by LoRee Peery
The scent of Gregg’s cedar aftershave lingered in the bedroom.
Gregg didn’t own anything to clutter the tops of furniture. Family photos, which included Kameron’s high school senior shot, one of a beaming Samantha, one of Teresa with Samantha’s dad, and another of Teresa with Gregg, were the only objects on the antique chest of drawers, besides a dish to hold change and keys.
One of two small drawers held an unused leather wallet, an old watch with a broken crystal, and surprise: handkerchiefs. Kameron pulled out the twin drawer.
An envelope with his name scrawled on the top, dog tags, an extra set of car and house keys, and a tiny maroon envelope holding a key to a safety deposit box occupied the space. He pinched a strange jewelry piece that maybe Hayley could identify. He took the envelope over to the bed, and plopped.
My Dear Kameron,
If you only knew how much God loves you…but you’ve heard it all before and know what you need to do.
A long time ago, I gave you a piece of jewelry along with your first car keys. That chain is a cherished possession, meant to match a double locket. My great-grandfather had the pieces especially designed by a watchmaker in Germany.
When I met Hayley, I recognized the necklace she wears as one I gave her grandmother, Kathleen, and began to pray for Hayley daily. God works in ways that none of us will ever understand. You see, I met and loved a girl named Kathleen. We went to high school together in Ohio. (She has to be Hayley’s grandmother.) I went off to ‘Nam, and though we shared our grandparents’ trinkets, we parted ways.
I have no idea what brought Hayley’s mother to Edgewood, Nebraska. I knew as soon as we met, God put me here for the two of you. Hayley looks too much like Kathleen for it to be a mistake.
This other interesting piece of jewelry belonged to Kathleen’s mother. She left it in my car the night before I was deployed. Give it to Hayley. One last thing…
Nothing happens by chance. God covers everything that touches our lives. Never believe that time heals wounds. God heals wounds.
I pray to see you in heaven one day,
Love,
Gregg
Surprisingly calm, Kameron folded up the letter meant for him after Gregg passed away. The paper slid easily into the envelope. Back at the dresser drawer, Kameron picked up the trinket. A small chain with the same half-heart clasp as the other jewelry obviously hooked somewhere, maybe a belt. Decorated with two whitish stones, possibly opals, the ornate shiny gold piece opened to form a clamp meant to hold an unknown object.
He dropped it inside, and shut the drawer.
Gregg believed it should be given to Hayley.
Kameron would never get anywhere with her unless he embraced her belief.
He fell in a heap on the bed, and curled into a ball. And bawled.
12
Hayley turned off the open sign, locked her front door, and shut off the inside lights. Christmas lights reflected by the window created a shadowed glow on her front displays. The best part of her day had been spent with Teresa and Samantha. They’d left the shop with Hayley’s promise to spend the evening with them.
If the situation was reversed, and it was her visiting family, she’d want to spend the last night alone without an outsider. But what did she know about family? She’d only had Mom.
Quit feeling sorry for yourself. Take advantage of an evening spent with Kameron’s family.
She’d fallen for him. Fallen for a serious, pessimistic man who saw life as hopeless because he couldn’t see his value to the Father. “Oh, Lord, I thank you for that mom who chose not to abort for reasons You alone know. Please, please, bring Kameron to saving grace. It hurts so deep to think You brought him into my life to now live nearby, if we aren’t meant to have a relationship.”
Could it be the women had asked her to spend the evening because they wanted to leave on a joyful note rather than be dragged down by Kameron’s negativity? Sometimes she’d like to shake sense into him. I wonder how many times Teresa has dealt with that same frustration?
A dog barked right outside the door. She jumped.
“Hi there, little Summer.” Winter jumped up and they were nose to nose with the door window between. Laughing, she blew Kameron a kiss. “I’ll run up for my coat and meet you at the bottom of the stairs.”
What would it take to make that man smile? Talking to Winter through the door had to have been comical.
She took a moment to slap on coral lip gloss, grabbed her outer garments, and flew down to meet the threesome.
