by Kim Newman
Had they gone through all that for this? Gruesome Gryce back in power?
Gryce’s boater lifted up and was torn in half… by a freak wind, they all agreed. Amy was becoming as dexterous with her mentacles as her fingers. In the hols, the others had challenged her to perfect her paper-folding and -tearing skills.
Light Fingers made very quick movements with her hands, to distract the Heathens.
Gryce went cross-eyed with fury. She had a deep well of resentments after last term, and – in the absence of Rayne – others would suffer for it.
But Amy and the Moth Club would be ready.
‘Au revoir, mes enfants… toodle-pip and -oo.’
The Murdering Heathens sauntered on, in search of other girls to put the frighteners on.
‘Look, that’s him,’ said Smudge. ‘Them. Mr and Mrs Rinaldo.’
Outside the chapel stood a tall, dark fellow in a long black robe. He had a thin moustache and wore dark glasses with sides. His wife was, indeed, so fair as to be almost ghostly. She wore a cream dress a shade darker than her skin and hair, and another pair of those sunglasses. She held a parasol which shaded both their faces. They must be night people. The only colour about them was the rich redness of their lips. They smiled sweetly at the girls passing, accepting nods of greeting.
Amy had a feeling about them.
Behind those glasses, eyes were fixed on passing faces. They had already made their pick of pets, though Amy wasn’t sure what that meant.
‘And that’s their servant,’ said Inchfawn.
Shambling out of the chapel came Gogoth, wearing a verger’s frock rather than a chauffeur’s uniform. His shaven head had grown out, and he sported a shaggy, greyish beard.
‘Ah nertz,’ said Kali.
With Gogoth was Henry Buller, less stocky this term and with a clearer complexion. No longer a Heathen, no longer a Black Skirt. There was no telling where she fit in. Gogoth, it seemed, was devoted to the maiden fair he had rescued from a burning ship…
…now she thought about it, Amy was envious of that lump Buller. She could think of other much worthier candidates for rescue. She even fancied sometimes that it might be nice to be rescued herself – say, by Viscount Ralph or Uncle Nugent’s surprisingly decent son, Patrick, or, strange to admit it, Dr Shade. She’d read a lot of Dr Shade adventures lately, and started collecting pictures and clippings about his career. It was said that he had a secret headquarters inside Big Ben.
‘Don’t think like that, Amy,’ said Light Fingers. ‘You’re Kentish Glory. You’ll be the one doing the gallant rescuing, not the one standing in the flames and shrieking like a twit.’
Light Fingers had explained she couldn’t read minds, but could look at something and ask herself ‘what would Amy think?’ and hit very near the mark. Like Amy with her mentacles, she got better when she practised.
‘But it might be nice… once in a while…’
Amy looked at Light Fingers, at Frecks and Kali…
‘No, Amy,’ said Frecks. ‘That’s not the dream.’
Amy had a jumble of impressions from her dip into the Purple and sometimes thought she knew what was going to happen next… in a week or in twenty years. If she tried to focus, it all went away. Like Knowles when her cramming faded, she knew she’d known something – for certain – but was now vague about it. Some of her intimations, her feelings, had already been wrong.
‘The wolves are gone from the woods,’ said Smudge.
That was strange – Smudge rarely had good news to impart.
‘Chased off by the Yettymen,’ she continued. ‘There’ve been footprints, scratches high up on trees, strange signs – not like last term’s strange signs, new ones! There are no birds or bugs either. It’s deadly quiet, except you know you’re not alone so you listen out for the tiniest sounds. When there’s nothing, not even a twig creaking or water dripping, you know the Yettymen are near.’
‘You’ve been in the woods alone?’ Amy asked.
‘No, but I’ve heard from those who have.’
Amy paid attention. Frecks, Light Fingers and Kali gathered round.
They all had masks inside their blazer linings. They were all ready for adventure.
This was interesting. Amy’s mental antennae pricked.
The Yettymen?
Another case for the Moth Club.
