by Mandy Baggot
She retrieved the Vince Gill album from the box and headed back upstairs.
It was his third beer in thirty minutes. He didn’t know what he was doing; he just knew he needed something to get him through it. He was angry. He wanted to go to the music store and tell her just how mad he was. The trouble was, he knew he had no reason to be feeling that way. She didn’t belong to him. He had helped her a little but so what? She didn’t owe him anything. He should be pleased she’d finally recorded again. She was getting back to what she loved, moving on with a new release. Soon she’d be on stage at the Opry and it’d be like they’d never met. And why should it be any other way? Up until a week or so ago he’d never even heard of her.
He got his cell phone out of his jeans and pressed a contact.
‘Hey, Byron it’s Jed. Listen, are you doin’ anything later? I was thinkin’ of headin’ to Cody’s.’
Chapter Fifteen
‘ChapStick,’ Mia announced.
Honor couldn’t believe the record company had sent a stylist over to Cody’s. It was going to be one song and some autograph signing, not a sold-out festival gig. She’d looked at the Asian girl with plaits and three types of rollers in her hand and almost freaked out. Mia had taken charge and ushered her away while Honor had headed for the dressing room. It contained a battered table and chair, a warped mirror and a box of Kleenex.
‘What?’ She was looking at her reflection, squinting her eyes and trying to work out whether she had enough foundation over the scar on her cheek.
‘Listen, doll, I know you don’t want to hear this but Countrified 103 have been plugging this PA all day. Fans have been calling up requesting your songs and on my last look the place is buzzing out there. We don’t want them looking at some over-the-top red gloss on your mouth, we want them focusing on the voice.’
‘You’re starting to sound like Radley.’ Honor traced a finger along her scar, turning to look at the reflection of her side profile.
‘Who?’
‘Radley Stokes. He’s my new contact at the record company. He told me to go on out there and be myself. I can’t imagine how much money they’re paying him to say stuff like that.’
The two women connected a look and shared a laugh. As Mia passed her the ChapStick, Honor caught her hand.
‘Thank you for closing up early and coming here with me.’
‘Come on, doll, where else am I gonna be? Besides there was no way I was missing out on this big news they’ve been tweeting about.’ Mia brushed some loose powder onto Honor’s cheeks.
‘What news?’ She was jittery enough about this event, the last thing she needed was something sprung on her. Would Micro do that? Had they set something up and not told her about it? Her heart paced quicker and she reached for her bottle of water.
‘You not seen it? Along with #HonorB they’ve got #newvoice going out too. People have been asking about it but there’s been very tight-lipped responses. But it’s probably nothing earth-shattering; you know how they hype things.’
The way she was sucking back the Mountain Dew had changed Mia’s tone towards the end of the sentence. The shaking hands had no doubt said all that needed to be said about her opinion on secret news.
‘So, five minutes ‘til show time.’ Mia primped Honor’s curls with her fingers and then placed her hands on her friend’s shoulders. ‘I’m so pleased for you.’
‘Are you? Even if it means me maybe dropping a day at the store?’
‘Doll, I’m expecting you to quit after you bring the house down tonight.’
‘Oh Lord, what have you brought me to?’
Jared hadn’t told Byron about Honor’s big night. He knew what he’d think, and was sure he’d try and talk him out of it. Jared knew Byron wasn’t big on social media so saying nothing had been an easy out.
‘Wanna beer?’ Jared offered.
‘What in the world is this media circus? #HonorB … wait a minute. Honor B? Honor Blackwood?’ Byron stated as the pieces began to fall into place en route to the bar.
‘I’ll get us some beer.’ He hailed the bartender.
‘Did you know about this? What am I saying? Of course you knew about this. That’s why we’re here. What’s going on?’ Byron wanted to know. He removed his Stetson.
‘She’s recorded a track. She’s showcasin’ it here.’ The answer was blunt because he had nothing else to tell him. He didn’t entirely understand his compulsion to be here either.
