by Robyn Carr
“I’m not listening to you,” she said. “What I want to come away with, besides a good time, is what they’re growing and entering in competition or putting on exhibit. I want to know the names of the most well-known organic farms and where they’re shipping their fruits and vegetables. I want pictures. I want details.” Then she grinned. “And I want chili, corn dogs, candy floss, popcorn, barbecue and I want to hear some good, live country music.”
Colin looked over her head at Denny. “She’s going to throw up on the Ferris wheel.”
Colin didn’t have compelling reasons for tagging along on the state fair run, however he was leaving soon and didn’t feel like being away from Jilly. And, also because he would soon be gone, he wanted to make her happy while he could. Even the promise of the art exhibit didn’t sway him much, though it should have—it was most impressive and took several hours of his first day there.
However, he was immediately so glad he hadn’t let himself miss this, and not because of the fair, but because of what the fair did to Jilly. It was like taking a little girl in a grown-up costume out on the town. She was animated, fascinated, enthralled. Her face would light up when she saw something unexpected or surprising, and absolutely everything seemed to fill her with awe and delight. The prizewinning hogs made her gasp and laugh; the biggest bull on the property had her peeking out from behind Colin. She almost lost it when Denny, a decorated Marine Corps sharpshooter, couldn’t sink a moving tin duck to win a stuffed toy.
Colin snapped a few pictures of fruit and vegetable displays for her, but then marveled at the focused and engaged way she interviewed those growers she was lucky enough to meet. She had a million questions ranging from business licenses to best markets; sometimes she took notes in her little notebook, but other times she was just thoroughly engaged, listening raptly. That might have been his favorite part, watching her do that.
But no, his favorite part had to be her runaway laughter! If something caught her humor, she let it all go and laughed and giggled like a girl. Her happiness was not only infectious but mesmerizing. It truly glowed from somewhere deep inside her; pure joy lit her up. Her glee while she stomped her foot, clapped her hands and shouted during a square dancing demonstration was like a runaway train. She was pure child; complete woman.
Then again, watching her concentrate was pretty powerful to him, the way her forehead wrinkled a little bit between her pretty brows, the way she would breathe through her slightly parted lips, completely absorbed.
There were other things that held him hostage. He loved holding her hand as they walked from event to event. Listening to her sing along with the band as they danced under the stars late at night; she was slightly off-key, which seemed perfect. She continually pointed things and people out to him and he was always surprised by her perception. “See that couple over there? She has on a gray tank top and he’s wearing a bright red T-shirt and cowboy hat. They had a fight about something on the way to the fair—they’re miserable.”
“Aw, look at the young lovers! Can’t you tell they’re completely full of each other?”
He was completely full of Jilly.
He felt a nagging urge to call his married brothers and ask, “Is this it? Is it the real thing when you can’t stand to have her out of your sight? Or even four feet away?” He wouldn’t, of course. He wasn’t prepared for the answer. He had a feeling he was going to find out just how real this thing he had with Jilly was when he left her. He thought it might have the impact of a sledgehammer between his eyes.
But he knew he’d have to go, experience his personal truth, or he’d forever wonder.
“When I was a little girl, the state fair was a magic place for me and Kelly,” she said, telling him about their first day there. “It was out of our reach when we were little, so it was like a fantasy that the other kids talked about but we believed we might never experience. We had it so built up in our heads that by the time we finally made it to the fair, it was like a dream that came to life. Colin, thank you for doing this with me. I think you’re part of the reason the magic was recreated for me. It’s only the third time I’ve ever been to the fair and the best one I’ve ever had.”
“And when you went to the fair as a teenager, did you find a boy to hold your hand, buy you corn dogs until your stomach hurt, dance in the dirt to a country-western band and take you back to the hotel and make love to you for hours?”
“No,” she said with a laugh.
“Then the magic of the fair is just beginning, Jilly.”
It was nine o’clock the following evening before they finally started that five-hour drive home. Denny insisted she take the front seat beside Colin; he was going to nod off in the backseat anyway.
“I hope you got the phone number from that pretty girl you were dancing with,” she told Denny as they all climbed in.
“I have all the phone numbers,” Denny reported.
“I hope you can remember who goes with them,” Colin said with a laugh.
And not long after that brief conversation, Denny was snoring in the backseat and Jilly’s head rested on Colin’s thigh while she slept. Every few moments his hand would drop to her head to run through her silky hair or to her shoulder to caress her arm.
He never so much as yawned. He was determined to get his precious cargo home safely.
Jillian learned a great deal from the internet and from the people she had met at the state fair. There was work to do, work that required organization. While she continued to bring in a plentiful harvest through the month of August, she also registered a trademark, applied for a business license and filled out forms to be approved by the Department of Agriculture county branch. Maybe she couldn’t zero in on her specialty market this week or this month, but she could begin to develop her reputation.
