by Kelly Irvin
“We do. Ach, stop it. We don’t talk about our drawers.”
“Yet you just did.” Juliette grinned and took a big bite of cookie. She chewed with great satisfaction. “I take it Leesa baked these cookies.”
“Now you’re insulting my baking.” Mercy rolled her eyes and shook her head, even though it was true. Leesa had always been the better cook. “Why exactly are we friends?”
“Because you know I’ll always tell you the truth.” Juliette laid the cookie on a napkin and pointed toward the road. “And the truth is, life is about to get much more interesting.”
“I don’t need my life to be more interesting.” In the midst of terrible destruction, her new life was unfolding. She needed nothing else in this world, except to work next to Caleb, rebuilding their little piece of God’s gift to them.
She leaned forward and put her hand to her forehead against the sun. Tim’s truck pulled in next to a dozen others on the road. The sun made her squint. “Who is that with Tim?”
“That would be Spencer.” Juliette dusted crumbs from her hands and stuck her cowboy hat on her head. “I do believe you have company.”
“If I have company, so do you.”
Mercy hopped up. Juliette grabbed her hand. “Wait. I have to tell you something.”
Mercy paused. Juliette sounded so unlike herself. Uncertain. She was never uncertain. “What is it?”
“I’m thinking about teaching.”
Hallelujah. She sat back down. “That’s wunderbarr!”
“You think so? Really?” Juliette’s face scrunched up in a half frown, half smile. “Am I crazy? I’d have to go back and take education courses and student teach and it means more school loans and being away from home again, but I know how badly teachers are needed around here and I really want to stay close to . . . home and—”
“Stop.” Mercy threw her arms around her friend and hugged her hard. “You can do anything you set your mind to. That’s what makes you . . . you.”
“Thanks.” Juliette hid her face on Mercy’s shoulder for a second. Then her head came back up. “Spencer’s headed this way.”
“Nothing unusual about that. He’s a friend.”
“Uh-huh.” Juliette waved and stalked off toward Tim and his truck.
Why did no one believe her when it came to Spencer? Mercy scooped up half a dozen dirty paper plates and stuffed them in an oversized trash bag.
“Hey, Mercy.”
“Hey.” She dumped the trash, tied up the full bag, and lifted it out.
“Let me help you with that.” Spencer loomed over her. “It’s heavy.”
“And you’re on crutches.”
“But not helpless.” He followed her out to the pile of debris by the road where they were stacking the trash bags. The men would take them to the Dumpster later. “I couldn’t leave without saying good-bye.”
“Did you talk to your mom?” She hoisted the bag into the growing stack and turned to face him. “Did you find it in your heart to forgive her?”
“I did. Because of you.” He shook his head. “You’re not like any woman I’ve ever known. Except maybe one. This time I’ve had, talking to you, has helped me get my head on straight better than time with any shrink. I just wanted to say thank you.”
“You don’t owe me any thanks.” Glancing around at the beehive of activity, Mercy dusted her hands off and started walking. Any second they would notice her conversation with Spencer and she’d be in hot water all over again. She couldn’t allow that to matter. Spencer had come into her life so suddenly, and now he would be gone just as quickly. “Talking to you helped me figure out some things too. I was feeling sorry for myself instead of seeing all the blessings in my life. And, by the way, you were right about Caleb. So we’re even. I hope you find what you need.”
“Me too. I mean, I plan to. I know just where to start, soon as the repairs on my mom’s house are finished.”
In easy silence, they walked on together. Concern written all over her face, Juliette met them halfway. “Tim said you wanted to help.” She squeezed between Mercy and Spencer. “I thought maybe you’d be helping your mother. I drove by the other day and it seemed like a bunch of people were working.”
Mercy shared a smile with Spencer. Juliette was so cute in her worry, and so off base.
“The insurance money will make it possible to rebuild completely. She’ll have a better house than before with the new kitchen and new appliances.” Spencer picked up the conversation as if he had no idea why Juliette had intervened. “I kicked in for a new washer and dryer. We finished demoing. They’re working on framing the new rooms today. I have to get back soon.”
