by Stephan Knox
She felt like heaven underneath him just then— except— inside, he felt like drenn. Nevertheless, he reached down and untied his trousers—
GUILTY INTENTIONS ALONE
Tannin laid wake still. His head rested upon Aari’s hip, his thumb brushing between her wet folds, firing off more aftershocks, one after another, despite her still unconscious condition. He just couldn’t bring himself to stop touching her. He drew out more of the spilled nectar from her earlier release and licked it from his thumb like honey from a comb, only to repeat the process all over again. Her cream smelled delicious, like a succulent dessert, and her over-stimulated labium walls swelled around his fingers, eager for the friction his erection would have brought had he taken her all the way.
Every beast in his body howled and purred for her. His senses kicked into overdrive. Narc’d out on her arousing scent. Even the radiant heat escaping her cooling skin sent shimmering images to his brain. He reveled in every quiver of her body, but that didn’t prevent the heavy guilt he felt just moments ago.
As vital as her gift was to his destiny, he hadn’t gone through with it.
He had intended to— knowing once the union was complete it was permanent. He would have what he needed from her and there would be no way for her to take it back.
But in the end— when it came to that last moment, he couldn’t bring himself to do it. When he offered to tend to the burning need in her, he expected her to do what all women did, beg for more. Aari never did. She allowed and trusted him to give only what he offered. She had let her guard down when he’d had every intention of taking advantage of her. It had been the first time she had held any type of trust. One that he hadn’t even earned.
He kissed the soft skin of her belly. He didn’t deserve her. He traced over the fine wavy white lines that worked away from the epicenter of her sex. They looked like the symbols an artist would use to represent the sun, painted right over the area where most women had hair. The sun rises and sets in this spot. He rolled over her and pressed his lips against her flesh, kissing her rays. He amused his thoughts with them, like her hairlessness, he wondered if all Symbiote females had them, or if it was only because of her unique situation where she had her sym before she had reached puberty. Like he had developed the unusual wavy lines that ran from his groin towards his spine like a predator’s stripes when his own sym had stretched out its own tendrils within his body to prepare for the union. Perhaps they were the markings that proved she truly was a breeder.
Either way, he loved how they decorated her skin, making her the piece of art. Such things his life had no need for, but she was different, he should treasure every moment and experience she had allowed him.
But even the playful fascination with her naked body couldn’t keep him from thoughts that were hitting much harder in his conscious mind—
He was gonna have to let her go.
He’d find another way to fulfill his destiny. He wasn’t worthy of her gifts and he couldn’t risk putting her in danger any longer.
Aari found herself with little time to daydream in bed that morning to recall details of the sensual storm Tannin had thrust her into, when she was awakened by him and rushed out to the bath house in the back of their lodging house. He seemed distant somehow, but she was still walking in her dream of bliss to take any injury from his behavior. She watched with wide eyed wonder as he left her to bathe alone. Soaking in the pool of water warmed by the thermal vents under the ground. The sulfur bubbled at its surface relaxing her further while she used the soapy cream from a dish, on the pool’s edge, to lather up her skin until she was squeaky clean.
A giggle escaped her, seemingly coming from nowhere that erupted her naïve little girl haze. And then all thoughts seemed to come to a screeching halt, and she slipped her fingers down between her legs. Her body flinched involuntarily from the instant touch of her fingertips on the swollen skin of her genitals. Tender, but not sore. Had he taken her she would have been sore, wouldn’t she? Certainly, she would be experiencing some amount of pain. Tannin was no small man by any means and she could not imagine he could take her into union and her not recall it clearly. Even if she had been considerably drunk. But she had to be sure. Their reason for being together was anything but on honest terms.
Her fingers carefully parted the tender flesh and felt along the entrance. A shiver ran through her caused by the lingering sensation of last night. Her eyes darted about a blank viewing screen until the pads of her fingers were able to identify her hymen was still in place. She let out a sigh of relief and then a warmth crept up on her, he had kept his word, giving without taking. He could have easily taken her last night. She was so lost in the torrent of sensation; her refusal would only have been found afterwards in a storm of regret.
Footsteps coming up the path of wet stone stirred her from deep thoughts and she whirled about in the water to greet her warrior, but rather than see the bright blue eyes that had beamed at her last night, his face was obscured with troubled thoughts, and his eyes never looked at her directly.
Tannin entered the bath hall, dropping down on one of the stone benches along the way. He pulled out one of his knives and slid the face of its blade over the whetstone in circular motions. He kept his gaze to himself. He couldn’t bear to look at her. Those eyes filled with innocence and a level of adoration that nearly bordered on worship. She looked at him like he was a hero, a Titan blessed by Destiny. She only knew the euphoria he’d given her, she didn’t know he had every intention of taking advantage of her. She saw him with honor that he had kept his word to not remove her graces. Tannin knew he was none of these. He was a coward. He could see the unwavering trust she felt for him. Knowing he deserved none of it.
