I laughed at that and looked between the two brothers and I still didn’t really know what to say. “Thanks, both of you. I appreciate your support – it really means a lot to me. I’ll even let you get away with taking the credit, Uncle Alex,” I added with a wink. They carried a plate of food to the table and each clapped my shoulder in another show of support as they passed by.
More people came up to me at different times during the party to congratulate me on my boxing career, telling me how impressed they are and giving me encouragement. Every one of them had talked to Andi and with every conversation, Andi had apparently been singing my praises. No one has ever done that for me before and at this point, I’ve lost count of how many times this girl has saved my ass in one way or another. And that only adds to my belief that I do not deserve her. At all.
Still, she deserved to know what she’s done so when I found her alone in the backyard, I intended only to walk up to her and thank her. But somehow my arms automatically went around her waist and I pulled her firmly against me and melted into her. She looked so small and alone, just staring off into the yard, so I asked what she was thinking.
I don’t think her answer was at all what she was thinking but I let it go. When she told me how proud my family is of me, I finally remembered the original reason why I walked out her to her. I turned her around in my arms and told her that it was only because of her and what she’d said to them. The way she was looking at me had me completely tongue tied. She wanted to say something, I was sure of it, but she kept it in. I was trying, however unsuccessfully, to tell her how important she is to me when Brandon had to fucking interrupt with his question.
I know Andi felt me tense up when Brandon said it looked like we were more than friends. And I saw the disappointed look on her face when I didn’t confirm it. Of course we looked like more than friends but it’s none of his damn business. The thing is, I know I should have just said it. I should’ve just told Brandon, and Andi, that I’m already crazy about her and I want us to be more than just friends, but I didn’t. Andi pulled away and started cleaning up from the party while Brandon and I faced off again.
When Andi went around the house, Brandon’s anger flared at me, “She’s. Not. Megan! You have to stop blaming yourself for that. It wasn’t your fault. Everyone can see that but you! Andi is great and she’s obviously crazy about you.” The more Brandon talked, the madder he got. He stuck his finger in my face when he continued, “You’re pushing her away, man. When you lose her, you will be sorry.”
I hissed back at him, insisting we’re just friends and we’ll never be more than that. Brandon immediately called bullshit on me and when I didn’t answer, his demeanor completely changed. He stared me straight in the eye and said, “All right, brother. I believe you. So, if you’re just friends, you won’t care when I call her and ask her out. Right? Mind putting in a good word for me?”
The motherfucker wasn’t even kidding. He’s not just goading me – he really wants to try to take Andi away from me. Right at that moment, Andi came back around the house and called out to me, asking if I was ready to take her home. I said the first thing that came to my mind after Brandon’s unbelievable request.
“What if I don’t want to let you go?”
I saw Brandon’s smirk but ignored him. Dick. Thankfully Andi didn’t seem to notice it but her answer, and more specifically her tone, was unusually cold when she said I’d survive without her. Where the hell did that come from? I know the disgusted look Brandon gave me all too well – he really wanted to punch me in the face.
Andi then hugged Brandon goodbye and his eyes met mine when he took her in his arms. The challenging look in his eyes said, “If you don’t make her yours, I will damn sure make her mine.” Over my dead fucking body, brother. Andi went inside to say goodbye to the rest of my family and I followed after her to keep her close to me, keep her away from Brandon, and to keep from getting into a brawl with my brother.
Andi was quiet on the way back to her house and I know why. I know she was thinking about what Brandon asked, what he insinuated, and how I didn’t confirm it to him. I let her down and I don’t know how to fix it now. I should’ve said it at the house, in front of the whole damn family, and told her how wonderful and amazing she is. But I just drove on in silence until we got to her house. I was about to ask if I could come in when she suddenly jumped out of my truck.
Then she stunned me by asking if I was still going to be in her karaoke skit tomorrow night. Of course I’m still going to be there for her. We’ve practiced almost nightly over the past two weeks and she needs me to be in it for it to work the way she planned it. Why would she think I would back out on her the night before?
She closed the door and walked off to her front door before I could say another word. And like a damn mute idiot, I just sat in my truck and watched her walk away. Brandon’s words suddenly came back to haunt me. When you lose her, you will be sorry. I feel like I’m already losing her and I just fucking found her. The closing of her front door felt like a bad omen – like she was shutting me out.
Now I’m alone and can’t get her off my mind. I can’t just sit here and do nothing when I feel her slipping away from me, so I pick up my phone and text her.
Still awake, beautiful?
My phone pings after a few minutes. I didn’t think she was going to answer at first.
A: Yes
Are you ok?
A: Yes
Enough of the yes or no questions since she’s obviously not elaborating with her answers.
I wish you were here with me.
And I wait again for the ping.
A: You have plenty of friends to keep you company.
I don’t want a friend.
A: What do you want then?
You.
ANDI
You? You? What the hell does that mean? Yeah, I know he wants me but that’s just not the same and I can’t do this anymore tonight. I turn off my phone, put my cold, wet washcloth over my eyes, and wait for sleep to take over. I finally fall asleep but it’s a fitful sleep and I dream about him all damn night. At 6 a.m., I’m wide awake so I get up and face the day.
