by Ava Benton
“I’m trying to help you stay realistic,” he said with a scowl.
Damn him for still looking handsome when he scowled.
I wanted to hate him, too, but it wasn’t possible when he looked so good and sat up to make sure I was safe when I slept.
“What am I supposed to do? Get fired?”
“Can’t you just call out for the day? Tell them you’re sick.”
“What about after that? And after that? I mean, this is spinning out into the foreseeable future. Right? Nothing’s going to be resolved tomorrow or the next day or probably even next week. What happens if I have to run away?” I covered my face with my hands and wished I could keep it together, but panic gripped my chest and threatened to choke me.
The bedsprings sank when he sat beside me. They sank a lot.
His arm was warm and strong around my shoulders. “You can’t think that far into the future. Leave things to us. We’ll help you—it’s what we do.”
“I know it doesn’t look like much of a life, but it’s my life. I was proud of it, because I did it on my own.”
He placed his hand on the side of my head and guided it to his shoulder. “Everything’s going to be all right. I promise. You just have to trust that we know what we’re doing.”
“You know how to keep me alive, I guess. But you don’t know how to help me keep things the way they are. I only want things to be the way they are.”
His shoulder was firm and warm and way too comfortable under my head. How long had it been since I was able to lean on somebody? Not to mention somebody like him?
Try never.
Guys like him didn’t roll into my life. Ever.
“We’re going to do our best. And hey, even if you have to move—”
I stiffened.
“I said if,” he reminded me, “I know you’ll be able to start over. You have talent that a lot of people don’t have. I know you could find another job. Maybe even a better job. Maybe this will turn out for the best.”
“How can you say that? You don’t know what I’m going through.”
It was his turn to go stiff. “That’s what you think.” He stood with no warning and went to the window, hooking his finger around the edge of one of the curtains to check outside.
What did I say? What made him pull away like that?
I already missed the comfort of his warm body.
“I’m sorry if I said the wrong thing.”
“Sure.” The moment was over. “The coast looks clear. Get yourself ready for the day.”
“Where are we going?”
“Someplace where there’s room for me to sit down.”
The rest of Carter’s family were staying in a hotel that made my apartment look like a hovel.
I felt a little ashamed. No wonder he had been in such a hurry to get out of there, when he was used to staying in hotels with silk sheets and big-screen TVs.
“If anything, it made our night better,” Roan grinned. “One to each bed and one on the pull-out couch. Nobody had to flip for the floor.”
“I ended up on the floor, anyway,” Carter groaned, which only layered guilt on top of my shame.
Roan pulled up a chair for me.
I took it with a grateful smile. “Did you guys find out anything?” I asked, even though I had no idea what they could find out. It seemed an appropriate question.
“Our team is still working on it, but we can say with some confidence that nobody has found you yet.”
I smiled. “That’s good.”
“But there’s still a chance of hackers breaching the paper’s network and finding your name and address.”
Smile gone. “That’s bad.”
“We’re monitoring the activity on the network,” Slate assured me. “At the first sign of a brute force attack, we’ll trace whoever’s performing the attack and retaliate.”
“That sounds dangerous.”
“It’s nothing worth worrying about,” he said.
“What about Lance and Nia and the rest of them?” I looked around the room. “Where are they?”
“They’re moving out today,” Drew said. “I was just down there, and they were getting ready to leave.”
“Oh, no.” I rested my head in my hands.
“They weren’t going to stay forever, anyhow. It was never meant to be that way.” Carter rested his hand on my back. I wanted to shake him off, remembering the way he left me hanging back at the apartment, but I needed the comfort.
“I feel like they hate me. They have to hate me, right?”
“I’m sure they don’t,” he said.
“They really don’t,” Drew agreed. “It was all a mistake.”
“Does Jordan know?” I asked without looking up.
“Said they still can’t get in touch with him,” Roan replied.
“I’ll be on it,” Drew promised.
“You’re going to look for him?” I raised my head.
“Yeah. It’s what I do. Well, me and my brother.” Carter nodded in agreement.
“You should work together, then. Right?” I looked from one of them to the other.
Carter looked uncomfortable. Why? “My job on this case is to stay with you.”
“I thought that was just a one-time thing last night.”
“Yeah, me too,” Roan said.
Carter’s eyes narrowed. “That’s my business. I feel like I should take the lead on security.”
“Be my guest,” Roan replied.
“I think it’s a bad idea.” I looked up at Carter. “You have to find Jordan. They need him.”
“What about you?”
I shrugged. “I could go with you. I mean, it’s pretty much the safest I could be. No offense,” I added, looking at Roan and Slate.
Roan frowned. “That puts a different spin on things, for sure. I was already considering one or two of us following the group to be sure they’re okay and keep our contacts posted on whether we see anything suspicious. That might as well be me and Slate, while Drew and Carter track this Jordan guy.”
“This isn’t a good idea,” Carter warned.