Drearcliff Grange School Register
Ariel
First Form
Susan Ah
Hilda Courtney
Jane Dogge
Phaedra Hunt
Demeter London (Captain)
Lydia Marlowe
Jean Orfe
Ivy Prosser
Anne Sercombe
Janet Thaw
Second Form
Maria Biddlecombe
Martina Bone
Emily Dace
Anne D’Arbanvilliers-Cleaver (Captain)
Georgaina Fell
May Forrest
Monica Frensham
Venetia Laurence
Lucia Maunder
Valeria Mrozková
Third Form
Hannah Absalom
Chastity Banks
Octavia Benjamin
Catherine Bourbon
Chloe Catchpole
Bizou De’Ath
Natalie Laverick
Evelyn Lowen
Catherine Trechman (Captain)
Sybil Vigo
Fourth Form
Christina DeManby (Captain)
Isabella Fortune
Arabella Hughes
Idominea Lescaulles
Titania Mondrago
Sally Nikola
Fleur Paquignet
Cassandra Wilding
Heather Wilding
Priscilla Wilding
Fifth Form
Susan Byrne (Captain)
Thomasina Campbell
Alexa di Fontane
Dorothy Dungate
Frances Farragh
Prima Haldane
Marion Keith
Sonali Shah
Charlotte Teller
Rosina Terrell
Sixth Form
Angela De’Ath
Jean DuGuid
Jane Ferrers
Enid ffolliott (absent)
Yeong-ae Kim
Brenda Manders
Patricia Peale
Doreen Stockwell
Alexandra Vansittart (House Captain)
Rebecca Youell
Desdemona
First Form
Elizabeth Chick
Jennifer Dawes
Pearl Dennison (Captain)
Anne Gifford
Louise Hartley
Ruth Hipgrave
Taff Jones-Rhys
Helen Knight
Avril Parrish
Ellaline Terriss
Second Form
Janet Blake
Nancy Dyall
Philippa Farjeon
Dorothy Fulwood
Elisabeth Gaye
Kathryn Hall (Captain)
Lillian Hyson
Cynthia Moul
Violet O’Brien
Polly Palgraive
Third Form
Maude-Lynne Arbuthnot
Kali Chattopadhyay
Clodagh FitzPatrick
Moraticia Frump
Lydia Inchfawn
Thomasina Hoare-Stevens
Emma Naisbitt (Captain)
Verity Oxenford
Amanda Thomsett
Serafine Walmergrave
Fourth Form
Janet Aden
Ella Bowman
Honor Devlin
Susan Foreman
Nicola Helfrich
Charlotte Knowles
Rosanna Kyd
Lucinda Leigh
Aurora Martine (Captain)
Clare Saxby
Fifth Form
Dorothy Abbott
Theresa Crockford (Captain)
Fiona Fergusson
Dilys Frost
Rosalind Kaveney
Saskia Kriegsherr
Amelia Lipman
Winifred Rose
Pamela Soon
Doreen Wychwood
Sixth Form
Gowan Caulder
Marigold de Vere
Constance Hern
Dolores Howe
Daisy Keele
Morrigan McHugh
Matilda Pelham (House Captain)
Adrienne Penny
Valmai Smith
Donna Wise
Goneril
First Form
Jane Addey
Selina Briss
Maureen East
Marina George (Captain)
Julie Godfrey
Julianna Keddle
Dianne Poynton
Sabine Saussure
Tzara Tetzlaff
Millicent Trundleclough
Second Form
Margaret Carmichael
Wilhelmina Fudge
Muyun Ker
Freya Outerbridge
Annie Pridhaux
Ruby Raven
Tabitha Spikins (Captain)
Lillie Stevenson
Jane Thicke
Emily Usborne
Third Form
Katherine Berthaiume
Rachel Cray
Miriam Ellacott
Joycelyn Hilliard
Hermione Jago (Captain)
Priyanki Khalsekar
Isabel Loss
Ekaterina Pendill
Jemima Sieveright
Linda Thiele
Fourth Form
Sophie Calder (Captain)
Helen Davisson
Cara Fielder
Aconita Gould
Mary Jones
Netta Kinross
June Mist
Dorothy Ooms
Ninja Sundquist
Phoebe Wellesley
Fifth Form
Hjordis Bok
Roberta Hale
Janice Marsh
Euterpe McClure
Helen O’Hara
Sarah Pinborough
Emilia Pitt-Patterson
Primrose Quell
Susan Su
Alicia Wybrew (Captain)
Sixth Form
Araminta Armadale
Eliza Beardsworth
Katherine Brown
Maisie Collins
Wendy Fernandes
Lucretia Lamarcroft
Gilbertine Myddleton
Florence Rhode-Eeling (House Captain)
Alraune Ten Brincken
Charmaine Yip
Tamora
First Form
Sarah Ackland
Mary Candlewick
Vera Claythorne
Olivia Duel
Damaris Gideon (Captain)
Louise Gilclyde
Laura Harvey
Iris Overton
Felicity Quilligan
Carlotta Smith
Second Form
Cleopatra Cotton
Elaine Finn
Cecily Garland
Miramara Ghastley
Siobhan Grimm
Clara Mill-Carston
Cunegonde Quive-Smith (Captain)
Victoria Silk
Tanya Six
Esther Stuckey
Third Form
Allegra Bidewell
Barbara Bryant
Selma Head
Mary Jarvis
Faith Merrilees
Bridget Mountmain
Silja Mueller (Captain)
Louise Sawley
Sarah Stallybrass
Francesca Stone
Fourth Form
Zenobia Aire (Captain)
Sarah Carnadyne
Ottilie Churchward
Miranda Crowninshield
Humphrina Jarrott
Gwendolyn Nobbs
Mara Rietty
Susannah Thorn
Phyllis Thorpe
Ruby Wool
Fifth Form
Erica Boscastle
Lucia Bewe-Bude
Caroline Cowper-Kent
Flora Griffin (absent)
Jacqueline Harper
Margaret Hume
Sylvestra Phillips
Sylvia Starr
Clementine Talbot (Captain)
Heike Ziss
Sixth Form
Henrietta Buller
Bryony Burtoncrest
Zealia Clock
Beryl Crowninshield
Sidonie Gryce (Head Girl)
Moria Kratides
Elva Kyle
Pandora Paule
Stheno Stonecastle
Felecia Tingle
Viola
