by Bijou Hunter
I only have one photo of my father. He’s sitting on his Harley looking as if he needs a breathalyzer test. Despite my disdain for him, the guy lived the way he wanted. He never worried about anyone’s opinion, let alone legacies. His needs were all that mattered.
I want to pick a life that ensures my happiness rather than creating a lying image as another Mooney lawman.
The only things in life that make me happy are Journey and Kitty. I think if I tried, Court and I might be better friends. We could drink beer and talk about sports. Innately distrustful of other people, I’ve never been able to enjoy male friendships.
I’m not too old to change. For Journey, I’m already different. Sex is no longer only about physical satisfaction and a fast getaway. Enjoying Journey’s body is a single part of what I need from her. Waking up next to my woman improves my mood every day. Knowing I have value to her gives me confidence in the way my family’s approval never has.
Yet.
I can’t seal the deal with Journey or quit my job or change in a meaningful way. If left to me, I’ll allow everything important to slip away.
Yet.
Even knowing I’m running out of time, I can’t pull the trigger.
I stare at the still empty road and hate myself. I need to do something. Make a choice. Show Journey what I want. Find a fucking plan and stick to it.
Needing a distraction, I’m grateful to see a text from Court.
“If you want an out with Journey, an out just showed up at the picnic.”
I read the message three times before responding. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
“We’re at a picnic at Rocky Lane Park.”
“What about Journey and an out?”
“Don’t know his name. She’s eating up his flirting. Let nature take its course and you are out. If you want to stick around, better piss a circle around your girl.”
“Are you messing with me?”
“About what?”
“About Journey?”
“How is this funny?”
Staring at the phone screen, I imagine Journey and some random guy together. The man won’t hesitate. Most men know how to take a conversion from flirting to dating. His ease at being with her will contrast to my stupid hot and cold bullshit. Journey will see what else she can have. The fucker will take my woman, and I’ll end up on the outside. Then I’ll need to decide if I’m willing to dig a shallow grave to get Journey back.
I slam the car into drive and speed toward the Rocky Lane Park located smack dab in the middle of Tumbling Rock.
Every mile sends my anger further into overdrive. Journey is my girlfriend. Everyone knows everyone’s fucking business in Tumbling Rock. This asshole is well aware he’s making a fucking move on my woman. I won’t let anyone take what I need to survive, even if I have to break the law to keep Journey.
I don’t stop at the mostly empty parking lot. The cruiser’s wheels jump the curb on my way to where a small crowd of people stands near picnic tables.
I spot Poppy first since she’s standing on a table with Matilda. Nearby, Journey leans on Otto like he’s her walker. Blinded by rage, I hit the brakes and nearly crash into a tree.
Throwing open the car door, I plan to make things very clear to the asshole and everyone else where I stand with Journey.
41 Snake Charmers
Journey
After tearing through the leaf-covered grass, Donovan’s Jeep stops precariously close to a tree. I stare shocked at his arrival while protectively holding Otto against me. Around us, people gasp, and some run away. Justice picks up Matilda and tells Court they should probably leave. Based on her overly sincere tone, I know she’s been up to no good.
My boyfriend throws open his door and exits quickly. His gaze takes in the group of people, ignoring everyone except me.
“What in the fricking heck is wrong with you?” I demand when Donovan storms toward me.
“Where is the fucker?”
“Who?” I ask, covering Otto’s ears.
“The asshole you’re flirting with.”
“In what fricking universe do I flirt?”
“Stop saying frick.”
“You best stop bossing me around and then explain to me why you showed up here like a fricking madman.”
Wearing a homicidal frown, Donovan glances around the group. He gives a death stare to a few men. I study Donovan and wonder if he’s suffering from a mental breakdown. He’s been on edge for the entire time I’ve known him, and people can only go for so long that way. If he’s lost his fricking mind, do I finally walk away or play patient nursemaid? I already know the answer before I finish asking. No matter what Donovan does, I can never say goodbye.
His pissed gaze finally lands on Court. My confused brother-in-law stares back at Donovan.
“Do you think this shit is funny?” Donovan demands.
“What shit?”
“You messaged me about the fucker making moves on Journey. Is this a fun game to you?”
“I didn’t message you.”
Donovan shoves his phone at Court, who looks at the messages. He frowns and checks his phone.
“Well, I don’t care what it says. I didn’t message you. Why the fuck would I?”
“Someone did,” Justice mutters. “Someone is framing you.”
Court and Justice scan the confused faces around us. My gaze notices Donovan focusing on me. We both wonder if he can salvage his dignity after racing over here to pry another man off of me.
“Was this you?” Justice asks Poppy.
“Don’t be dumb. I’m currently agnostic on whether these two should become one. Besides, Court keeps his phone in his back pocket, and there’s no way I’m going anywhere near his ass.”
“Well, then who the hell did it?” Justice cries.
I pry my gaze away from Donovan and sigh. “I’m coming for you, Justice. You should probably run.”
“Why me?”
I focus on my sister who retains her righteous anger for another thirty seconds before crumbling.
