“I think I can…maybe… maybe I already do. I know I feel something for you.” She sighed as she fixed her eyes on his. “When we kiss, I become so weak that my logical mind shuts down. I don’t think at that point. I only feel. That’s what worries me, Fitzwilliam.” Her eyes were intense, almost worried. “In a moment of weakness I could slip, and then I would have a lifetime of regret if this isn’t real. It’s a razor’s edge, and I’m just not sure.”
“Elizabeth, you can trust me. I don’t say things that I don’t mean. If I’m anything at all, I’m a man of my word. And I want the very things out of life that you do. I want a marriage where there is mutual respect, love, and trust. I want to have children. And most of all, I want to be part of their lives from birth through adulthood. I want my children to experience what I never had—a home where their parents are united in one accord, creating an environment of love, security, and comfort for them to grow and develop in. I want to be there for everything that involves my family, but most of all, I want my wife to always have first place in my heart. Elizabeth, I will cherish you always.”
She looked at him tenderly, tilting her head slightly, but before she could answer, he continued.
“I didn’t come to the Cumberland Plateau looking for a wife. It was the last thing on my mind last July. You have to believe me when I tell you I had no intention for our love affair to catch fire as it has. I wanted to take things slowly. I’ve been burnt before, but I’ve also been alone for a very long time,” he said as he looked off into the distance. “You took me by surprise. I wasn’t expecting you to be a virgin. I was expecting, well, what couples normally do, but when I discovered that you were untouched, that changed everything. Elizabeth, I’m thirty-two years old. I’m not a foolhardy adolescent. I’m a man, and I know what I’m about. How old are you—twenty-six—twenty-seven? I believe you’re old enough, too.”
“I’m twenty-five, and I am old enough to know what I want. I just want to make sure it’s right.”
“Elizabeth, this is right,” he pleaded. “When the fires burn down, we’ll have a love that is rooted in mutual trust and respect. We will be forever,” he softly said, once again taking her hand in his.
“Well, you certainly have self-confidence and go after what you want. I suppose you’re used to getting it, too,” she said with a teasing smile.
“Yes, I do believe in pursuing what I want.” He paused for a second, contemplating his thoughts. The momentum was set. It wouldn’t do to hesitate. He had to ask. “Elizabeth, is it too soon? I’m not asking you to live with me or to have a casual affair. I want something more. Elizabeth, will you marry me?”
Elizabeth sighed. “Fitzwilliam, I was trained to think in terms of logic, and my rational mind tells me that I don’t know you well enough to be thinking in terms of marriage.”
He could tell by the look in her eyes that she was deeply involved in an internal struggle, therefore, he challenged her. “And what of your heart? What is your heart telling you, Liz?”
“My hearts tells me that I want you. I don’t know if it’s love I feel, but I do know it’s desire.”
He shook his head and released an exasperated sigh. “The problem with mathematicians is that they think too much. Feel, Elizabeth, feel! Trust your instincts. I know what you’re feeling. I feel it, too. Elizabeth, I’m promising you my love. I don’t have to think about it. I know it!” Fitzwilliam swallowed hard as he waited for her response.
She paused, gazing at him quizzically, and then looked away. Finally, as if coming out of deep thought, she answered.
“I do trust you, and I believe you’re an honorable man.” She paused briefly. “If you truly mean everything you say, then yes, I will. I will marry you, Fitzwilliam.”
Overjoyed, he pulled her into his lap and cradled her tightly against his chest. “Elizabeth Bennett, I love you.”
He bent down and kissed her with a heartfelt exhilaration. She was vibrant and alive, and she made him feel just as alive. He felt her surrender to his will as she curled her arms around his neck and slipped her fingers into his thick curls.
“I didn’t know there could be this much pleasure in a kiss,” she whispered against his lips.
“Do you enjoy it, Elizabeth?” he asked in between kisses.
“Yes…very much.”
Pleased, he murmured, “Good! I want you to enjoy it. There’s so much more to be had than a kiss, and in time, you will know that pleasure, too. You were meant to be mine, and I was meant to be yours. We were meant for this,” he whispered as he pulled her close to his body, kissing her again and again, delving deeper and deeper while his hand lightly brushed the side of her breast.
