by B. B. Hamel
As I cut the bike’s engine and climbed off, three people emerged out onto the stoop. Instantly I recognized my mother and her stern expression. She was clearly pissed off that I was late and had ditched the car. My new stepfather looked pretty typical, like your classic old and white business CEO, not too fit but not flabby either. He had a warm smile on his face.
And finally, my gaze fell on her.
I had a brief moment of full-on shock as my eyes ran up and down her body.
It was her, my paradise bride. Alexa, the girl I hadn’t stopped dreaming about ever since I went to train in the jungle.
How was that fucking possible?
Everyone was looking at me, and so I had to get my shit together pretty fast. I took a deep breath and pulled off my helmet, ignoring the girl for the time being.
But she clearly recognized me, because she looked like she had seen a ghost as soon as my face was visible to her.
She remembered me, then. Not a surprise considering how hard I had made her body come over and over, but still. It had been a long time, and I did look different. I was harder, darker, and stronger than the last time I had seen her.
When I shook her hand, I knew she was on the verge of passing out. Cindy quickly ushered everyone inside to have lunch, and as we moved toward the kitchen, Alex hung back.
I stared at her body, at the familiar curves, but most of all at her angry expression.
The girl was fucking pissed, and I had no clue why.
Sure, I fucked her and left, but that wasn’t my fault. I didn’t tell her about the training because what was the point? It was a vacation fling, and we both knew it. It was an absolutely batshit crazy coincidence that our parents had gotten married, but that sort of shit happened all the time. It wasn’t like I knew anything about it.
Except she looked like she was about to have a fucking heart attack.
“You know,” she said loudly, “I’ve always wanted to see a motorcycle up close.”
The group stopped walking. “Honey, can’t that wait?” her dad said.
“Why don’t you two get everything ready while Cole here shows me his bike?”
I grinned at her. What a fucking flimsy excuse. “Sure thing. It’d be my pleasure,” I said, overly formal.
My mother scowled. “Okay,” she said. “Make it quick.”
I followed Alex back out the front door. As soon as it shut, she whirled on me like a demon, spitting rage and fire from her eyes.
“Where the fuck have you been?”
I stared at her, completely taken aback by her fury. I’d had plenty of chicks get pissed when I didn’t call them back the next day, but this was something different.
“Good to see you too, princess,” I said.
“Don’t give me that shit, you asshole.”
I laughed. Her anger was comical in its intensity. “Look, I’m sorry I didn’t call. You know how things are.”
“No, you idiot, you jerk, you, you—”
“Asshole?” I finished.
“Yes, asshole!”
I laughed, shaking my head at her. “I know being with me is an experience, but you seem a little too angry.”
“It’s not that, you idiot! Don’t you know?”
I cocked my head at her, confused. “Know what? I’ve been in the damn jungle for the last year.”
She took a deep breath. “The jungle?”
“Training. I’m a fighter, remember? I haven’t had Internet, email, phone calls, or pussy since I last saw you.”
She looked at me silently for a second, still clearly fuming but getting herself slowly under control. “So you don’t know?” she asked.
“Did you have my baby or something?”
She rolled her eyes. “God, no. Thankfully.”
“Please. You’d be honored to have my kids.”
“Listen to me,” she said seriously. “Remember that wedding ceremony?”
“Sure,” I said, getting nearer to her. She reacted the way I remembered, like being close to me was a fucking drug. And honestly, it felt the same damn way to me. All the memories were rushing back all over again, but there she was, right in front of me, still as fucking sexy as I remembered. “But I’m more interested in what happened after.”
“No, listen. That ceremony was real.”
I laughed. Was she actually crazy or something? “No, it wasn’t. It was some stupid tourist thing.”
“Normally, yeah. But when I got home and tried to register to vote, I found out that I was legally married to some asshole I barely knew.”
She couldn’t be serious. She wanted me to believe that she and I were actually married, for real?
“There’s no way,” I said. “It was in Thailand. How would it be official here?”
“You dickhead,” she said, exasperated. “I’ve been dealing with this ever since I got back. Believe me, we’re really married.”
I stared at her for a long second and finally burst out laughing. It was the most hilarious and insane thing a girl had ever done to me, and I just couldn’t believe she was trying to pull it off. I had to admit that she was pretty impressive, but there was just no way I was married. Let alone to my new stepsister.
“Nice try,” I said, turning away. “Come on, let’s eat. I haven’t had a real meal in a fucking year.”
“Cole,” she said, still angry. “We chose the deluxe package. Remember that?”
I paused at the doorknob. “Sure, I remember.”
“But we didn’t get anything extra. Right?”
I nodded slowly. “Right.”
“Deluxe meant that it was real, not that it was anything special.”
I frowned at her for a second. Thinking back to it, I did find it strange that their special marriage package hadn’t come with any extras. But no, how could we even have known that? Maybe the deluxe package just meant the priest didn’t pass out drunk at the end.
“Good try,” I said again. “But if you wanted me to finally fuck you, all you had to do was ask nicely.”
She gaped at me as I opened the door and walked back inside.
My stepsister was fucking gorgeous. She was sexy and wild and passionate, and possibly fucking insane. Hardly the girl I remembered from paradise.