First Form
Carol Coker
Alison Hills
Hazel Hood
Yung Kha (Captain)
Margaret Ring
Monique Soutie
Harriet Speke
Marianne Toulmin
Cecily Wheele
Jemima Williams
Second Form
Marie Adkins
Annabelle St Anne
Karen Featherstowe
Emanuelle Gotobed
Joan Hone
Eve Lapham
Juliet Lass (Captain)
Muriel Lavish
Helen Oakes
Marian Phair
Third Form
Heather Beeke
Theosopha Busby (Captain)
Simret Cheema-Innis
Ann Dis
Sarah Ladymeade
Abigail Pulsipher
Antoinette Rowley Rayne
Priscilla Rintoul
Angela Stannard
Morgana Vail
Fourth Form
Kitten Carnes
Barbara Chess
Isola Doone
Daphne Gallaudet
Philippa Hailstone
Unorna Light
Harmony Meade
Sara Paço (Captain)
Laura Tallentyre
Susannah Thorne
Fifth Form
Ida Acreman
Doris de Marne
Ellen Eyre
Sally-Anne Flyte
Oona Kite
Holly Queenhough (Captain)
Gladys Sundle
Mary Thompson
Lavinia Trent
Kathleen Vaughn
Sixth Form
Edith Brydges
Catherine Bunn
Unity Crawford
Amora Dove
Patricia Kearney
Margaret Lapham
Helena Mansfield (House Captain)
Martha McAndrew
Joanne Storey
Jocasta Upton
Staff
Dr Myrna Swan
Dr Ailsa Auchmuty
The Reverend Mr Pericles Bainter
Miss Ethel Bedale
Miss Violet Borrodale
Miss Elizabeth Downs
Miss Jennifer Dryden
Miss Catriona Kaye (acting)
Mrs Rosemary Wyke
Hilda Percy
Louise Humphreys R.R.C.
Nellie Pugh
Joxer Chidgey
Acknowledgements
THIS NOVEL GREW out of some research I did for An English Ghost Story, in which an author named Louise Magellan Teazle is supposed to have written a series of Drearcliff Grange School books. Mostly, that research consisted of reading Mary Cadogan and Patricia Craig’s You’re A Brick, Angela!: The Girls’ Story 1839–1985 – which remains one of the best books about popular fiction ever written, up there with Colin Watson’s Snobbery With Violence: English Crime Stories and Their Audience, another influence on what I’ve been trying to do with a loosely interconnected series of stories and novels inhabiting a world of British pulp adventure.
Among my other research sources: Angela Brazil’s The Manor House School and The Third Class at Miss Kaye’s, Evelyn Smith’s Val Forrest in the Fifth, Thom
as Hughes’s Tom Brown’s Schooldays, a lot of dimly remembered books by Frank Richards and Anthony Buckeridge, and, of course, Ronald Searle’s St Trinian’s: The Entire Appaling Business. I should also thank Dr Morgan’s Grammar School for Boys (which did have an utterly useless fives court), Haygrove Comprehensive and Bridgwater College.
A draft of the first section of this novel was published as ‘Kentish Glory: The Secrets of Drearcliff Grange School’ in my collection Mysteries of the Diogenes Club (MonkeyBrain Books). Thanks are due to Chris Roberson and Allison Baker for publishing that. At Titan, I am grateful to Nick Landau and Vivian Cheung, Cath Trechman (ace editor), Natalie Laverick, Jill Sawyer Phypers, Lydia Gittins, Cara Fielder, Chris Young, Katharine Carroll, Jenny Boyce and Martin Stiff (for another amazing cover). Thanks also to my agents Antony Harwood, James Macdonald Lockhart and Fay Davies. And to David Barraclough, Steven Baxter, Eugene Byrne, Alex Dunn, Barry Forshaw, Christopher Fowler, Sean Hogan, Stephen Jones, Paul McAuley and Brian Smedley.
I consulted various friends about their own school experiences – they’re mostly acknowledged by being on the Drearclff Grange register. Kat Brown, Simret Cheema-Innis, Meg Davis, Grace Ker, Yung Kha, Maura McHugh, Helen Mullane and Sarah Pinborough all get Gold Stars as credits to School.
About the Author
KIM NEWMAN IS a novelist, critic and broadcaster. His fiction includes The Night Mayor, Bad Dreams, Jago, the Anno Dracula novels and stories, The Quorum and Life’s Lottery, all currently being reissued by Titan Books, Professor Moriarty: The Hound of the D’Urbervilles published by Titan Books and The Vampire Genevieve and Orgy of the Blood Parasites as Jack Yeovil, and most recently the critically acclaimed An English Ghost Story, which was nominated for the inaugural James Herbert Award. His non-fiction books include the seminal Nightmare Movies (recently reissued by Bloomsbury in an updated edition), Ghastly Beyond Belief (with Neil Gaiman), Horror: 100 Best Books (with Stephen Jones), Wild West Movies, The BFI Companion to Horror, Millennium Movies and BFI Classics studies of Cat People and Doctor Who.