“Thank you, Claire.”
“Anytime, girl.”
I give Jane a hug and kiss, letting her know that I am spending the day cleaning the apartment. She tells me that it sounds terrible, and she is happy to spend her day playing with Emma. I knew she wouldn’t want any part of it once I mentioned cleaning.
When I get back to my place, I crank up the music and grab a trash bag for all the broken or damaged things. Picture frames are smashed and wall art is ripped apart, leaving my walls looking bare. Vases and other glass or ceramic items I had are shattered across my floor. With my broom and dust pan, I sweep up the broken pieces and dump them into the trash bag.
After an hour of constant work, I look around the apartment and feel a tad bit of accomplishment. I still haven’t come up with anything missing and am no closer to figuring out why someone would do this. I don’t have a lot in the means of electronics, but even my flat-screen television was left untouched. It just doesn’t make sense.
A knock on the door pulls me from my thoughts, and hoping it’s my landlord here to change my locks, I open the door without checking the peephole. I suck in a sharp breath when I see Logan standing on the other side. He looks tired and worn but sags in relief when he sees me.
“Brenna, I have been worried sick and freaking out all night long. Why didn’t you return my calls or texts?”
“My phone died, and I slept at Claire’s.”
“Are you okay?” he asks, pulling me into his arms. I go willingly, but my body stands stiffly against him.
I take a step away. “I’m fine.”
His brow arches as he tries to read me. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here last night when you needed me. When Trevor called me, I completely lost it, and when I couldn’t reach you, I got on the first flight home and came straight here.”
“You didn’t need to do that,” I say in a short, clipped tone.
He flinches back at my response. “Is everything all right?”
“Yes. As I said, I’m fine. I don’t need your help or anything from you.”
His forehead wrinkles, and he puts his hands up. “Whoa, what is going on, Brenna? I’m getting a vibe you are pissed at me for something. I literally got here as soon as I could. Believe me, I wish I was here, and I can’t describe the feeling I had when I heard what happened, knowing I was so far away.”
“Yeah, I don’t really want to think about what you may have been feeling while you were away,” I scoff, thinking about what he and Melody were doing and wondering what she thought about him running off to my rescue. He probably lied to her much like he has been lying to me.
Logan looks to the left at the sound of people laughing from the stairwell. “Can we at least discuss whatever it is that has you so pissed off inside in private?”
Nodding my head, I step back so he can enter and close the door behind him. I can feel my blood pressure rising by the minute and imagine my chest has broken out in its usual redness. I have to keep biting my tongue to stop from lashing out the way I truly want to. I want to scream and shout and cry. Most of all, I just want to cry because I let him in, and now my heart is slowly breaking. Seeing him now, standing before me and looking as handsome as ever with the concern etched on his face is only hurting me more.
“What happened between seeing you before I left and now? I thought we had moved past our issues before I left, but it seems you are more upset now than you were then.”
I cross my arms in a mix of security and also to keep from reaching out to him.
“Why did you leave town?” I ask as calmly as I can muster.
“For business. I told you this. What is going on?” He looks completely clueless, and I don’t know if he’s just that good of an actor or that dense.
“And what part of this business included being with your ex-fiancée so late at night?”
His eyes widen, and a look of realization passes over his face. “No, Brenna, no. I don’t know what happened to give you that idea, but it couldn’t be farther from the truth.”
He takes a step toward me, and I take one backward until my back hits the wall.
I swallow down the tears I can feel building and use all my strength to stand tall and firm. “Well, when I call you and she answers your phone, you can only imagine the ideas that gives me. So, again, what kind of business was it that included her?”
In a few short steps, he has his body pressed against mine and his hands cradling my face. I keep my arms tightly crossed and my fists balled because all I want to do is wrap them around his neck.
“I need you to listen to me,” he says calmly, his navy eyes penetrating me. “I had a call, and there were issues with a hotel in North Carolina that I worked on six months ago. So I went, and it was a quick fix, which is what I was hoping for so I could get back to you as quickly as possible. The hotel manager and I met for a drink in the restaurant downstairs, and to say I was surprised when Melody showed up there is an understatement. I don’t know how she knew where I was or how she ever got a hold of my phone, but I swear to you nothing happened. Nothing. I paid my tab and went back up my room where I proceeded to call you.”
“She shows up at your house, and now she’s randomly showing up in other states where you are traveling for work. It just doesn’t make sense, and I can’t help but question things.”
“You can help it. What is the point of this relationship if you aren’t going to trust me? How many times have I told you that I loved you and emptied my heart out? I need you to believe in me. Believe in us.” He rests his forehead against mine, his thumbs caressing my cheeks.
I bite my lip and consider his words. Looking at it now, I guess I should have waited and given him a chance to explain before jumping to conclusions, but at the same time, that was the last thing I was thinking at the moment.
“I want to believe you and trust you, but it becomes hard when all these things seem to be working against us.”
“What do you mean working against us?” he asks, his voice rising as he steps away and begins pacing. “You make it sound like it has been a constant thing instead of the two recent blips.”