So why did I have a nagging feeling in the back of my mind?
3
Alexa
How could he not believe me?
I’d been waiting nearly a year for that moment. I’d been thinking about it, dreaming about it, hoping for it. In my head, I would tell him about the marriage, and he would instantly apologize and beg to make things right. He would be so hurt that he let me suffer through this sham marriage for so long that he’d swoop me up into his arms and carry me off into the sunset to make sweet, tender love to me.
Well, maybe not that last bit. But I did expect some sort of apology, maybe even a little surprise.
Instead, he didn’t believe me. He thought I was lying!
I couldn’t believe I hadn’t realized his mother was Cindy. They had the same last name, after all. But there were no pictures of him and her together, and she never mentioned having a son in the press. I could never have imagined that they were mother and son, not in a thousand years.
As I stood there alone on the stoop, staring at the door, I felt angrier than I ever had in my life up to that point. How arrogant did he have to be to think a woman would lie about being married to him? What possible reason could I have for that? I was fuming, ready to storm inside and beat the living crap out of him.
He was so damn cocky, so damn full of himself. That asshole was probably thinking about how much of a psycho I was being or something. I was so mad I could scream.
And yet. seeing him again had dredged up a bunch of feelings, stuff I had thought was long-buried. As soon as his helmet was off and I got a look at his chiseled face, his muscular body, and his piercing blue eyes, I knew that I was happy he was back. I wanted him to take me up into my bedroom and make me feel the way he h
ad back in paradise.
And then reality came crashing back when I realized that he was my stepbrother. And also my husband.
I took a deep, calming breath. That asshole really did think he was so amazing that somebody would lie about being married to him, but the joke was on him. All I needed to do was show him the marriage certificate, which I could easily print off my laptop.
Lunch came first. I had to get through the next hour or so, and then I could prove the marriage to Cole. And I couldn’t let Cindy and Dad find out about anything. For one, I had kept it from Dad for a long time already, but more importantly, they were dealing with enough scandal already. They didn’t need their irresponsible daughter married to her equally crazy stepbrother.
Except I wasn’t crazy. I was just married to my asshole stepbrother.
As I pushed open the front door, I could still barely believe that was true.
“Lots of hard work,” Cole was saying as I walking into the kitchen
Cindy turned to me. “Cole was just telling us about his time in Thailand.”
“He was training with a master fighter out in the jungle,” Dad said a little too reverently.
“I’m sure it was hard,” I replied, uninterested.
“I’ve had harder,” he said, grinning at me.
I rolled my eyes at him and Dad gave me a look.
“Anyway,” Cindy said, “let’s go into the dining room.”
We filed in and took our seats at the table. In the kitchen, I heard some staff bustling around, getting the meal ready. I felt a little weird about having staff suddenly, but apparently Cindy had insisted on it. Dad and I had gotten along just fine without having servants, but I wasn’t about to say anything.
“Looks great,” Dad said as the food was served.
“My first real meal in a long time,” Cole said.
“Really? What did you eat out there, bugs?” I asked him.
“Sometimes, sure. Mostly vegetables, though.”
“No talking about eating bugs at the table,” Cindy said. “Plus, you didn’t really eat bugs. Did you?”
Cole grinned and just began to dig into his food without answering. Cindy sighed, taking small bites of her salad. Dad gave me another look, and I knew exactly what he was thinking. It was probably pretty obvious that I was annoyed with Cole, but how could I explain it to him? Better to let him wonder.
“So, Alexa,” Cindy said, “how’s school?”
“It’s good,” I answered. “Can’t complain.”
“Berkeley, right?”
“Yep.”
“Smart girl,” Cole said. “Must be nice. Makes your father here proud, I bet.”
“Very proud,” Dad said.
“Where did you go to school?” I asked Cole, knowing the answer.
“Nowhere,” Cindy muttered.
“Nowhere is right,” he said loudly, ignoring her. “I skipped the bullshit and went right into training.”
“Must be rough. Being an uneducated person, I mean,” I said acidly. I knew I was being a jerk, but I was just too annoyed with him to care.
Dad and Cindy both stared at me.
“Oh, it’s not so bad,” Cole said simply, as if I hadn’t just insulted him. “It’s easier since I’m married, you know?”
Dad looked at him. “I didn’t know you were married.”
I cringed. Dad was taking the bait. I gave Cole a look but he ignored me.
“Oh yeah, Frank, I sure am. Married to fighting, I mean. She’s a crazy mistress, but I love her.”
He was looking at me the whole time he was speaking, and I wanted to throw my fork right in his eye.
“Ah, that’s good,” Dad said. “It’s good to love what you do.”
“Even something so violent and dangerous,” Cindy said.
“Maybe dangerous, and definitely violent, but people do crazy things all the time.” Cole looked at me. “Right, Alex?”
“I wouldn’t know,” I spat back. “I’m too busy, you know, being a normal person.”
Not marrying a stranger and then traipsing off into the jungle, I wanted to add, but I didn’t.
Dad looked between the two of us. “I don’t think fighting is crazy or abnormal,” he said, oblivious.
