“I will.” I smile and I climb in the seat and click in my seat belt. “Have a good rest of your day.”
* * *
Noticing that Jane has been mostly quiet on the ride home, I spare a glance in the rearview mirror and find a sad little girl.
“What’s the matter, sweet angel?” I ask, and her eyes pop up to meet mine in the mirror.
“I was just thinking about some stuff, and it made me sad.” She casts her eyes back down, and I focus on the road as I pull into Logan’s driveway.
After we are parked inside the garage, I reach back and unbuckle her from the seat, pulling her up into my lap.
“What made you sad?”
“I don’t really miss Mommy. I don’t think about her all that much, and I think she would be upset that I don’t. It makes me feel like a bad girl.”
My heart breaks constantly for Jane, and hearing what she just said crushes me. She hasn’t brought her mother up, so neither have I because I thought it was best for her.
“No baby, that doesn’t make you a bad girl. We have been so busy since you came to stay with me and had so much going on that it is easy to get distracted. It doesn’t mean you don’t still love your mommy.”
Tears fall from her eyes as she sniffles. “But I love you more, and I don’t want to go back and live with her. She doesn’t ever do anything with me and always makes me stay in my room. She’s never any fun and neither is Grandma.” She stops talking, and the sobs come harder.
I pull her against my chest and begin rocking her, hoping to settle her down. My hand rubs up and down her back as her little body shakes against mine, her tears soaking my dress. All the while, I am trying to put the correct words together to explain a terrible situation to a little girl who will never understand. It’s not like I can come out and say that her mother messaged me to come pick her up because she ‘couldn’t do it anymore.’
Last time I checked, you couldn’t pick when you want to be a mother and when you didn’t. Just like you don’t abandon your child and call weeks later expecting to talk to her as though nothing ever happened.
Once her sobs have subsided, I lift her up and wipe her tear-filled cheeks and kiss her forehead.
“Remember how your mommy told you she was sick and needed to get help?”
She nods her little head. “Yes,” she answers with a sniffle.
“Well, until she starts feeling better, you will be staying with me.”
“And Logan?”
“Yes, and Logan. In fact, how would you feel if we kept staying at his house and didn’t go back to my apartment?”
I laugh when her little face lights up at the idea. “Really? His house is so big! And it has a pool! That would be awesome!”
And just like that, her sadness evaporated.
“He even said we could decorate your room any way you want. Maybe this weekend we can spend a day shopping and choose some new stuff. What do you say?”
Before answering, Jane throws her arms around my neck. “Thank you, thank you, BrennBrenn!”
“You are welcome, sweet angel. How about we head inside and figure out we want to make for dinner tonight? I bet Logan will be excited to hear that you want to stay here.”
“He’s really nice. I love him a lot.”
“Me too, sweetie.”
The exhaustion from crying must have finally set in because once we get inside, she’s passed out on the couch not fifteen minutes later. I cover her with a throw blanket and get to work searching the kitchen for dinner ingredients.
Witnessing her breakdown in the car makes me resent my sister even more. Jane is such a sweet and caring little girl. How could anyone not be grateful to have her in their life? And how could a mother, who carried this baby for nine months and grew her inside her very own body, neglect and walk away as she did?
Then I think about Patrick and wonder what kind of father he would be if he were still living. Would having a daughter have forced him to clean up his life and make himself better? Or would he still be living in the same cycle, slowly killing himself one day at a time? In my heart, I would like to believe it would have made him a better man, but he had known he was going to be a father before he stuck that last syringe in his arm.
All I want to do is sit down and cry. Cry for Jane, whose short life has been spent growing up in horrid conditions I know all too well. Cry for my sister, who can’t seem to get her life together and take care of herself, much less her daughter. And cry for Patrick, who will never know the amazing little girl who is his daughter because he was too far gone. But I won’t cry for a person whose life was turned upside down after a late-night message. Who became an overnight parent and had to make multiple changes in their life. I won’t cry for me because Jane has been the greatest gift I could ever receive, and from the moment she was born, I knew I would move mountains for her. She may not have a mom or dad currently present in her life, but she has me, and I am determined to do my best to give her the life she deserves.
The way everyone has opened their arms to Jane has amazed me. Claire and Emma have been involved the longest, and even Jordan drops to his knees for a hug whenever he sees her. But when I think about how quickly Logan and his entire family have welcomed not only me but also Jane into their lives, it makes it harder to understand why Lynne would leave her.
Ruth and Richard have asked her to call them by the same names their grandson uses—Nana and PopPop—and she didn’t skip a beat when she started using them. One day out of our new routine and Gabby is messaging me to tell me how much she and TJ miss Jane. Logan would bend over backward to make her smile and is willing to sacrifice one of his beautiful guest rooms to the frilly pink gods just to make her feel at home.
My impending tears are being held at bay, and when it dawns on me that Jane and I now have a family, I no longer have the urge to cry. Logan has given me so much more than I could ever give him back. I don’t have much to offer, but he has my heart, and I can only hope that’s enough.
Chapter 17
“Are you sure you have to go to work tonight?” Logan asks again as I finish applying my last coat of mascara.