‘Are you still trying to get her on your tour?’ Byron asked.
Jared shrugged. He didn’t know the answer to that either. If he did still want her to support him on the tour was it for the right reasons?
‘What’s going on, man?’
‘Can we get a couple of Coors?’ Jared ordered. Right at this moment it was easier to ignore Byron than attempt to explain anything. He looked to the stage where two guitarists and a drummer were coming up onto the platform. A roadie stood to the side, tuning a black acoustic.
‘We should try gettin’ a seat,’ Jared said. He handed over some money for the drinks and headed into the crowded bar room.
‘Two minutes, Miss Blackwood.’
The runner, if that’s what he was, looked like a high school student. This was really happening. In two minutes. She flexed her fingers and gripped the water bottle, putting it to her mouth. Empty. Don’t panic. Her hand went to the scar on her cheek and she checked her reflection in the mirror again.
‘You’re gonna be great, doll. Those butterflies you’re getting are good butterflies. You’d be a freaking robot if you weren’t nervous.’
Honor nodded. She couldn’t speak. She was more than just nervous. She was exactly how she knew she would be. She just had to get over herself. It wouldn’t be forever. If she did this this one time, the next time would be easier. That’s how it worked.
She could hear someone on the microphone addressing the crowd. There were cheers and handclapping. The volume was arena level, not bar and grill level. She wanted to be sick.
‘Listen, remember that old guy that kept coming into the store? The one that said he was related to Vince Gill. The one that touched my ass and called me “beauty”. I used to see his car pull into the lot and make an excuse to hide in the basement so you had to serve him. Until you told me he was never going to learn anything about respecting people if I didn’t go out there, stand up in front of him and tell him to take his hands off my butt or take his business elsewhere.’ Mia ran her hands through Honor’s curls. ‘And you were right. And I did. And we never saw him again. This is no different. You’ve got no reason to be afraid. You might not have been born in Nashville but you were made here, doll. And you need to go out there and reclaim that life you loved. Because you sure as hell deserve it.’
Mia was right. She just needed to remember why she was doing this. Not for Micro, not for Larry, not even for her fans. She was doing it for herself. She just needed to regain her strength and her focus, think back to the confident, music industry dominating artist she used to be.
She stood up and grabbed her guitar. ‘I’m ready.’
When the music started he felt the beat thud in his chest. She was really going to do this. In front of all these people, this audience of country music fans, the record company representatives, the dozens of press. He hadn’t seen Cody’s this packed since Luke Bryan had held an impromptu fan-club event. He was worried. He couldn’t believe she was ready for this. He’d seen her lose it just a few days ago in front of a much smaller group. He couldn’t believe this change had happened so quickly. Or was it more a case of him not wanting it to have happened without him? He bit his lip and started to toy with the chain on his belt.
‘Man, this is a launch! I’m expecting smoke machines and dancers any second,’ Byron commented as they watched.
‘Ladies and gentleman! Put your hands together and welcome her back! Here at Cody’s Bar and Grill, Micro Records give to you, the one, the only, the former CMA Female Vocalist of the Year, platinum-selling
artist, Nashville’s own … Honor Blackwood!’
The over-the-top build-up had him sitting forward on his seat and folding his hands behind the back of his neck. He could feel a slick of perspiration at his nape. Half of him wanted to see what was going to happen here, the other half wanted it all to go away.
When she stepped out from the wings his stomach took a dive. There she was, clad in tight jeans, wearing her brown leather cowboy boots and a white gypsy blouse, her raven hair sitting on her shoulders. The sight of her made him swallow down an emotion that had ridden up fast and hard. The roar from the crowd made it obvious how excited they all were to see Honor back and a wave of jealousy pulled at him. She was back to being public property.