“Why not? Tell me why not. If somebody finds the group and she’s with them, game over. Whoever’s coming won’t expect any of us to be looking for Jordan. They don’t even know who Jordan is. So the chances are lower that she’ll be in danger if she’s on the move.”
Carter looked down at me. “I thought you were all concerned about your job and your life.”
“I was. I am. But I’m more concerned with staying alive and making sure my friends do, too. They need Jordan, and he needs to know there’s trouble.”
The guys looked at each other.
I knew that look. It told me I was right and was about to take a trip.
8
Carter
“I can’t believe Mary went for this,” I grumbled.
We were headed north on the Pacific Coast Highway, where Lance told us Jordan had started off.
“Went for what? We have to find this guy and let him know his people are in trouble. So is he, in case you forgot.” Drew grinned at me from the passenger seat. “And come on. Don’t tell me you can’t appreciate this view. Hot damn, it’s gorgeous out here.”
“It is,” I admitted. It was a beautiful day, too. I told myself to enjoy it.
And I did, until Alice snorted in her sleep and reminded me she was lying across the back seat. She was a liability.
I understood why she had to come along and would’ve preferred she be with me than anybody else on the team—she felt like my responsibility, for better or worse. I wouldn’t rest if I didn’t know for sure that she was safe. But tracking took concentration and focus, being able to pick up on a single scent out of a million other scents.
As always, it seemed like Drew could read my mind. “Leave the tracking part to me. You can focus on keeping her safe.”
“This is all probably for nothing,” I muttered. “They’ll never be able to find her, especially now that we’
re moving north. She didn’t tell a soul where we were going or even that she was leaving town.”
“You know they have their ways.”
“They’re not super-villains, Drew. This isn’t a comic book.”
“Don’t shit on my comics,” he warned.
“I’m just saying, things like that don’t happen.”
“You’re right.” He sat back in his seat with a sigh. “It’s not like an underground branch of the military performed secret experiments on our dad and a bunch of other people and turned us all into mutants. That sort of stuff only happens in comic books. By the way, fans prefer they be called graphic novels.”
“You know I hate when you call us mutants.”
“It’s what we are,” he reminded me with a shrug. “Whatever, man. Own it.”
“I know who I am. I accept that. I even like it. But I don’t have to call myself a mutant.” I stole a look at Alice in the mirror. She was out cold with her mouth hanging open.
“Okay, okay.” He craned his neck to look back at her. “So. What about her?”
“What about her?”
“You like her, don’t you?”
“She’s okay. Finding out somebody might want to kill her makes her a lot more likable. Otherwise, the sarcasm might’ve been a little too much to deal with.”
“Now you know how it feels, Mister Sarcasmo.”
“Could you not be such a nerd for like a minute? I don’t need a comic book name. Sorry, a graphic novel name. And I’m trying to concentrate on the drive. Enjoy the scenery or something.” I didn’t want to talk about her, especially not when she was right behind us.
What if she woke up and overheard? Something about her told me she had shit self-esteem. I didn’t feel like dealing with her getting all emotional or whatever.
And I guessed I did sort of like her. When she read her articles, she showed me her heart. And it was a good heart. She was a good person who deserved a hell of a lot better than she was getting right about then.
I told myself that was the reason why it was so important for me to get that look back in her eyes.
The flashing, blazing look she threw at me when we first met.
“We’re in Santa Barbara,” I told Slate as I waited for Alice and Drew to finish picking up a bunch of junk food at the convenience store.
The parking lot was fairly empty, which was one of the major selling points. The fewer eyes on us, the better.
“Is it as beautiful out there as it’s supposed to be?”
I looked out the window at the deep blue sky, the palm trees, the mountains in the distance. “No?”
“Fucking liar. You suck at it.”
We both laughed.
“How are things with you guys?”
“All right. Everybody’s in pretty good spirits. This is just another day at the office for them, you know? They know they could get picked up at any time, even if it’s something they don’t want to think about.”
“Right, right.” I could just see the top of Alice’s red head bobbing up and down as she walked from aisle to aisle. I wondered how many days she thought she had to shop for and considered leaning on the horn to get her attention.
“How’s Roan? I know he’s got to be distracted right now.”
“Yeah, well, that makes two of us.”
“What’s up?”
He sighed. “I’m worried about Maggie. She just called this morning, asking when I would be back. I reminded her how long it took for us to close her case. That’s not good enough. I wonder if she’s going to be able to handle being with me when my life is the way it is.”
I winced. “That sucks. Hopefully, we get home soon.”
“Well, in the meantime, I’m flying her in to stay with Hope. The two of them can commiserate over how hard it is to be with their men.”
“That’s a good idea. Hope won’t have to be alone, either.”
“Right. I think Roan feels a lot better. The obstetrician said she looks fine, but you know him. He’s still worried. He wants to be there and listen to the doctor tell him this in person.”
“Of course. Next time, he’ll be able to go.”
“I just wish we knew what it was like for our moms,” he muttered. “You know what I mean? And can you imagine what our dads went through? Not knowing if their wives would survive.”
