“You know neither of those things is true,” Michael said. He shifted his body to face her and placed a hand on her lap, but she drew hers away. Tears started welling in her eyes and she turned towards the window.
“If you promise me that you’re going to give this a go then we can go on this trip and see how things stand by the end of it but I can’t continue going on like this Michael, I just can’t. It’s not want I want from a marriage and it’s not what I want from love.”
The taxi rolled on towards the docks as the married couple continued to sit in silence. The driver put on the radio and music filled the cab, but Cindy and Michael were consumed with their own doubts. Both of them wanted to speak but they were afraid of saying the wrong thing and causing further damage to their relationship, but for Cindy it was all too much and she couldn’t stand any more posturing and denials. She was going to go on this trip one way or the other, even if it meant that it would be the last trip she and Michael took as a couple.
The tension was rife between them as they got out of the cab and started to unload their bags. The driver tipped his hat to them and drove off, leaving them at the docks. Cindy couldn’t help but marvel at the sight before her eyes even though she felt like she was dying inside. The harbor was bustling with people. Everywhere she looked there was something else wearing an excited look on their face. People ran along the paths, searching for the right entrance. Porters pushed huge wagons filled with luggage near to the boats, and then these were hauled up by a giant claw. Cindy’s eyes followed this claw up, higher and higher, until her head tilted back and her mouth dropped open in awe.
There were a number of ships docked at the harbor so they had to find their one, and it was fairly tricky because their ship was unlike the others. The other ships were hulking masses of metal that were testaments to the ingenuity and imagination of mankind. The titanic vessels could hold thousands of people and were able to traverse great distances. They had on them all manner of luxurious things, like swimming pools, shopping malls, and top quality entertainment. When Cindy looked at these ships she found herself tilting her head back until her jaw dropped open in awe, and perhaps one day she would enjoy the pleasures of this type of cruise, but it was not the one she booked.
They made their way through the crowd, dragging their bags behind them. Michael languidly walked behind her, while she stormed forward. He always took his time when walking, despite his earlier insistence that they were going to be late. It was always the same, and she was tired of constantly looking over her shoulder to make sure that he was keeping up with her. The dock smelled of the salty sea, but there were industrial smells too. The muggy scents of grease and oil reached their mouths and made them gag, but the sounds of the water rippling against the docks was calming. The sun blazed down brightly above their heads but due to the size of the ships they were cast in cold shadow, and Cindy found herself shivering.
She increased her pace, and although she didn’t want to have to say it, she ended up turning around and commanding Michael to quicken his pace. He scowled and muttered something that was lost amongst the cacophony of noise at the docks, but she was aware of the general tone.
The wind caught around the ships and blew Cindy’s hair around her face. It whipped around and she had to spit out her hair, which only served to enrage her more. She sighed heavily and was glad when she rounded a corner and saw their boat peek out from its hiding place. It was sitting in between two of the larger boats, and although ordinarily this ship would have been impressive, it looked diminutive in stature compared to the more modern ocean liners. The cruise they had booked was a ‘blast from the past,’ where they were going to be taken on an old trading vessel. It was an old wooden ship, restored to be suitable for modern guests, and was said to offer a unique experience. Michael grumbled when he saw it.
“Why couldn’t we have gone on one of those?”
“Because everyone goes on those. This is going to be different and special. It’s going to be something that we’ll remember forever,” she said, and walked forward to the porter who awaited them on the gangplank. There were no cranes to lift luggage here, and the crowds were much sparser. Cindy showed the porter their tickets and they were shown onto the boat. The wheels on their cases rumbled along the gangplank and the wooded creaked under their weight. The ship sighed as it swayed on the calm water, and Cindy breathed in the smells of the old maritime air.
Chapter Two
“This is not what I expected,” Michael said as they reached their cabin. They had gone straight from the deck to the cabin without much time for sightseeing, but they had noticed that the deck was fully equipped with everything that one would expect from an authentic trading ship. A few members of the crew were available to help them, but the ship was easy to navigate because there were only a couple of routes to take. The corridors were narrow and the ceilings were low, and for once Cindy was grateful for her short stature, although Michael, who had long legs, was constantly moaning as he hit his head on the low ceilings. The ship was alive with various smells, most of which were bitter, and it genuinely felt as though they had stepped through a portal and entered another time period.
Along the way to their cabin they heard various noises, mostly shouting and the clanging of metal as the crew got ready for launch. When they reached the cabin areas they saw a number of their fellow guests as well, and Cindy snickered to herself as she saw that a lot of them were lamenting the size of their cabins, just as Michael did when they eventually reached their accommodation. The small room was cramped and it was clear from the size of the bed that Michael would have to curl his legs up in order to fit on it, but Cindy quite liked it. It felt quaint, and she certainly felt like she was on a sailor embarking on a voyage, although she did instantly regret her decision to take so many clothes because the suitcases were taking up most of the room. In the room there was a small toilet and shower, a bed, and a fold out desk that could double as a table. A few shelves were located near the top of the ceiling, and they also had a porthole. However, for the moment they could only see out to the next ship. There was also a brochure which informed them about the ship. It was called the Daedalus and used to sail between America and South America, trading spices and other commodities.
