by Lavinia Kent
She walked briskly to the washbasin.
“Ruby.”
She turned to him. His face had grown solemn. “Yes?” she asked.
“We need to talk about the house.”
Bollocks. She’d hoped to avoid this for a little longer. “Madame Rouge’s?”
“You know the answer to that. What are you proposing to do about it? How much longer do you intend to make me wait? I did notice that you still refer to it as home.”
Well, she’d lived here for almost all of her adult life; what did he think she would call it? “I know, but I don’t have much to say.”
“You know I was growing impatient months ago when you would not give me an answer. I was sure you would have one by now.”
She grabbed her chemise and pulled it over her head. “I was sure that I would have one too. But it has not proved so simple.”
“Explain.” He walked up behind her, still nude, and, reaching around her, splashed tepid water from the basin over his chest and face before grabbing a linen towel to dry himself hastily.
“I have not had an offer from anyone I trust. I had hoped that another woman would make me an offer, another madame or a well-kept courtesan, but that has not happened. It seems that no one I trust has ready funds at the moment.”
“Is there anyone that you will trust with it?”
And wasn’t that the problem? Could she think of a single person that she would trust completely with Madame Rouge’s? There were a couple of her girls, or her past girls, who she’d considered, but not one of them did she believe capable of managing the whole affair. She’d considered a team but had not found one that worked. Perhaps some woman with a wealthy benefactor who would watch the finances—maybe she should talk to Swanston about that. No, she couldn’t think of one woman she knew who fit that bill either, and she well knew that benefactors came and went; if one left, either thinking to take ownership of Madame Rouge’s with him or…
“Stop thinking so much. I do understand your feelings, understand that Madame Rouge’s has been your sole responsibility for years, but you must let it go. There must be somebody you trust—or, if not, hire a manager and keep it, but you must be prepared to leave. I am not about to—”
She cut him off. “But I thought you were. Didn’t you tell me that you’d be willing for me to keep my position if that was what I wanted?”
“But it’s not what you want.”
“How—”
“Ruby, you know damn well that you wanted to come away with me to start a new life; don’t pretend differently now.” He stormed across to the bed and sat, pulling on his breeches and then his boots. His expression was fierce, and she could almost hear the curses he was reciting in his head.
“Derek, I don’t want to fight.”
“Then admit the truth.”
And it was the truth. For all her reservations, she was ready to be done with this life, ready to move on with Derek, to find a new way of living. “I just need time.”
“How much time?”
And there was the problem. She didn’t know how long. The idea of leaving might be intoxicating, but actually doing so was frightening. “Time enough to make arrangements.”
“I’ve already given you more than enough time.” Frustration echoed about the room.
She closed her eyes and took a simple day dress from the chair she’d left it over the night before, in preparation for this morning. She pulled it on and turned her back to him. “Will you help me?”
With practiced ease, his fingers tightened the laces. “I do want an answer, Ruby.”
“I know.” She gathered her pale-blond hair and with a vigorous twist wound it into a knot, grabbing pins from the table to fasten it. “And I want to give you an answer, but I don’t have one ready. Can we please delay this discussion? Can I not just be happy to see you for a little longer?” She moved to the heavy red-haired wig that lay upon the dresser. It seemed far too symbolic of all they were discussing, but with no hesitation she picked it up and secured it over her own hair.
He’d returned to his seat on the edge of the bed. “If we must. I do confess that I would far rather be happy than argue, but it cannot be put off forever.”
“I know, and I am not asking for forever.”
“Sometimes it certainly feels like it.”
She bowed her head, feeling the weight of the wig. “Just a little more time.”
“I’ll give you until after Christmas; after that I want an answer.”
She swallowed. So little time. “How can I know…”
“I am not asking for everything to be settled, but you need to be ready to talk, to have made decisions. I can’t stay in London much longer than that. I was hoping you would come with me when next I sail—and I must do that before true winter settles.” He glanced out the window at the bright snow.
Her heart sped. Go with him so soon? Reality warred with fantasy. She did want to go. She truly did, but in her mind it had always been sometime in the future. On the other hand, she could not bear the thought of him leaving without her again. “I will do my best.”
“Do.”
She ignored the hint of a threat in his voice. “Now, what would you like to eat? I think I will expire without a cup of tea.”
—
“I don’t know what to say,” Jasmine said, as she pulled the borrowed robe tighter about herself.
“Why don’t you just tell me what you want,” Ruby said, taking a seat by the hearth, glad of the warm fire.
“I want to live happily ever after with my baby.” Jasmine’s hand moved soothingly over her great belly, but there was no mistaking the irony of her tone.
“And where would you like to do that?” Ruby tried to keep her tone even.
“Why, in a great house in Mayfair, of course.”
Ruby closed her eyes. This was not going well. She could understand her sister’s hostility, but if the girl felt that way, why had she come? “I am trying to help you.”
“Then why don’t you leave me alone?”
