by Wendi Zwaduk
Mr. Black climbed onto the couch cushion beside her and sniffed the air. He flicked his tail then settled in a ball between her feet. His purrs vibrated the couch. She scratched him behind the ears, oddly comforted by his otherwise silent presence.
“I’m not going to get upset,” she reminded herself. “I’m not cowering to him, but he’d better have a good reason for keeping this a secret.”
A knock echoed in the foyer. Tessa wiped her tears and sucked in a long breath to compose herself. She peeked through the privacy hole. The breath rushed from her chest, but she opened the door. Trust Graig’s ex to find her. What did the blonde want?
“Lila.” Tessa kept the doorknob in hand. “Aren’t you on the wrong side of the apartment building?”
“I like to visit all parts of the building.” She grinned and adjusted her wallet-sized purse dangling from her arm. “You’re probably wondering why I’m here.”
“Not really.”
“Cute.” She pressed her crimson lips together then patted her hair in place. “Have you talked to Graig?
“Yes,” she lied. “A few moments ago. He’s coming over for our date. We’re going to the basketball game. Valley’s headed to the playoffs.” Not a total fib. They’d discussed attending the game, but never finalized the plans.
“Basketball game?” Lila crooked one dark brow and snorted. “I doubt it. He hates basketball.” She propped her manicured hand on her hip. “He hasn’t told you. If he had, you’d be a puddle on the floor.”
“Assumption is a dangerous thing.” Tessa gripped the knob tighter to hide her shaking.
“Very true.” She fiddled with the bracelets jangling on her thin wrist. “If he hasn’t said anything, then I’ll share my big news. I figure you should know since this will affect you too.”
Tessa kept her mouth shut. Lila would be gone as soon as she bragged about her so-called big news.
“I’m pregnant.” Lila slapped her hands together. “Three months along. Graig and I can’t be happier. He’s switching schools so he can be closer to the house we’re buying.”
Tessa gulped and swept her gaze over Lila’s stick-thin body. She did the math in her head. The last time she saw Lila and Graig together had been more than three months before. Two of those months he’d been seeing her. The three-month mark wasn’t quite enough to show the pregnancy. Some women didn’t show until closer to the fifth month. Shit. No wonder he wanted the transfer.
“I’m heading to Graig’s so we can shop for baby furniture. Have to fill that house.” She flipped her hair over her shoulder. “I figured you’d want to know.”
“Thanks.” Tessa kept her emotions in check. Plenty of children were born to couples not living together. Graig wouldn’t mistreat a child. She pressed her trembling hands to her thighs. He never said a word about buying a house.
“He didn’t tell you we were trying to get pregnant or any of our other plans, did he? I’m sure he would have mentioned it if he had any plans for you in his future. He’s been so happy to try over and over and thrilled to find a place for the three of us.”
Another thing he’d neglected to tell her. “The topic never came up.”
“Oh.” Lila whipped her phone from her pocket then swiped her thumb across the screen. “Good. He’s home.” She narrowed her eyes and stepped in close to Tessa. “You might have him now, but I always get what I want. You won’t stand in my way.” She blew an air kiss then sashayed down the hallway. “Well, I’ll see you around, Auntie Tessa.”
Tessa closed the door then slumped to the floor. Mr. Black strolled up to where she sat and bumped his head on her hand. Too many thoughts bombarded her. He wanted to get back with Lila? Wanted to buy a house with her? Not possible. He claimed Lila meant nothing to him. Her words chilled Tessa to the bone. I always get what I want. No doubt. Graig wasn’t the lying type. He told her everything, sometimes more than she wanted to know. He’d have mentioned the transfer and wanting to end their relationship. Something didn’t feel right about the whole situation, but she wasn’t sure what it was that bothered her.