The ship had an illustrious history up until it was retired from service. Since then it had sat in a museum until this tourism company bought it and restored it so that it was seaworthy. Its mission statement was to give people a sense of what it was truly like to sail the seven seas that allowed them to feel the boat sway under their feet and took them right into the experience, rather than the other modern cruise liners that sought to basically be hotels on the sea, and were so big that it was possible to ignore the fact that you were at sea.
There was a short blurb about the history of the ship, but there were some rules as well, and the company made an apology to the fact that the cabins were so small, but it couldn’t be helped. The main areas were large however, and everyone was invited to a banquet in the main hall as the ship set sail. Michael and Cindy unpacked and made their way to the main hall so that they were ready when the ship moved away.
They took their seats and a glass of complimentary wine as the other passengers took their seats. Cindy looked at all of them for she was always interested in people, whereas Michael muttered to himself and complained that they were taking far too long to get things started.
“Remember, no complaining, we’re here to have fun,” Cindy reminded him, and tried not to be too upset by his constant protestations. Eventually the hall filled up. Some people were more dressed up than others, and Cindy was content with the effort that she had made, and then the crew took their positions at the front of the room. One woman, who wore her blonde hair in a long ponytail and looked to be of Scandinavian descent, stepped forward. She wore a sailor’s outfit, which consisted of dark blue trousers and a blazer, but it hugged her hourglass figure, and her radiant beauty was evident even from Cindy’s vant
age point.
“Welcome to the Daedalus,” she began, and indeed her voice had a thick accent that gave her an exotic allure. “We’d like to thank you for coming here and sharing this unique experience with us. I’m sure you’ve all seen your cabins now, and are probably wondering what you’ve gotten yourself in for, but don’t worry because we hope that you’ll be spending most of the voyage away from your cabins. There are many events planned and there will be an itinerary at breakfast every day. There are also other activities going on around the ship. When we dock you will have a few hours to go and visit, so don’t go too far because if you’re not back by the departure time then you’ll have to find your own way home, and that could be expensive,” she said this with a wry smile, although Cindy noticed a number of people around her were mumbling nervously at the thought of being left behind. “But, even if you do not want to do that the deck is always open for you to watch us sail over the sea. My name is Ana and I hope that you will come to me if you have any issues. Unfortunately the captain was unable to attend this because he’s busy making the preparations for launch, but I’m sure that at some point over the course of this voyage you will meet him too. Launch is scheduled within the next half hour so please make your way to the deck for the best view of the open sea.”
She nodded to the crowd and then disappeared along with the other crew, leaving the guests to make their own way to the deck. They filtered out en masse to the deck, and were filled with the fresh sea air.
“I wish I had brought a cardigan,” Cindy remarked as she pulled her clothes tightly around her, for the air was chilly.
“It’ll only get worse when we get out on the open sea. But it’s all rather bracing, isn’t it?” Michael said, and for the first time he actually seemed to be enjoying himself. Perhaps there was hope for him after all, Cindy thought. They stood on the edge of the deck as the crew took their positions, and waited for the ship to launch. While they waited, Cindy overheard a few people talk about how the ship had installed a modern engine where in the bowels of the ship, whereas when the ship had originally sailed it was done so under the strength of manpower.
“Do you think you would have liked this, if you had been alive in this era?” she asked. Michael inhaled deeply and looked around at the two ships standing either side of the Daedalus.
“I think I like the romantic version of it. I’m not sure how well I’d do with the reality, especially not if I was cooped up in one of those cabins. I can’t imagine the hygiene was anything to write home about either.”
“But it’s not like you would have known any different, that stuff would have just been normal for you. I think I’d have loved it. Just to go away on a ship and sail the open seas, never knowing where life was going to take you. There’s something to be said for that, you know, I think now we know too much. I mean, there’s nowhere left to explore. We know what’s waiting for us in most places, and there’s always ways we can get in touch with home, but back then you could go away and reinvent yourself.”
“Is that what you want, to run away?” he asked, and his words had a dark undertone. Cindy glanced at him and then looked back out to the horizon.
“I don’t know, maybe. The idea is nice, to just be able to become someone else,” she said, and a quiet tension overcame them both. They stood in silence for a little while until a sonorous bell rang out signaling the launch. The sound of an engine rumbled far below deck, and the wooden beams of the ship sang out and creaked, like the old sinewy muscles of a soldier called back into battle long after his body should have been relaxing. Slowly but surely the boat pulled away and swam through the water, getting closer and closer to the horizon. The narrow path between the two ocean liners grew wider, and gradually the ship escaped the shadow caused by the two behemoths, and the passengers blinked as the golden sun bathed them. The horizon was open and landless, an endless ocean of possibilities. The deep blue of the sea shimmered, and it looked calm and constant. The cloudless sky was blank aside from a few gulls that glided above, and the whole thing had a tranquil feeling.