She pulled in a deep breath. “If that is truly what you want, I will. But I am not leaving you alone in my room for days and days. I am happy to offer you refuge, but there must be some type of plan.”
Jasmine turned her face to Ruby. “Can we not speak of this now? I do understand. I know that my time is limited, but can’t you give me a little more?”
It was almost like hearing an echo of her earlier conversation with Derek. “I will try, but you must know that time is not on your side.” She focused her gaze on her sister’s belly.
Jasmine placed both hands over it protectively. “I do know that. And I know that I should be reconciled to my situation, but I am not yet. I keep thinking I will wake up and it will all be a dream.”
Ruby almost stood and left the room, but instead she paused. “Tell me, what do you know of me?”
A furrow marked Jasmine’s brow. “I am not sure I understand the question.”
“You clearly knew enough to find me, and you’ve said that you know I am Scarlett’s daughter.” It seemed wrong to say your father’s daughter. “But what else do you know?”
“I know that my brothers have been to this house.”
That was true. Neither one came frequently, but both Scarlett’s heir and his younger son had been here. “I cannot imagine that they told you that.”
A corner of the girl’s pale lips turned up. “No. They did not, but the servants do whisper—as do my friends.”
“Which I imagine is also how you found out who I am.”
“Yes and no. The whispers confirmed it, but it was actually a friend of my mother who first mentioned the matter. I think she thought I would go running to Mama. She did not know me well. I have never done anything to bring harm to my mother. Her life is difficult enough.”
Ruby did understand that but at the same time doubted it. It was hard to believe that the duke’s wife could have lived as difficult a life as her own mother, his mistress
. Still, she definitely understood feeling protective of one’s mother. “I do know that type of friend. My own mother had several of them.”
“Your mother?” A strange look crossed Jasmine’s face, as if she had never considered the fact that Ruby had a mother.
“Yes, my mother.” She debated for a moment and then added, “I know it is strange, but this is the fault of neither of our mothers. My mother found herself in a situation somewhat similar to your own. Her decision was to stay with Scarlett, although marriage would never be possible.”
Jasmine lowered her head, considering this. “She was pregnant?”
“Not in the beginning, no. But she faced shame, and her family refused to support her once it was known that she had been seduced. And then I came along and her fate was fixed. She had no skills and would have starved on the streets if she had not stayed with the duke. Although I will be fair and admit that I think she loved him until the end.”
“She is dead?”
“For many years.”
“And you? How did you fare growing up as a bas…” Jasmine’s voice trailed off.
“As a bastard? It was not bad for most of my life. I imagine my childhood was much the same as any other child of privilege. I knew no want and thought I had my parents’ love. I didn’t know that there was anything strange about my life, even after I discovered my father’s other family.”
Jasmine pursed her lips but did not reply.
Ruby continued, “I do admit that when I became older it was more difficult. I had not realized the constraints that bound me until it was too late. I, too, found that my heart led me where it should not have—and that marriage was not a possibility.”
“Oh.” Jasmine grew even paler, if that were possible.
Ruby reached out and placed a hand on her sister’s arm. “But it was not a bad life, is not a bad life. I made my choices and I have not regretted them. And if your child is a boy, there will be even more choices available. I have known men of all reaches of society who came from—from unusual circumstances.”
“Unusual circumstances. That is a kind way of saying it.” Jasmine turned her face away. “I have no real skills either. I can barely manage to do my own hair. I do speak French and Russian and have always enjoyed arithmetic, but I don’t think I know a single useful thing.” She turned back. “Unless you want to manage an estate or a great home. If you have five dozen servants and need to plan a menu for a dinner for two hundred while the cook and the senior parlor maid squabble, I can help.”
“Perhaps you could find a job as a companion?”
“With the baby?”
“Perhaps not. Although if you said you were widowed…No, most employers still would not wish a child.”
“And I would be recognized. I’ve been in a dozen illustrations in the past season. I’ve seen myself in almost every window of every tobacco shop I’ve passed. For some reason it’s become important that all of London know what I wear to each ball.”
Ruby had to admit she’d seen a couple of them herself. “But…”
“There is no ‘but.’ I am ruined and soon the world will know it. There is no place for me to hide.”
“Perhaps you can wear a disguise.” She patted her own wig. “I could teach you.”
“I do not mean to give offense, but I imagine your appearance raises more questions than it hides.”
That was hard to deny. But, then, she’d always meant to be noticeable. “You’d be surprised. I think that often people are so taken with my appearance that they never look at what is underneath.”
“And what is underneath?”
With only a moment’s thought, Ruby walked to the basin and picked up the cloth, wet it, and began to scrub. Kohl and rouge washed away quickly. Then, still not looking at Jasmine, she pulled the wig from her head and set it upon its stand on her dressing table. A few quick twists and she’d freed her hair from its pins. It fell about her shoulders in a fluffy cloud.
She turned and Jasmine gaped.
Chapter 6
“You look like me, almost exactly like me—if a little rounder.”
