by Finn, Emilia
“The hat rack?” My lip curls back. “That’s not safe. How does he know you won’t accidentally hurt yourself?”
She scoffs. “Now who’s judging? And because if I hurt myself, he’ll beat me black and blue until I learn not to be so stupid. He told me when I was little to never touch his belt.” She shrugs. “I was warned, so if I touch it and blow my face off, then it’s my own damn fault.”
My eyes widen. That was a speech she’s said and heard a billion times in the past. My mom is always busy, always tired, always working, sometimes snappy and mean with her words, but she would never talk to me like that.
That cop I thought was cool twenty minutes ago is a straight up prick.
I take the ruler from her hands and toss it to the desk. “Wanna go for a walk?”
“You can’t do that!” Sour-sister number one pops to her feet and surges forward with her hands on her hips. “You can’t leave this room. Daddy said so.”
I scoff. “Your daddy can go fuck himself with a metal ruler. Now go sit back down and play with your dollies, little girl.”
Her eyes widen and flicker between me and Elizabeth. “She’s just the help!”
“And yet, she’s way cooler. I guess us poor kids have enough money to buy brains and some tact. Now we’re gonna stick together the way rich folks do at stupid dinner parties. Let’s go.” I take Elizabeth’s hand, pulling her off the desk and around to my back so she doesn’t have to look at the bitches. “If my mom comes looking, tell her we went for a walk. She’ll know where to find me.”
“You can’t leave!”
I stop and swing back around when the girl grabs my arm. She literally growls and bares her teeth.
“Stop me.” Our noses almost touch, and she backs up an inch when her eyes lock onto mine. “Sit the fuck down and stay away from me. They say we’re family now, but they’re wrong. You and your sister are spoiled brats, and I like to keep my connections classier than that. Elizabeth is the only cool person I’ve met since stepping into this club; if I ever walk into a room and find you beating on her again, I’ll flatten you. I don’t hit girls, but I have no problem taking out a bully.” I flick her hand off hard enough that it yanks her shoulder and makes her cry. “Stay away from me.”
She slowly backs up until she bumps into her sister. Holding her arm, her eyes fill with tears and force me to roll mine and drag Elizabeth through the door. The hallway is empty, and voices fill the office my mom and I went into when we first got here. I don’t go in there. Instead, I lead Elizabeth to the stairs and down.
“What is this place, anyway? It’s creepy.”
“Club.” She catches up and walks beside me rather than behind. Her legs are shorter than mine, so she has to work harder to keep up. “People come in here and dance every night. They… uh…” We reach the bottom step and stop. “They do naughty things here.”
“Naughty like what?” I continue walking when she looks away to hide the way her face has turned red.
“Like, they sometimes sell pills to people that make them dance faster.”
I frown. “Drugs?”
She shrugs. “My dad never calls them that, but I guess. They also wear guns and stuff…” She hesitates. “But apart from my dad, they’re not the police. So I don’t think they’re supposed to be wearing them.”
“Aren’t the police supposed to stop people from doing drugs and carrying guns? He wears that shiny badge, but he lets people do bad things?”
She flexes her fingers in my hand and hurries to keep up. “I don’t think he’s a very good policeman,” she murmurs. “I don’t think he follows the law like regular people.”
I push the front doors open and glance back toward the club when sunlight floods in and warms my jeans. Nobody comes running for us, so I lead Elizabeth through and close it again at our backs. “So your dad is like a vigilante police? A bit like Walker, the Texas Ranger?” My voice is hopeful, but it drops again when she shakes her head.
“No. I think he’s bad police. He hurts people when he’s supposed to help them. He arrests people that maybe didn’t do anything wrong. Or,” she leans in a little closer and whispers, “if their skin isn’t the same color as ours. But bad people like Uncle can do bad things, and he doesn’t get in trouble.”
I slow my steps and yank Elizabeth closer until her shoulder touches my chest. “The army guy is bad? What do you mean?”
“I mean…” Her lips quiver. “My daddy will beat me to death if I snitch. It would be especially stupid to snitch about that man when I’m talking to his son.”
