Jamie was starting to get even hotter than she’d been outside. She heard Penny on the phone with her husband.
“Darling, I’m fine. But I can’t make it home… Of course, there aren’t any taxis to drive me out there, Davis… But I can stay here... on the... Oh, I don’t know. The floor or something.”
Jamie caught Penny’s eye. She motioned come with me.
“Look, I’ve got a friend here, I can stay at her place…. Yes… Alright. Yes, I will.”
Penny hung up the phone. She slid it back to the woman. “I’ll appreciate this forever, thank you.”
She turned to Jamie. “Alright, Ms. Brennan, what do you suggest?”
“Bus down Fifth?”
“It sounds about as appealing as any of the rest of it.”
After a thirty two block-packed-to-the-rafters-with-sweaty-people bus ride, Jamie and Penny disembarked. The bus pulling away belching invisible exhaust.
And now the two of them were standing on a completely pitch black corner of 10th Street and Fifth Avenue.
They stared uptown at darkened silhouettes of buildings.
"Oh my god," Penny said. "Look at the Empire State Building."
Everything just shapes. Shades of black.
“Jamie,” Penny said, gazing uptown. “That is bloody eerie.”
" I’m a block this way. We should probably put that quick walking of yours to good use.”
A few paces down West 10th Street, the world became even darker without the benefit of cabs and cars.
“Um,” Penny said quietly. “There’s a car behind us driving rather slowly.”
Jamie turned. She saw it too. A beat-up El Dorado. Chugging behind them on 10th Street.
They were almost at University Place.
"I see him," Jamie said. "Let's just be cool."
As Jamie turned to look again, the headlights of the car switched off. And the car started pulling towards them.
"Holy shit,” Jamie whispered.
Penny saw it too. ”Right."
“Hey, Penny,” Jamie said quietly, her heart pounding. “How would you feel about running?”
“I’d feel pretty good about it actually.”
And with that, the two of them broke into a full sprint down 10th Street.
Jamie turned left at the corner of University Place, grabbing Penny and pulling her along.
They got to the doorway next to the pizza place.
“This is me,” Jamie said, out of breath.
Jamie fumbled for her keys, found them, shoved the key in the lock and pushed the door open. “Head on in. I’m just at the top of the stairs.”
Jamie spotted down the street - the candles on the tables at the Cedar Bar. Still serving. That place would take a nuclear bomb to stop going,
She heard Penny making her way up the wooden steps, Jamie called in after her.
“I’ll meet you at the top. Just hang on.”
“Okay. It smells like pizza!”
“Why do you think I don’t get my writing done?”
Jamie stepped inside, pulled the door to the street closed and locked the deadbolt. The stairway was pitch black.
“Um,” she said.
“Follow my voice,” Penny called from the top of the stairs.
“Anywhere,” Jamie thought. Which she knew was really not the right thing to think.
46
Inside Jamie’s apartment was just as dark as the rest of the city.
Penny walked into a table. Everything clattered. “Oh, sorry, I think I broke your - something.”
“Nothing valuable in here,”Jamie laughed.
Jamie was feeling her way into the kitchen using her hands.
She walked into the kitchen table with a clonk.
“Ow. Okay. Mental note - that’s where the kitchen table is…”
In the darkness, she pulled open the drawer next to the sink and fished around inside, plucking out two flashlights. She clicked one on. It lit enough area to see Penny.
“Voila,” Jamie said.
“Ah, brilliant. And then there was light. I’m quoting now.”
“I don’t know that book.”
“It’s good. A little long. Needs some editing.”
Penny set her purse down on the kitchen table. “This is a lifesaver. Thank you, Jamie.”
“I’m sure it’s not what you’re used to, a studio on University Place,” Jamie smiled. “But you’re safe. This’ll do till the morning,” she said. “They’ve got to have the power going by then.”
“It’s perfect.”
“The phone is over there if you want to call your husband and let him know you’re okay.”