“Ian only calls me when he is desperate, and he said it should only be a couple of hours. Are you sure you don’t mind watching Jane? I can call Claire and drop her off.”
“Of course, I don’t mind. I think we might go over to Trevor’s for a little while. I need to have a chat with Ian and tell him to stop occupying my girlfriend’s time.”
Coming up behind me, Logan circles his arm around my middle and moves my hair over one shoulder, leaving a wet trail along my neck with his lips. My eyes connect with his through the mirror, and I begin to question my choice to bartend tonight.
Turning in his arms, I wrap mine around his neck. “It will only be a couple of hours, and then I will be back. We have a big day of shopping tomorrow with a little girl who is ready to redecorate.”
His lips fall to mine, and I smile as he talks against them. “Fine. You’d better get going so you can hurry back home.”
“I love you,” I say, nipping at his bottom lip.
“I love you too.” He releases me with a slap on my ass followed by a smirk.
Finding Jane in the living room, I give her a hug and a kiss, letting her know I would see her in the morning since she’ll more than likely be in bed before I get home. She is beyond thrilled about her night with Logan and can’t get me out the door any quicker.
This past week, we have slowly been bringing some of my things over. Logan has been meeting me at my apartment after work to load up both of our vehicles with boxes and clothes. Since his house is fully furnished, I have no need for my furniture, which has made the moving process easier. I have never been one to have much stuff, and whatever I did have, Logan’s was newer and nicer, so we are donating it all to the local woman’s shelter.
He told me I could change anything inside the house, but I love everything the way it is. Ruth did an amazing job putting th
e house together, and I wouldn’t want anything to be different. Jane, on the other hand, couldn’t be more excited at having the chance to decorate her own bedroom. With all the different ideas she has thrown at me this week, I know my bank account will be hurting after our shopping endeavors. Logan and I haven’t had the chance to discuss bills and how things will be split, but I plan on pulling my weight and doing my fair share. I don’t even want to think about what the electric bill runs for that place, much less the mortgage, but with my savings and the decent money I make at the law firm, I should be good. At least, I hope so.
Arriving at Déjà vu, I park in the back lot and enter through the employee door. I say a quick hello to Ian as I pass by his office on my way to the bar. I get the same thrill walking through the door into the bar as I have every other time. It briefly makes me miss the constant hustle and bustle of the job. Now that I am accustomed to having a standard schedule and a reliable paycheck, I don’t see myself ever going back.
An hour into my shift, I notice a new patron take a seat at the bar and get an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my stomach from the way he is staring my way. He has handsome, strong facial features, but there isn’t anything pleasant in his glare. I spare a quick glance down the bar to see if Jordan is available, but he is at the far end helping others. Shaking off the odd feelings, I put on my best smile and approach the man.
“What can I get you?” I ask as he just continues his stare.
It feels like minutes pass by while he just looks at me with a lip curl, but it was only a few seconds. My smile begins to slip, but finally, he speaks.
“Seven and seven,” he says in a deep, raspy voice, his eyes never leaving mine.
“You got it.” I turn away to grab the liquor bottle but can feel him burning a hole in my back. I don’t know what this guy’s problem is, but if he’s going to have this attitude all night, then he needs to take it elsewhere, or Jordan will have to come serve him.
I place the glass on the white napkin in front of him. “Do you want to start a tab?”
With a stiff shake of his head, he slaps a twenty down on the bar. Picking it up, I head to the register to grab his change, ready to move on and help someone else. When I turn back around, the man with the intense stare is gone. Shrugging my shoulder, I stuff his change into my pocket. At least, he left a hefty tip to go with his attitude.
The rest of the night goes by much smoother, and I am running my ass off behind the bar but having fun while I do it. Jordan and I always work well together, and he constantly reminds me how much he misses having me there. I don’t tell him that this will most likely be the last shift I pull at the bar. It is too hard for me to leave Jane behind and rely on someone else to watch her. She is already spending the days with Gabby, and I am missing that time with her. I no longer have to worry about just me, and as much as I miss the atmosphere, I have to do right by Jane.
“Well, hello there, beautiful.” Without even looking up, I smile when I hear his voice.
Standing on my toes, I reach over the bar and give Tanner a hug. “What are you doing here?”
“I got wind that my favorite girl was working tonight. You knew I couldn’t pass up a night of you serving me,” he says with a smirk, resting his arms against the bar.
“How is it you can make the simplest things sound so dirty? No wonder your brother thought something was going on between us.” A guilty look passes over his face. “What?”
“Well, it’s just that I may have embellished a little more about us when you weren’t around.”
“What do you mean?” I ask, stepping closer as I cross my arms.
“He used to always ask questions about you. Wanting to know what your story was and if you were seeing anybody, but I may have led him to believe you were seeing me.” He says the last part slowly, looking down briefly.
“Why would you do that?” I have been curious as to why Logan was so sure I had something going on with his brother.
“Look, I’m not proud of it, but he was still with Melody. I mean, we all knew that was a ticking time bomb, but still, he was engaged. I didn’t want him to use you or treat you like some rebound, so I stretched the truth a little bit.”
