The set the raft afloat near the edge of the lake and Him took her about the waist to set her atop it. “Don’t let any one part of you linger near the water for too long. It’ll draw attention to your life and signal the Ancient One.”
Of all the things they had already faced together, each of them just as life-threatening as the next, this new task seemed more impossible than all the previous tasks combined. Before she had felt safe under Him’s protection, but as she watched him step hesitantly onto the wavering and unsteady raft, she only felt twisted. Twisted and defenseless.
They had not even departed yet and once more she was cursing herself for doing it all to save her sister. She knew that even though Christina loved her very much, her sister would never put herself through the kinds of horrors Meredith was facing. Christina—who didn’t appreciate or acknowledge anything. Christina—whom Meredith had given up her own youth for, whom she’d stopped time itself for so that Christina could be young and happy forever, while Meredith’s youth had slowly slipped away, and the dark emptiness inside of her became all consuming.
A flare of jealousy and bitterness toward her sister burned so strong Meredith almost resolved to turn back completely, but then it flashed even brighter inside of her and expanded to anger toward her mother. If her mother had never died she would not have been responsible for Christina, and she would have had her own life, her own youth, her own happinesses. And then she blamed her father for abandoning his own children.
It wasn’t fair. None of it was fair.
Him dug the rod into the water, pushed hard as though it were thick as mud, and untucked their tiny vessel from the shoreline. The raft trembled against the surface, under their weight, and for a long time she held her breath.
“We’re going to make it across the lake,” she told herself in a thick whisper that stuck like glue against the back of her tongue.
“Merry,” he interrupted her train of thought. “If you could have one wish in all the world, what would it be?”
She was surprised at his thoughtful query and glanced upward. “I think I would like very much to wake somewhere beside you and find that we were always together and this was nothing more than a horrible dream.”
“That would be nice,” he agreed.
“What would you wish?”
“The same.”
The shore shrank with every stroke of the limb through the ebony water. Some of the minstrels had been waving them off since she had first sat down on the raft, and when she looked she saw that those same minstrels were still waving their hands in gleeful farewell.
“Just relax,” he instructed. “Think happy thoughts, and try to remember to keep yourself away from the water.”
Now that she actually see the castle, the glamour of it faded like a distant dream in the revelation of hidden daylight. The silver essence surrounding it was no more than a thick smudge of grey against the moss-covered and moldy stone. The east tower rose into the clouds, the stone at that height glistening black with dampness.
There was an arched window just near the top of the tower, indicating that there was a room there, perhaps a room from which Kothar watched over the land, or even more likely, a place where he kept prisoners. It was so high that it reminded her of Rapunzel’s tower, and she watched for a moment to see if there was a glistening hint of golden hair to come tumbling out that window.
There was no glistening stream of gold, only darkened glass and lowering her head in preemptive defeat, Meredith let a long sigh deflate her.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
As they glided atop the water, it sloshed close to her and Meredith leaned outward to look down into the thick eternity. It was like looking into the night sky, limitless as the pinpoints of light flickered with every row. Her own reflection in the surface was no more than a shadow distorted by the wrinkles in the water, which disturbed her until she thought she would hyperventilate with fear.
Happy thoughts.
She reached backward in her mind for the last shred of happiness, but as she glanced over her shoulder toward the shrinking shore, the minstrels in her view only brought her sadness. They became strange smudges against an already murky canvas, and their white faces stood out like the stars in the water against the dismal backdrop of the desolate Wald.
They were far enough from the shore she could no longer hear the sound of their farewell music. And then a grey streak moved in and out of the black bodies, causing Meredith to strain her eyes.
“Is that Gorigast?”
Him narrowed his gaze. “It does look like him,” he said, “but he’s too late if he’s meant to follow us now.”
Meredith looked away, back out over the vast lake and tried to figure in her mind how long it would take them to reach the other side. Ten, perhaps fifteen minutes. Even ten minutes would seem like an eternity as she watched the water and waited for doom to erupt from the pitch.
They steadily moved toward the center of the lake and water licked the sides of their raft. Aside from the clear sound of wood rushing through water, Meredith heard only ploinks and splashes and the hurried rhythm of her own heart.
Him appeared soldierly in his resolve to get them across the lake quickly. She watched the muscles in his arms and chest contract and expand, marveling at his elegance. How she could fashion her mind on such a thing during so crucial a time she did not know, but it brought the flicker of a smile to her mouth. This must be how Christina felt when she watched Wilhelm plough the Grisham’s field. Pride mingled with desire, desire evoked fear, and fear only seemed to increase her want for him.
Meredith looked out around Him, at the whisperish sound of a distant splash. Only the final droplets of water clung to the air as if suspended by, but then they too fell just in time for what appeared to be two small serpents flailing just above the surface.
“What on earth—” she remarked, trying not to lean too far for fear of rocking the raft and knocking Him off balance.
Him steadied and peered over his shoulder in the direction Meredith had pointed. “What is it?”
