Sometimes, Gemma could feel Michael watching her. He stood with his arms crossed, watching.
At those times, Gemma tried even harder. But Michael said nothing. He let Gemma go to dance without doing the extra strength.
In some ways it was the best gym class for a long time.
Over the weekend, Gemma still felt sore and tired. She lay on the couch watching TV until her mum turned it off. Then Gemma lay on the couch watching nothing.
Her body felt exhausted. But more than that, her mind felt exhausted too. She was tired of feeling sorry for kicking Michael. She was tired of trying hard. She was tired of everything.
Slowly Gemma dozed off, and woke up to see her mum standing over her, holding a sandwich.
‘Hungry?’ asked Gemma’s mum.
Gemma sat up. As she started eating, she realised that she was very hungry. Vegemite on fresh white bread tasted great.
After a while her mum said, ‘Hey, why don’t you put on your favourite DVD? You know, that Olympics one?’ She winked. ‘I can tell you’ve been working hard at gym.’
‘Great idea. Thanks, Mum.’ Gemma jumped up to find the DVD. Suddenly she didn’t feel quite so tired.
The DVD showed the world’s top gymnasts competing in the individual finals. Gemma had watched it so many times, she felt like she knew all of the routines by heart.
But today the routines looked different. Where she used to just watch with her mouth open in wonder, now she understood what was happening. Gemma could already do some of the simple moves herself. She could even tell where the gymnasts lost marks.
Gemma smiled. She had learnt so much since starting level six.
Then, as she watched one of her favourite gymnasts on beam, Gemma noticed something.
She stopped the DVD and pressed rewind.
There it was again – a change-leap. Just like the one Gemma did in her own floor routine, except on beam.
That started Gemma thinking.
She already had a split-leap in her beam routine. Could she do a change-leap instead? Could she leap high enough to land safely on the beam?
Gemma stood up and marked out a line on the lounge-room floor. She tried the leap – run, run, change …
No.
Gemma landed in a crumpled heap. She hardly had enough time to split her legs, let alone swap them for a second split. She would have to jump much higher than that to do a change-leap on beam.
Gemma replayed the DVD back again. She watched closer than ever before.
Her mind buzzed with the new idea.
If Gemma could do a really good beam routine, then maybe Michael would forgive her for kicking him. If she could be extra good on beam, then she wouldn’t always be yelled at. She wouldn’t always be the worst gymnast.
But how could she leap high enough to swap her legs in the air?
She tried the leap again. This time, Gemma tried to leap extra high.
As she ran into the leap, her arm flew to the side and hit the TV cabinet.
Thwack!
Gemma rubbed her arm. Ouch.
‘Everything OK?’ Gemma’s mum asked from the kitchen.
‘Just trying a few things out,’ said Gemma.
Her mum walked into the room and picked up a glass vase. ‘Just like the good old days,’ she said as she walked out of the room with the vase.
Over the following weeks, Gemma started looking forward to gym again. Her muscles didn’t feel quite so sore and the extra strength didn’t feel quite so hard.
These days, Gemma was much stronger, too. She could feel it when she picked up her school bag full of books. She could feel it as she bounded up the stairs. She could feel it when she turned on a tap after her dad had turned it off hard.
Plus, Gemma felt stronger at gym. Jumping high into a backsault was still hard, but it didn’t make Gemma so tired anymore. Now when she did a handspring, she would push off the vault and feel her body lift in response.
Gemma’s body was doing what she wanted it to do. It was such a good feeling.
Gemma didn’t tell anyone about her new plan for beam. But she practised the new leap at home. She was getting better at the change-leap, but she could barely land on the line.
She kept practising, but the state finals were getting closer. Gemma was almost out of time.
One day on the floor, Gemma decided to practise her new leap instead of normal leaps.
Gemma scanned the floor. Michael was talking to Fiona and moving his arms. The other girls were leaping across the floor.
Quickly Gemma found a crease on the other side of the floor, with the rest of the team between her and Michael.
