by B. B. Hamel
I looked around and spotted him across the way. I watched as he approached a group of men and began talking to them. They looked like they all knew each other, shaking hands and laughing. I watched as Cole took over their conversation, dominating whatever they were talking about. He seemed completely at ease and in control, totally calm and collected. In the middle of the sea of wild people, Cole was like an oasis of cool and collected confidence.
Meanwhile, Lacey was still scouting out the crowd. I was afraid that if I turned my back on her for too long that she’d end up going home with the first mildly attractive guy that spoke to her.
Cole came back a few minutes later and sat back down. “What was that?” I asked him.
“What do you care?”
“Curious, I guess.”
He leaned in toward me. “Curious about me?”
“Yeah, I am.”
“I knew you would be, wife. Can’t help yourself.”
“I’m just trying to be nice.”
He smirked. “Sure you are. Well, that was just business.”
“Just business?”
He leaned back in his seat. “Sure. Business.”
“You’re so mysterious,” I said sarcastically.
Whatever comeback he had prepared fell short as the crowd began to cheer, drowning him out. I looked over toward the ring as men began to climb inside.
They were muscular and mostly naked, though not as large as Cole was. I looked at him and he nodded at the ring, a little smile on his face. The excitement of the crowd began to build, the electric shiver of excitement running through our bodies.
It was the buzz before something happened. It was the buildup to the fight. I glanced at Lacey, and I knew she felt it, too. The rush of excitement, anticipation, and even a little bit of fear.
It was exhilarating. I loved how in tune with the crowd I felt as the bell rang and the two men attacked each other savagely.
I didn’t think I liked violence. Well, I knew that I didn’t. That wasn’t what I liked about the fight, honestly. I could have gone without watching the thing entirely. But the feeling of being there with the crowd as we cheered the men on, the two of them pitting their bodies against each other, well, it was incredible.
They were at the pinnacle of their physical skills, and we were watching them work as hard as they possibly could to destroy their opponent. MMA was different from boxing; there was a wider variety of moves allowed, not just punching. The two men kicked and wrestled and punched each other, and the fight went for a few rounds, seemingly close.
And I was on the edge of my seat the entire time. I could feel Cole next to me, and he felt it too, that same adrenaline boost. When the taller man landed a rough punch on the smaller one, knocking him down, the crowd went absolutely insane. The taller man pounced on the smaller one, pummeling him, and then the fight was over.
It happened so fast. One second they looked evenly matched, though both of them pretty were beat up, and the next second the one man was standing in the middle of the ring, victorious.
The crowd was on its feet, cheering wildly. Cole was clapping, a huge, vicious smile on his face. I couldn’t stop myself from cheering along.
It was such a rush. I’d never experienced anything like it before. Although the fight still wasn’t really my thing, I was beginning to understand why Cole loved it and why so many people wanted to get involved with it.
“Come on,” Cole said over the roar of the crowd.
He shifted his way through the seats, and I had to struggle to keep up. Lacey was right behind me. I gave her a look, but neither of us knew where Cole was going. We went back up the ramp and toward the front. Cole pushed open an unmarked door and led us through a back hallway and into another room.
The sounds of the crowd receded, and I glanced at Lacey again. She gave me a confused smile but didn’t say anything.
This was smaller, more intimate. There were still a good amount of people in there, but it was quieter. There was a bar in the back with a TV showing replays of the fight just above it. Men and women all sat around talking, drinking, and watching each other.
“What’s this?” I asked Cole.
“Bar for the fighters,” he grunted.
“Oh hell yeah,” Lacey whispered. “Showtime.”
She disappeared toward a table of young men before I could say anything. I couldn’t believe how forward she was being, but then again, you never knew with Lacey.
“Come on,” Cole grunted.
We made our way to the bar. Several people in the room gave Cole a nod of recognition, and he nodded back, though nobody came up to him. We sat down on stools and ordered drinks.
“How many people in here do you know?” I asked him.
“Most of them.”
“These are your people, then, I guess.”
“Used to be.”
We got our drinks and I looked at him, interested. There seemed to be something bugging him, though he wasn’t saying what.
“What do you mean by that?”
“Since I was gone for so long, it’s like they all forgot about me.”
“You were gone a long time. You’ll get back into it.”
He nodded. “I know. It’s okay.”
“When do you fight again?”
I didn’t know why I asked, because I shouldn’t have cared. I just wanted my divorce and that was that. But being there, in that crowd, I suddenly had a new respect for what Cole did.
“Soon,” he said. “Very soon.”
I sighed, sipping my drink. He didn’t seem very talkative, and I didn’t feel like drawing him out all night. If this was his way of convincing me to stay married to him, he wasn’t doing a good job.
As I sat there looking around the room at all the interesting people, at the trophies lining the walls and the women in too-short dresses, I couldn’t help but wonder why he even wanted me around. The fight seemed so exciting, almost glamorous, and I was just a regular, boring girl. There didn’t seem to be any reason for him to want to mess with me so much. It wasn’t like he actually wanted to be my husband; I couldn’t imagine that was the case, at least.