“I’m not loyal to him.” I pull her away from the club and toward my car. I don’t have the keys, and even if I did, I wouldn’t want to sit inside. Instead, I lead her to the back and slide down so we sit on the hard gravel and lean against the frame. “I don’t know the guy.”
“But you said he’s your dad. You said your mom and him used to be together.”
“That doesn’t mean anything. I’m eleven and a half, and I met him today for the first time ever. That means he ain’t loyal to me or my mom. That means I’m more loyal to you at this point. I promise not to snitch on you. I won’t be the reason your father hurts you.”
She watches me with those dirty green eyes and tries to find my lies. I think she and I live in a world of complete opposites. She’s fed and has nice shoes, but she knows bad people. I never get new shoes, but my mom is special. She’s kind, and doesn’t talk to bad people…
Until now.
“This club belongs to Hayes,” she whispers. “Stella and Zoey’s dad. He’s the boss here, which is why they think they’re special, but Uncle is Hayes’ boss. He’s the big boss that everyone is scared of. He makes sure everyone is working how he wants them, and I think… well…” She leans around the car to peek back at the club. “They sell drugs and stuff. I don’t know what kind, I don’t know about that stuff. But there was one time I touched this bag of pills Daddy brought home. They were in a sandwich bag, like the kind I take to school sometimes.”
“When?”
She shrugs. “When I was little. Like, year before last? I opened the bag, but I was only looking. I touched the pills.” She looks into my eyes. “They were the size of M&M’s, but not colorful. I wasn’t gonna take one or anything, I’m not stupid, but Daddy walked in and found me touching them, so I got into big trouble. He beat me so bad,” her voice shakes. “He screamed so loud and sent me to my room. Next thing I knew, I woke up in the hospital.”
“What?” I shout. “In the hospital?”
Elizabeth jumps and scoots a few inches to her left to create space between us. Her head swings wildly to the left to peek back at the club. “Sheesh! Shut up, or you’ll get us both beat.”
“I’m sorry.” I grab her hand and tug her back. I look around my side of the car, but the club doors remain closed. The windows covered. The Addams Family, undisturbed. “I’m sorry. You surprised me is all. Your own father beat you so bad you passed out and woke in a hospital? And CPS did nothing about it?”
“No, he didn’t beat me that bad,” she huffs. “I mean, he made it so I couldn’t sit very well, but he didn’t put me in the hospital. I didn’t really know what happened. I went to bed and cried about being in trouble. I, uh…” Her cheeks go red. “I used to suck my thumb, okay? It’s a baby thing that I liked to do. So I was sucking my thumb and trying not to cry, because he comes back and smacks me again if I cry too much, then I went to sleep. Woke up in the hospital.”
“I mean… shit.” I blow out a breath. “I don’t understand.”
She swallows and looks down into her lap. “I guess maybe I had drugs on my fingers. They said I’d overdosed, and they had to give me shots to make it all better.”
Holy shit. “You OD’d, and you were only, what, six?”
She lifts her nose in the air the same way the sour-sisters do. “I was seven and a quarter, thank you very much.”
“And CPS didn’t take you away?”
She
shakes her head. “Daddy is important at work. He said it was because of a drug bust he’d made, and I accidentally touched his work stuff.” Her eyes sparkle like maybe she wants to cry. “I was told not to touch his stuff. So I was in hospital for a bit and they made me all better. Uncle got so mad at Daddy,” she whispers. “Like, really, really mad. He got in trouble from him, and then I got in trouble from Daddy.”
My brows pull closer together. “Where’s your mom?”
She lifts her shoulders until they touch her cheeks, then lets them drop again. “I don’t know. But Daddy says if I keep going the way I am, we’ll be together again soon.”
Elizabeth and I sit on that cold concrete for a full hour, huddled together when the wind picks up, and talk about… well… life. We live such different lives, but we’re still kind of the same. We’re both living with a single parent, and that single parent is too busy for us most of the time. We both go to fancy schools that we hate; I’m pretty sure the army man pays tuition for us both, but at least I get to go home each afternoon. Elizabeth is shipped off to some school far away where she has to sleep during the week and only gets to come home on weekends.