“I was trying to help,” she says, backing away.
“It did help. In that, the whaling I’m about to give you will assist with your personal growth.”
Justice looks to Court for assistance. Her man dutifully stands in front of me while she backs away.
“I’ll hurt you,” I warn him.
“I know, but I have to make a show of it.”
Dodging Court, I spot Justice hiding behind Poppy. My youngest sister immediately jumps out of the way.
“I want to live!” she cries, leaving Justice without a shield.
Justice tries to run away, but she’s wearing flip flops and keeps losing her balance. I let her get ahead of me by just a bit to make the chase interesting. Once she thinks she might reach her car, I take off running.
“Get her!” Otto yells, showing his son-like support while Felix screams for Justice to run faster.
I grab the belt loop on Justice’s shorts and yank her backward. She topples onto my lap, and I flip her onto her stomach.
“I’m giving you the whipping your parents were too lazy to provide.”
“They’re your parents too,” Justice says, struggling in vain to break free.
“Yeah, so I know they’re too kind to swat your meddling butt.”
“I was trying to help.”
“How? By sending Donovan into a jealous rage and making him look like an idiot? Did you think embarrassing me would help?”
“I wanted to see if he cared enough to show up and mark his claim.”
“I’m not property.”
“You want to own his heart, don’t you?”
My hand pauses mid-strike. “You didn’t prove anything. He felt challenged by Court. That’s a guy thing and has nothing to do with me.”
“False,” she says, rolling over and looking at me. “I told him if he wanted out that this was his chance. He didn’t need to race over here. The reason he came was becau
se he couldn’t deal with you wanting anyone else.”
“Of course, he doesn’t want me flirting with anyone else. That doesn’t mean we’ll work out in the long run.”
Justice sits up and crosses her legs. “I don’t know why Donovan won’t close the deal when he clearly wants you to be his.”
“He’s messed up in here,” I say, tapping my head. “He doesn’t have a clue as to how messed up he is. When he feels cornered or overwhelmed, he closes himself off and pushes everyone away.”
“You should thank me,” Justice says, crawling away while saying the words. “I’ve given him the opportunity to make his move.”
I stand up and follow a still crawling Justice. My foot aches to kick her in the butt, yet I restrain myself on the way to joining Otto. The boy sees me and frowns back at Donovan.
“I don’t like him.”
Pushing aside his long bangs, I shrug. “He doesn’t like you either. Boys are so silly that way.”
“I’m not silly.”
“You’re eight. How would you even know if you’re silly?”
Otto frowns darker. “I’d know.”
“Sure.”
“I’d know,” he says, following me now.
I turn to him and kneel down. “I need to talk to Donovan alone. You need to be cool and wait for me.”
“Tell him to leave.”
“Don’t boss me around, kid. It won’t end well for you.”
Otto crosses his arms defiantly while I walk to where Donovan paces near his car.
“Fun and games,” he mutters. “That’s how your family is. They think everything is a joke.”
“Shut up and walk with me.”
Even running hot, Donovan obeys. I feel him behind me as we walk down a path and away from the group. When I stop on a small bridge overlooking a narrow creek, Donovan wraps an arm around me.
“What do you want?” I softly ask.
“I want you.”
“Then take me.”
“Right here.”
“I don’t mean fucking. Is that what you meant by wanting me?”
“No. I love you. I want to keep you.”
“Then just keep me.”
“I think I am, but I’m clearly not.”
“How do you figure?”
“We’re stuck in the same place we were a month ago.”
“How do we get unstuck?”
Donovan tightens his arms around me. “I don’t know if I can be part of a family. Hell, I’m not sure I even want to be part of one.”
“You want me, but no part of my life,” I say through clenched teeth.
“I know that sounds like bullshit.”
Sighing, I lean against him. “It is crap, but I understand in a way. I want you, but I don’t like your house or that neighborhood or your job or your cop family.”
“I’d give that up for you. You can’t say the same for me.”
“Is that what you need for us to work?” I ask, daring him to ask the unthinkable.
Donovan steps back and looks around. “Would you leave Tumbling Rock with me? Give up your job and family and start over fresh somewhere else. We could be anyone in a new place. Would you give me that?”
“No,” I say without thinking. “I love you, but I won’t destroy myself to save you. I can’t be that kind of woman.”
“Good,” Donovan murmurs, wrapping me in his arms again and covering my mouth with his.
His affection startles me. I never seem to know what he wants from one moment to another, but the kiss blinds me to the reality of tomorrow. We’re living a comfortable lie. Nothing can interfere with our delusions as long as passion rules.
42 Snake Charmers
Donovan
Kitty needs a lift into the Jeep, but once we’re driving, he settles down next to me like a pro. I doubt he’ll be as thrilled about meeting the Earlham pets.
Hal is about the same size as Kitty. I figure if the dogs riot, mine ought to have a fighting chance. On the other hand, Hal has the cats to tussle with on a regular basis, making him a seasoned fighter.