“Are you sure it’s a good idea to leave your friend over there alone?” Cole grunted at me, breaking the silence.
“She’s a big girl. Plus, she does this a lot.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Yeah?”
“She doesn’t mean anything by it. If I really cared, I’d tell her.”
“Bet she doesn’t do it in a fighter bar much.”
“What’s that mean?”
“Means these aren’t your usual guys, sweetheart. She should be careful.”
I looked over and watched Lacey take a shot, laughing loudly with the group of guys. They seemed harmless enough, or at least they weren’t the scariest guys in the place. She was going to be fine.
“Since when do you care?” I asked, frustrated. “And what am I doing here, anyway?”
“Having a drink.”
“What’s your game?” I was about ready to get up and leave. I was suddenly frustrated again as the memories of the last year came back to me. It had all been pushed to the background because of the excitement of the fight, but I couldn’t hold it all back forever.
He gave me a long, penetrating look. I felt a shiver run down my spine. “See that guy over there?” Cole asked, nodding across the room.
I risked a glance in that direction and saw a man sitting at a table with an older woman.
“Sure,” I said.
“He’s a pimp and a drug dealer. And he’s one of the better trainers in the business.”
“Seriously?”
“And that guy,” Cole went on, “feeding a shot to your friend, he’s deadly as hell on his feet, an awesome striker. I’m pretty sure his fists could break concrete.”
I raised an eyebrow, watching the guy. He seemed so normal and harmless.
“That guy is a thief. That guy’s a drug addict. That guy can strangle you out in three seconds. That g
irl’s a fighter, too.”
I sighed, sipping my drink. “Okay, I don’t get this.”
“These are my people, Alex. This is who I am.”
“You’re not a pimp or a drug dealer.”
“No,” he grunted. “But I am a fighter.”
“So what?”
“So, I don’t belong in your world. You’re like my mother, clean and proper. I live my life fast and hard.”
I felt my anger rising again but forced it back down inside me. For as annoying as he could be, I was surprised by how open he was. It was like he was trying to bring me into his world but didn’t know how to do it.
And I didn’t know if I wanted to see it. Part of me wanted him to just be that guy from the vacation. I wanted him to stay a faceless and nameless force that I needed to exorcise from my life. I didn’t want to get to know him, because I was afraid that I was going to like what I found out.
“Then divorce me if you really think that.”
“Not yet.”
Before I could respond, a man suddenly loomed up in my peripheral vision.
“Cole,” he said, “I’m surprised to see you here.”
Cole barely acknowledged him. “Ronnie.”
I looked up at the guy named Ronnie. He was tall, maybe as tall as Cole, and about as built. He had a scar down his lip, making him look like he was constantly sneering. His eyes were so brown that they were almost black.
“Thought you ran away.”
“You know I didn’t,” Cole grunted.
“Yeah, I know. You were busy sucking Skad’s dick out in the jungle.”
Cole looked up at Ronnie then, his expression completely blank. “You should walk away now.”
“Nah, don’t think I will. See, you’re a low-life piece of shit, and I don’t want you coming back here.”
Cole sighed, slugged back his drink, and then slowly stood up. “All right. If that’s what you want.”
The two men squared off, and there was a hush over the room. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest, trying to explode out of my rib cage. I was terrified that violence was coming, violence like the kind I had seen in the ring. But I wasn’t sure I was ready to see it up close.
And then Ronnie burst out laughing, and Cole grinned, and they threw their arms around each other, hugging. The room resumed talking as they laughed and embraced.
“You piece of shit,” Cole said. “Jealous motherfucker.”
“Jealous? Fuck yes I’m jealous. You got to train with fucking Skad.”
“Alex,” Cole said, looking at me, “this is Ronnie. He’s my old training partner.”
“Well hello there,” Ronnie said, turning to me.
“Nice to meet you.” I was so relieved that I could hardly form words.
“I think we scared the lady,” Ronnie said to Cole. “Listen, Alex, how about I buy you a drink?”
“Careful,” Cole said to him.
Ronnie raised an eyebrow at him. “What? She yours?”
“I’m not anybody’s,” I said.
“That’s my stepsister.”
“Stepsister?” Ronnie burst out laughing again. It was an infectious sound, and I found myself giggling with him. “Can’t believe there’s finally a girl you can’t actually fuck.”
Cole gave me a grin as Ronnie calmed down and sat with us. He ordered new drinks for everyone, and then Ronnie and Cole began to talk shop. I got lost in their back and forth banter about the different fighters. Ronnie caught Cole up on what had happened since he had been gone, which apparently was a lot.
I kept glancing over at Lacey. She seemed okay, though she was awfully close to that one dangerous boy, and I was pretty sure she was hammered. I didn’t care if she wanted to go home with him or whatever; I just wanted her to be safe. Cole noticed me glancing at her and gave me a look, like he was reassuring me or something.
An hour and more passed that way, and the night was getting late. We finished off our third round, and Ronnie leaned back in his chair, checking his watch.
“Shit,” he said. “Time to get the fuck out.”
“Why? Got an early date tomorrow?”
“Nah,” Ronnie said, looking nervous. “I’m just beat. That’s all.”