“My parents have dipped into their retirement savings until their insurance check arrives.” Juliette squeezed Mercy’s hand and let it drop. “We need to get the house boxed in before winter gets here.”
Everybody was in that same boat. The community workforce would pick up and move to the Knowleses’ property once they had the Yoders’ house boxed in. They were making the rounds.
“Have you talked to FEMA? They’re helping the people affected by the hurricane in Texas. They’ve got temporary buildings and money for rebuilding.” Spencer hunched over his crutches and winced as if something hurt. “We’ve got firefighters down there helping too.”
“Too much bureaucracy and red tape. Besides, we like to take care of ourselves,” Juliette replied, but her attention seemed elsewhere. Tim was talking to her dad. “As long as we’re able to do that, we figure others need the government’s help more.”
Mercy nudged Juliette with her elbow. Something was up with her friend. “And we Plain folks have our own emergency fund. We pay for our own schools, medical bills, everything we need. We don’t expect to be rescued. No one owes us anything.”
When it came to rebuilding or to love.
“That’s admirable.”
“We don’t think so. It’s just the right thing to do.”
“I guess I should see if there’s something a gimpy guy on two crutches can help with.” He paused. “Take care.”
Juliette groaned. “Just go.”
“Juliette!”
“It’s okay.” Spencer smiled, but his eyes filled in the rest of his message. He would never forget her, nor she him. “See you around, Mercy. Juliette.”
“Not if we see you first.” Juliette growled like Doodles when he tussled with Lola over a rag toy. “Good riddance.”
Mercy waited until he was out of earshot to turn to Juliette. “You didn’t need to be so mean.”
“You’re too nice. Go find Caleb. Tell him you’ll marry him and stop hem-hawing around.”
“You have no idea what you’re talking about. Caleb and I are good. More than good. So take care of your own business.” Mercy shook her finger at Juliette. “Stop avoiding Tim. Tell him you’re planning to return to church and then do it. Tim’s not the only one waiting on you. Gott is waiting.”
“Well, be that way.” An expression of infinite uncertainty on her face, Juliette flounced away.
* * *
Having her own advice blow up in her face was no fun. Pondering her next move, Juliette sauntered through clusters of workers who looked like coal miners with black soot all over their faces and clothes. Spencer paused to talk to Tim and then walked away. She waited until he was out of earshot, then moved in.
“What did you say to Spencer?” Tim’s eyebrows were getting a workout. “He said he was hitching a ride back to Eureka with Emmett.”
“I told him he should go work on his mother’s house and leave Mercy alone. Not in those exact words, but like that.”
“That’s not very nice.” Tim followed the other man’s progress for a few seconds, then turned to Juliette. “The guy’s trying to get his act together. Give him a break.”
“Caleb is totally into her and she’s blowing it because of a guy who has the hots for a girl in a long dress and apron.”
“You do have a mouth on you, girl.”
Tim grabbed her hat and shoved it down on her forehead. “What is it exactly that drives me nuts about you?”
“Do you have a couple of minutes for me before we dive into the mess?”
“Always.”
Her throat constricted. Despite the breeze, perspiration dampened her face. She breathed and lifted her anxiety to the sky. Whatever happened, happened. She had no control. Never had. Dr. Kenyon said people were afraid of letting go of control and giving it over to God.
Dad would line up a Christian counselor. But Dr. Kenyon was nice and she didn’t judge. Or cough up platitudes. “Let’s walk down the road. I saw some little green leaves popping through the dirt down by the creek.”
How many people watched them walk away?
It didn’t matter. Mom and Dad would be glad. So would Courtney. Her sister asked all kinds of questions and popped up to give her hugs and kisses at the strangest moments—in the middle of an MU game on TV or Monopoly night or when she was sound asleep in the double bed in Aunt T’s house.
After a while Tim took her hand like it was the most natural thing in the world.