We’re both poor kids being pushed into a family we’re not sure we want a part of, but she’s been here way longer than I have. She’s been here for years. Years longer than I intend to be.
My arms get cold the longer we sit, so Elizabeth leans against me to share her coat.
Her legs get cold, so I tuck them close and push them under mine so my jeans keep her warm.
I don’t like girls. Not really. I’m not interested in kissing them yet, even if most of my friends have, and I’ve never sat with one and cuddled before, but we’re cold, so we do what we have to do and help each other out.
I like sitting with Elizabeth. She’s not judging my stained shirt or my scuffed sneakers. She’s not judging the fact I need a haircut or the weird way my chest caves in a little because it’s too broad and I haven’t grown into it yet. And her thickness makes for the kind of hug only my mom can give. Hayes said she and I are family now. I refuse to be family with the sour-sisters, but with Elizabeth… I could get on board with that. Even if Mom and I drive away after this meeting today and I never see Elizabeth again, she can still be my family.
“Do you think you’ll stay here forever?”
“No.” I play with the button on her coat and ignore how numb my butt has turned. “All our stuff is still in my apartment back home. We only came with the clothes we have on, so I think we’re going home in a bit. Mom never mentioned moving, and she would tell me.”
Elizabeth’s dirty green eyes meet mine. “Do you live very far away?”
“Three hours.” I shrug. “And Mom has to go to work tomorrow, so I bet we’ll have to leave soon. I don’t know why they’re talking without me – she said I was meeting my dad today, but I only saw him for a sec, then I was taken to the room you were in, so it’s not like we hung out and tossed a baseball or anything.”
Elizabeth gives a soft laugh and leans closer. “Is that what you wanna do? Play fetch like a dog? Because I can tell you, it’s not as fun as it sounds.”
I smile and lean a little closer, putting all my weight on one bum cheek to help the other feel better. “You have a dad. And I have a mom. That almost makes one whole family.”
“Does that make you my brother, then?”
“Hmm…” I frown and switch butt cheeks. “I don’t think so. I don’t feel like you’re my sister. But I can promise we’ll always be family now, which means I promise to always love you.”
Her cheeks stain a soft pink. “Do you have a cell phone? We could text sometimes when you go home.”
I shake my head and grin. “No way could my mom afford an extra phone. Wait…” I stop rolling from cheek to cheek and look into her eyes. Chubby cheeks smoosh them up so they’re a little squinty. “Do you have a cell phone?”
She nods, but it’s not arrogant like how the sour-sisters would gloat. “It’s an old one from when my daddy upgraded. It doesn’t do much else, but I can text and stuff. It’s too bad you don’t have one, because it would have been nice to talk when you leave.”
“Yeah…”
I lower back to both butt cheeks and groan. It hurts no matter how much I move. Picking up a sharp rock from the ground beside me, I angle my torso so I can lean a little under my car, then I start scratching letters into the exhaust pipe. G… U… N…
I murmur each letter as I scratch it in, and when I get to Elizabeth’s name, she leans against me so she can see, and smiles.
“‘Gunner loves Elizabeth’?”
I smile. “For…ever…” I scratch and speak, and let my words stretch out. “It sucks that we have to leave. Maybe we’ll visit more, since my mom decided it would be good to know my dad now. You can tell me if the bitches pick on you some more, and I’ll take care of them when I visit.”
When I’m done vandalizing my mom’s car, I blow on my markings to make sure the dust is gone and I like how it looks, and Elizabeth leans off me to look back to the club.
She studies the darkened windows with narrowed eyes. “We should go back inside. If I’m caught out here, Daddy will get super mad.”
“I don’t want you to get into trouble.” I drop my rock and lift my legs to let her slide out, then I push off the ground with an old-man groan and make Elizabeth laugh. It’s a sweet sound, soft and silly, and nothing like the girls in my school. Reaching out, I take her hand and drag her to her feet.