Around 8 a.m., I decide to go for a run and work off some of this frustration. For every time I think of him or about how much his words hurt, I punish myself by running harder. So, my run today has been pretty brutal because I can’t seem to stop the thoughts. I know he’s at the gym right now working out and sparring but I couldn’t bring myself to go. After two hours of running, I’m completely spent from pushing myself on so little sleep last night. I do a cool-down jog back to my house, taking my time and enjoying the country view.
When I turn onto my street, my house comes into view and I’m both relieved and disappointed that his truck isn’t parked in my driveway. To get my mind off my own problems, I decide to spend the rest of the day at the youth center before going to the club tonight. The karaoke contest officially starts tonight and I’ve planned an elaborate set, so I’ll have to get there early to set up.
When I walk in my bedroom, I see my cell phone on my nightstand and realize I never turned it back on this morning. I power it up and when it’s fully loaded, I see I have several text messages waiting for me. Sighing, I tap the icon and see they’re all from Luke.
But I don’t deserve you.
I wish I could say how I feel.
You still awake?
Sweet dreams, beautiful.
None of these make me feel any better. Or tell me where we stand now. He had no trouble telling Brandon we were only friends and would never be anything more. That makes it hard for me to believe he couldn’t say we’re more than friends, if he really thought we are. I have turned this over and over in my mind until I’m dizzy. I shower, get dressed and head down to the youth center. Helping the kids always makes me feel better.
I spend several hours today working with the inner-city youth. The center offers many different services these kids wouldn’t normally have
access to, like tutors for school, coaches for different sports, creative arts, music, computers and anything else we can get instructors to come in and teach. Most of the kids love it and come here every day that it’s open.
Shane and Will come down a couple of times a month to coach some of the older boys on boxing. We have a strict policy on who is allowed in this program, though. When the center first opened, a couple of boys signed up for boxing lessons only to go back and show their gang members and use it against other kids. We learned quickly to be very selective of this program’s participants. The only ones allowed in now are the ones who want to make it their career one day, who have never been in trouble and have no gang ties. So far, our stricter policies are working well.
I close up the center and start the 45 minute drive home. I haven’t received any texts or phone calls from Luke today and I can’t help but be disappointed. Even though I know Mack has kept him busy all day. I don’t want tonight at the club to be awkward, so I decide to send him a text when I get home. He did send me several last night that I never answered and I kind of feel guilty about that. Even if we’re only friends, I still wouldn’t ignore him like that.
When I pull in my garage, I send him a quick text that doesn’t have any hidden meaning.
Been busy today – bet you have too. See you soon.
A couple of hours later, I arrive at the club to set up the stage for my song. Luckily, no one else has quite an elaborate setting, so I have the back part of the stage to myself. The curtains will hide my set up until it’s my turn. I’ve set it up to look like a bedroom.
The area is basically rectangular, so the bed is arranged catty-corner in the back left corner. On the wall opposite the bed, there’s a small table with roses, a bottle of wine and a wine glass with a small amount of wine in it. Luke will be dressed in all black and is playing the part of the death, who is seducing me as I sing. The lyrics of the song fit the set up perfectly and with Luke’s amazing body, it’ll also be insanely erotic.
Right now, I’m wearing a simple, navy blue tank swing dress that flows easily over my curves. It stops just above mid-thigh and adding my nude, strappy heels makes my legs look fabulous. But this isn’t what I’m wearing during my show. For that, I borrowed a button down shirt from Shane, and that’s all I’ll wear besides my black lace bra and matching silk panties. I’m going for the full bedroom look, so I wanted to wear a man’s shirt like I just put it on after getting out of bed.
I finish making sure everything is set up the way I want it, close the black curtains and turn to find Luke watching me intently from one of the tables. His arms are folded across his broad chest and he’s wearing all black just as I asked him to. His black Under Armour shirt is skin tight and I can see all his chest and arm muscles bulging under the material. His black jeans fit him perfectly and his long, muscular legs are drool worthy. He’s also wearing black boots that make him look even more badass than the scowl he’s giving me right now.
It’s still early so there’s hardly anyone here that doesn’t work here. The crowd won’t be here for another couple of hours. I keep my eyes trained on Luke’s as I make my way down the steps and walk towards him. His eyes rake over me from my head to my feet, then again from bottom to top, and I see a flash of desire that’s quickly pushed down and replaced with more than a little hostility. I decide to approach him in my usual manner and not let him get to me.
“Hey there,” I say warmly, “how was your day?”
He narrows his eyes and keeps his arms firmly crossed across his body, as if he’s completely blocking me out. His response is short and curt; his tone holds a hint of challenge and suspicion.
“Fine. Yours?”
“It was good. Busy, but I got a lot done today so it was worth the time.” I smile at him as I’m talking, trying to be as casual as possible. He seems a little more tense than usual and I am really not up for a huge blow up after crying myself to sleep last night.
“Oh? What did you do today? Who were you with?”
There’s no doubt that he’s suspicious and obviously thinks I was off with another guy. Though why that would bother him since we’re just friends is beyond me.