She’d put one foot in front of the other and tried to take herself back ten years. How had she felt then? Excited instead of terrified. Hot and alive, ready to give not just her songs but her soul. She could do that again. There was security surrounding the stage. Larry had made sure of it. He’d promised her. But when the lights went up and the bulbs from the cameras started popping and flashing she couldn’t see anything. The sound of appreciation from the audience started to rise in one great cacophony and suddenly she felt hemmed in. She tried to smile, focus her eyes on someone out there she knew. Where was Mia? Where was Larry? Was there security? She looked to her guitarist, Milo.
Chapter Sixteen
Despite missing her initial cue she’d not faltered. Jared was on his feet with the rest of room applauding the return of an outstanding singer. Pride swelled in his chest and coated him all over with a sensation of purpose. If him reaching out to her at the music store was in any way responsible for her come back then he was glad.
‘She blew everyone away. Now I’m believing she could support you on your tour,’ Byron remarked.
He nodded but he didn’t really agree. He wasn’t sure she needed the chance to be a supporting artist. The way the media had rolled today she’d be capable of selling out an arena tour alone.
Her joy was evident though. Her smile was vaster than a queue for Vince Gill concert tickets. Her eyes were bright with delight, her movements showing her pleasure and understated gladness at getting through it.
‘So, ladies and gentlemen, give it up one more time for Honor Blackwood and her brand new single, Goodbye Joe, available to download right now!’
The crowd needed no encouragement to go wild a second time, some even started to reach for their iPhones or MP3s at the mention of ordering the track. Honor beamed at their response before moving off to the edge of the stage as the announcer continued.
‘But that’s not all everybody. Micro has kinda been teasing you a little on Twitter all day but now the moment has come. I’m gonna hand you over to Micro’s Radley Stokes who’s going to let you in on this huge news for the label.’
Jared turned to Byron. ‘D’you know what’s going on?’
‘Me? I didn’t even know this was going on.’
People retook their seats.
Radley Stokes was dressed in a business suit that looked like it was making him sweat. His round face was flushed and his bald head slicked with perspiration.
‘How y’all doin’?’ The forced accent drew sniggers and snorts from the crowd. ’Wasn’t Honor fantastic?’
Jared could see that Honor’s new found confidence was waning. The smile was abashed. She was rubbing her palms on her jeans.
‘You’ve just heard a familiar voice re-launched, now it’s time to introduce you to a new voice. Please put your hands together and show your appreciation for a rising star. The latest artist signed to Micro Records … Dan Steele!’
When his name was announced it was like someone had cut into her. The pleasure of her performance simply evaporated. Everything muted. She could see the crowd clapping, see their mouths opening in appreciation, but it was as if she was having an out-of-body experience. She looked to the left and saw Dan approach from the wings. Wearing a black Stetson, plaid shirt, jeans and boots, he almost bounded center-stage to embrace Radley and clap him on the back. This couldn’t be happening. This had to be some sort of bad joke. She was back on track with her career at Micro and they had gone and signed her ex-boyfriend. She wet her lips with her tongue, took a step backwards and tried to think about something else, anything else than the car crash of her life unraveling before her.
She should leave. She should back her way off the stage and go. She wanted to think. She needed not to be here. Her foot caught on one of the leads and she stumbled.
‘Fuck! What the hell is going on? That asshole!’ Jared was out of his seat, anger burning him up from the inside.
‘Jed, come on, man,’ Byron started, standing up next to him.
‘What the hell are they thinkin’? How can they do this to her?’
He was livid. Micro had taken her moment and given it to Dan Steele. The one guy in the business he’d always loathed. He’d wanted to smash his face in before, now he wanted to smash it in and bury him. He’d done this deliberately. He’d signed with Micro because that’s where Honor was. Dan either wanted to taunt her or get back with her. Whichever one it was he wasn’t going to stand by and let it happen.
On stage someone had passed Dan a guitar. Honor was looking like she wanted the ground to swallow her up. All color had faded from her cheeks and that glow, that light and passion from a job well done had vanished.