“Thanks.”
Jamie hoped she hadn't said ‘husband’ with the vocal equivalent of those frosty letters that say ‘it’s cool inside’ on a restaurant sign.
“And I’ll grab you some shorts and a t-shirt to change into.”
“That’s very kind.”
“They won’t be from Saks Fifth Avenue.”
“I’ll survive.”
Penny caught her eye. The look lingered there.
“Jamie, thanks.”
Jamie smiled. “You haven’t seen the shorts yet…”
A few minutes later, Jamie made her way out through the back window onto the fire escape where Penny was already settled.
Penny had changed out of her elegant black dress into a thin, white v-neck t-shirt and blue drawstring shorts Jamie had given her. She’d flipped her hair up.
She was sitting casually, leaning against the stairs, bare legs outstretched in front of her.
She’d already lit three of the colorful round picnic table candles Jamie kept out there.
“I like what you’ve done with the place,” Jamie said.
She held up a cold bottle of Schlitz. In her other hand was a small ice bucket with three more bottles and the rest of the ice from the fridge.
“Beer?”
“Good god, yes.”
Jamie took in the sight of Penny Langston in gym shorts and a thin t-shirt.
“Okay, seeing you dressed like that. That’s hilarious.”
“I have been known to wear shorts, Ms. Brennan, just not at the office.”
“Yeah, sure.”
Jamie popped the cap of the beer with a bottle opener and handed it to Penny.
She sat down and leaned back on the fire escape. A siren cut the air a few blocks away somewhere.
She slid an already opened beer out of the ice bucket and tilted it to her lips, downing a few frosty gulps. She was starting to feel like herself again.
“My heart is still pounding from that run,” Jamie said.
“Mine too.”
“We’re safe here… Door made of steel. Smell of pizza. All is well.”
Penny smiled. “This is the second time you’ve saved me,” she said. “Are you making a habit of it?”
“I have a cape in the closet. I don’t like to show off.”
Jamie glanced across the pitch black courtyard. She could make out figures on a fire escape across the way.
“Are we okay?” Penny said.
“Course we are.”
“I mean you and me.”
“We’re fine.”
Penny sighed. “Jamie, what I said at Grand Central… I… If I can be honest, meeting you - knowing you… You are the thing that unnerves me. Not anything else.”
“Oh.”
“Yes. So…”
“Okay.”
“So we move on?”
“Absolutely.”
Penny smiled. She tilted the beer to her lips and had a sip. “Good.”
Jamie watched a candle flicker in an open window across the courtyard.
“So,” Jamie said with a smile, “I unnerve you?”
“Is this moving on?” Penny laughed.
“I unnerve you…”
“Ah,” Penny laughed. “Rather pleased with yourself, then?”
“It’s better than thinking you don’t
like me. Or my writing.”
She saw Penny retract her head. She blinked. “Why would you think I don’t like you? Jamie - that’s - ” Penny looked at her. “Not true.”
“You sorta seem like it,” Jamie said. “That’s okay. I don’t need to be everyone’s cup of tea.”
“I’m surprised you would think that.”
Jamie shrugged. She had a swig of her beer, letting the cold bubbles cool her throat on the way down.
“I think you’re wonderful, Jamie,” she said. “Please don’t think otherwise.”
“And my writing,” Jamie said. “Not totally your cup of tea? We might as well be honest. We’re sitting on a fire escape in the middle of a pitch black city. And you’re wearing gym shorts.”
Penny laughed. “Don’t tell the paparazzi,” she said. “And Jamie - I love your writing.”
“But…”
Penny smiled. “Yes. But. I need something more true from you. So let’s leave it there.”
Penny glanced above Jamie’s head towards another fire escape. “There’s someone up there with a sparkler,” she smiled.
“Could be a pyromaniac.”
“Could be.”