“Something in the water, just near the shore and drawing closer,” she said. “I think one of the minstrels fell into the lake.”
“The last thing we need is a disturbance in the water.”
Meredith shuddered, as to hear him say that only made the nonexistent threat of some otherworldly god seem all the more horrific. They had already rowed so far, were halfway across, and that was when she saw what looked like flailing, tentacle arms in the water. Once more, her heart sped up, and she could hardly breathe.
She looked toward the shore again, the same splash of arms only it wasn’t flailing so much as it was swimming toward them. “I think it is Gorigast."
“More and more I fear I understand his mission, and that mission is to destroy us before we reach the doors of the castle.” Him's dark lips curled into a scowl. “I rue the day we ever met that elf.”
Meredith closed her eyes in a flash of guilt, as she had trusted the elf far too eagerly. She had been thinking with her logic and reason instead of with her heart; thinking only of reaching the castle, not about the hardships such simple trust could bring upon them.
“It is my fault that he follows us,” she whispered. “I’m sorry.”
“Nonsense,” Him quieted her.
Beneath them she felt the raft tremble, as if a current stronger than their own oar rippled in the deep, black pool. They exchanged uneasy glances, as there was no denying the presence of some force in the water below. Meredith watched Him, his face drawn tight and his adam’s apple lowering like a lever as he swallowed.
“Kothar has set him to some task,” Him said. There was hope in his quiet tone that staying still might throw off whatever foul and wretched thing swam beneath them.
“But he was leading us to the castle,” she shook her head.
Before she was able to analyze the situation any further there was another tremor, so forceful the raft jounced on the water’s surface
like a wild horse. Him struggled to keep his balance, and Meredith grasped at the hem of his tunic, and held out her other hand to reach for his.
“Perhaps now it is best if we both sit,” she suggested.
He swallowed again, and nodded his head. She held on to his hand to keep him steady as he maneuvered his weight and sat down. The raft rocked and bucked beneath them as he did so, and the water splattered against Meredith’s clothing in little black beads. It stained the fabric grey as it soaked in, and when she felt it against her skin, she shuddered with a chill. It felt unnatural and strange, making her skin feel cold in such a way that she'd never known before.
Meredith looked toward the shore again and saw the small flutter of arms stroking furiously toward them. There were subtle splashes as the elf kicked harder and harder to propel himself forward. Him held the rod he had been using between them and started to row over the sides to push the raft closer to the opposite shore. At first the water seemed to resist his rowing, the raft itself stalemated against the currentless lake, and then the swirling patterns began to appear all around them.
Terrified, Meredith’s heart pulsed in her throat. She couldn't breathe, but opposite her, Him never once gave way to his fears. He put every muscle in his upper body to work battling against the restrictions on the raft until the water itself seemed to refuse them, yielding to them only the smallest distance with every stroke.
“Merry, I need you to listen to me,” he said. “Listen carefully.”
Those words alone should have sent her into a raging panic, but she remained calm because she knew she had to. It was too late to lose her head now.
“I do not know if it was our rowing or that foolish elf that awoke the Ancient One, but I know that beneath us he stirs, and with each moment he grows stronger and closer to where we are.”
Her lower lip trembled, and while there was the choked urge inside her throat to cry out, she held it back and pursed her lips tight.
“If we are capsized, swim for the opposite shore. It will be your only chance to reach the castle.”
“But I…
As if he knew what manner of protest her words would take, he shook his head and leaned forward to cover her lips with a fingertip. “You must promise me, Meredith. Promise you will think only of the shore, and nothing else.”
“But what if I lose you?”
“Merry, promise me, please.” That final word carried such weight and desperation and his eyes were filled with fear that she might not promise him at all. “I have already told you that no matter what happens, I am always with you.”
She didn't want to promise.
“It’s all right,” he said. “We are going to get through this. The shore is very close.”
No matter how close they came to the castle, it would feel like it was a million miles out of their reach until they landed safely there. The notion of that timeless thing in the water was just enough to make time itself stop and each movement toward safety futile.
“Can you see over my shoulder?” she asked. “Is there any sign of...”
“Nothing.”
His voice gave away no hint, and she couldn't tell if he was telling the truth, or protecting her from it by keeping it quiet.
“I imagine it is a rather large thing, though probably quite small when considered among other gods and otherworldly beings.” His face lengthened in respectful curiosity.
“What are those lights?” she wondered aloud, fingers nearly reaching out to touch them. “The lights in the darkness of the water, where do they come from?”
Himself reached out quickly to take her hand before it grazed the surface of the water. “They are the stars of another world,” he said.
“You mean...” She reflected quietly while trying to formulate the question that confused her mind. She was thinking of the stars she had spent many a nighttime admiring throughout the course of her life, the giant, all the stars in the zodiac, the North Star, and imagined that on the other side of her own sky those stars were perceived by another dimension as water. Who knew what traveled in the skies, beyond the lens of the human eye, beyond a telescope’s reach. “I will never look at the sky in the same way again.”
She thought she heard him chuckle quietly. “After this adventure is done, I imagine there will be many things you never look at the same way again.”