As the boat slipped through the waves triumphantly and majestically Cindy was filled with a sense of wonder, and as they left land behind and ventured out into the open sea she became overwhelmed with that same spirit of adventure that had caused so many people to pour into the ships in years gone by. She thought about how they must have felt at embarking on a new adventure, and she wished that she could leave her old life behind. She cast her eyes to the side and looked at Michael, who seemed out of place on the ship, and she wondered whether, if she had the opportunity, that she would outright leave him and start a new life. She was still young and she still had time to find what she was looking for, but in truth she wasn’t wholly sure what that was.
For a long time Michael seemed to have been everything that she wanted. He was so different from the other guys she’d been with that the change was refreshing, but it seemed as though that wasn’t enough. Instead, she was left feeling like she had once again made a misjudgment. She knew she wanted to feel excited about being with someone, and Michael just didn’t inspire that kind of feeling inside her.
She took these troubles with her on the voyage, and hoped that the sea could calm her worried soul for she needed answers soon and she needed to work out what she was going to do with her life, because time was always ticking by, and if Michael wasn’t the man for her then she would need to take the necessary steps to deal with that.
Chapter Three
The first couple of days of the cruise were fun. The meals were always a good platter, and the company that hosted the cruise tried to offer some authentic meals as well as modern food, and Cindy enjoyed sampling some of the dishes that actual sailors would have eaten. They still hadn’t met the captain, but Ana was a constant presence and Cindy exchanged more than a few words with here. Up close Ana was even more beautiful than Cindy had initially realized. She had soft, full lips and wide blue eyes that seemed to be as deep as the sea upon which they were sailing. Her hair was as golden as the sun, and it was odd for Cindy to be in her presence because ordinarily Cindy was the most beautiful woman in the room, however, the stress she was under caused her to lose some of her luster, and her bright flame had dimmed somewhat.
Even though Michael had made an effort he clearly wasn’t enjoying the cruise in the same way that Cindy was, and although she appreciated his effort it just wasn’t working, and whenever he moaned it brought her mood down and caused her enjoyment to diminish. Being alone together for all that time didn’t have the intended affect either; it merely meant that they were getting on each other’s nerves rather than connecting on a deeper level. Even when she showed him some slinky lingerie that she’d bought specially for the trip she was met with nothing. It used to drive him crazy, and when they’d first met he’d gotten as hard as a flagpole with just the slightest caress of her fingers, but now she was half-naked and sitting on his lap and she was getting nothing.
“Is it me? Are you bored of me?” she asked.
“No, I’m just old,” he said, standing up and flinging her off him. She landed with a thud on the bed and her head clattered into the wall. Michael stood up and batted his hands in frustration at the small quarters. “I’m old and worn out. I’m tired all the time. I’m not meant for this life anymore Cindy. I’m just an old man and you deserve better.” And when she looked at him he did look older than ever. His shoulders were hunched where once they stood tall and proud. His eyes were cloudy and swam with liquid, and his flesh was soft and wrinkled. He looked defeated, as though he had surrendered to the war against time. But Cindy hadn’t, not yet, for her spirit was fierce and she wanted to battle on.
“No, I don’t accept that,” she said, standing up and poking a sharp finger into his chest. He looked away from her in shame. “You might think you’re old but you know that’s never been an issue for us. We both said when we first got together that our age difference didn’t mean a thing and that it was about who we were
on the inside. But the problem is you’ve changed. I don’t care that your body is getting older. I care that you seem to have given up on being yourself. It’s like you want to stop being the man I fell in love with and I don’t know why. Am I not worth the effort anymore?”
“Of course you are. These things just happen. You get to a certain age and things change. I don’t know what you want me to say. This is me now, this is who I am.”
“If that’s the case then I don’t think there’s any hope for us. You’re not the man I married anymore,” she said, trying her hardest to keep her voice from wavering, but she failed for she was overwhelmed with emotion.
“I’ve tried Cindy, I really have, but somewhere along the way things changed inside me and I can’t change them back. I want different things from life now. I’m old, I’m an old man. That’s all there is to it,” he said. Cindy stared at him. She was filled with a mixture of emotions and trembled on the spot. There were so many things she wanted to do but she was filled with an impotent anger, and instead of continuing the argument she wrapped a robe around herself and ran out of the room to the deck.
There, she wiped away the tears that were silently rolling down her cheek and she looked up at the stars. She was surprised that no-one else was on the deck because it was perfectly peaceful, and the stars were far brighter there than they were in the city. The clear, cool air enveloped her and caused her teeth to chatter. The chill seeped down into her bones but it was reassuring in a way for it meant that she felt something other than the dull, throbbing pain of romantic anguish.
Her introspection was disrupted by soft footsteps. She turned to see Ana walking up the deck and joining her. The Scandinavian beauty held her hands behind her back, and her ponytail was draped over her chest.
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