During that late summer when the weather was hot and steamy, she spent many nights with Colin in his little rented cabin along the creek. That wonderful old Victorian she’d just purchased didn’t have central air-conditioning. The cabin, buried under the tall trees in the forest was cool. There were such wonderful sounds deep in the woods from the calling of birds, a quack or a honk from a Canada goose, not to mention the rippling of the brook over the stones. She loved her big house, but she also loved his little cabin, the first place they’d ever had a full night together. She liked the mornings sitting in his doorway, watching and hearing the forest come alive at dawn, frequently observing wildlife visit the creek for a drink. It was a magical place. In fact, it seemed like everywhere she went around this area was filled with dreams. Fantasies. Unimaginable beauty.
While Denny continued to tend and harvest, Jillian registered her trademark—Jilly Farms. All natural, all organic, all delicious. All sentimental. No one but Colin had ever called her Jilly.
It was as much because of Colin as her own personal and business needs that she was so glad she wouldn’t be making a territorial change right now. It was as if leaving the Victorian was as hard as having him travel to Africa—she wanted that sunroom there in case he came home to paint. She put a healthy sum down on the property and the bank approved her loan immediately. She owned Jilly Farms.
All this made her late summer extremely busy. She had paperwork to file to allow her to sell her produce, appointments with an inspector from the Department of Agriculture and loads of produce to harvest from her garden. Since she owned the property, she was ready to get another large garden plot cleared, mulched and ready before the winter cold. She started early and worked hard all day, keeping lists of things she had to do in preparation for a season change, and for this she was so grateful. It kept her mind off the fact that in just two weeks Colin would be leaving.
“I have a surprise for you,” Colin said. “I stopped by Luke’s today and there was a letter for me. The eagle and the buck sold—Shiloh sent me twelve hundred dollars.”
“Oh my God!” she said. “That means they sold for twenty-four hundred!”
“The eagle for eighteen a
nd the buck for six. The point is, they sold. I’m pretty surprised.”
“You shouldn’t be, Colin. They’re awesome. You’re awesome.”
“My fan club,” he said, kissing her nose. “There’s a lot going on for both of us right now. You’re busy with the farm. I have Riordans coming to Virgin River for a gathering before I go. I know this transition with the farm, getting inspected and licensed, demands your time and attention. You’re under no obligation to take time off for their visit.”
“I want to be busy. I’m trying very hard not to do a countdown in my head. But of course I want to see your family. Who’s coming?”
“Everyone but Patrick—he’s spending another three months in the Gulf. I’m not real keen on this—I’d rather have a quiet couple of weeks with you, but this was the price of convincing my mother and George they’d cramp my style by heading for Africa, too.”
She grinned largely, shaking her head. “I love that woman. Nothing intimidates her.”
“Tell me about it. And Jilly, I’m selling the Jeep. I ran an ad. If it doesn’t move before I leave, Luke will take care of it.”
Her heart plummeted. “Of course,” she said very softly. This was something she hadn’t even considered, yet she should have. It was a very expensive late-model Jeep Rubicon. Why would he keep it if he wasn’t coming back permanently? If he was only coming back for brief visits? Yet for some reason, selling his vehicle felt so final, so resolute. He was really leaving for another continent, for another life, for at least six months. And if his trip proved successful, it would be for much longer. If there was any doubt about that, he’d probably store the Jeep with her or his brother. “Yes, I suppose you would have to. If Luke’s too busy, I could take care of that for you.”
“He doesn’t mind. I have a favor to ask.”
“Sure.”
“I’d like to pack up the cabin,” he said. “I don’t have much there anymore—it all seems to move over here anyway. Would you let me stay here until I leave? I could clear out now and have that behind me. Luke will store everything I’m not taking with me.”
“Or… You could leave your stuff here. I have three floors, five bedrooms and an office.” She laughed lightly. “I knew there was a reason I wanted to buy this place.”
He smiled but shook his head. “It’s okay. He’s got it.”
“Colin, are you declining my offer to store your things in case my life changes while you’re gone? Or in case yours does. So we’re not obligated?”
“Not really,” he said. “But we know that could happen.”
She shook her head. “I suppose. But not for quite a while. It’s more likely your life will change and six months will turn into six years.”
“Not without seeing you, Jilly. I promise. The longest it will be before I visit you is six months. Unless…”
“I know,” she said. “Unless I tell you otherwise, but I still believe it would more likely be you telling me otherwise.”
“I have something for you. Stay here in the kitchen and I’ll be right back.”
Jillian took a lot of deep breaths. She’d almost lost it at the mention of the Jeep, the packing up of the cabin, the fact that this was, indeed, coming to a close. She hoped she could hold it together; she didn’t want to send him off thinking only of herself. Truly, in her heart, she wanted him to find everything in his world that brought him a sense of fulfillment and happiness. She didn’t want the man she loved to feel a sense of loss. He deserved to have his life back.
And she deserved to have a man who felt he had everything important in his life, including her.
But she was doomed to tears. And she dreaded that. It would weaken them both just when they needed to be strong and resolute.
He came back carrying two covered canvases. She recognized the size and covers; these paintings had been covered and turned toward the wall at his cabin. He pulled out two kitchen chairs and propped the canvases on them for viewing. He pulled off the covers to reveal two paintings that were now framed in black frames with gold piping. Both paintings featured the same subject: a nude gardener in two different poses.