The creek burbled in the distance. A hawk soared overhead. Patches of green trees mingled with burnt sticks that crunched under their feet.
“Are you planning to talk, or are we just stretching our legs?”
She let go of his hand and turned to watch the tiny waves lap against the creek’s shore. Tim stood next to her, his fists jammed into his pockets. “How is the counseling?”
“It’s good. Good.”
“Would you tell me if it wasn’t?”
“I would. I’m through keeping secrets. The last one ate a hole the size of a tire in my gut.”
A visit to her family doctor had revealed an ulcer. New medications and a bland diet did nothing to improve her mood. Dr. Kenyon said medical doctors didn’t believe stress caused ulcers, but she believed Juliette’s stomach pain was a symptom of a spiritual malaise as much as a physical one. Dealing with buried, smoldering anger, fear, and shame would help alleviate her symptoms on both counts.
“I feel helpless. Like I should do something, but I don’t know what.” Tim scooped up a handful of rocks and began tossing them into the water. With each throw his scowl deepened. “I want to take care of you. Like a friend would.”
He tacked on that last piece in a last-ditch effort to keep his distance. Juliette picked up her own rock and skipped it neatly across the water. “Dr. Kenyon thinks it would be good for you to come to counseling in a few weeks.”
“I’m willing to do anything that helps you.” He stared at the remaining rocks in his hand as if he didn’t know how they got there. “But it’s really personal. More like couples counseling.”
“We are a couple.”
“You can’t begin to imagine how much I wish that were true. I told you I would never leave you and I won’t. I will be your best friend until I die.” His voice vibrated with contained emotion. He heaved the rocks far beyond the creek and into the high grass on the other side. “You have no idea—”
“Come to church with me tomorrow?”
“What?”
“Come to my church tomorrow. Pastor David is inviting everyone, including the Amish families, for a joint service of thanksgiving that we’re back home and rebuilding.”
“And you’re going?”
“I met with him yesterday. About joining the church.”
Tim’s forehead wrinkled. He shook his head as if trying to clear it after a punch to the face.
“Don’t think so hard.” She patted his chest. “I’ve been talking to him almost as often as my counselor. She’s the one who suggested it. I told Pastor David I’m finished running. God’s got me right where He wants me.”
“You believe?”
“Deep down, I always did, but I was mad at Him. Furious.” She slid her hand into the crook of Tim’s arm and leaned her head against his shoulder. “So furious I couldn’t see that He was the rock I could cling to when my life imploded. I could rely on Him when no one else came through.”
Tim’s fingers touched her chin, forcing her to meet his gaze. His blue eyes were filled with emotion. “I’m so happy for you. So relieved.”
“That I’m not going to hell?”
He laughed. “That and because I can allow myself to hope.”
“What are you hoping for?”
“I think you know, but this isn’t about me. As much as I tried to make it about me. Your eternal salvation is way more important than my libido.”
“Don’t start with the churchy talk again.” Juliette poked him with her elbow. “I want to hear more about your libido.”
“Let’s get you back to church first.” His arm came around her shoulders and he moved her into a tight hug. His chin nuzzled the top of her head. “Let Dr. Kenyon know I’ll take off work whenever she’s ready to see us together. I’ve waited this long, I can wait as long as necessary.”
“Maybe I can’t.”
“It’ll be worth it, I promise you that.”
He slid his cowboy hat back. She stretched on tiptoes to meet him. His lips pressed against hers. Her hands slid up his chest. His came around her waist and lifted her up.
Gently, he set her back on solid ground.
“Lord, have mercy.” She couldn’t help herself. “For a church boy, you do know how to kiss.”
“If you hadn’t held it against me for barfing all over you, you’d have known that years ago. I’m also a decent dancer.” He grinned. “Let’s get back to work before I lose any more of my self-control.”
“Speaking of work, what do you think about me going back to school?”
His smile faded. “Why would you do that?”
“Mercy has this crazy idea about me teaching.”