He wiped the blade across the sleeve of his shirt and inspected the edge. When it met his satisfaction, or more relevant that if he sharpened it any further, there wouldn’t be much of a blade left to still call it a knife, he dropped it back into its small leather sheath, attached to his belt. “Do you want me to sharpen your little crescent blade while I’m at it?” Tannin asked, still keeping his glances to a minimum.
Aari turned, looking at him; her hand absently went to the small pocket behind her neck where she’d kept the blade. “No. I lost it.”
He nodded, but then stopped and glanced up at her as the answer sank in. “When?”
“Shortly after you gave it back to me. When those guys attacked.”
His face tightened into a stiff scowl, his eyes going back to the whetstone and the blade in hand. “I’ll see if I can find a piece of volcanic glass while we’re here to make you a new one.”
He kept his eyes down and she wondered what he was thinking. Was he thinking about the night before? Wanting more but trying to stick to gathering supplies and tending to his weapons?
She had always wondered what the men thought, having pondered about the ones who came calling on her roommate. Granted most didn’t linger after the tumble of sex, but a few did and she’s secretly watched from under her blanket, curious of this post coitus quietness.
A slight smile crept over her lips. Maybe men felt the same as what she was feeling right now, only they were men and always seemed horribly bad as showing any type of honest affections. So they were always quiet.
She decided she was okay with that. Tannin had, after all, been honorable with her.
“Are you done in there?” the typical impatience of the man she’d come to know was now talking to her.
Again, she felt the slight smile come over her, but kept it under the surface. She had to fight it down or she’d be grinning like some love-sick mad-girl and that would not likely go over well in any situation with him. “Yes,” she managed to whisper, holding back any connotations of the other emotions that were welling up inside her. She was new to this. This wonder of her body. And making her silly in the mind.
“Good. We have a long journey ahead of us.” Tannin’s gruff compulsion cut into her though
ts. “I’d like to be gone from here while it is still early in the day.”
For days they traveled, mostly alone before coming across a caravan of colonists at one point which they tagged along with them for a few days. Both taking advantage to ride in an oxen drawn wagon where also Tannin had the chance to nap out a new blade for Aari from the bit of volcanic glass he’d purchased on their way out of Horozoh.
Three days passed sharing the road with the travelers, but soon enough their travels with the caravan ended, and they ventured off on their own once again.
The days had gotten shorter and it was cold no matter what altitude they were in now. Frigid winds whipped down the mountains into the arid gorge they traveled along. The coat Tannin had bought for her at the last city was so big she had to fold it across her front twice and tie it closed, and the fur lined hood kept falling over her face. Still, she was grateful to have it. Along with the winter mukluks he had found for her. For once, her feet weren’t getting rubbed raw from the tactical boots, now tucked in her pack.
Tannin kept his usual silence with her, except when they slept, he kept her close like a possessive beast who’d claimed its mate, close enough to ensure no one else dared approach her even when there was no one within kilometers of them, but there was also a separation between them. More than just a verbal silence, he didn’t touch her either.
Aari found herself in a repeated turmoil of thoughts each time they stopped for the night. She was glad he didn’t take freedom with her. That was what many of the girls back at base would gripe about. If a woman let a man do her once, he thought he had free access to her from there on out. Taking for granted they could whenever they wanted. But Tannin did not yet at the same time, it bewildered her. If it was rejection, why wouldn’t he not just leave her all together? That seemed unlikely. His motives had been clear from the beginning. So, what was it that kept him distant with her? She never really did get to put much emotion into her pondering, anytime she did he would interrupt her thoughts with some off the wall comment that he was just keeping focused on what needed to be done. It only showed that despite his distance with her, he was very much still in tune with her. His predatory senses mapping out her thoughts by reading her body. That nearly infuriated her. Tannin had this near sixth sense about her, but he kept her shut out from him. She tried a few times to ask but he gave no answer.
And that was how their travels went for another eight days.
“You know, you could just tell me where we’re going. I don’t see the cause for you not to,” Aari gruffed at the large man, cloaked within the large black duster coat that hung close to his feet always marching ahead of her. Even the collar of his coat was turned up, signaling his ability to shut her out. The silence between them was becoming beyond tolerable, even for her, the anti-socialite.
“So where are we going, anyways.” She decided to annoy him with a barrage of questions. “Is it a place so you can force me? Are you taking me to your home or a secret cave. Do you know where there are any temples? Do They talk to you? Are They leading you to take me some place special? When are we going to get there?”
“Why must you keep asking?” Tannin called back, his tone mirrored hers in the equality to have lost his tolerance for her incessant questions, repeated for the sole purpose to bristle him further.
“Because you keep refusing to answer.” She was adamant about adding more fussing from her end, challenging his hold on his surly attitude. The truth was, she was just tired of trekking. They’d done little else since he took her hostage, and without even a sparse offering of conversation to tie her mind up, her thoughts ran deeper than she wanted them to. Their endless travel over rough terrain and meandering amongst abandoned ruins of the old-world was just more visual symbology of her life. Empty— despairing— and endless.