The dogs see each other and growl instantly. They meet midway in the yard before sniffing the hell out of each other’s asses. I look at Journey who watches the dogs with interest. Christine stands next to her. I hear Justice babbling inside the house about how she’s missing the show. Poppy appears next, claiming she hopes Hal rips off my dog’s ears.
“Oh, I didn’t realize you were here,” she claims when I frown at her.
“Kitty might have long, dopey ears, but Hal has a short, smashed nose.”
“Your point being?” she challenges.
“My dog is cuter.”
“Our dog is fatter, so there.”
Once the dogs have assessed each other through ass sniffing, they agreed to an edgy peace. Poppy and Otto decide dogs are their favorite things ever. The boy isn’t thrilled to see me, but he drops to his knees to give Kitty a good rubbing.
“I like this shirt on you,” Journey says as a warning that her hands are about to ravage my chest.
“I like your shirt too,” I say reaching for her tits.
“Not in front the children.”
“Don’t be modest now, skank,” Poppy says, sitting on the grass with each dog resting their heads on her thighs. “Otto is old enough to learn about the birds and the bees.”
“No, he’s not,” Christine says before Journey can. “He’s eight.”
Poppy frowns back at her mother. “I was six when I learned.”
“You should learn to knock.”
“You should learn to lock your door.”
“We were in a hurry.”
Poppy reacts dramatically to the thought of her parents rushing to bang hips. Lots of face twitching is followed by a fake vomit. Otto watches her and then looks at Journey as if he’s surrounded by morons.
“Get used to it,” she tells him.
Otto smiles until his gaze reaches me. I know the boy and I will need to hash things out eventually. We love the same woman, and neither of us wants to share. We’ll need to accept how Journey’s heart is big enough for us both.
Once I’m satisfied Kitty won’t get ganged up on, I leave him with Poppy and Otto. I reach the door, only for Justice to block my entry.
“Holding a grudge?” she asks.
“Why would I?”
“You’re lying.”
“Yes, I am.”
“You’re not scary. I’ve lived with that for twenty-four years.”
Justice gestures at Journey, who walks past her and says, “Stop being so dramatic. He’s a big softie. Except having your car towed, he won’t do a damn thing.”
Justice looks horrified at me. “Not my car. I’ll make it up to you. I promise. Do you need any sex advice? I’ve gotten quite good in the last few months.”
“No, I’m good.”
“Please don’t tow my car,” she whispers.
“I’ll try not to, but I’m a moody guy.”
Justice doesn’t like my answer but says nothing. I follow Journey through the house, past the sleeping cats, and out the back door. We end up at a picnic table.
“Court is dealing with club crud, so there’s no one here to grill. I don’t trust any of us vaginas not to undercook the meat. Do you know how to grill?”
“Not really. I could give it a try.”
Journey glances at the grill and then back at me. “Maybe my dad can come over for dinner.”
“That would be great,” I say overly enthusiastically.
Journey grins at my tone. “The guy loves you. I had to fight him off and claim you as my own. It was a tough battle, but I won your heart.”
“That you did.”
Journey loses her smile. “What?”
“Nothing.”
“You’ve got something happening in here,” she says, tapping my forehead.
“Yeah, I do,” I say, pulling out a brochure from my back pocket. “I want to go away for a few days. This place look
s remote enough to give us privacy, but not so much that you can’t get TV reception.”
A wary Journey holds the Happy Pines Resort brochure gingerly in her hands.
“Where did you hear about this?”
“I had a 911 at a hotel yesterday. After I dealt with the problem, I found the brochure in one of those stands about local attractions. It looks interesting. They have hiking, and we both love that.”
Journey gives me a little smile, and she finally opens the brochure.
“There’s horseback riding and acorn gathering and other amazing crap we won’t do. The rooms have Jacuzzi tubs. I’ve never enjoyed your body while in a hot tub, so I’m sold. Will you go with me, so I’m not alone in a Jacuzzi with only my hand and thoughts of you?”
“I don’t know. I mean, the thought of you jacking it in a resort is pretty fricking sexy. On the other hand, I’d prefer to see that in person.”
“I’d give you a real show,” I say, tugging at her shirt and imagining what’s hiding underneath.
Journey stops fighting a smile and shrugs. “I’m not doing anything with acorns.”
“Of course not. How fucking stupid would that be? I just want to take you somewhere away from here.”
Journey studies me, and I know she’s over thinking shit. As a smart woman, she understands how this kind of trip is a big deal for a guy like me.
For once, I’m not playing it safe. Despite my big move, Journey remains wary. I even sense she believes this trip might be our end.
43 Snake Charmers
Donovan
When I arrive to pick up Journey for our weekend away, she claims she isn’t done packing. I suspect she just needs a last minute pep talk from her family. I catch sight of them huddled up in the kitchen.
The kids sit in the living room, watching me. Felix smiles awkwardly. While he knows me, it’s not well enough to make conversation. Matilda peeks over the back of the couch and stares like I’m a monster. Otto gives me an ugly look, and I think he wants to hit me.