She started working on the change-leap, over and over.
Run, run, change-leap, land … wobble.
Again.
She could leap OK, but she still couldn’t stop that wobble.
After a few leaps, Gemma scratched her head. She had to leap higher so she had more time to balance at the end. But how?
Then Gemma noticed Kathy watching her. Kathy had a strange look on her face. She didn’t understand what Gemma was doing.
Gemma started walking towards Kathy. It was time to tell Kathy about the new leap. They were best friends, after all.
But as Gemma walked over to Kathy, Michael called the team to start on tumbles – everyone, that was, except Gemma.
‘Those were the worst leaps you’ve ever done, Gemma.’ Michael shook his head, frowning.
Gemma gulped. He had seen her!
‘They weren’t even part of your routine!’ Michael growled.
Not my floor routine, thought Gemma, but she stayed quiet. She couldn’t tell Michael about the new leap. Not yet. Not before she could land it on beam.
‘Keep working on your leaps, Gemma,’ Michael said. ‘Properly this time.’
As she worked on her leaps alone, Gemma grumbled to herself. She had worked so hard, and he still yelled at her.
But when it was time for the extra strength, Michael came over.
‘Skip the extra strength today, Gemma,’ he said. ‘You’re doing well with your routines.’ Then he mumbled, ‘Except for those leaps … ’
Gemma looked up. Did Michael just say something nice to her? Even when he said she was doing well, he did it with a growl.
Gemma bounded over to the rest of the team to stretch, and Michael left the girls on their own. They moved to a corner of the floor and slid into splits.
‘So how does it feel to be back with the team?’ Naomi asked. She leant over to the side so that she didn’t stretch much at all.
‘Pretty good,’ Gemma said. She pushed down a bit harder.
Now that her legs were stronger, they felt a bit tight.
‘Well, this is how it should be,’ Anika said. ‘Michael shouldn’t split us up.’
As they moved through all the different stretches, the girls talked about their routines and the state finals. Fiona was nervous about the competition. Kathy couldn’t wait. They all thought Naomi had a chance to win the trophy.
As they talked and whispered, Gemma felt glad to be stretching with the team again. She felt as though she knew these girls better than her friends at school.
They all knew what it was like to live for gymnastics.
In the change room after class, Gemma whispered to Kathy, ‘Come down to the beams with me.’
‘Why?’ Kathy asked, doing up her shoelace.
‘I want to show you something,’ Gemma said.
Gemma and Kathy sneaked down to the beam area. The level sevens were warming up by themselves. Michael was nowhere to be seen.
Gemma dropped her bag by the low beam and slipped off her shoes.
‘I’m going to add a new leap to my beam routine,’ Gemma said.
‘Is that what you were doing on floor today?’ Kathy asked.
Gemma nodded. ‘What do you think of this?’
She stood next to the low beam and did a change-leap on the floor. She just managed to swap her legs in the air
before landing. Then she jumped up onto the low beam, ready to try the leap.
‘Wait, Gem,’ Kathy looked worried.
‘I know you’re good at leaps, but that’s pretty hard.’
Gemma stood on the end of the low beam and bounced on her toes.
‘I know. That’s the whole point,’ Gemma said. ‘If I can do better on beam then I won’t have to be the worst at everything.’
‘Worst at everything?’ Kathy shook her head. ‘You’re not the worst at everything!’ She still looked worried.
‘You don’t know what it’s like! Getting yelled at, having to do extra strength!’ Gemma’s voice sounded loud. She felt angry at Michael but somehow it sounded like she was angry at Kathy.
‘He yells at me too.’ Kathy looked hurt. Her face went pink. ‘He yells at all of us.’
The two girls looked at each other.
Gemma still felt angry but she didn’t want to fight with Kathy.
‘Who yells at you?’ Suddenly Michael was standing next to the low beam. He had his hands on his hips.
He was frowning more than ever.
Gemma jumped off the low beam. But it was too late – she had been caught.