“Penny, can I ask you something”
Penny felt a pang of fear shoot through her. Because out here on this fire escape, with nothing but darkness and candlelight between the two of them, and half a beer in her system, she was afraid Jamie Brennan was going to ask if she had feelings for her.
And she was afraid she wouldn’t be able to say no.
“I think you can?”
“Don’t worry. It’s not about unnerving you,” Jamie said. “Although, you know I love that.”
“Mm hmm. So you seem to.”
“What you told me once…”
“What I told you?”
Jamie let her eyes catch Penny’s. They hung there. Suspended for a few seconds.
“About your parents.”
“Ah,” Penny glanced at the cooler. “How much beer is in there? Because it might be needed.”
“Is that what happened? With your parents? Your mother drove herself and your father into oncoming traffic?”
Penny thought for a moment. Her eyes squinted at her bottle of beer.
“Yes,” Penny said. “That’s what happened.”
“Was she…”
“Barking mad?” Penny said. “Perhaps. My mother many times threatened to off herself like that. While I was also in the car.”
“Wow.”
“Yes, well, we all can’t have the life on Leave it to Beaver,” Penny said. “Whatever that is.”
“I guess.”
“Mmm hmm.”
“Sucks.”
“Truly does.”
Jamie looked at Penny Langston. In shorts. With her hair up. Her long legs stretched out.
The real, not for show, Penny Langston was different than the work one. This one was funny and smart and flawed and prickly and real. And not like anyone else she’d ever met. A heroine in a book that Jane Austen didn’t yet write.
“Can I ask you something else?”
Penny gulped a few chugs of beer. She pointed to the bottle.
“Is there more of these?”
Jamie laughed. “Is that a prerequisite?”
“Depends on the question.”
“It’s simple…”
“Shoot.”
“I wrote something,” Jamie said. “Would you read it?”
Penny felt relief wash over her. There was an intimacy that darkness and silence and aloneness allowed that she wasn’t ready for.
“Of course I’ll read it.”
Jamie disappeared through the window into the apartment and climbed back out onto the fire escape a minute later. She handed Penny a folded up piece of paper. And a flashlight.
“It’s not for the book,” Jamie said.
Penny unfolded the page. “An invoice? Are you charging me for this evening?”
Jamie laughed. “No, but that’s a good idea. It’s on the other side.”
Penny flipped it over.
“What is it?”
“You wanted true… “ Jamie said. “It’s something true.”
Penny glanced down, clicked on the flashlight and started reading.
“December 23, 1975.”
“Tell me…”
“Tell you what?” “Anything…”
I laugh. “Anything like what?”
She laughs too. “Anything like anything.”
Jamie watched Penny reading. Wondered where in the story she was…. Meeting at the party. The jean jacket. The Partridge Family album.
Penny flipped to the next page. She looked up.
“Jamie, is this you? This happened to you?”
“Yes.”
Penny glanced back down at the page.
I look at her and see the snow falling on the shoulders of her blue wool coat and in her hair.
Her mouth is beautiful. These lovely lips red from the cold, a sensual mouth, a crooked smile. It’s sweet and sexy at the same time.
That face. What a beautiful face. And she’s looking at me with that kind of look you get a few times in your life. From someone who adores you. It’s amazing.
I want to touch her mouth. So I do. I take my glove off and I run my hand across her cheek. I let my fingertips linger on her chin. I brush my fingertips over her mouth, which is slightly open. She smiles.
I look into her green eyes. They’re like Christmas green.
“Your eyes are the color of Christmas,” I say.
She smiles. “I guess they are.”
And with the snow falling and the streetlamps and this quiet New York street made even quieter by the snowfall, it’s the most romantic feeling and the most romantic random moment I’ve ever had in my life. Like something from a book. Or a movie. But if it was in a movie it was always between a guy and a girl.
It was for me – suddenly the world, the snow, the light, the two days before Christmas feeling. The girl. It wasn’t just for a guy and a girl in a movie. It was for me.