She thought she would die. His mouth was warm and sensual and his kiss left her weak and breathless. Her toes curled and her body went limp. She was no longer thinking, but only feeling—feeling the pleasure he gave with a simple kiss.
When he finally broke the kiss, they sat there on the swing, gently swaying back and forth, caught up in the moment. As Elizabeth lay there in his arms with her head resting upon his shoulder, she realized that for the first time in her life, she wanted to give herself to a man—to the man that now held her close.
Suspending the comfortable silence, Fitzwilliam reassured her. “I love you, Liz. I am a man of convictions if I’m anything. I’ll never hurt you. You’ll have no cause to repine. There’s no need to worry. I have to go to England after the semester ends, so tomorrow we’ll talk. I have much to tell you.”
Chapter Eight
…the winds of troubles brew…
The next morning Fitzwilliam couldn’t have been in a better mood as he sat down to eat with Elizabeth’s family. Surveying the table, a pleasant smile curved his lips. Grace and Aunt Lori had made a big breakfast, and conversation around the table was lively.
“Lori, pass the gravy and eggs to Charles.” Henry turned to Fitzwilliam. “William, is it William or Fitzwilliam? Lizzy’s been calling you Fitzwilliam, so which is it?” Henry asked.
Fitzwilliam laughed. “Either, actually. My full name is Fitzwilliam Darcy, but you may call me whatever you wish.”
“Well, in that case, I’ll call you by your given name. Here,” Uncle Henry smiled, “have some grits,” he said as he passed the bowl down Darcy’s way.
“You know,” Uncle Henry continued, “after puttin’ those mules and burros out amongst the cattle, we haven’t had a single coyote come back after that first week when I found three dead. Why, we ain’t seen none in a week of Sundays, have we, Lori?”
“No, I don’t reckon we have. Here, Jane, pass the gravy down,” Lori said, sending the bowl around.
“Pass the bacon this way, Fitzwilliam. Won’t you have some more biscuits and gravy, Lizzy?” Uncle Henry inquired, not missing a beat.
“Oh, by the way,” Henry said as he passed the sorghum. “I near clean forgot. You haven’t heard the family news yet, so let me fill you in. I’m sure you’ve heard the local news, but just in case, I’ll start with that. Jackie Lee Nunley’s been busted for growin’ marijuana down in Owl Holler. You know where it is—over yonder down around Coldwater Creek.” He paused long enough to stab a piece of ham as it came around. “It seems the DEA’s been watchin’ him for some time now, and the day before yesterday they descended on a well-hidden cove where he was growin’ it. They say it’s the biggest drug bust in the State of Tennessee’s history.”
“Yes, Uncle, we heard about it, but what does it have to do with any of us? We’re not involved, are we?”
“Well now Lizzy, let me tell it. I’m fixin’ to get to it,” Henry said. “You see, it’s your cousin, Liddy. She’s been seein’ Jackie Lee for some time now.”
Jane and Elizabeth both put down their knives and forks and looked up, giving their uncle their full attention. Fitzwilliam looked up, too, mildly curious at this bit of news, wondering what ties it had to the Bennett family.
“Liddy Fanning ain’t been nothin' but trouble since she was kn
ee high to a grasshopper. Daniel, won’t you pass the biscuits please,” he said, snatching one from the plate as it came around. “Well, as it turns out, she’s three months pregnant, and Lydia and Randy are beside themselves ‘cause there ain’t no coverin’ this up. This is the first big scandal to hit this family in pert near two hundred years.” He paused for a moment. “Well, if you don’t count the moonshinin’, that is. But it’s not so bad that she’s pregnant as it is to who the father is.”
Jane gasped. “Uncle, you’re telling us that Liddy is pregnant with Jackie Lee Nunley’s baby, aren’t you?”
“That’s exactly what I’m sayin’, Jane, but the worst part of this sorry mess is that Jackie Lee is denying he’s the father. Can you believe that? They’ve been datin’ since summer and now he’s saying Liddy’s as loose as a spring goose and that anyone could be the father. He even roughed her up when she told him about her condition. He ordered her to have an abortion, or he’d beat the hell out of her. That should’ve been a real eye opener, but one has to wonder where Liddy’s concerned,” he said as he paused for a sip of coffee. “Why, she’s still fully expectin’ to marry him, of all things!” Henry set his cup down and picked up a forkful of eggs.