“I want to believe him, I do.” Tears slipped down her cheeks. “I want to trust that this is all a ridiculously huge joke or a misunderstanding.” She hugged the cat to her chest. Her emotions flowed free for quite a while. The hurt from her past mixed with the frustration for her current situation. The few times she’d trusted men, they let her down. She let go of the cat and wiped her face with the back of her hand. Why the hell was she letting a man make or break her? If he wanted to go, then fine. If he and Lila were going to share their lives together, then wonderful.
She had her own life to live.
Chapter Nine
Dazed didn’t begin to describe Graig’s emotions. Blindsided, dumbstruck—those words worked, but still not close enough. He rested his head on his left hand and stared at the computer screen. For the last two hours, Lila talked nonstop about the baby and how things were working out the way she wanted.
He reeled. What about what he wanted? When he slept with her, he always used protection. Always. Sure, accidents happened and condoms broke, but damn. So much for her claims of being on the Pill.
“Tessa knows. She’s thrilled for us.” Lila plopped on his lap and threw her arms around his neck, blocking his view of the computer.
Graig frowned. Thrilled? He knew Tessa well enough to guarantee baby talk wouldn’t thrill her. Hell, he wasn’t happy about the news either.
“You are going to dump her, right? The baby needs both his parents.” She stared at him when she spoke. “I need you. I refuse to raise our child alone.”
A baby could have both parents without said parents being together. He knew firsthand. His father walked out before Graig hit age six. Graig and his mother managed just fine. He tapped his foot and sorted through the information. Lila’s words made perfect sense, but her math didn’t. He needed to look at the transfer paperwork one more time.
“Lila, I need some alone time. You’ve given me a lot to think about and I’m overwhelmed. I wasn’t planning to be a father quite so fast and we’re not even together. You dumped me for Jacob or whatever his name was and I’m…in over my head.” He placed his finger over her lips to silence her reply. “Give me a couple days to sort out how I feel about this.”
She smiled and kissed his fingers. “You got it, sexy. You’ve always been my baby. I never should’ve let you go and I’m glad I don’t have to now.” Lila stood and strolled across the living room. “Take the time you need. I’ll be waiting for you.”
His stomach churned. He needed to see Tessa—after he did a search on his computer. The email from the McKinley board came in reply to an email he’d sent. He remembered sending an initial email back in August inquiring about the seventh grade American history teaching position. But Valley offered him a year contract first and he’d abandoned the search. He’d filled out the transfer paperwork and left it in a folder on his hard drive. Graig waited for Lila to leave then typed the name of the transfer paperwork into the search box. Three files returned in the results. The first two matched the dates he’d fiddled with the files last. The third didn’t. He rubbed his chin. A saved file from the end of October? He clicked on the internet and logged in to his email. According to the log-in information, he’d last logged in three hours before. He knew better. He’d been halfway through writing down a lesson on Lincoln’s assassination in his lesson planner. Odd.
Graig sat back in his chair and folded his arms. If he hadn’t played with the file for the transfer since August, but managed to save a version in October, then maybe the file showed up somewhere else. He unfolded his arms then searched his sent mail and trash for anything labeled McKinley. Seven emails he’d never seen popped up. Four were from the initial request for the paperwork. He clicked on the first email dated in October.
“Dear Sirs, I’d like to reopen my request for an application and transfer to your district,” he read aloud. “Reopen? I never opened it in the first p
lace.” He skimmed the rest of the email, as well as the reply from the superintendent’s secretary. The next email chilled him to the bone. The October file had been attached to the request for an interview. Teachers didn’t request interviews. The board and superintendent did. He read through the forms. The information didn’t make sense. It looked legit, but he knew better. The signature wasn’t his. The loopy lettering looked nothing like his tight scrawl. Someone was fucking with his life and career. Somehow emails were coming to his account, being read and deleted before he’d even seen them. Too bad the person wasn’t smart enough to dump the trash files.
Graig unplugged his laptop then grabbed his keys before he sprinted across the building to Tessa’s apartment. He knocked on her door. “Tessa?”
His heart pounded. The longer she took to answer, the lower his spirits sank. “Tess?”
The door opened and Tessa waved her hand. “Hi, Graig. Come in.” Warmer than he expected, but still colder than ice. “How are you?”