“Thanks for being cool.” Her voice is barely a whisper as we make our way out of the wind and push through the club doors. “I heard you were coming today, and all I could think was Great, another jerk to pick on me while our dads are talking.”
“I won’t pick on you. Never ever.” I turn to her at the bottom of the stairs and smile. “Except maybe about your knees. They’re chubby and cute.”
“I’ll stab you with the letter opener,” she growls. She’s like a little tiger cub, growling and snapping her teeth. There’s no strength behind her threats, no real danger. Just noise. “Take me back to the office, then turn around while I grab it.”
“The letter opener?” I reach back into my pocket. “You mean this one?” I chuckle when she gasps, then slip it back where I had it. “It’s shiny, right?”
“You stole it?” The tiger has turned back into cop’s daughter, and she can’t wrap her mind around a thief. “That’s so naughty.”
“Sometimes a kid has to steal to help supplement the money his mom makes. I’m not a bad person, but sometimes I take things that’ll help us eat.”
Her big eyes narrow with suspicion. “And how will a letter opener help you? You won’t sell it. It won’t feed you or keep you warm at night.” She slams her hands onto her hips and scrunches her nose like a little pug dog. “That’s not supplementing, that’s stealing.”
Uncaring, I continue up the stairs and pull her along. “Sometimes something shiny gets my attention. If I want it, I take it. It’s not such a big deal.”
“It’s a big deal to me,” she growls. “I don’t like breaking the law.”
“Says the daughter of the dirty cop.”
The way she recoils makes me feel like I hit her. “He’s not… he…” Her face drains. “Oh my gosh.”
“We’re in a club with bad people who have bad guns, your daddy beats you for fun and brings drugs home for snack time.” And my mom is meeting with them. I start walking faster. “Your daddy is seriously dirty. And my mom needs to be taken out of here now.”
“I’m not dirty,” Elizabeth murmurs. We reach the top of the stairs. Turn right, and we head into the office with my mom and the man I’m supposed to call dad. Turn left, and we meet up with the sour-sisters all over again. So we stop in the middle, Switzerland, and she pulls me around. “I’m not a bad person, Gunner. I promise I’m not.”
“I know. You’re nothing like the bitches. And you’re not like your dad either.”
She sha
kes her head. It’s important to her nine-year-old brain that I believe her. “I’m good. And when I’m a grownup, I’ll make sure that all of this stuff stops.” She leans closer to whisper, “If my daddy is dirty, I’m going to send him to jail. And if Uncle is just as bad, he can go and share a cell with him and whoever else is in on it. Then the bitches can live like regular folks without money. Let’s see how smug they are when they’re broke.”
“I believe you.” I squeeze her hand and grin. “I can’t wait to see you take them down. I can’t hit a girl, but I can sure as hell teach you how to throw a right hook. It’ll almost be like I smacked them down myself.” I look over my shoulder and study the door my mom is hidden by. I don’t like this place. I don’t like these people. “I’m gonna take you back to the office, then I’m getting my mom and leaving. This isn’t all it was talked up to be.”
“Okay.” She hurries along beside me, keeping up as we approach the office with the bitches. “Are you gonna take your mom and leave now?”
“Yup. She’s better than this place.”
“But you don’t have a phone?”
We stop at the door. I rest my hand on the handle, but don’t open it yet. “No. There’s no way my mom could afford an extra bill like that.”
Elizabeth’s light eyebrows furrow as she cranes her neck back and studies my eyes. “How will I find you again? I’m only nine, and if you’re leaving and not coming back…”
“Well…” I hate the way my stomach drops as I consider her question. “I’m not sure. What’s your full name? Maybe I can look in the phone book someday. It might be a long time, but I’ll try.”
“Tate…” She licks her bottom lip. “My last name is Tate.”
“Okay, Elizabeth Tate.” I run her name through my mind over and over again to sear the words into my brain. Elizabeth Tate. Elizabeth Tate. Elizabeth Tate. “I won’t ever forget, I promise.”
“You can call me Libby, if you want.” She wrings her hands together, and looks to the floor to avoid my eyes. “Nobody else calls me Libby. But it’s what I would prefer.”