Kathy’s face had stopped looking pink. Now it was bright red.
‘Have you been on this beam, Kathy?’ Michael said.
Kathy shook her head. She looked like she wanted to cry.
‘Then you can go home now,’ Michael said.
Kathy picked up her bag and looked at Gemma before she walked away. It was just a quick glance, but it was enough. Good luck, it said.
Michael turned to Gemma.
‘What do you think you’re doing?’ Michael yelled. The whole gym went quiet. ‘Have you thought about what might happen if you hurt yourself here? With no coach? What on earth were you thinking?’
Gemma looked at Michael, but she didn’t want to say sorry. She was sick of being yelled at.
‘Well?’ Michael said.
Gemma swallowed the lump in her throat. She couldn’t cry. Not now.
‘Sorry!’ she yelled through a sob. But she didn’t want to say sorry. That didn’t come out right at all.
Michael put his head to the side.
‘Gemma, calm down,’ he said.
Calm down! Michael always yelled. He wasn’t calm. Now Gemma couldn’t stay calm either. ‘My parents pay you heaps of money, and all you do is yell at me!’ Gemma wasn’t planning to say that either. It just came out.
Michael looked even more surprised. ‘Come up to my office, Gemma,’ he said.
Gemma stomped up to Michael’s office. But she didn’t sit down. She still felt angry and annoyed.
‘Sit down, Gemma,’ said Michael. He sounded worried. ‘You can talk to me.’
‘Talk to you?’ Gemma said quietly.
She still didn’t sit down.
Then, suddenly, it all came out.
‘I did talk to you. I said sorry!’ Gemma yelled. ‘I said I was sorry I kicked you. I’m SORRY.’
Michael looked at Gemma with his mouth open.
Gemma puffed hard. ‘But it was an accident,’ she said. ‘I didn’t do it on purpose. I didn’t mean to kick you and I said sorry.’ A tear slid down her cheek and she wiped it away.
Gemma kept going. ‘But you gave me extra strength work and you yell at me all the time. It’s not fair. I didn’t do it to you on purpose, but you keep yelling at me.’
That was it. It was out.
Gemma sat down.
Now it was Michael’s turn to stand up. He walked over to the window, rubbing his chin. ‘I didn’t realise you were so upset,’ Michael said quietly, looking out the window. ‘Sometimes I forget how young you girls are.’
Michael looked out the window for a long time. So long that Gemma started to feel worried. What was Michael thinking? At least when he yelled, you could tell what he was thinking.
Now Gemma had no idea what to expect.
Gemma sat in Michael’s office feeling worried. How did she get herself into this mess? She had just yelled at an adult – her coach! What happens to a gymnast who yells at her coach?
But Gemma had no reason to worry.
When Michael sat down, his face looked kind and a bit sad. Even his bushy eyebrows didn’t seem so gruff. When he spoke, his voice sounded calm. He even said sorry for yelling. It almost felt like he was talking to a friend, or maybe his daughter. He spoke slowly and explained a lot.
It turned out that the extra strength was not punishment. It was to help Gemma get strong – strong enough to do good handsprings. And it had worked. Michael said that Gemma’s vaults were getting better and better.
As Michael talked, Gemma started feeling a bit happier. It didn’t sound like he hated her after all. Michael said that he yelled at Gemma simply because it worked. Each time he yelled, she jumped a bit higher and ran a bit harder.
‘I don’t yell because I’m angry, Gemma,’ Michael said.‘I yell to help you get better.’
Gemma nodded. She started to feel a bit silly about getting so upset.
‘When I yell at Fiona, she just gets scared,’ Michael said.‘Naomi hardly listens when I yell. But you, Gemma, you listen and improve.’
Michael paused. ‘I wouldn’t normally say this,’ he said. ‘But you have the right mix of skill and guts, Gemma.’
Gemma gulped. Michael was talking as though she wasn’t the worst gymnast. He was talking as though she could be really good!
‘I suppose I yell at you because I know how good you could be,’ Michael said.