“We need to talk.” He fought to catch his breath. “Please?”
“Fine.” She perched on the couch and folded her hands on her knees. The clingy fabric of her workout pants clung to her frame, giving him hints of the body he craved. Hers. “Go for it.”
Not the vote of confidence he needed, but he’d manage. He took a deep breath and let it out while he worked through what he wanted to say. “The transfer is bogus. I never agreed to it. The signature on the forms isn’t mine.”
“Okay.” No warmth in her eyes. No smile on her lips. “Case closed.”
Not really. “Lila said she talked to you. Everything she’s said is a lie. I’m not buying a house and I’m pretty sure she’s not pregnant.” Graig paced the length of her living room. “The timing is off. We slept together for the last time at the end of August…more than five months ago. I can’t figure out how she’s just now pregnant and claiming she’s only three months along.”
“Maybe she fudged the due date?” Tessa tipped her head and shrugged. She offered him a sympathetic half-smile.
“Like the imaginary house she made up?” He plopped onto the opposite end of her couch and opened his laptop. “I could understand if we were trying to have a kid. We weren’t. Hell, we couldn’t be in the same room for more than ten minutes without arguing. She’s always got an agenda and no one will get in her way. I’ve got the feeling she cooked this up for some reason only God understands. Look.” Fucking hell. Lila never liked Tessa to begin with. When they last talked, Lila’s words echoed in his head. You’ve always been my baby. I never should’ve let you go and I’m glad I don’t have to now. His heart sank. The moment he got involved with Lila, he’d invited crazy into his life. Graig clicked on the transfer paperwork file. “Look, this isn’t mine.” He turned the laptop toward her. “I’m happy at Valley. I revoked the transfer back in September because I want to stay in our hallway—with you.”
“You don’t have to explain it to me.” Tessa patted his hand then withdrew from him.
“Yes, I do. You’re my girl. I love you.”
Her eyes widened then the iciness returned. “You don’t mean that. You’ve got other things to worry about besides me. Get your life sorted out. I’m here if you need me.”
“Tessa, you don’t get it. I know how it is to be the son of a single mom. That was my life. It wasn’t the easiest thing to do, but we managed. I don’t love Lila, but if we created a child, I’ll be the father I never had.” He inched across the couch. “But I don’t love her.” He slipped her hand into his. “I love you. I can’t see my life without you.”
Tessa pulled away from him. “I need to think.”
Fuck. He’d just said those words to Lila.
“A lot of things are happening and I’m not sure what to think.” She rubbed her arms. “I need a scorecard to keep up. You’re involved with me, but you’re kind of involved with her. You’re willing to help her raise the kid, but you still want me around. I’m not sure I fit into this scenario. I’d be in the way.”
Double fuck. “Don’t shut me out, babe.”
“I’m not shutting you out. Lila says you’ve helped to create a life. I’m giving you the freedom to do what you need to do for the kid. I’m letting you go.” She wrapped her arms around him, holding him tight. “Make me proud and be the dad your kid needs.” She let go then escaped into the solitude of her bedroom. The door snicked shut, leaving him alone.
Graig thrust his fingers into his hair. The woman he loved let him go, while the woman he might have fathered a kid with held on to him for dear life. His sense of humor battled with his gut feelings. Once he walked away from Tessa, he’d never find another woman like her. If he gave in to Lila, odds were she’d be lying.
Time. The whole situation boiled down to needing time to sort it out.
What a wad of shit.
Chapter Ten
Tessa stared at her lesson planner, not seeing the words. Christmas came and went without a word from Graig. They shared a hallway and nothing else. She’d given him a baseball signed by the local Triple-A ball team. He left a simple gold necklace on her desk as a present. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t bring herself to wear the chain. The thank-you note she’d penned never quite made it to his hands.
She closed her book and stared out the window at the swirling January snow. Writing lesson plans meant focusing. She’d tried for the last month to concentrate on teaching and failed. Her pride insisted she stand strong. Her heart crumbled. She held things together during school hours, but the moment school dismissed, her troubles came back in full force.