Elizabeth visibly stiffened as she shoved her plate aside. Glancing over at Darcy, she quickly averted her eyes.
Sensing her concern, he gently caressed her knee, attempting to reassure her.
“Well, it’s not wholly unexpected,” Kat said. “I told her that Jackie Lee was meaner than a snake, and that she was gonna get bit if she kept hanging around him. So, it’s no surprise that he would threaten her or slander her name. The chickens have come home to roost. I told her as much back two months ago. If she’s too stupid to see it, then she deserves exactly what she gets,” Kat stated matter-of-factly as she buttered her biscuit.
“You’ve hit the nail on the head, Kat, but, of course, none of that matters anyhow, ‘cause he’s on his way up the river to the big house, followin’ in the family tradition, just like his granddaddy did for bootleggin’ back in the 50s.” Henry paused for another bite of eggs. “But Randy and Lydia? Well, now they’re another kettle of fish altogether. They ain’t been doing nothin’ but fightin’ and arguin’ ever since all of this has come to light. Each blaming the other for Liddy’s wild behavior,” Uncle Henry said.
“They will have to deal with it, but we’ll all help as much as we can,” Aunt Lori said. “Liddy will have the baby, and we’ll all accept it. The child’s innocent of its parents’ sins.” Lori turned to Elizabeth. “Here, Lizzy, have another cup of coffee.”
Elizabeth whispered her thanks while she poured herself another cup. Looking up, she said, “Yes, Aunt, I understand what you are saying, but people will whisper and stare. I know they will not overtly be unkind, but they will think less of us just the same. I know how people are in this Sunday-go-to-meetin’ farming community. I feel awful for poor Isabelle Haskell. I’ve seen the pitying stares and heard the quiet whispers that she has to endure—and through no fault of her own, I might add. I personally could not stand to be the object of their well-meaning pity. Isabelle would have been better off if she had simply left the community to stay with her older sister. At least Knoxville is big enough that people won’t care about her circumstances.
“But now Liddy is a different matter altogether. She’s either too stupid or too indifferent to care about what people think. ” Lizzy paused for a sip of coffee. “I don’t know which it is, but the damage is done just the same. She’s put fodder into the mouths of fools to spread gossip. Why does she always pick the lowest common denominator ealer, either. When Bette and Florence told me she was seeing him, I dismissed it as a passing dalliance. I shouldn’t have.”
“Well, Lizzy, let’s not speak of this anymore. It won’t help solve things. Everybody knows Liddy Fanning is as wild as a March hare, so I’m sure you’re wrong. What Liddy has done will not affect this family as you might think. Let’s hush this talk,” Aunt Lori declared, her word stated as final, giving Henry a sharp look.
As if taking her cue, Uncle Henry moved on. “That reminds me.” He snapped his fingers. “I’ve got to have me two more hounds. I’ll have to go to Dog Days on first Monday and pick up another pair of pups. I guess I’ll get another pair of Black and Tans. There’re about the best hounds around when it comes to trackin’ big game—well, them and Redbones,” he added. “What do you say, Lizzy? You want to go with me?”
It appeared that as soon as the words slipped from his mouth, Henry remembered. “Oh hell, you can’t go. I forget you have a regular job now.” Uncle Henry laughed, shaking his head as he poured white gravy over the top of another serving of eggs and grits. “I’ll just have to go by myself. Pass the ham and red-eye gravy, Lori.”
As she passed the ham and gravy to her husband, Lori turned to Lizzy. “What’s the matter, child? You seemed to have lost your appetite.”
“I’m fine,” she whispered. “I’ll help you clear away the dishes, and then I think Fitzwilliam and I will go for a walk.” Shoving away from the table, she collected their plates and moved towards the dishwasher.
~*~
After breakfast, Elizabeth and Darcy left for a stroll in the garden. It was a crisp, beautiful, autumn morning as they sauntered leisurely hand in hand, enjoying in the sights. The pansies and chrysanthemums were in full bloom with beautiful bright colors while the trees were now mostly bare, and pecans and black walnuts were falling. The smell of the fireplace and wood-burning stove from the house filled the air. All this combined to create a quiet, reflective mood.