I lean in to kiss her. Our lips meet. Her mouth is warm, it is this warm thing in the cold. Our kiss is tentative at first – no, it is tender. Just tender and sweet. The most romantic kiss I’d ever had. I move closer, put my hand on her waist. Her mouth was so warm and her lips felt so soft and she was such a good kisser.
I pull away slightly, my mouth is still on hers.
“I’m Jamie,” I whisper.
She smiles. “Hi, Jamie.”
She kisses me again. There’s a sound from on the street. Like someone banging into a garbage can. She looks up.
“It’s okay,” I say. “It’s just someone down the street.”
“Maybe we shouldn’t…” she says. “Y’know.. here...”
I run my lips gently along hers. ”It’s okay,” I whisper.
…I said it was okay.
Penny looked up. Her eyes met Jamie’s.
“There’s more, isn’t there…” she whispered.
She clicked the flashlight off.
Jamie nodded. “I couldn’t write the rest.”
She reached into the cooler and lifted an ice cube out into her hand for something to do. But then just opened her hand and let it fall back in.
“So… I heard this music. Like rock or something. And this muscle car pulled up behind us. And everything was so quiet because of the snow, except for the muffler of this car and the sudden influx of guitar rock on their stereo. And these two big guys get out and they had seen us kiss,” she said. “And they were yelling stuff. Fuckin’ dyke or whatever. The car had these New Jersey plates and I think they were looking for gay guys to bash on Christopher Street. But they found us. Merry Christmas.”
Jamie sighed. “Someone yelled ‘Hey faggot’ which was weird cause, you know, we’re girls and they could see that.”
She glanced across the courtyard, a candle flickered out.
“So it’s ‘Hey faggot’ and I turned around
… And I got smashed in the face with a baseball bat.”
“Oh my god.”
“I fell backwards onto the sidewalk in the snow. I was in this blinding pain. And he goes to swing the bat again - I put my hands up over my face and this guy was standing over me, this young guy - like 25 years old - he had on a blue wool hat with some baseball team logo. He swung the bat at me again, in my ribs. He kept slamming my chest and my arm with the baseball bat… He broke my hand and broke my ribs… And I had blood in my eyes cause he smashed my eye socket with the first swing.”
“Jamie… my god.”
“I was lying on the ground and I was screaming, ‘Stop! Stop!’ But I didn’t hear her scream. Or even make a noise. I couldn’t hear her. And that was worse. Then I heard her - it was like a low moan, like a wounded animal. You never fucking know the sounds you can make, but that was one of them and I’ll never forget it,” she said. “I managed to turn my head in the snow on the sidewalk. The guy stopped hitting me and I looked over to where she was. She was lying on the sidewalk a few feet away from me. There was a pool of blood around her head. And suddenly it’s like it was silent again and all I could hear was blood pooling into snow. And I heard one of the guys say, ‘What the fuck did you do?’ to one of the other guys… Then I heard this banging sound, more yelling and these gay boys and these drag queens came running out from The Stonewall. One was dressed like Mrs. Claus. And they charged at the guys with beer bottles. And one had a garbage can lid. The guys took off in their car. Our own Stonewall…”
Jamie took a deep breath. She let it out.
“I couldn’t move. I was just lying there on the sidewalk in the snow. And I heard this lovely man, the sweetest voice, like an angel with a southern accent. And I looked up and Mrs. Claus was there with her hand on me saying, ‘It’s okay, sweetie, you’re gonna be okay…’ But I didn’t care about me. I said, Her… her… But no one would say anything.”
Jamie had a sip of her beer. She closed her eyes and finished the words.
“I had this fractured eye socket, three broken ribs, and a broken hand,” she said. “And she died on the sidewalk that night.”
Jamie finished talking and looked at Penny.
Penny looked back at her. And the expression on her face was almost physical pain. She didn’t say anything for a long time. A word came out of her like an exhale.
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