“Blips? I think they were a little more than that.”
“Do you want to know what I think?” He stops pacing and comes back to stand right in front of me. “I think you have been waiting for something like this happen. Any excuse to push me away and end this.”
“What are you talking about?” I shout back, getting more and more frustrated.
“This whole time, you have constantly doubted me and doubted this between us. You have never fully opened yourself up to me, and you know what, I was okay with that because I knew that with time, you would. Shows how wrong I was. I don’t think you ever planned on it. All I have done is express myself, not only telling you how I feel but also showing you, and it’s still not enough.”
Tears begin to fall as I shake my head. “That is not true. I have given you more than anyone else. So much that I know there would be no recovering after you. You think I want this? That I want to feel this way?” My hand slaps against my chest to drive the point home. “Because I don’t. I hate feeling like this, Logan. I have spent my entire life with nothing but failures and disappointments. One letdown after another, and after a while, it becomes a habit to always expect the worse from a situation. So yes, when I call you late at night while you are out of town and your ex-fiancée answers the phone, I think the absolute worst.”
“You should have given me more credit than that.” He turns his back to me, and his hands tug at his hair in frustration, causing it to stick out in all directions and look extremely sexy. He turns back to me, his eyes filling with a sadness I have never seen. “If there is no trust or faith, then what are we even doing?”
My gaze falls to my feet because at this moment, I don’t have an answer. Every point he has made is completely valid, and I am unable to make any kind of argument. In my heart, I knew he wouldn’t hurt me in that way, but I still couldn’t help the d
oubt that crept in when everything happened. Even after my talk with Tanner, I still didn’t give him the benefit of the doubt. Or gave him a chance to defend himself before I found him guilty.
Taking my silence for rejection, he heads toward the door, and seeing his back as he walks away from me, and from us, I realize that is the last thing I want. The impact he has made on my life in the short amount of time he has been in it is nothing short of incredible, and I can’t just stand here and watch him walk away. My heart falls at the thought of not having him around.
“Wait,” I call out and hold my breath until he stops. “Don’t leave.” I can hear the desperation in my own voice as it cracks.
He slowly turns around and lifts his eyes to mine. “Why?”
“I can’t let you walk out that door,” I say, sending the message to my feet to move forward.
“Why not?”
I close the distance between us and take in his handsome face. “Because I know I would regret that decision for the rest of my life.”
“What do you want, Brenna?” he asks, exhaling deeply.
My hands move to his chest, and my mind begs him to touch me. “You. All I want is you, Logan.”
His navy eyes lock on mine, and he searches them for a moment. “We can’t keep doing this. A relationship isn’t going to work without trust. Did you really think I would cheat on you?”
“Deep down inside, I know you wouldn’t, but then I begin to doubt myself. I keep thinking this whole thing is just too good to be true, and I’m waiting for it to all disappear.”
“You can’t think like that, babe.” His hands cradle my face once again, and I instantly feel relief the second he touches me. “You can’t just sit around and wait for me to screw up. It’s going to happen, and I am man enough to admit that. Never will it be in a way that would cause you any harm, but I will mess up somewhere. The key to a successful relationship is working through those screw-ups.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Me too.” He brushes his lips softly against mine. “God, Brenna, I fucking love you.”
My hands slide up his chest and wrap around his neck. “I love you too, Logan. So much.” Lifting up on my toes, I nip at his bottom lip.
“Where’s Jane?”
“Claire is keeping her for me while I get this place back in order.” It just dawns on me that I never returned the miss calls and messages on my phone—one of which was from Gabby.
A smile pulls at his lips, and he moves his hand down to my ass, gripping under my cheeks to lift me up. My legs wrap around his waist, and he begins moving through my apartment while his lips trail along my neck.
Setting me down inside my bedroom, Logan pulls my tank over my body, dropping it to the floor. My sports bra follows behind, and I unbutton his shirt, pushing it off his shoulders, and watch it as it falls.
Gripping my hips, he tugs my body against his, pressing our bare chests together. His lips crash against mine, and he takes control of my mouth in a way only he can. My hands make quick work of removing his belt and working the button and zipper of his pants.
He slips his hands into the back of my shorts and hisses as he palms my ass. “I love it when you go commando,” he says, squeezing my cheeks again before pushing the denim material over my ass.
I fall back against the softness of my mattress, welcoming the weight of Logan’s hard body over mine. It’s moments like now, when his eyes are gazing deeply into mine, that I feel nothing but confidence—not only in myself but also in us.
“I never want you to feel any doubt when it comes to this, Brenna. You are it for me, and I need you to know that.” His eyes stayed locked on mine, waiting for a response. I nod my head. “I go to sleep thinking of you and wake with nothing but you on my mind. Every waking thought I have is surrounded by you and only you. I. Love. You.” He emphasizes each word with a kiss and pushes into me after the final one.
My legs tighten around him while my fingers dig into his back. “I love you too, Logan.” The words leave in a breathless whisper as his thrusts become deeper.