An hour and a half later, Hayley glanced over the gleaming kitchen. Not a thing out of place. “I’ve enjoyed meeting you, Teresa, but I’m sorry it had to be due to Pastor Gregg’s close call.”
“Don’t be sorry. God has it all in His capable hands.” Teresa held out her arms. “Give me a hug, girl. I’m beyond glad to know you’re close to Kameron and are nearby for both of them. You’re a good friend.”
“Thanks for showing us around your shop. I’ll text when we get home. Mom, I’ll check the rooms once more and let the gang know what’s going on.” Samantha waltzed to the back of the couch where Kameron sat and leaned over to give him a hug from behind. “Night, you big lug. Be nice to Hayley. She’s a keeper. Take extra good care of Uncle Gregg.”
Samantha was pretty special herself. She’d slipped Hayley a note as to what to give Kameron as a present, and what item to mail home for Teresa. A pang stabbed in the area of Hayley’s heart. Family was a gift, even if it didn’t involve a blood tie.
Teresa passed through the sitting area. “Gregg’s room is as clean as can be. I’ve washed all the bedding and towels. Remember Ross and Bette Jean offered to help. Don’t be shy about asking anyone in the church.” She moved up the stairs.
“Thanks. He’s anxious to get home. I appreciate your efforts, Mom.” Kam called after her.
“Good night, you two. So glad to know you.” Hayley smiled at his mother.
The tree sat in the living room decorated in old-fashioned multicolored lights with a scattering of simple ornaments.
“Let me know when you want to take it down. I’ll help so Pastor Gregg won’t need to. His job is to heal.” Hayley sat next to Kam on the couch.
“Thanks. That would be great. Speaking of him, Gregg gave me something that involves you, along with a letter you need to read. Remind me later. I don’t want to get up yet. I just want to sit here and soak in the quiet while everyone sleeps.” Kameron closed his eyes.
She reached for his hand. At first he didn’t respond. Could he be rejecting her by not allowing her touch? She couldn’t imagine him wanting to be alone, now that they’d shared a family emergency. Did he remember that amplified kiss as often as she did?
As though he read her thoughts, his eyes opened. He turned her hand to fit in his and pulled her in to rest against his chest. He sheltered her in the embrace of his arms and kissed her on the temple. All without saying a word.
She had to. “Think about Sam’s good attitude, Kam. It is unbelievably hard to come to terms with why a parent leaves a child. I hurt for you. Look how blessed you are to still have Pastor Gregg. God has given you a second chance with him. I read Isaiah thirty this morning.”
“Here we go again.” His arms stiffened, and he released her.
“I won’t apologize. God is my Father, and I want you to turn to Him. Thank Him for providing Pastor Gregg, who loves you like a son, as your earthly daddy. You’re unsettled in your soul because you really yearn for the Lord. He’s in us, in our hearts. And it’s our job to find out more of who He is. I read that God calls us obstinate children if we don’t repent and seek salvation. I don’t know what I’d do without Him in my life.” She clammed up, having said enough.
Lord, it’s Your job to reach Him, but I just had to speak up now. I don’t think I can bear it if Kameron turns his back on You forever.
Kameron jerked awake. His left shoulder was numb, and his right hand wet. He cracke
d open an eye. Hayley lay back against his chest, lightly snuffling in her sleep. Her hair held a faint scent of pine mixed in with woman. He inhaled just as Winter gave his hand another cold swipe of the tongue, then nudged Hayley’s hand.
She woke immediately. “Hi there, big guy. Time to go out?”
The only lights came from the tree and above the stove in the kitchen.
“Way past time. Check it out, officially Christmas Eve. Mom and Sam leave in a few hours,” Kam said.
“And you’ll bring home Pastor Gregg.” Hayley moved to the side, all warm and delectable and alluring. She bounced up to turn on the kitchen light. “I’ll let the dogs out back.”
“I got it.” He yawned and stretched toward the ceiling.
Summer lay at the closed door to Gregg’s room.
Kameron whistled. “Come on, you two.”
“Hot cider or hot chocolate?”