Avoiding him wasn’t helping. She turned the staff flyer over. A note about the upcoming Valentine’s dinner caught her attention. Shit. Two weeks away from Valentine’s Day and no date. Just her luck.
She stood and adjusted the clip in her hair. Her neck ached from hunching over the plan book. From the corner of her eye, she noticed something white moving across her floor. A baseball. Tessa walked over and picked up the ball then glanced at the door.
Graig, dressed in jogging pants and a tight T-shirt, stood in the doorway and grinned. “Dropped my gear in the hallway. Darned balls like to roll all over.”
She held on to the baseball. If he’d dropped anything, she’d have heard the crash. The noise would’ve echoed off the cinderblock walls. He lied in order to talk to her? She didn’t care. She missed their banter and camaraderie. “How’s the baby or was it really a figment of her imagination?”
“Funny you should ask.” Graig leaned on the doorframe. “Lila still hadn’t told me the relative date we created the bundle or the exact date the child was supposed to be due. I insisted on a paternity test. She balked until I marched her to the clinic. I saw everything, which was nothing. The doctor called me this afternoon with the results I expected. And the house we are supposedly buying? There isn’t one.”
“I see.” She didn’t. Not really. The whole situation seemed pretty straightforward but made no sense to her whatsoever.
“I don’t think you do. The whole thing is a farce. No baby. The doctor confirmed everything. She might have gained a little weight, but the only place there’s a baby is in Lila’s mind. I knew Lila wanted things her way, but I never expected her to get this devious. I called her out and she’s stuck.”
“Sounds like you’ve got it all figured out.” She winced and massaged her temples. She hadn’t planned to sound so curt.
“Yeah.” His shoulders slumped. “You know what? I’m not going to dance around this. I’m tired of games.” He crossed the room in five large strides. “Tessa, I love you. You might not care about me, but I’m crazy in love with you.” He cupped her face in both hands. “I’m the bastard son of a married man and his secretary. He lied to her, told her he’d marry her then stopped seeing her altogether when I was six. She married another guy who tried to be my dad. I knew better and knowing I didn’t belong to Gerald really fucked with my head. I didn’t know where I belonged. I decided I
wasn’t going to put myself in her position. I’d get a good job and have a stable life with a wife and kids I loved. Except I’ve realized my mom followed her heart. She loved me the way she knew how. I’m not perfect but I love you in the only way I know how. My heart belongs to you and I can’t walk away.”
“Graig.” She wobbled on her feet. His words seared onto her brain. She gripped the sides of his T-shirt. Her eyes burned with unshed tears.
“Tessa, you make me laugh, cry and want to rip out my hair sometimes. When I realized you were the woman dancing for me, I knew I belonged right here in this building and this school district. We were drawn together and I belong with you. I volunteered for this hallway.”
“But—”
He placed his index finger on her bottom lip. “Let me finish. When you gave me the freedom to sort things out, it hurt. Bad. I poured out my heart to you and you took the high road. But I understood. The shit with Lila wasn’t fair and I needed to prove myself to you. Dennis never knew how special you were. He didn’t see the beautiful woman too scared she’d be pushed away again. I’m tired of letting your fear and hesitation win. I’m not going anywhere. I love you and I’m sticking around until you see that. I’ve never lied to you. I couldn’t.”
“Dennis sorted out your paperwork?” she blurted. Tears slipped down her cheeks.
“Yes, I revoked the bogus transfer.”
“I hoped you would say that,” she whispered.
“Right before school started, the board threatened to put me on the permanent sub slot for another year. I didn’t want to sub. I wanted to teach history. I filled out the paperwork somewhat then forgot about it because the school called and gave me my job. The more time I spent around you on a daily basis, the more I realized our friendship mattered more than anything. I never signed the papers and left them on my hard drive. I didn’t want to go, but someone else hit the Send button.”
“Lila?”