“Yes, it is how I first recognized you,” Ruby replied. “My hair is perhaps a shade lighter and not as thick and heavy, but anyone seeing us would know us for family. The first time I saw you, I stopped in my tracks.”
“The first time you saw me? Had you seen me before last night?”
“Yes.” Ruby ran her fingers through her shoulder-length hair. It was so strange to be revealing herself to another woman. Not even her girls knew her natural appearance. “I attended a costume ball a few months ago. I saw you and knew you instantly, although I had never inquired about you before.”
“A masquerade?” Again, Jasmine seemed to grow paler.
“Yes. I went dressed as Rebecca from Ivanhoe. It seemed appropriate to change my red locks for ebony.”
“Ivanhoe? I did love the book. I read it almost as soon as it was published,” Jasmine murmured, clearly not aware that she spoke aloud. Her head came up. “I can’t say that I remember seeing you, but I was at several such affairs this summer.”
“I am sure you were—and it does not matter in any way.”
“No, it does not.” Ruby walked over and took a seat across from her sister, wishing she’d taken a moment to discuss the book, to build the connection between them.
The sisters were both quiet then.
After a few moments Jasmine spoke. “I will try to form a plan. I will not camp on your doorstep for months—or, to be more precise, I will not keep you from your bed.”
“You are welcome to stay as long as needed.” Ruby hoped she did not come to regret the words. “Is anybody likely to realize you have come here? I do not want Scarlett showing up at my door.”
Jasmine considered the question. “I can’t imagine that anyone would guess I would come here. I am not sure anyone knows that I know about you. I’ve never discussed you with anyone. If they search anywhere, it will be with my friends, and perhaps they will send riders out to Father’s estates. And even if Father did know I was here, I cannot imagine him coming after me—or sending one of his men. Can you?”
It was Ruby’s turn to think. “I am not certain—and I don’t know much about your relationship. I do think that he would do whatever was necessary to avoid scandal. But what of your mother and brothers?”
A bitter laugh. “I will be safe for a while—Mother will do whatever my father wants, and my brothers will at least pretend to. Father hates scandal, which is why I am in this predicament. If he had truly been willing to help me, a solution could have been found.”
Ruby was not quite convinced about that. She’d yet to hear of a good solution to pregnancy that did not involve marriage, and Jasmine had been quite clear of her feelings on that subject. Still…“I know you rejected our father’s candidates for matrimony, but might you consider someone different?”
Jasmine looked at her doubtfully, her face a little pinched. “Are you suggesting that you might know someone who…”
Ruby could not contain an ill-timed chuckle. “Don’t look so horrified. You’d be quite surprised about the men I know and the things I know about them. I can think of two lords already who might not mind a pretty young wife who provided them with a ready heir.”
Jasmine raised a brow but did not look insulted by the laugh. “And why would they want such a thing? I cannot imagine any man wishing to raise another man’s child.”
“Then you have lived in a very small world. There are many reasons, goodness among them. Although I admit the two I’m thinking of have no such pure motive. One fears he is unable to have children of his own—and I daresay he is right. He also has an uncle and first cousin he despises and he cannot imagine the estate falling to them. The other simply has no fondness for women and would welcome a shield from the comments of the world and his matchmaking mama.”
“The first, I think I understand. I know of couples who fail to have children, but I thought it was b
ecause of the woman. Is that not how these things work?”
Ruby let out a long sigh. “In some cases it is the woman, and there are many cases where it is impossible to tell, but there are other cases where reason can only lead one to believe it is the husband. The most obvious case is that of a man who cannot sustain an erection.”
Jasmine blinked at her.
Ruby wanted to swear out loud. How could a girl not know the most basic facts of anatomy? “Do you know about male and female body parts and how children are conceived?”
Holding her gaze, Jasmine responded, “I would rather think so.” She glanced down at her extended belly.
“Yes, that would lead one to believe that you know what happened, but I’ve met girls who sincerely believed they became pregnant through kissing or even eating certain things. It is contrary to everything that seems possible, but it is the truth.”
Jasmine straightened her shoulders. “I know what happened.”
“Fine. Then did you notice how either before or after you had relations, your lover’s penis was smaller and softer?”
White teeth nibbled an already marked lower lip. “Yes, after, I think. I confess that my thoughts were elsewhere, and it was certainly neither small nor soft when he first…” Her voice trailed off. Her eyes grew clouded.
Ruby hurried the conversation along. “Fine. Well, when the penis is hard, that is an erection. Not all men are capable of having one.”
“Truly?”
Ruby held back a sigh. “Yes. And the man must have an erection in order to penetrate the woman; otherwise it is not possible. Have you ever seen a baby’s penis, seen a nappy being changed?”
Jasmine shook her head.
How was that possible? “Well, I cannot truly compare a baby to an adult man, in any case. Some men cannot have an erection—and some can have intercourse but still never father children, even if they have multiple partners and some of those women have children with other men.”