Tannin was intended to change the destiny of the Blood Lords, but he gave nothing for her life. He spared her no loneliness, and though it seemed she was destined to be his union there would be no love or even a fondness provided in the exchange. Her destiny was nothing greater than what her sister had suffered.
The weight of her thoughts made the weight of everything else all the more burdensome and her feet began to ache with the constant pounding of frozen earth and rock under her.
After they had parted from the caravan, Tannin turned their path Nor-east past one of the greater cities that until recently was ruled by one of the Blood Lords, and for reasons he didn’t share with her, but she figured they didn’t need to go into Maegray. Tannin’s deed had already been done there. Maegrethe, the man the city was named after, was dead— by Tannin’s own hands.
They made the way out from a deep gorge, now following along one of the lower ridges of the mountains along an old-world road that made travel easier until it too gave way to wild over growth. Aari was only grateful that it was still flat.
Deciduous trees that had already shed their leaves soon lost their dominance to the more hardy conifers and evergreens in the colder climate. The thick stands of Camphor, Pine, Junipers, and Cedars grew dense as Aari and Tannin continued to travel upward where every branch of its kind threatened to tear her coat from her body with a never-ending onslaught.
Despite the attack on her coat, Aari was rather glad to have a change of scenery from the dry arid land she had spent too many solar cycles living in. She found some refreshment in the bluish greens and grey barks over endless dusty yellows and beige.
Like the greenery from the river, they traveled with trees that reached high over their heads, blotting out the high noon sun, placing their long days of travel in the shade that chilled like the setting sun sometimes did. Though too, the trees also served a positive purpose, breaking the cold, steady northerly winds, and kept it off their faces. The downside was the woods also provided hiding for bandits and thieves. Even the quiet survivors could be a threat if they happened upon them by surprise. Never mind that every once in a while, a tree seemed to whisper to her, reminding her that They could still appear any time.
That’s when a thought occurred to her. They hadn’t. Not since Tannin took her hostage.
Had They abandoned her? She had failed to survive as They wanted and now They had forgotten about her. Turned their back on her destitute existence? The pang of hurt riled deep inside her at the thought and she quickly stamped it out with a thought of anger. They told her to help him, so, it was their fault she was in this mess.
Aari kept her eyes glued to the brush, peering between the trees, looking for the shoulder that stood out broader than the tree itself. Her watch switching from left to right regularly, but it’d been several hours since their last rest and she was starting to get a headache from the constant shift in her depth perception.
“I told you not to tense up so much. You’re going to give yourself a headache from it.”
Too late, she thought.
“If we happen upon anyone, I will smell them long before they find us.”
Of course.
Just as he had grown to ignore him, decidedly, Aari wasn’t paying any bit of attention to him. Are you out there somewhere still? She returned to her search for Them— and slammed right into Tannin when he came to an abrupt stop.
The grumbling huff he expressed over her head said it all. Her presence around him, her scent, even her sym was becoming more and more an irritant than anything else. But what the hell was he supposed to expect? He abducted her— took her away from the only place she knew with intentions of forcing her to be his union for no other reason than for him to share in her sym’s healing ability. Had it not been for the truth about syms and how they mate, he’d have likely intended to dump her instantly after he got what he’d come for. Yet because of it, he would be forced to keep her with him. Syms mated for life, even if the human host did not. Unlike Maegrethe who had no Symbiotai inside him, he only had to keep his mate alive. Not happy. Tannin was a Symbiote as well, and his sym would share in the union and they didn’t tak
e to separation like humans did.
Tannin squatted down, his hand reaching out, and sifting passed the thick ground cover of grass and scruff.
Aari was instantly shifting her feet feeling around as well, wondering what he was looking for. The ground felt more— solid— recognition or perhaps just hope; she too dropped to her knees and tore at the weeds. She sucked in a deep breath and nodded agreeably. Pavement. Only, the space between the trees was too narrow for a road it seemed, but there was no doubting it was old-world black-paved ground.
Excitedly, she began crawling around on all fours, digging and feeling out the road until she found the edge. Her fingers mapped out the direction and she glanced over her shoulder to Tannin with a half-smile, “It runs this way.”
Tannin threw his nose up in the air, drawing in every flavor on the breeze that rustled through the trees. She found herself almost mimicking him. She couldn’t pick up all the things he could, but then she was learning that she really liked the smell of green every time she at least tried.
He nodded to her the way was clear, then slung the gear packs back over his shoulder to start up the endless trekking.
Aari jumped to her feet to follow when her foot caught on something, sending her right back down, crashing face first into the road.
“Ow,” she hissed pushing up to peel her face from the tangle of vines.
“Must you always be so clumsy?” Tannin growled, returning to his usual grumpy self.
But the bulking item pressing under Aari’s shins had her ignoring him, flipping around to investigate.
“Must you always ignore me as well?” he called to her as he was apparently reluctant to stop and wait on her.
Aari tore at the tangle of creeper plants and roots, finding a long bulking item of metal engulfed in a nest of white stringy roots and—