We move as one, and the saying actions speak louder than words rings through to me because I can feel his love through every movement and every touch. He never fails to say the words, but it means millions more when you can actually feel the love of someone.
Surges of pleasure overtake my body as the blood pumping is electrified. No one has ever sparked a flame inside me as Logan has. The pull has always been there, and it only intensifies when we give in to our urges. While things between us have moved at an accelerated pace from the beginning, I wouldn’t have it any other way. Cliché as it is, Logan has become the air I breathe, and without him, my life would never be the same.
I cry out in passion when my release hits, and Logan follows quickly behind, his body collapsing against mine. Propping up on his arm, he takes his weight off me and peppers my face in kisses. I smile, appreciating his tender touches, and glide my fingers up and down his spine while we both gain control of our breathing.
“I want you to come stay with me.”
My eyes open to his deep blues, and he drops a kiss on my nose.
“What?” I ask.
“With the break-in and there being no real leads, I would feel more comfortable knowing you and Jane are safe in my house. There are gates and a high-tech security system. Not to mention, I would have you in my bed every night.” His lips fall to mine, and I get lost in them.
But what is he asking?
Is it merely the suggestion that we stay with him until things are sorted out?
Or is he asking me to move in?
The last seems super sudden, and as great as things have been going, I don’t think I am ready for that kind of commitment. Not that the idea of spending every night with Logan wrapped around me doesn’t appeal to me.
“I can see the wheels spinning. Don’t overthink this. It doesn’t have to be anything permanent, but just something to give me a peace of mind for the time being.”
“Okay,” I answer, not allowing myself to question it any further.
His lips pull in a wide smile, lighting up his face. “Great. Let’s pack you girls a bag, and we will pick up Jane and get some lunch before heading to my house.”
He moves to sit up, but I wrap my legs around his back tighter. “Logan,” I start.
“Yeah, babe?”
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for thinking the worst and not coming to you first.”
“When you began having all those thoughts, what did you feel here?” He taps his finger on my chest, above my heart.
“In my heart, I didn’t believe you would hurt me in such a way.”
“Listen to your heart. My own heart beats within yours and to hurt you would be hurting myself.”
A lone tear escapes, rolling out of the corner of my eye and into my hair. I unlock my legs, and with one last kiss, Logan jumps from the bed, pulling me up with him.
Grabbing a duffle bag from my closet, I pack enough clothes to last me a while and round up my cosmetics and other toiletries I may need. I’m unclear on how much to pack, but I don’t stress over it because I can always come back for anything I may forget. Jane’s bag is next, and I pack the little bit of clothes she has here. I also choose a few toys I know she’ll want and a couple of her favorite movies.
Leaving Jane’s room, I find Logan standing in the living room taking in the destruction that hasn’t been cleaned up. His eyes scan the room from the floors to the walls, which are now bare.
Hearing my approach, he turns on his heels and smiles even though his brows are pinched with concern. “Is anything missing?”
“I haven’t found anything yet. But like I told Trevor, there wasn’t anything in this apartment of worth.”
“This much damage,” he states, opening his arms wide as he circles my living room, “isn’t just a random act. It’s personal.”
“That’s what your cousin said as well. The only person who would have something against
me would be Lynne, but why do this? She knows there isn’t anything here because anything of value I may have had, she’s already pawned.”
I think about it. Would she have come by here looking for Jane and been upset by us not being home? But then why would she ignore all my calls and messages? Nothing about this makes sense.
My stomach growls, reminding me that I haven’t eaten anything in quite some time. Logan laughs and walks over to pick up the bags.
“Come on, let’s get Jane and grab some lunch.” He stops just outside the door, waiting for me to lock up. “Have the locks been changed?”
“No. I was hoping when you knocked earlier that you were the landlord or maintenance.”
“Okay, you get Jane. I’m going to take the bags down to my car and go find someone in the office. They shouldn’t be taking this long.”
I lay my hand on his forearm. “You don’t have to do that.”
He smiles and kisses my temple. “I do. I will you meet you girls at the car.”
Chapter 13
The savory aroma of bacon and the sweet smell of syrup wakes me from a deep, deep slumber. Sleeping on Logan’s bed is close to what I imagine sleeping on a cloud would be like. Having his warm body pressed close behind mine doesn’t hurt either. I was sleeping so hard I never felt him leave the bed. It has been so long that I had forgotten how amazing it feels to get a good night’s sleep.
Pulling myself to my feet—using much strength—I follow my nose to the kitchen, but hold back before entering to eavesdrop.
“BrennBrenn is going to love these. Mickey Mouse pancakes are her favorite.”
They both have their backs to me, and Jane is standing on a step stool assisting Logan. He passes her the can of whipped cream, and she attempts to squirt some on the pancake but ends up covering the entire plate.
“Does she love whipped cream too?” Logan chuckles.
“Umm … maybe this one should be mine.”
He ruffles her head, and she looks up at him adoringly. “Why don’t you take these plates to the table, and I will bring the drinks over.”
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