told her that none of these people were dangerous. These were the people he’d grown up with. Silly, rich, bored. They were here tonight, and they would be at the next event tomorrow, and the one after that, because there was nothing of actual substance to their social butterfly lives.
As a teenager, Steve had imagined that adulthood would consist of party after party, with the occasional business lunch thrown in, and an endless string of beautiful women. It had seemed reasonable to assume given the example provided by his father, who had thrived in just this kind of environment. But then everything had fallen apart, and the same men who’d played golf with Robert Nolan, drank with Robert Nolan, and worked with Robert Nolan, had started talking about how they’d always known he was unstable and it was no surprise that he couldn’t manage his own company. They’d told their wives not to invite his wife to their homes and told their children not to play with his son and daughter. The man who’d never spent an evening alone in life had been lowered into the ground with less than fifteen mourners at his funeral, including his devastated family.