I take a deep breath and consider how to explain the youth center to him without opening up a lot of questions I’m not ready to answer yet. I decide to go with the simplest answer that is also truthful, even if it doesn’t explain everything.
“I don’t think I’ve mentioned that I volunteer at a youth center for inner-city kids in downtown Atlanta. The boxes that were in my garage were donations for the center, so I took them down this morning, spent the day organizing and working with some of the kids that showed up.”
He looks surprised and relieved at the same time. “A youth center? Really?” This time his tone of curiosity isn’t also accusing.
“Yeah, I’ve done it for a long time now. A few guys from the gym volunteer there, too. They come in every couple of weeks or so,” I shrug my shoulders and say, “It’s as good for us as it is the kids.”
He doesn’t say anything else but the look he’s giving me now is completely different than just a few seconds ago. He amazes me with how fast he can go from cold to hot and everything in between so quickly.
He inclines his head and eyes towards my dress and asks, “Is that what you’re wearing for your song tonight?”
“Um, no, I have a change of clothes in the dressing room in the back. Want to go grab some dinner with me? I can show you around backstage when we get back.” I’m kicking myself for asking him that. I was going to state that I was going to eat but ended up asking him if he wanted to go instead. Just great.
CHAPTER EIGHT
ANDI
This restaurant was such a bad idea. The dark, intimate atmosphere is so not what I need with my friend right now. That’s what he is – he confirmed it for me last night. I had to ask if he would still be part of my act tonight. Part of me really hoped he’d say no and make up some excuse. It’s hard to see him and not want more from him. Part of me was really glad when he said yes because it’s hard to not see him at all. I’m so screwed.
Our damn waitress isn’t making things easier for me, either. She can’t take her eyes off him and I swear she’s trying to slip him her number every time she walks by our table. Her last attempt, during our salad and while refilling our drinks, really pushed me over the edge. Besides just being damn brazen, it’s rude. I’m sitting right here beside him at a restaurant that is not meant for friends or siblings. I mean seriously, she knows we’re here together. Even if we’re not together.
On her last attempt, I snatch the note from her hand and thank her sweetly before saying, “How sweet. Bless your heart.” Which, in this case, is Southern speak for you are a complete dumbass. She got the hint and quickly left our table. I scowl after her and crinkle the note in my fist before I realize what I’m doing. I want to hold her stupid little note over the lit candle that’s sitting in the middle of our table and watch it burn to ashes.
Luke is not even trying to hide his smile at my blatant act of jealousy. “Something wrong, Andi?” His cavalier attitude makes me want to tear into him but I know I must refrain from fits of jealousy, rage and insanity in public.
“Sorry about that. That was just rude of her to keep doing that in front of me. Here you go,” and I hand him the little slip of paper that has her name and number on it, along with a crookedly drawn heart. How ridiculous. He looks at the note in my hand then back to my eyes, obviously confused at my actions.
Luke quizzes me, “Why would you want me to have her number?”
It seems I’ve unintentionally showed my hand. I’m not good with these damn games and I really just want to be honest with him. I take a shaky breath and look down at the white linen tablecloth, apparently longer than I realized because his warm hand covers my hand, the hand that still holds the waitress’s phone number. I look up and see concern in his eyes and remind myself it’s only friendly concern.
&nb
sp; “Because you told Brandon we would never be more than friends. So if you’re interested in her, I won’t stand in your way.” I can’t even begin to describe how much that hurt to say it out loud to him. But I’d rather get it all out now and get it over with than go another day like the last twenty-four hours have been.
“Let me guess. Brandon called and asked you out so you’re ready to kick me to the curb, right? Fine. That’s just fucking fine.” Luke is really pissed now and I have no idea what he’s even talking about.
I reply just as forcefully, “What the hell are you talking about? Brandon didn’t call me and I wouldn’t go out with him even if he did ask me.”
This gets his attention and adds to his confusion, “You wouldn’t go out with him?”
Now I’m confused. “No, I wouldn’t. No offense to him - he’s a great guy and all….,” but that would just be too weird since I’ve fallen for his brother.
He’s still unsure as he asks, “Then why did you say that?”
“Because I heard you say those very words to Brandon last night. Outside, at your parents’ house. I was cleaning up and I heard you when I came around the side of the house. You were pretty loud, so I know I didn’t misunderstand you.”
I had no intentions of blurting this out to him – ever. I’m really at my wits end with trying to decipher his male code to find out if he wants more from me than friends or not. For most of the night, I really thought he was ready to take a chance. But I felt like a complete fool when I heard what he said to Brandon. If he only wants to be friends, I will be friends with him, but I can’t keep up this kind of relationship with him any longer.
And handing him that damn waitress’s number? That just plain hurt. So I know without a doubt that I couldn’t stand hearing about his dates like I do with Shane. Shane and I talk openly about his dates and there’s not one bit of jealousy or hurt feelings. I laugh at Shane’s exploits – he always has an interesting story to tell about his latest conquest. Knowing that Luke would want that with someone else, but not with me, would be unbearable.
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