She gazed down at the mirror of starlight again and imagined that their small raft was sailing across the sky. Wouldn’t it be amazing, she wondered? Wouldn’t it be a dream come true? She thought about looking down from the sky then, and wondered if from so high she would be able to see her house, or even the pattern of the land. Cautiously Meredith leaned over the side and looked down into the water, but all she saw was ripples of unending darkness spotted with the distant light of another world’s stars.
It was amazing, and for a moment she forgot the danger they were in and allowed herself to marvel in the wavering beauty of a liquid sky.
Meredith felt the anxiety growing in her stomach. Her legs tingled with pins and needles from sitting in that awkward position. She would be grateful to stretch them again, she thought, to stand up freely and walk on solid earth even if she was marching straight to the front doors of the goblin king's castle.
For a moment the sun poking through the dreary backdrop of the sky seemed bright as liquid mercury, and its luminescence blinded her eyes so that Him was nothing more than a greenish-yellow outline edged in black shadow. The splashing of arms was there in the distance, but quickly became consumed by an even greater sloshing and slapping of the water. The repercussions tilted the tiny raft that sustained them, and startled Meredith reached out to grab onto Him.
“Is that?”
His face lengthened with the first hint of fear. His lower lip trembled briefly as he opened his mouth to answer, but only one word followed, “Waves.”
Meredith stretched her head back over her shoulder and saw the curve of a large wave just as it washed over their raft. She wasn’t sure how she managed to keep her mind as it happened, but she consciously felt the tied branches break apart beneath her body, and then the free suspension as she fell, fell, fell deeper into the great black void of the Nether Lake.
She felt Him grab for her hand, the tips of his fingers brushing her palm, then her wrist, but it all happened so suddenly he wasn't able to grasp onto her.
It was an indescribable feeling, falling into the Nether Lake. At first, all she could compare it to was her notion of what it might feel like to fall from the sky, forever and ever tumbling unbound and weightless. Inside the darkness she thought she wouldn’t be able to see, but beneath the water the darkness was like night itself against her skin. It cast shadowy-blue hues on everything around her while the distant stars sailed by her like tiny bubbles.
Falling through that forever was wondrous and exciting until she realized she couldn’t breath. It wasn’t the same as being underwater, just that the consistency of it was so thick she couldn’t draw anything inside her.
Panic seized her body, and at first she went rigid. Then she flailed her arms above her in hopes of reaching the surface again.
The movement of her arms did nothing but tire her out. Had she been able to cry, her body would have surrendered to defeat, but since nothing she tried seemed to help her in any way, she drew her limbs in close to her body and tucked tight into a fetal position. The moment she did this, she felt the pull of gravity drawing her back upward, and she was so surprised that for a moment she halted the motion completely by stretching out her arms in shock. Immediately she pulled them back in and folded even tighter into herself than she had before. Like an air pocket trapped in soda-water, she floated quickly to the top, and bounced up onto the surface like a ball.
“Him!” The sound of her cry filled the mercury daylight. She could see nothing, her eyes still tinged with the nether dark.
She listened to the strange sounds of the world, the slapping of the lake against her own skin, against
itself, and then the distant call of some water fowl.
It seemed an eternity before he called back to her, his voice tight with panic, “Meredith?”
“I am here.” She waved her arms and tried to wipe the darkness from her eyes.
“Stay where you are, Merry!”
“I can’t see you.”
“Stay where you are and I will find you.”
The sound of slapping water grew more frantic as she bobbed amid the waves. The waves tugged at her from underneath, their grip like two hands on her ankles, but then she drew them close to her again, into her chest, and her body floated upward again.
“Are we near the shore?” She wondered aloud, not feeling comfortable with the lack of communication between them. As long as they were speaking, they would find each other, she reasoned, but just then a hand grasped her sleeve, and she cried out.
“Shh,” Him whispered. “We must be silent and swift as the wind.”
She reached up and felt his hand, wrapped her fingers around his wrist in desperation, and nodded her head, even though she had no idea whether or not he could see her. The nether was starting to clear from her eyes, but not well enough that she could see. There was only the outline of silver essence burning into her eyes while Him swam forward and drew her along with him.
“I can't see,” she murmured.
“It will pass,” he promised, “in a few moments. For now just hold on tight to me and we will make it to the shore.”
“Are we near?”
“Very near,” he promised.
Meredith swallowed. She kept her legs drawn tight and flowed along with his powerful strokes toward the shore. She was surprised by how swiftly they moved and how well he managed to carry both of them through the thick, impossible water. Behind them she could hear waves erupting in constant rage, showering water down around them.
Did the Ancient One rage at them, or was it Gorigast, who she had surely watched dive into the lake from the opposite shore? Either way, a surge of guilt rippled through her to think that he followed them into this dangerous mistake. She would never forgive herself if they reached the other side and he did not, for if she had only been more forgiving of him then perhaps he might have shown them an easier way.
The Goblin Market (Into the Green) Page 21