by Autumn Avery
"They fired you?"
"Yes. They don't think I can do the job anymore. I can't say I disagree. I can only stand for so long."
"They could have given you something to do, Mom. They can't just fire you. Don't they have laws against that?"
"I can't really afford a lawyer or anything."
Money. Our constant bane.
"I have unemployment, I'll be fine. Really. I can see if I can get on disability. Maybe I can still find a job."
"Mom..."
My mom? She's the most determined person I know. As she gets older, her body betrays her more and more. While apparently I was gifted with the body of Hercules, I got that from whoever my Dad was, and Mom? She just got weaker as she got older. She would eventually be in a wheelchair and there was really no stopping this inevitability.
I need to take care of her. She pushed herself so hard, for so long, now it’s my turn. I have a chance to succeed. To make sure she gets the best care she could possibly get. To never have to worry about money again.
"Just... take care of yourself, Mom. Keep yourself healthy. Keep yourself happy."
"Are you doing well? Are you eating right?"
"I'm fine, Mom. Really."
"You meet any nice girls?"
"Mom..." I didn't really tell her about being the Train, and all the people who wanted a ride on it. They weren't girls you brought home to your mother. They were fuck and forget, the right now, not the forever.
"Come on, Trevor. There should be plenty of nice girls there. A young strapping man like you shouldn't have any trouble finding one."
"Well, there is this one girl?"
"Oh? Is she pretty?"
"Um, yes. She's very pretty." I felt like this was the understatement of the fucking century.
"She nice to you? She going to take care of you?"
"Mom," I was shaking my head in embarrassment, before realizing she couldn't really see how red in the face she was making me over the phone. "Yeah. She's nice to me. Yeah, she wants to take care of me." Helping improve my grades counted as taking care of me, right?
"That sounds great, honey. When's the wedding?"
"Mom!"
I talked to her for as long as I could, the battery starting to wane. When she finally hung up, I gained some perspective on everything.
Failure wasn't an option.
I needed to impress all of the talent scouts. I needed to play in the New Year’s game.
To do that, I needed to get my grades up.
Stephanie was willing to help me. As much as not thinking about fucking her was incredibly hard for me, I knew that I needed to keep it in my pants.
It was going to be quite the test of willpower for me.
13
Stephanie
Stephanie
* * *
Who knew just sitting in on classes could be exhausting?
I swear Professor Hatch took full advantage of my presence and made me his personal gopher. Go get him coffee. Go deliver this message on an index card.
You know, in an era where we have e-mail and text messages.
Still, I had to endure. I wanted to repair that first impression.
When the final bell rang, though, I was right off to the coffee shop. Emma had been quick to accept my offer to meet up.
The smell of baked goods and other sweet things filled the air as I walked in. Getting a chocolate croissant or something was incredibly tempting.
I resisted, and got my sugar-filled frosted coffee instead, because that was clearly the much better dietary choice.
Walking into the standing area, I saw Emma already at a seat, and wearing dark sunglasses indoors and when it was right around sunset.
"Did you really drink that much last night?" I sat across from her. She was sipping something steaming. I had an idea that it was pure, black coffee.
"I got up three hours ago, so yeah, I think so."
"Jesus. I envy you and don't envy you at the same time."
"Please don't. I mean, I had lots of fun last night, but... damn, am I paying for it now."
I raised an eyebrow with curiosity. "Was the fun before or after the drinks?"
"Before? Like, we fucked, and then he decided that that the rest of the whiskey going to waste would be a shame. So we drank."
"You passed out first?"
"Hell no, that guy was a lightweight. I just kept going for a bit too long after I already won."
A laugh from me. "I guess if you're going to win, you should really win."
"Yeah, I win a nasty splitting migraine. I am so damned thankful I don't have work today." She sipped her coffee. It was definitely black. "Enough about me. I have lots of stuff to regret. You? You don't have so much to regret. Not yet. How'd last night go?" Even with the sunglasses I could see her eyes light up with curiosity.
"Why do you care so much?"
"Well, I assumed you were a virgin."
"I wasn't a virgin, Emma."
"Wasn't?" She grinned. "So you did get laid last night."
God, I hated her when she was this cunning. "Yeah, well, it doesn't mean it was something I don't regret."
"That bad, huh?"
"No, no, not like that."
"That good, huh?"
More shaking of my head. "I should have gotten to know him more. Turns out he's an asshole jock. You know, the type of guy I hate."
"Never fully explained why. Did one give you a swirly or something when I wasn't looking?"
She didn't know about Ryan. It was a dark spot for me, so I didn't go out of my way to talk about it. "No, not that." I figured though if I should talk to anyone about it, it should be Emma.
"Tell me, girl. I'm the shoulder you can cry on."
"What? About last night?"
"Is it something else? Did you have something bad happen while you were away at college?"
A long breath escaped through my lips. "I've been betrayed by asshole jocks twice now. Both times I dared open myself up, I get the knife shoved in my back that I was just used, that I was nothing more than a diversion."
"Jesus, you shouldn't take it so personally, Stephanie. Some people are just out for a good time."