‘Move,’ Jared ordered Byron.
‘Jed … ’
‘Get outta my way.’
Jared pushed past Byron and started striding towards the stage with purpose and a look of determination set on his face. As realization dawned that another Nashville artist was in the audience, the press guests started snapping Jared’s approach. He grabbed the guitar from the roadie at the side of the stage and jumped up onto the platform in one leap.
The cameras were the only thing reacting to Jared’s stage invasion. The supposed tight security seemed to have no idea what to do. Did a Nashville star pose a threat? Before anyone could work that out, he’d stepped in front of Honor’s guitarist and taken the microphone from its stand.
‘Hey, everybody. How are y’all doin’?’
The audience responded positively with whoops, cheers and whistles.
‘Say, wasn’t Honor Blackwood amazin’?’ The crowd cheered in agreement. ‘Come join me, Honor.’
He looked to her. Her puzzled expression mixed with the unease he knew she’d be feeling about Micro’s announcement was evident. He couldn’t and wouldn’t let this guy walk in and take her moment from her. His moral core bound him to do right.
She felt giddy. The heat from the excited people, the lights and the music equipment was enveloping her. She didn’t feel like a participant anymore. It was as if time was going slowly, revolving around her, spinning out of her reach.
‘Honor, come over here.’
Jared’s voice seeped into her senses. Instinctively, without stopping to question, she was moving towards him. A spotlight to her left flashed into vision. Black spots floated in her sight and nausea flooded her throat. Her balance was off. Everything was off.
‘I don’t know what else you were gonna say there, Mr Micro Records, but I’m just gonna step right on in and let everyone hear some of my new material.’
She couldn’t really digest what he was saying. Her ears were buzzing, her heart was galloping and she was trying hard to keep her vision in line.
‘Well, I … ’ Radley Stokes started.
Jared hit a loud, well-timed chord on the guitar that silenced him.
‘So, Honor and I, we’ve been workin’ on a little somethin’ together and I was thinkin’ you might like to hear it.’
The noise from the crowd almost took the roof off the bar. The allure of an exclusive and their reaction to it was what he’d been counting on. If the press kept taking photos like they were doing right now, Dan Steele’s news would hardly figure. Now all he had to hope was that Honor would come through.
He
moved towards her, tried to get her to look at him. She was static now, looking in the direction of Micro’s latest signing. This stunt had to work.
‘This is Trapped by Love.’
He began to play the song he’d worked on with Honor at his studio. The track she’d helped him with but not sung. Apart from punching out Dan Steele again, this was the only other thing he could think of to make this right.
We’ve come so far, left the past behind
But the memories won’t let us switch off
We’ve hurt so long, we’ve prayed so hard
Now a new start’s all we’ve got
With your hand in mine, we’ll try to stop time
Just long enough to run away
You’re the only one that’s ever made wanna stay anyway
She loved the song. She’d love the song the second he’d played her the first verse. It combined everything she adored about country music. There was a strong story in the words, a tight verse, written traditionally with a rock kick. It was going to be a huge hit and it deserved to be. She stepped up to the microphone and joined in with the chorus.
Trapped by love, not circumstance
Trapped by heart, it’s bad romance
Trapped by lust, no coincidence
Baby, I’m trapped by you
And Lord I know you feel it too
She took up the second verse as if it had always been destined to be their song. She was so into the music everything else was forgotten.
Wasting here, just biding time
Making up for falling down
The times I cried cos you’re my guy
I saw the way my momma frowned
But touching you and feeling this close to something so far away
Has me made feel like a lonely star who finally found the Milky Way
She locked eyes with Jared as he joined her in singing towards the bridge and her whole body began to feel the glow from the performance. This was the sensation she’d missed. These moments with the notes and lyrics, completely absorbed in the here and now, totally immersed in the sound - it was as if there was no one else in the bar at all. She was there in body alone, her spirit flying, her essence soaring up as the music built to its crescendo.