by LeAnn Ashers
Pain and gut-wrenching fear.
That’s all I feel as I watch them roll her away from me and down the hallway, through some double doors.
“You can go in with her. Go change into this.” A nurse hands me some clothes.
I rush into the bathroom. I need to be with her. I need her to be okay, and I need our babies to be okay.
I just need her to be okay.
I walk to the nurse, who is waiting on me. She leads me down the hallway toward Alisha. We walk through a set of double doors and into another room.
There she is. The bottom half of her is hidden from view, and a chair is beside her head. After walking over to her, I sit down. After scooting forward, I press a kiss to her cheek, letting it linger. Her head moves over, and I pull back. Her eyes are filled with fear. That kills me on the inside more than anything. I grab her hand and press her open hand on my jaw.
“Everything is going to be okay,” I reassure her.
She nods, a tear falling. I notice movement and see the doctor moving behind the screen.
“So, Momma, we never decided on a name for a baby girl and a baby boy.”
Her expression lightens, and she looks less afraid. “I really like Vanessa,” she whispers.
“I like Riley. What about our son?” I stroke her face.
She closes her eyes. She opens her eyes and smiles at me. “We should totally name them Harley and Ryder.”
I laugh because it’s fitting. “I’m not sure they would be amused later on in life.”
She nods in agreement. “What about Noah?”
“I like that one, Angel.”
“We have a boy!” a man yells.
I look over and see him holding my son. He isn’t crying. Panic sets in, and the nurse suctions his nose out. The doctor pats him on the bottom, and he cries. I almost fall out of my seat in relief. Everything is going to be okay. My son is the one who had the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck. They take him across the room.
A minute or so later, I hear another piercing scream. My baby girl. I look up and see him pass her off to the nurse.
“She wants to breastfeed,” I tell the nurse closest to me.
She nods and walks across the room to where my babies are.
Alisha is grinning from ear to ear, and I grin along with her. Everything is going to be okay. No more kids though. I will not go through something like this again. Never again.
Pressing my forehead against hers, I whisper, “The start of all of ours forever.”
She nods. This is the start of our kids’ lives and another chapter in ours.
When I wake up, Jordan is shirtless, leaning back in a reclined chair, holding Noah and Vanessa to his bare chest. They are in only their diapers, and a blanket is covering their backs to make sure they don’t freeze.
“They are beautiful,” I whisper as I see their little features. I haven’t had a chance to hold them yet. I was in a lot of pain because of the C-section, so once they gave me another dose of pain meds, I conked out.
“You’re awake.”
I lift my gaze from my babies to Jordan. I smile at him.
He smiles back. “Want to hold them?”
I nod rapidly. I slowly scoot up in bed and press the button to raise me up halfway. “Do they know I want to breastfeed?”
“I told them, angel. I had those bottles you pumped.”
My milk came in a couple of days ago, and I froze the milk because I figured why not start saving what I can now. Right now, I am beyond grateful.
Jordan holds both of the babies with one hand, his palm on their heads. He pulls a wooden table that holds a small baby bed over. He stands up and sets one of the babies inside then walks over to another and sets the baby inside.
“I am going to wrap them for you.”
I am freezing. I don’t know why hospitals are so cold. “Jordan, we have some thicker blankets in the diaper bag.”
“Forgot about that.” He walks over to the shelf below a window. He opens the diaper bag and takes out a blue blanket and a pink blanket.
I watch as he picks up Vanessa, who is in a pink onesie, and lays the blanket down in the bed. He lays her back down, pulls the bottom part over her bottom half, and then pulls the sides of it over her loosely. She starts crying little pitiful whines, and Jordan’s face contorts. He picks her up and walks her over to me.
“She’s hungry, momma.”
He bends down, and I take the baby from him.
My world changes the moment my baby is in my arms for the first time. This is what love at first sight is. This is everything. Pulling my gown down, I free my breast. Then I raise my baby up to my nipple, and she latches on instantly. The feeling is unreal. I’m providing for my baby in the most needed and vital way.
“There aren’t words for how much I love them,” I whisper, studying her itty-bitty features and her fingers.
“I know, angel. We did good. I have that super sperm and shit.”
Closing my eyes, I laugh and immediately wince. “Don’t make me laugh,” I groan.