"Yeah, they are, but they don't understand that I want more than that."
"Hopeless romantic, are we?"
"If you wanna trivialize my feelings, yes."
She chuckled. "I'm not trying to do that, girl. So you had a bad night. It doesn't mean all men are pigs forever."
"I don't know, I'm going two for two on the pig men front."
"You're an academic, Steph. You should know more than anyone that two is not a valid sample size."
I grumbled. "I'm not exactly pushing myself to expand the study." Especially when whoever I found, I highly doubted they would make me feel anything like Trevor did.
God, was I spoiled now? Even if I moved on, every time I fucked anyone, I would be comparing them to that time I had Trevor. I hoped I was wrong that he was the best I would ever have, because if he was... well, just kill me now, please.
"Who's this first guy, babe?" Emma sipped her coffee again. Perhaps slurped was the more appropriate verb with how loudly she did it.
"Back in freshmen year in college. Some cool kid flirted with me at a party. He had the letterman's jacket and everything. A big deal, could have had anyone in the entire school, yet he was dropping pick-up lines on me."
"You are a bit of a diamond in the rough."
I shook my head. "No, he was a creep, it just took me too long to realize it. He picked me because I didn't look like everyone else. I went along because, oh my god, the quarterback is all over me. I did whatever he asked. I drank too much. I partied too hard. I..." I paused a bit, still not fully comfortable with talking about such things aloud. "Gave him my virginity."
"Oooh, let me guess. He cheated on you. Or it was part of some bet with his football buddies to see who could deflower the most girls. Or he wanted you to do his homework for him."
"L
et's go with all of the above?"
"Ouch. Scumbag."
"You have no idea."
"And you think history is repeating itself here?"
I nodded. "He's some football player from the local college. You know. The one I just got a job at."
"Knew someone would get hot for teacher with you."
"Can it. It's not like that. I didn't even know he went to the college. If I had known, I would have run far, far away. You can't sleep with students, Emma. I'm not looking to get blackballed from academia before I even get started."
"I saw who you were walking out with. That was definitely someone worth breaking the rules for."
"I'm serious. I didn't spend years in college, bust my ass in high school before that, all to piss it away because I want to fuck a hot douchebag."
"What'd he do to earn the title of douchebag? It's only been a day, he'd have to be incredibly busy to have cheated on you already."
"He didn't cheat on me. We have to have a relationship first before he can cheat on me."
"What, did you find out he only fucked you on a bet again?"
"No! It's not that."
"He asked you to do his homework?" She shrugged.
"It's not exactly the same, Emma. I was speaking in general, it's another jock douchebag just using me. They didn't do exactly the same things."
"So what'd that hunk of man do then?" Emma salivating over Trevor when she didn't even know him wasn't helping either.
"Well, he, um..." What did he do? He ditched me before I woke up.
Yet he had to be at the school early too. He didn't know I was a teacher. Maybe he didn't want to wake me up, letting me sleep in because he didn't know any better.
"No. I'm not making excuses for him," I said aloud.
"Making excuses for who? You still haven't told me what he did."
"It doesn't matter what he did, Emma. Look, it doesn't matter. He's my student. Like, literally my student."
"Totally hot for teacher."
"The professor assigned me to help tutor him and get his grades up to par so he can appeal to the academic board and play football again. So I'm in there, teaching him one on one."
"From what it sounds like to me, he's the one teaching you things." She did a little dance in her seat.
I just stared at her blankly. "I'm glad you're getting over your hangover enough to celebrate my misery."
She giggled and then shook her head. "I'm sorry, it's funny."
"What's funny?"
"How yesterday you went on and on about how no one's going to go hot for teacher, and here you are in exactly that situation."
"Emma, please."
"It's going to be okay. It's not like they're going to enforce that rule unless becomes a problem anyway."
"It's not going to be a problem because I'm not making the same mistake again. Why are you assuming I'm still going for this guy despite everything I've told you?"
She leaned on her chin, and took off her sunglasses. "You know what the biggest turn-off on a date is typically? Talking about your ex. You know why?"
"Because talking about failed relationships just depresses everyone?"
"I guess that's part of it, but not what I was getting at. When you talk about your ex, you're not over your ex. Your ex is still on your brain."
"This guy isn't my ex, Emma. We never really dated."
"Yet you're obsessed over him. You can't accept that it was just a one-night stand and there was nothing more to it. I don't obsess over my one-night stands like this."
"Maybe you can just divorce emotion from sex. I can't."
"You should learn that too, because from what I'm hearing, you're in for some trouble if you don't."
"How do you figure?"
"Well, you're teaching this kid one on one. When you're going to be alone with him a lot. He's still into you. You're still into him. It must have been good enough to cause problems. It's a ticking time bomb of lust if I ever saw one, and the only question is how long the fuse is."
"There is no fuse, I'm not going to give in and fuck him again. I thought you had more respect for me, Emma."
She sat there silent for a time. Another coffee slurp from her and me.
"Yeah, the louder and louder you keep protesting? The more likely I think it is. Just saying I would bring some condoms. You know. Just to be prepared."