“Cider, thanks.” He watched the dogs from the window. Winter tunneled through the new snow with his nose. Summer hopped like a rabbit to avoid contact with the cold. His heart tilted with a flutter of lightness foreign to its usual drudgery. Even if nothing came of a friendship with Hayley, he wouldn’t be lonely, staying here with Gregg. The dogs would keep him company. He let them in the house.
“They’re a blessing, you know.”
He gawked at her as she set the table. “Mugs of hot cider are a blessing?”
She swept out her hands for emphasis. “No, silly. The dogs are good to have around for company. Come have a peanut butter cookie with the chocolate candy kisses you like. What did your Mom call these?”
“How do you make everything into something good?” He dared the glide of his hand down her arm, picked up her hand, and kissed her knuckles. A spark zinged to his knees.
She shivered and looked him in the eye. “I’m trying to paint a true picture of how good God is. He’s good all the time, even when we go through bad experiences. I try to be aware of His presence. I pray, worship through singing, or Bible reading. Even working. The more time I spend with my thoughts on Him, the fuller my life is.”
He dropped her hand and sat.
Hayley took a chair. “I won’t apologize. I want you to come to long for Jesus’s presence. I pray you call out to Him, and experience the fullness of all He has available to you.”
Kameron bit off and savored the chocolate glob from the cookie top and considered his next action while he tasted the sugary treat.
Hayley had faith in him, cared enough for him to spread the hope all Christians held in Jesus. Kameron had heard it all his life. What got in the way of believing…actually, he did believe. Satan did too. Even the vilest sinner came to faith by admitting the end of self and need for Christ to come dwell within.
She laid her hand on his. “I see how you are struggling. I want to ease the hurt in your heart.”
“You’re not telling me anything new. I know what I need to do to make my life right with God. I also know we’ll never be more than friends without changing my heart. It’s between me and Him, though.”
“You are so right. I have such a big mouth I’ve already drained my mug. Did you do anything interesting today, I mean yesterday, while your mom and Samantha were with me?”
“I almost forgot. Hold that thought.” He picked up Summer from in front of the bedroom door and settled her in the small basket next to Winter, then entered Gregg’s room. It smelled fresh. His mom must have somehow added a cedar scent.
Hayley stood at the sink rinsing her mug.
“Gregg wrote me an undated letter. Said it’s for you to read, too.” He offered it to her.
She dried her hands and accepted the envelope. Emotions crossed her pretty face one after the other as she read. Curiosity, surprise, wonder. She sank against the counter. Sadness, peace. Her eyes held tears as she lifted her gaze to his.
He wiped a big teardrop from each lower lash with his thumbs. “I’d say fate. You and Gregg say God. Looks like we were meant to find each other. Here’s the weird jewelry Gregg claims is from your grandmother.”
She plucked it from the palm of his hand to examine the closure, played with the clamp. “I’ve never seen anything like it. The stones are mother of pearl. Beautiful intricate design. It obviously hooks on something, a belt maybe? The clip must hold a handkerchief or scarf. Oh, I can’t wait to look it up.”
“Speaking of which…” He lifted her chin for a deep look into her eyes. He lowered his attention to her mouth and brushed her lips with his, tempted to haul her in close. “The jewelry is interesting. And yours, now. I think I need to walk you home. You’re open in the morning, right?”
Hayley gave him a sleepy, soft nod. “It’s already morning.”
Merry Christmas, my love.
Kameron returned to toss and turn on the couch. He got up at two, turned on the light next to Gregg’s easy chair, and picked up his Bible to thumb through the random notes.
Salvation is a matter of life and death. Death to sin or eternal life in heaven. We all live eternally, why choose the torments of eternal damnation?
He wasn’t worth saving. He wasn’t meant to live. He’d come into the world in the middle of December. He was meant to freeze to death. His life was a mistake.
God doesn’t make mistakes.
OK. The jewelry. Meeting Hayley. “I want to keep her in my life, God. I don’t want to go through the rest of my life alone.”
Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.
That was a voice from the depths of his heart, not a notation on paper. A promise.