“I do,” Cindy said.
Cole glared at her, and I couldn’t help but wonder what her deal was. Did she seriously care so much about what Cole did that she was going to make passive snipes about it at lunch?
But no, I didn’t care about that. I didn’t feel bad for Cole. I didn’t care if his smiling blue eyes were piercing into me, making me want to cross my legs. I didn’t care if I kept imagining the way his fingers had made my back arch all that time ago.
I didn’t care that he was the last guy I had kissed. Or that he was my stepbrother.
I just wanted a damn divorce.
We started eating then and the conversation drifted toward more normal topics, like Dad and Cindy’s jobs. Apparently, things weren’t all they were cracked up to be in the company, and life was pretty stressful. But they seemed to genuinely enjoy each other’s company, or at least for as long as lunch lasted.
“So, Alexa,” Cole said suddenly during a lull. “Any men in your life?”
“Cole,” Cindy said.
“What? I just want to inquire after my new stepsister’s virtue.”
“My virtue is none if your business,” I said.
“Can we stop saying ‘virtue’?” Dad asked sheepishly.
“Don’t be so uptight, sis,” Cole said, learning forward. “I just want to get to know you better.”
“That’s a wonderful idea!” Cindy said suddenly. “You two should get to know each other better.”
“Oh, I’m sure you want to learn all about me. Right, sis?”
I nearly gagged. “That’s okay.”
“Alexa,” Dad said sternly. “Don’t be rude. We’re family now.”
“That’s right, Alex. We’re going to be very close,” Cole added.
That smug bastard. He’d been flirting with me all afternoon, hinting at our past right in front of our parents. It was all I could do not to explode. He was such a jerk. I wanted to wipe that cocky smile off his face.
“I have an idea. Why don’t the two of you go to dinner, on me?” Cindy said.
“Perfect,” Cole said quickly. “Tomorrow?”
“I don’t know,” I stumbled, trying to think up an excuse.
“She’s free,” Dad cut in. “Right, honey?”
Everyone was staring at me, and I knew I couldn’t refuse. It would look way too suspicious, even more suspicious than I already did.
“Okay,” I said softly.
“Great. It’s settled. I’ll pick the place. We’ll hammer out the details later,” Cindy said, clapping her hands.
Great. Not only did he think I was a psycho stalker, but now I was going to have to go on a date with him? I couldn’t take any more. I stood up abruptly.
“Excuse me. I’m not feeling well,” I said.
Dad looked concerned. “Was it the food? I’ll talk to the staff.”
“No. I’m just exhausted. Excuse me.”
I turned and left the dining room, not bothering to look back.
I knew I probably looked even crazier to him storming off. I could only imagine what our parents were thinking. But if I had to sit for one more second at that table with that smug, self-centered, gorgeous asshole, I was going to scream.
I went upstairs as quickly as I could and closed my bedroom door, flopping down on the bed. I closed my eyes and breathed, slowly getting myself under control.
Cole was back. My mistake husband, my secret shame, my stepbrother. The guy that made my body feel things I never thought I could feel. He had been so charming back in paradise, but now he seemed only cocky and brash.
Part of me had wanted him to come back, not so that I could divorce him, but so that I could get to know him. Yeah, it was crazy. We only knew each other for a few days, but still. Something
felt right when I was with him, like it would be easy to be myself.
Plus, he was absolutely stunning. Even his smell drove me insane, which was totally unlike me. I didn’t usually get really into a guy’s looks, but he was something else, something I couldn’t explain. And I felt it right between my legs every time he grinned at me, even when he was being an ass.
But I couldn’t let him keep thinking that I was just some crazy stalker. I grabbed my laptop and navigated to the official marriage registrar, dealing with the agonizingly slow website until finally I found it.
Our marriage license. I hadn’t looked at it in a long time, and it felt like it wasn’t real. But I knew it was since it was from a government website and was on official government letterhead with all the seals and whatever.
As I went to hit print, there was a soft knock at my door.
“Yeah?” I called out.
“It’s me.” Cole’s voice.
“No, thanks.”
The door opened and he came inside, shutting it behind him.
“You can’t just barge in here,” I said, annoyed.
“Your dad sent me to check on you.”
I sat up, frowning. “Well, I’m fine.”
“You sure? Looked like you weren’t fine at lunch.”
“Yeah, well, you’re an asshole, and I’m looking forward to when you’re out of my life.”
He laughed, coming closer. I took a sharp breath of air into my lungs as he looked around my room, clearly judging the décor. I hadn’t updated it since I was in high school, so it was embarrassingly late-2000s, but whatever.
“Cool posters,” he said.
“Thanks.”
He picked up a Nirvana CD from my dresser. “You a fan?”
“Yes. Don’t touch my stuff.”
He put it back. “Me too. Nevermind is my favorite album.”
“Mine too,” I said grudgingly.
“See, sis, we have so much in common.” He sat down on the edge of my bed.
“Stop calling me sis.”
“What should I call you then? Wife?”
“That’d be more appropriate,” I mumbled.
“Come on, Alex. You think I really believe that shit? I know you’re just trying to get back at me for fucking you and then disappearing.”