"I'm not carrying around condoms!"
"Ooh, you like it bareback. That's kinky of you, Stephanie."
My fists were balling up. She was poking me in a very tender spot.
What didn't help? It started to dawn on me that I had forgotten to do something that I very much had told myself I would do. I'd been in such a rush this morning to get to work on time that certain precautions completely slipped my mind.
"What's wrong?" Emma said. "All the color suddenly drained from your face. You okay there, Steph?"
"Um, uh..." I picked up my coffee, and stood. "Uh, I forgot to go buy something. I should get there before they close, you know."
"Stephanie? Stop hyperventilating. You mean a pharmacy? Most of them are open twenty-four/seven nowadays?"
"I need to do it now, okay."
"Jesus. Calm down, I'll come with you." She was quick to my side, a hand over my shoulder. "You don't need to freak out like this, girl. Everything will be fine."
I let out a breath. She was right. It wasn't like I was hyper-fertile or anything where the slightest drop of sperm in my lady parts meant instantly preggo.
"Although it must have been really good for a girl like you to forgot protection."
God, it really was.
The last thing I really needed though? Getting pregnant with Trevor's child.
I tried to think of how I would explain that to Professor Hatch.
None of the scenarios in my head played out in any way that wasn't an absolute disaster.
14
Trevor
Trevor
* * *
"Dude!" Dustin yelled through my door. "Gamma Delta Iota is throwing a party all of a sudden. Get off your ass and come with."
I sat myself straight up on my bed. I hadn't been super energetic since I got off the phone with my Mom. Maybe a party was just what I needed to charge the ol' batteries and get myself out of this funk.
Glancing in the mirror, I figured I looked fine. I was the fuckin' Train, I could show up buck naked and have the girls all over me.
Maybe that's what I needed. Something to wash the memory of Stephanie away. I mean, fuck, she was faculty. She was pissed. I should have stopped being such an asshole and accept that it wasn't going to happen.
Jesus, though, just moving on a forgetting something like that ever happened? Stephanie wasn't a woman I would forget for a very long time. Stephanie wasn't a woman who I would ever forget.
I ran a comb through my hair, tossed on some shoes, and I was ready to go. This train never needed any maintenance.
Bursting through the door I made my way ahead of Dustin. "Then we shouldn't keep them waiting, should we? Ain't a party without the Dust and the Train."
"When am I the Dust? That doesn't seem like a very macho nickname, Trev."
"It's fitting, though. You get everywhere and it takes forever to finally get rid of you."
"You really make me feel loved, you know that?"
The two of us went along to the sorority house throwing the party. Apparently the reason for the occasion was someone getting married or whatever when Dustin and I asked around a bit. Of course, it was an excuse. Everything was an excuse to party. I'm sure that when whoever this couple was got divorced, they'd throw a party for it too, help said sorority sister find another man. Not like I really believed a relationship right out of college could last anyway. Then again, there was Stephanie.
Urgh. Again, I struggled to push those thoughts out of my head. This was a new night, and it was time for a new woman.
Dustin and I were completely surrounded. Most of the rest of the team was
there, and there were plenty of fine women there too, a lot of them definitely not part of the sorority. Any of them would provide a compelling distraction. The thudding bass of the music would definitely put them in the mood, but I wasn't going to lie to myself and think they wouldn't be ready to throw themselves at me even if the place were silent aside from the chatter.
"Think I'm going to try for another buffet night," Dustin elbowed me in the side. "I'm pretty sure I can get a bunch of ladies to come with me and line up so I can indulge."
"I would think it would get old, but you have fun"
"C'mon, you know you want to. Just think of how many girls we could get to come with us. What they would do to prove they were so much sexier than the others. Make a competition of it."
"I'm just not feeling it, man." I was struggling to feel any of the girls here. I was looking over them, trying to find one that whetted my appetite. Yet I was struggling. Each and every one of them were inevitably compared to Stephanie. Each and every one of them wouldn't have shit on her.
"Fine then. I'll court every woman in the damn building by myself. More pussy for me." He slapped me on the back before taking off who knows where.
I couldn't really care. Dustin could have his fun.
As for me? I was sort of at a loss on what I wanted to do. My arms were crossed and I was observing, but I wasn't looking for a target like I so often usually did.
"Oooh, is that the Train, Becky?" Sometimes though, you don't need to look for trouble because trouble will look for you.
Two girls, a blonde and a brunette in Gamma Delta Iota shirts, came out of nowhere right next to me. The brunette was running her hands down my arms. "Jesus, he's as solid as he looks."
"Can I help you ladies?"
"I don't know, Becky," they exchanged glances. "You think he can help us?"
"He might be the one to help you, Abby. Teach you that there are good cocks out there."
"Oh, I'm the one, huh?" I smirked, just playing along out of curiosity more than anything else.
"Oh yeah, Abby here? She's about to give up on guys completely. Become a full-time lesbian. Says she likes cocks okay, but they're all attached to people who can't please her. Selfish pricks, you know... only literally."