Jordan laughs and walks over to our son. He wraps him up the same way he did Vanessa. He picks him up and walks with him. Then he stops to rock side to side. He just stares at Noah; he’s in complete awe of him.
Watching him with Vanessa and Noah, I fall in love with him again. He is only this gentle and caring with me. Our kids will see that side of him too.
Vanessa has stopped drinking. I lift her and kiss her small head, breathing in her baby scent. “Jordan, can I hold Noah?”
He hands him to me and takes Vanessa. I lift Noah and look at his face. He is the handsomest baby I have ever seen. I may be biased, but it’s true. His little bottom lip puckers, and my heart melts.
I lay him on my chest and hold him close. There is no better feeling. “I love you, Jordan. Thank you for giving me this amazing life.” Tears well up in my eyes.
His face softens, and he smiles at me. He looks at me and then to our kids. “Our life wouldn’t be this without you, angel. You are my life along with Noah and Vanessa.”
My life started out rough. My old life seems like a dream now. It’s fading every single day, and it truly feels like it’s my past. I am living in the now. Jordan saved me and became everything to me.
He became my protector.
My husband.
The father of my kids.
My lover.
My shoulder to cry on.
My best friend.
Most of all, he is my heart, my soul. He owns every single part of me, as I do him.
This is my life. It’s not a conventional or a normal one, but it’s mine.
Thirteen Years Later
I am currently banging my head against the countertop, trying my best not to laugh. Since Vanessa and Noah hit thirteen, Jordan has become the papa bear. He has become so protective over Vanessa, and it’s rubbed off on Noah.
Noah? He’s a mini Jordan but worse, if that’s even possible. Noah came home yesterday saying that these two older boys like Vanessa and have been staring at her ass.
Vanessa isn’t interested in boys at all. She’s busy with her cheerleading and volleyball. Noah is in fighting classes, and he is preparing himself for the MC life. He’s set on being a member of the MC. Jordan is down for that.
Through the years, Jordan has become more alpha. Every single day, I feel like stabbing him with my dinner fork. A guy checks out my ass? He goes all Hulk and is ready to knock them out. Luckily, I have found a way to lure him away. That way is the promise of sex.
Jordan heard about the boys liking Vanessa, and he just came home with a T-shirt with a picture of him on it. In the photo, he’s shirtless and looking pissed off, which means he’s scary as hell to everyone who doesn’t know him. The shirt says Boys, stay away. This is my dad. He will kick your ass.
Then, on the back, it has all of the MC brothers, and under, it says So will my uncles.
Yeah, my daughter isn’t impressed, but Jordan is dead
set on her wearing it to school.
“Dad, I won’t wear it. I don’t even know who Noah is talking about.” She sighs and props her head on the edge of the counter with her elbow. She looks at me for moral support, but I sigh along with her.
Jordan is standing in front her, his arms across his chest. Noah is beside him, matching his stature. He is so stinking cute though.
“Dad, if they talk to me, I will kick their butts and sic Noah on them. Deal?” she negotiates.
Jordan relaxes and smiles at her. “Deal, baby girl.” He walks over to her and pulls her into a bear hug. “I don’t want my baby girl to grow up, but you can live here with me forever. You don’t need a man.”
Vanessa peeks at me and rolls her eyes.
I dread the day when she actually finds herself a man. I may go on vacation and hide from Jordan.
Noah is smiling at his dad and his sister. After sliding from my stool, I sneak over to him. I grab him into a bear hug and pepper his face with kisses. He squirms, trying to get away, but I hold on tight. He will never get too old for me to love on him.
After I let him go, he jumps away. Jordan is staring at both of us with a happy expression on his face.
I walk over into his arms. Raising my head back, I mutter, “I love you.”
“Love you too, angel.” He kisses my forehead.
I lay my head on his chest. I look at Vanessa and Noah. They’re watching us. I want them to find what we have.
I know they will. I will raise them to never settle for anything less than the best for them, whatever that may be.
The end
The kids will be getting their own books, so don’t worry!
Noah will join the MC.
Vanessa… She ends up with someone who surprises everyone. Who said following the rules is fun?
Butcher is next!! Expect him early JULY!
Other Books
Forever Series
Protecting His Forever
Loving His Forever
The Devils Souls MC
Torch
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