“That’s not crazy at all.” His hands caressed her cheeks. “Teachers are always in demand.”
“I kind of like the idea too. I—”
His lips covered hers before she could complete the sentence. It could wait. They had the rest of their lives to figure it out. The kiss melted the last remaining vestiges of fear. The wounds would never disappear completely. Scars would remain, but the possibility of healing made joy shimmer on the horizon.
Tim gently disengaged and backed away.
“We have to go back. Now.”
Laughing, she tugged on his arm. “One more couldn’t hurt.”
He stumbled up the incline. Juliette pursued him.
Together they ran toward the Yoders’ yard. Laughing and gasping for air.
That life could be good again in the midst of devastation simply provided more proof of God’s goodness.
42
West Kootenai, Montana
Walking into Kootenai Community Church felt like coming home. Standing in front of a sanctuary packed to the rafters with every family in West Kootenai, Juliette waved at her family and blew Tim a kiss. She did like an audience. A few questions and Pastor David simply said, “Welcome to the fold.”
Cheers rang out. Applause resounded. Mom and Dad, neither trying to hide their tears, stood and clapped. Courtney yelled wahoo with her exuberant friends. People Juliette had known since she blew bubbles on the church lawn cheered and clapped. They celebrated with her on the biggest day of her life.
God, it’s taken me a while, but I made it. Sorry for being such a big baby about it. Thank You for being patient. Thank You for these people. Thank You for Tim. Thank You.
“I hope you’ll stop to congratulate Juliette in the foyer afterward.” Pastor David grinned and pumped his fist. “The good Lord caught another one today.”
He raised his hands to pronounce the benediction.
“Wait!” Tim left his spot next to Lyle Knowles and made it to the altar in two long strides. “I have something to say.”
In his button-down, long-sleeve white shirt, tie, dark-navy slacks, and slick black cowboy boots, he looked almost as good as he did in his uniform. He’d slicked back his hair and shaved. He could say
anything he wanted as long as Juliette could stand there and drink him in. She might even listen. He took her hand and mouthed an apology to Pastor David. “Do you mind?”
Pastor David didn’t flinch. “Be my guest.”
Tim’s big hands wrapped around her small fingers. His dark-blue eyes brimmed with unshed tears. Her throat closed. This big, gorgeous teddy bear belonged to her. Only the crowd watching with anticipation kept her from kissing his handsome face right then and there.
He knelt on one knee with startling grace.
“What are you doing?” Sounds died away, leaving a breathless anticipation reverberating in her ears. “Tim?”
His Adam’s apple bobbed. His grip tightened. He stared up at her with a face so filled with love, her world shrank until Tim and she were alone. The lights dimmed. Time took a bow. Hurt receded. Hope danced.
“I’ve loved you since before I barfed all over your lunch in the school cafeteria.” A ripple of laughter floated on the air from somewhere far away. “I never thought a guy like me had a chance with a girl so incredibly beautiful and smart and funny. If ever there were a case of beauty and the beast—”
“Tim!”
“Let me finish. Since that day on the highway when I gave you four tickets, I’ve prayed to God for your salvation and to win your love.” He removed one hand and stuck it in his shirt pocket. A second later a sparkling ring appeared. Juliette’s body swayed. His grip tightened. “The Shepherd found His lost lamb. We’re standing on sacred ground—or kneeling as the case may be. I know we still have a rough road ahead. I know it won’t be easy. But I want you to know I’m committed to you and to walking that road with you. I can’t think of a more beautiful place to ask this question. Juliette, will you marry me—when you’re ready?”
A collective gasp joined with Juliette’s.
Everything she’d ever wanted fell into place. She stood with God, her family, her church, and her friends surrounding her and the man she loved on his knees professing his love for her. “I would be honored.” The words came easily after all. “I’ve loved you since you barfed all over my tray. I was just too wrapped up in myself to know it. You are my compass. Without you, I would never have found my way home. Yes, I will marry you.”