“A little?” I laugh. “Nothing has ever happened between us, Tanner. That was more like an entire fabrication.”
“You say tomato; I say potato.” He shrugs.
“You know that’s not how the saying goes?” I say, and then I realize that’s exactly how he meant it. “Thank you for looking out for me. You are one of my best friends, Tanner, and it really means a lot.” My hand goes to his forearm, and I give it a squeeze.
“Hey, he may be my brother, but you’re my girl and don’t think I didn’t warn him about what would happen if he ever fucked with you.”
A wide smile pulls against my cheeks at the seriousness of his tone. Pulling my body over the bar, I kiss his cheek. “What can I get you to drink, bestie? Your usual?”
“Have you gone rusty? Why are you even asking?”
Leaving our serious talk behind, I make his drink, and he is back to being full of jokes. My earlier tension from the mysterious man at the bar vanishes with the help of Tanner. I am surprised he stays seated at the bar and isn’t joined by any of his usual friends. Several girls have approached him tonight, but he never gives them much attention. I want to ask him about Bethany, but until either the crowd dies down or my replacement comes in, I don’t have much time to chat.
Ian comes out from his office and chats with Tanner for a while before telling me he can cover until Missy comes in.
“Here you go. Thank you again, Brenna.” He hands me a white envelope, which I know will contain more than my fair share of pay for working tonight.
“You’re very welcome. This will probably be the last time I will be able to fill in, though. My life has changed so much, and I can’t keep working nights.”
“I completely understand. Hell, I am surprised I was able to get you the past couple of times. Always know that, no matter what, you have a job here.”
“Thank you, Ian.” I give him a hug, and it’s bittersweet knowing that I am saying goodbye to the job that helped me out in so many ways.
Without this place, I never would have met Tanner and, in turn, Logan. I am so thankful for the opportunity Ian gave me when I first applied. I came in as a stranger, and now I am leaving with a family.
Walking around the bar, I move next to Tanner who is typing away on his phone. I hop up on the stool next to him and bump his shoulder.
“You look pretty frustrated as you pound away on that phone.”
“Now Brenna, you’d better not let my brother hear you talking about how I look pounding away. He might take that the wrong way.”
“You have problems; you know that?” I say, slapping his arm. “Can I ask you something?”
“You just did,” he says, looking back at his phone. After a couple of seconds of silence, he glances back up at my annoyed face and sets the phone down. “Sorry, go ahead.”
“What’s going on with you and Bethany?”
He laughs dryly and shakes his head. “Of all the questions you could ask, you go for the one I don’t have an answer for.”
“What does that even mean?”
“It means I don’t have the slightest clue. All that girl does is drive me crazy and confuse the ever-loving shit out of him. One minute, we are good and laughing, and the next, she treats me like I have leprosy and can’t get far enough away. I can’t keep up.”
“Have the two of you ever sat down and talked?” I ask, feeling like they need to sort some things out.
“Why would we do that? This has been our thing since we were teenagers; I don’t see it changing anytime soon.”
“You took her virginity,” I say, regretting it when I feel like I am breaking Bethany’s trust.
Tanner chokes on his drink, and his eyes go big. “She told you?”
“Why did you do it?”
“I di
dn’t know. So many things would have been different had I known she was a virgin.”
“No,” I say, beginning to feel the anger for the brokenhearted teenage girl. “Why did you start dating her best friend the next day?”
Tanner runs his hands over his face before looking at me. “She told you that too, huh?” I nod my head, urging him to continue. “I was an idiot. I was young and stupid and had this insane crush on my best friend’s sister. All I could think about was her and what it would be like to have her, and then when I finally get the chance, she gives me this amazing gift. I wasn’t ready to be serious with just one girl, and there’s no way I could have ever treated Bethany the same I did all the others who never mattered. What I did was stupid, but in the end, it was better for her.”
Without thought, I reach up and smack him across the back of his head. “First of all, that was the dumbest thing I have ever heard. Basically, you didn’t want to hurt her, but you destroyed her by your actions. And secondly, you are a grown ass adult. Man up or you will lose her forever.”
“Damn, why are you always hitting me?” he asks, rubbing the spot where my hand connected to his head.
“Do you have feelings for her?”
He finishes his drink before answering. “It’s not that simple.” He lets out a frustrated breath.
“How is it not?”
“Her brother is my best friend, and I doubt he would be happy to know the things I want to do to his sister.”
“Well, there is no reason to ever tell him that much information, but I am sure he wants Bethany to be happy. The first thing you need to do is talk to her.”
“She’s been blowing me off since the other night, so I’m not sure she would even see me.” He lowers his head, tapping his fingers against the wooden surface.
The fact he looks so torn up about the whole Bethany situation goes to show that he does have feelings for her. I just worry he is going to allow his fear to hold him back.
“You won’t know until you try. If she means what I think she does to you, then you should fight for her.” Standing from the stool, I kiss his cheek. “I’m going to head out.”
Perfectly Unexpected Page 17