“Come on, man. One more round.”
“Look, we should go.”
“What’s your problem?”
Ronnie took a deep breath and sighed. “Look, man, Trent is going to be here soon.”
Cole got serious. “So the fuck what?”
“Who’s Trent?” I asked.
“Some mindless goon,” Cole said.
Ronnie gave him a look. “The last time Cole and Trent saw each other, Cole was smashing Trent’s face into a wall.”
“We don’t get along,” Cole grunted.
“Why?”
“Cole got that training gig and Trent wanted it, so Trent thought he’d fuck Cole up.”
“He’s an idiot.” Cole paused and sighed. “There’s more to it than just that.”
“He is an idiot,” Ronnie agreed, “but he’s undefeated since you left.”
“Who cares? He fights nobodies.”
“Actually,” Ronnie said, “he has some good names under his belt. Come on, man, let’s get out of here.”
“Fuck that,” Cole growled. “Trent can fuck off.”
Just as Cole was beginning to get annoyed, I heard something from over toward Lacey’s table. I looked over and saw the guys getting up, looks of horror on their faces. There was a slight commotion. I quickly got out of my chair and ran over.
“What’s happened?” I asked.
“She’s puking!”
I looked over and, sure enough, there was Lacey on her hands and knees, puking all her drinks out.
“Oh shit,” I said, running to her side.
“I’m pukinggggg,” Lacey groaned.
“I know. I know.”
She finished and looked up at me, still clearly wasted. The guys were all yelling as Cole and Ronnie waded through the crowd.
“Now we can go,” Cole grunted.
“Sorry, girl,” Lacey slurred. “I ruined your date.”
“Wasn’t a date,” I said.
Cole swooped down and grabbed Lacey, slinging her over his shoulder. “Come on.”
The bartender was yelling, but we ignored him as Ronnie and Cole made a path through the crowd. Lacey’s ass was hanging out from her short dress, and I did my best to keep it covered as we went out into the night.
“Holy shit, did you see her hurl?” Ronnie cackled.
“She was like a dragon,” Cole said.
“Shuddup,” Lacey groaned.
I stood out in the street and flagged a cab.
“I’ll leave you here, man,” Ronnie said.
“Good seeing you, brother.”
“Same to you.” Ronnie grinned at me. “Be good to your stepbrother, Alex.”
“Bye, Ronnie.”
Cole gently pushed Lacey into the back of the cab, and we both followed her in. I gave the driver our address.
“If she pukes,” the driver said, “it’s double.”
Cole burst out laughing, and I couldn’t help but laugh along. Even though it had been a weird night in a weird place, I had to admit that I’d had a good time. I liked Ronnie, and Cole seemed nicer when he was around, not quite so gruff.
I didn’t love Cole’s world. It was violent and seedy. But I maybe understood where he was coming from, why he felt the way that he did. I didn’t want to stay married to the guy, but I didn’t hate him quite so much.
“Take us home,” Cole grunted at the driver, and we pulled out into traffic.
6
Cole
It was early the next morning, the sun just peeking over the horizon, as I finished my run. I hated getting up early, but I could barely sleep the night before. I kept thinking about her, about my stepsister, about my fucking wife.
I’d never brought a girl around my life like that before. It felt safer because s
he was my stepsister, but it was definitely far from safe. We were married, and I kept imagining all the dirty shit I wanted to do to her body.
I knew I could make her wet like a waterfall with just a touch. I wanted that soaking pussy to grip my cock like a vice, and it drove me fucking crazy. The run did barely anything to get her out of my brain.
Why the fuck didn’t I just divorce her and be done with it?
I was a masochist and knew it.
“Good morning,” Cindy said as I came into the kitchen. “You’re awake early for once.”
“Good morning,” I grunted at her, filling up my coffee mug. I felt the two-day stubble on my chin and resolved to shave.
“How are you adjusting to the new house?”
I shrugged. “Fine. How are you adjusting to your new husband?”
“Frank is a good man. I wish you’d get to know him.”
“I’m sure you wish a lot of things, Cindy.”
“Don’t be a brat,” she spat at me. “You can at least be civil.”
I took a deep breath and let it out. “Fine. Frank seems nice enough.”
She nodded curtly. “Thank you.”
“I’m told there’s trouble in paradise, though.”
“With Frank? Things are great.”
“Your job.”
“Ah.” She nodded and looked away. “That’s great, too.”
I knew she was lying. My mother had only ever cared about one thing, and that was power. People sometimes called her the Ice Queen, and for good reason. I liked to call her Mussolini behind her back. She was intense and task-driven, always on to the next thing that would further her desires.
We were similar like that. I was driven to be the best at what I did, just like she was. The biggest difference was, Cindy was willing to sacrifice anyone or anything for her own personal gain.
I believed in hard work. I trained my ass off and put my body on the line. I didn’t need anything from anyone, and I never would. I also didn’t believe in fucking others over just because you wanted something.
“Not what I heard,” I said.
She gave me a frown. “My work is not your concern, Cole.”
“Please, mother. You’ve been trying to get me to act proper for years because of your job.”
“And now you’re interested?”