“I know. I feel the same way sometimes. Not just because of that, either. It would be nice to have parents around.”
“Well, yeah,” he snickered. “For now, I have Roan to tell me what to do.”
“Lucky you.” Alice and Drew started out the glass doors, loaded down with bags. “Fuck me, I think they bought out the entire store.”
He laughed. “Have fun with that.”
I was just ending the call when Drew opened the back door for Alice, who was giggling when she climbed in.
“Did you leave anything in there for anybody else?”
She frowned. “Lighten up. Here. I picked this up especially for you since your brother said you used to like them so much. You’re welcome.”
She tossed a cream-filled caramel stick in my direction, which I caught deftly.
“Oh, no shit. I haven’t had one of these in years.”
The first bite was bliss. I could remember spending hours at a time letting bite after bite melt in my mouth.
“See? We were thinking about you, even if you didn’t want to come in with us.”
“Somebody has to keep a watch,” I reminded him. “So. Any hints in there?”
He shook his head. “I caught the barest whiff of animal, but I don’t think it was one of our kind. Maybe an actual animal—like a companion dog or something.”
“Damn.” I checked the maps app on my phone for the next gas station or convenience store along the route. He must have stopped somewhere. He needed gas, for God’s sake.
“A two-hour drive has taken us five hours,” Alice mumbled from the back.
“And? What’s your point?” Our eyes met in the mirror.
She glared at me. “Nothing, I guess. Just wondering how much further ahead Jordan might be.”
“Yeah, I know. You don’t have to tell me.” I checked the map again. “Lance swore to me that Jordan never goes more than a day away from their current location. You know, to make sure the group won’t have to spend the night someplace in the middle of a trip. He has to be somewhere nearby.”
“Maybe we’ll catch him on his way back,” she suggested.
“Maybe.” It actually made a lot of sense. There was a strong chance he would cross paths with us on his way back to Santa Monica. Still, it annoyed me that she thought she needed to put her two cents in. “We’ve been doing this whole tracking thing for a long time. We don’t need your expert opinion.”
“Ouch,” Drew muttered under his breath.
I was about two seconds away from telling him to mind his own goddamned business, too. I didn’t need a rookie, a target, telling me how to do what I did best.
She couldn’t possibly come up with anything I wouldn’t already be thinking.
Her mood dropped.
I could almost feel it. The change in the air was tangible.
I felt like the world’s biggest ass for snapping at her, but I wouldn’t apologize. She needed to remember her place in the grand scheme of things.
I left the rest of the candy in the console cup holder and drove on to the next convenience store.
9
Alice
I punched my pillow and wished it was his face. I could just imagine how satisfying it would be to wipe the look off his stupid face. If I drew blood, that would be even better. I punched again. And again.
It didn’t help. Two additional hours of stewing in the car hadn’t helped, and neither did kicking the crap out of a pillow in a motel room somewhere along the California coast.
I was alone in there, which was how I preferred it. Screw Carter, the dick. Why did he have to be so mean? Why couldn’t he be nice, like his
brother?
I actually got along with Drew. We had a lot of fun back at the mini-mart, going from aisle to aisle as we chose our favorite junk foods. He had insisted I buy anything and everything I wanted. What a gem. Maybe he got all the nice genes, and his brother got all the shit ones.
It didn’t matter that Carter was so gorgeous, it almost broke my heart. He wasn’t a nice person.
I flopped back onto the bed, looking up at the ceiling. It was smooth, not like the one back at home. The room was so big, too. It felt like I was spoiling myself even though I wasn’t paying for it and it was, after all, just a motel. Not exactly the lap of luxury. Even so, it was a nice change. Maybe I needed to move out to a slightly bigger apartment.
No matter what I tried to distract myself with—even a package of cupcakes full of chocolate crème—my mind kept going back to Carter. His attitude, his nastiness. I was only trying to feel like I was still a part of things.
Everything kept happening around me, in spite of me. I was almost an afterthought. It wasn’t easy for a person like me to let somebody else determine their life for her.
I had been on my own for as long as I could remember and was used to making decisions for myself. Then in swept Captain Alpha Asshole and out went my opinions, my needs, my wishes.
I checked the time when I heard a knock at my door. It was roughly dinner time. Probably Drew, wanting to know if I wanted anything. He would be thoughtful like that. His brother, not so much. I got up and went to the door.
It was Carter.
My heart sank even as it skipped a beat. My heart was weird like that.
“Hi,” I said, leaning on the door. “What do you want?”
His eyes narrowed. “What do you think?”
“Oh, sorry. Is it time for my seven o’clock insult already? Or maybe you stopped by to remind me how I have no control over my life. Or maybe, just maybe, you want to be sure I know I’m worthless. You always keep me guessing.”
He sighed. “Chill out, okay?”
“You chill out. I’ve been nice to you all through this and you know I’m going through a lot of shit right now, and you’re still a jerk. I don’t have to chill out just because you want me to. I want you to be nicer to me. How’s that sound?”