Gemma gulped again. Suddenly she didn’t feel sad or angry anymore. She felt fantastic. All that yelling was a good thing. And all that work – the sore muscles, the extra effort – she was really getting better.
Gemma felt so good that she couldn’t stay quiet. Straight away she told Michael about her plan for beam.
‘So that’s what you were doing … ’ Michael said. His voice sounded normal – gruff – again. But Gemma didn’t mind.
‘Let’s make a deal,’ Michael said.‘If you only work on the leap during class, I’ll help you with it. It’s not safe on your own.’
Gemma grinned.
This was fantastic.
‘But I want to see your beam routine finished by next Friday,’ Michael said.‘After that, it’s too close to the state finals to change your routine.’
Gemma’s mouth dropped open.
Next Friday?
That was only a week and a half away.
Then there was a knock at the door.
It was Gemma’s dad. ‘I’m looking for Gemma,’ he said as he opened the door. He looked at Gemma. ‘Is everything all right?’ he asked.
Both men looked at Gemma.
‘Yes, uh, sorry.’ Gemma jumped up. She had made her dad wait in the car while she yelled at her coach. It was all turning out even weirder than when Gemma had given Michael a bloody nose.
On the way home, Gemma told her dad everything. It all came out at once. Suddenly she didn’t feel like she had to hide it. Doing the bad vault, feeling like the worst gymnast – she didn’t have to hold it all inside.
When Gemma talked about kicking Michael, her dad chuckled.
‘Wish I’d seen that one,’ her dad said.
For the rest of the evening, Gemma thought about her beam routine. How could she manage to do the change-leap in a week and a half? Even with Michael helping her, Gemma didn’t know if she’d be able to do it by then.
But now Gemma wanted to do the new leap more than ever. Michael thought she could be a good gymnast. Gemma wanted to be the best she could be. If she worked hard, she knew she could do it.
Gemma had a lot of work to do before the state finals, and there wasn’t much time.
The next gym class started with a team meeting. The girls sat on the floor while Michael stood with his hands on his hips.
In many ways nothing had changed. Michael still frowned and yelled. Fiona still looked scared. Naomi prodded a blister on her hand
and didn’t seem to listen. But for Gemma, everything had changed.
When Michael yelled, she didn’t feel scared or angry anymore. She felt like a real gymnast with a big competition ahead. The state finals were important. They were important enough to yell about.
After the talk, the team started on beam. Michael took Gemma aside.
‘Go, Gem,’ Kathy whispered. Then she walked to the high beam.
Gemma had phoned Kathy after the last gym class. The girls had giggled and chatted for an hour about the talk in Michael’s office.
Gemma called out, ‘Thanks, Kathy.’ She was excited and a bit scared about doing her change-leap on the beam.
She showed Michael a change-leap on the floor near the low beam. She did a good leap but still wobbled.
Michael shook his head. ‘You’re leaping like you do on floor,’ he said gruffly. ‘You don’t have to leap so high. Just keep your shoulders straight.’ Then he walked away.
Gemma tried again. She kept her shoulders straight – run, run, change-leap, land.
She didn’t leap so high, but she landed a bit better. How strange. She’d been trying to leap higher, but that was the wrong thing to do.
Gemma smiled to herself. He was loud. He was gruff. But Michael was a really good coach.
Gemma kept practising the leap during gym until Michael called her to work on her other routines. At home, Gemma practised wherever she could.
For the whole week and a half, Gemma worked on the leap. If she wasn’t eating, sleeping or at school, she was practising the leap.
Finally, just in time for the Friday class, Gemma could land the change-leap on the low beam. She felt solid and safe.
But Michael still wouldn’t let her do it on the high beam.
‘Please, Michael,’ Gemma asked as the team walked to the high beam. ‘I know I can do it.’ If she didn’t do the leap on the high beam today, she couldn’t do it in the state finals.
Michael looked at Gemma.
‘It’s close … ’ Michael said quietly.
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