She covered her mouth and couldn’t keep the tears from gathering in her eyes. They were exquisite. “Colin,” she nearly squeaked.
“I think they should go in your bedroom, but of course you’re the final word on that. Wherever you want them, I’ll hang them for you.”
She reached out a hand toward them, not really wanting to touch them but so much wanting to feel them. She had suspected he was painting something for her since he wouldn’t let her see them, but she had expected more wildlife. These were not only personal, but simply stunning.
“The bedroom,” she said in a breath. “Of course the bedroom.”
“I’ll hang them tonight. And then we can go to the cabin if you…”
“I want to sleep under them. We can go to the cabin tomorrow night. Colin, you couldn’t possibly have given me anything I would love more.”
Luke was host for the gathering of the Riordan clan during the third weekend in August. By the time the big motor coach pulled into the cabin compound, the small RV park behind the cabins was complete. There was now plumbing and electric hookup available. Maureen and George were able to christen the new addition with their RV. There was still some cosmetic work to be done; Luke planned to do some planting around the individual walk-ways and patios next spring. But it was clean, functional and ready.
“Perfect,” George said.
“Fantastic!” Maureen announced. “We could stay here for months!”
“That would be wonderful,” Shelby exclaimed.
“Why don’t you just shoot me,” Luke muttered to Colin.
“No good deed shall go unpunished,” Colin replied with a laugh.
Luke was impressed as he watched Jillian; she was in good humor, laughed easily, glowed when Colin as much as looked at her. She lavished her stunning vegetables on everyone and the first day of the gathering Maureen immediately commandeered Shelby’s kitchen to prepare as much as she could. Jillian seemed to swell with pride at Maureen’s praise of her garden.
Luke knew that neither Colin nor Jillian would be prepared for the extended family that would show up to wish Colin well. Shelby’s Uncle Walt and his girlfriend, Muriel, were present for a big barbecue on Saturday, along with the Haggerty clan, George’s protégé and the town minister, Noah Kincaid and his family. Franci’s mother and her boyfriend drove over from Eureka and yet another reunion took place. Jillian brought baskets of freshly harvested vegetables every day; no one went away empty-handed.
Luke was completely impressed by her spirit and generosity. He thought, for the hundredth time, that Colin was a damn fool to leave her.
I just have to get through the next week, Jillian kept thinking. Just one more week of being positive, wishing him everything good on his journey, and then if she had to cry when he was gone it wouldn’t hurt anything. But Jill was just a little afraid that her throat would ache and her eyes would sting for the rest of her life from the strain of holding back emotion.
Eighteen
The end of August remained warm and sunny, which continued to nurture Jill’s gardens. Her melons were coming in large and strong and the pumpkins were so beautiful that she began to plan a pumpkin patch giveaway. She decided she’d put up notices in the bar and church for local families to come out and pick their own pumpkins, free, for Halloween. She’d get Denny’s help to decorate the house and yard. The leaves would begin to turn in a couple of weeks, and there was a feeling of fall in the mountain air as September approached. There was plenty of occasional light rain and the only tending needed was a bit of weeding and harvesting. If one thing had been made perfectly clear in six months of gardening, it was that she could grow fantastic produce. Her business license was granted, her trademark registered, and the county commissioner of agriculture assured her that her crop met all the standards and her registration would be approved.
Colin pac
ked up and shipped to Sedona those few paintings he had completed since meeting Shiloh Tahoma. Shiloh had sent another check and was happy to hang whatever new work Colin sent him. Additionally, Colin sent a very nice wedding gift to Clay and Lilly Tahoma—in part gratitude for making that connection for him.
Then, too soon, the day came. Jill was more than willing to drive Colin all the way to San Francisco for his flight, but he had made other arrangements. Luke would drive him to an airport shuttle pickup in Fortuna. “I want to say goodbye to you, leave you on your back porch and go. Even though we both know this is how it should be, I don’t expect either one of us is going to like it too much. Especially the morning we say goodbye.”
When they had their last night together, Colin’s large duffel and camera case packed and ready, Jill took herself to a remote place in her mind. She thought about the pure happiness she’d had for months and it brought her comfort. She thought about the hundreds of thousands of soldiers who had left their families to go to faraway lands where they’d be willing to risk their lives for their homeland. Surely this could not be as difficult.
She concentrated on Colin. They made sweet, slow love and she wondered how she would endure without this in her life; she wondered how long she would have to make do without it. Then they rested, curled around each other. She didn’t sleep and suspected he didn’t, either. In the morning they shared the shower and one last and more frantic coupling. As he was emptying himself inside her, her legs around his waist and his lips against her neck, he whispered, “I don’t know how I’ll manage even a day without you.”
Any other woman would have taken that moment to say, Don’t go! Don’t go! Let me be what you need! Stay with me!
Not Jill. “You’ll have to manage,” she whispered back. “You’re going to renew your strength, to get your life back. You’ll send me wonderful pictures. And you’ll come to see me when you can.” Then she sighed and added with a whisper, “I’ll be right here.”