Darcy could see that she was clearly upset, and not only from the news of her cousin, he suspected, but from the mention of her dogs as well. He remembered that Elizabeth had meant to show him the graves, but she had obviously forgotten. As they walked in the garden, Darcy broached the subject.
“Elizabeth, are you all right? I noticed you seemed a little upset with the news of your cousin.”
She glanced up at him. “That would be an understatement.” She heaved a heavy sigh. “Liddy’s behavior is no surprise at all. It was bound to happen sooner or later. Aunt Lydia has spoiled her all of her life. I’m just so embarrassed you heard it; that’s all.”
“Elizabeth, don’t worry about that. It’s not important, but don’t you feel a bit sorry for your cousin’s parents? I mean, things must be terrible for them right now.”
Elizabeth’s face softened. “I do feel sorry for my aunt and uncle, but Aunt Lydia has never been close with any of us. There was always tension between my aunt and my father,” Elizabeth said, shaking her head. “And there has always been this undercurrent between my aunt’s family and us. The rest of the family ignores it, sloughing it off as ‘that’s just Lydia.’ Uncle Robert and Aunt Tana laugh about it. But it irks me, and Liddy is just like her, except my aunt is not so crude and reckless. She does give some consideration to what people think, and family reputation is important to her, so I imagine this is tough for her to take.”
Darcy puzzled a bit and then finally asked, “Help me to keep things straight. Who are Robert and Tana?”
“Oh, sorry about that. Robert is my father’s younger brother. He’s a lawyer in town, and Tana owns Bennett Florist downtown across from Watson and Moore’s Funeral Home.” She smiled, looking up at him. “There’s also Sam Henry and Johnny, my mother’s brothers, and their wives Bette and Florence.”
“I see. Now, back to what you were saying about Liddy’s situation.”
She sighed in exasperation. “Liddy doesn’t directly affect this branch of the Bennetts, but we are a close family, so we will come together as one and support her no matter what the cost to the family. That’s what bothers me.”
She kicked a pile of leaves as they walked. “We care. Liddy doesn’t. Whereas I, or any of the rest of us, would make a sacrifice for the good of the family, Liddy would not. She’s selfish.” She stooped and picked up a magnolia fruit as they walked along, shucking the red s
eeds from the cone as they went. “Another thing that upsets me is the whispers and the pity of well-meaning neighbors, but let’s not dwell on my cousin’s stupidity.”
“It’s just talk, Elizabeth. It’ll pass quickly, and then they’ll go on to the next topic soon enough.” He paused to squeeze her shoulder. “There’s an English saying—Today’s news is tomorrow’s fish and chips wrapper.”
“Yes, I know, and I choose to think nothing more about it,” Elizabeth said, tossing the cone aside before intertwining her hand with Darcy’s once again.
As they followed the garden path in silence, Fitzwilliam sensed her continued disquiet. “Elizabeth, something is still bothering you. Is it the dogs?”
She put her arm around Darcy’s waist and leaned against his strong frame. “Yes, it is. I wanted you to see the place where we buried them. Before we leave today, we’ll visit the gravesite. I planted a bed of pansies there. They should be beautiful by now. Another thing that bothers me is the thought of replacing Old Dan and Lady Beth. The new pups won’t be mine. They’ll be Henry’s.”
Fitzwilliam hugged her while placing a quick kiss in her hair, inhaling the sweet rose scent he loved so much. “If you would like a pair of new pups, we can get some. Though, of course, it might be better to wait until we know where we are going to live.”
“Someday, that would be nice. However, I want to have the time to handle and train them myself, and now is not the time. I already have a full plate.” Embracing him, Elizabeth thanked Darcy for his kindness as they turned to walk back into the house to prepare for church.
Church was at eleven a.m., and as Elizabeth had predicted, they were all expected to go. The sermon was about the importance of the Christian home and raising children as God would have you to do. Pastor Emery quoted scripture on how the husband was to love the wife as Christ loved the Church and how the woman was to be the keeper of the home where both parents were to love, nurture, and protect the children. Elizabeth thought it was fitting with regard to what they had discussed the night before. Darcy took her hand in his, gently squeezing it as if he had thought the same.
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