“You’ve got my attention now, Lord. I’ve been selfish, unhappy, and ungrateful. You’ve continued to love me no matter what, even saved Gregg so I’d have a chance to spend time with him. I’m a wretch. I now ask you to forgive me and to give me knowledge of You, Lord. You sent Jesus as a baby. For me. I now ask Him to enter my heart. Make me new so I can be the man You want me to be. The son. And I hope, husband. Thank You for a love that I’ll never be worthy of.”
Love. The sensation poured though him. How could he be so full, how could he handle it? Deep down in his soul, he knew. God the Father loved His children.
Kameron bit his knuckle and discovered his face was wet with tears.
He opened his blurry eyes on another quote tucked on a bookshelf. Trust that God has a plan in it. Don’t Wrestle, Just Nestle.
The words hit him right between the eyes.
Hayley nestled underneath the protective wings of heaven, rather than wrestle with God.
In contrast, Kameron had spent his whole life wrestling. What a waste. “No more wrestling, Lord. I’m Yours. You are mine. Please give me rest, to nestle, in Your munificent, loving arms. I trust You, Abba Father.”
13
Mom and Samantha were headed home. On his way from the airport to Edgewood, Kameron rehashed their stay. All good, even Sam’s reprimand. Hugging hadn’t hurt, it’d been a blessing with promises of keeping in closer contact. Teresa had cried over his salvation news.
Samantha’s parting comment tickled him the more he thought about it. “You’ve always been handsome, big brother, but now you look approachable.”
Teresa had kissed him on the cheek. “All praise to Jesus.”
He shook his head over the distraction, so easy to drive familiar streets and turns on automatic. For the first time in his life, cause of his preoccupation was attributed to the Lord’s compassion. The last busy Lincoln thoroughfare turned to snow-covered country fields in between scattered acreages. Never before had the landscape glowed as a gift of creation.
He slowed for the Edgewood speed limit. Five vehicles angled their noses toward Auntie’s Antiquities. He couldn’t remember looking forward to anything as much as spending Christmas with Hayley. They had each other, now. Time needed to fly for their planned afternoon together. He could hardly wait to share with her all he’d experienced.
How to put it into words?
Bo
rn again. A new beginning. A leaden heart no longer beat in his chest. Instead, his heart expanded beyond the barriers to welcome whatever gifts the Lord had in store. Tears of pure joy distorted TRAVIS AUTOMOTIVE painted on the garage. “Thank You, dear Lord, for Hayley’s belief in me. For Ross and Bette Jean’s offer of friendship. Thank You for the example of Gregg’s life of service to You. Help me get him home safe and sound soon. Thank you for pulling events together according to your foreknowledge.”
The car turned without giving it conscious thought. Kameron continued to talk to his greatest new Friend in the whole world. “I have no reason to ask anything of You the way I’ve ignored You over the course of my life, yet You’ve blessed me with family and the gift of fulfilling my dream to become an author. Now, show me when to go fast and when to take things at a snail’s pace regarding any future I may have with Hayley.”
The prayer ended at the same time he swung in the drive. The sun glittered and sparkled on fresh snow, so white it appeared blue. He pulled out the key, fingered the chain from Gregg, and raised his eyes to the house, his home with Gregg for as long as they both wanted.
He belonged. The small town of 549 had embraced him, and a whole new world opened up. No. The world was the same. He now viewed it from a different perspective with fresh and clear sight. He stepped on the porch, and the dogs barked in welcome. No longer alone, no longer lonely. Kameron smiled.
He froze in response to the strange sensation.
His face hadn’t cracked. How long had it been since his lips formed a smile?
He grinned, inserted the house key, and laughed as it opened.
Kameron Kohl laughed. Spread his mouth wide open. Chuckles gushed forth.
Anyone looking on would say he’d lost his senses.
God looked on and that was all that mattered. Could be Jesus smiled. The Bible claimed angels rejoiced over the repentance of lost sinners.
He couldn’t wait to see Gregg’s reaction to this new Kameron. Better show Gregg my newfound grace while he’s still in the hospital room, just in case he has another heart attack!