When lunch was concluded, David set his napkin aside and called for the bill. Hesitating, he finally spoke the words she dreaded. “Cecilia, I’m afraid my plans have changed. I’ll be returning to Tennessee today.” His eyes traced her face as if he were searching for her reaction.
She was greatly disappointed. She’d been looking forward to another evening with him, but she’d be damned before she would allow him to see it.
“I see,” she said coolly, slipping back into her aloof mask of disinterest. “Let me thank you for dinner and the lovely evening, then. I enjoyed it,” she said with a clipped tone, “Oh, and thank you for the vase of flowers. It was truly a lovely thought.” Her smile was more forced than an indication of true pleasure. But it was all right. She had learned a long time ago not to expect too much. Last night, David had given her what she needed most, tenderness and a night of hot, passionate sex, and with that, she would be content.
He walked her back to the Lawton Executive Complex and dropped her off in the main lobby. After kissing her goodbye, he left. Cecilia closed her eyes and shook her head as she reached up and wiped away a single solitary tear. It had stung when he had told her he was leaving, but she knew to hold on loosely. That way she would never be hurt like the women who had loved her father—a strong and powerful man who had been unable to love anyone but her. She understood that. And after all, had she not told Darcy not to expect anything from her? So why should she expect anything from him? They had an agreement. She would be content with whatever he gave her and would ask for nothing more.
Feeling more satisfied than she had felt in a long time, Cecilia took the elevator to the second floor. A smile graced her face as she entered her office, but no sooner had she stepped over the threshold, than the smile faded from her face.
Chapter Twenty-three
… More than a Feeling…
Taken aback by the unexpected appearance, Cecilia halted abruptly in mid-step. “Cameron! What are you doing here?”
“Surprised to see me, I see, or is it just plain shocked,” he sneered. “I thought you were too tired to go to dinner last night!”
Cecilia closed the door behind her and strode over to her desk, glaring at him every step of the way. Going through the motion of looking over the afternoon schedule, her mind was in turmoil and on anything but her upcoming appointments. She looked up and caught Cameron’s narrowing gaze. “I recovered,” she said coolly.
He paced in front of her, a pointed look first at the clock on the wall and then at her. “Tell me, did you sleep with him?”
“It’s none of your business.”
Ignoring the warning bite in her voice, Cameron probed, “Do you love him?”
“Have I ever loved anyone?”
“Oh, I’d like to think you loved me once. We were close, as I recall.”
“Don’t flatter yourself, Taylor. It was an infatuation—sex—nothing more than that.”
“Just sex? I don’t think so. I was there too, or did you forget?”
Tapping her fingers on her desk, she glanced up. “You’re hopeless, Cameron. I wish I’d taken the day off.”
“Hopeless?” He laughed. “No, not hopeless. I remember how you trembled in my arms when we made love and how you would laugh and sport around with me when we rode together on my daddy’s plantation. You cared, and you loved me.” He walked over to the large window and looked out.
Listening to him recall their past did nothing for her as she paused to think about it. Had she loved him? No, she knew she hadn’t, because when she found him with someone else, she hadn’t even cared as she presumed a woman in love surely would. Instead, an icy hardness had frozen her heart, reminding her of how foolish she’d been to have trusted him in the first place—a mistake she’d vowed never to make again. No man would ever own her heart. The cost was too high.
Cameron turned from the window, watching her, becoming increasingly irritated with her lack of response. Finally he burst forth. “Celia, I insist on an answer. Do you love him?!”
“I don’t owe you any answers, nor am I accountable to you—”
“Cut the crap, Celia. Just tell me. Do you love him?!” Fire flew from his steel blue eyes as he shouted from across the room.
“No, he’s just a friend. Are you satisfied?!” She raised an eyebrow, appearing cool and in complete control, though her mind was in a state of turbulence.
Cameron breathed a breath of relief and walked over to where Cecilia stood, taking her hand in his. “I’m sorry, babe. I know I hurt you,” he said as he rubbed the back of her hand. “I was only twenty years old. We were young—too young for what we were gettin’ into. You don’t know how many times I have regretted it. We’d be married today, if not for that one little indiscretion.”
“One little indiscretion?” she shot back, withdrawing her hand. “After all these years, you still don’t have a clue, do you? Well, allow me to clue you in. I was your girlfriend for nearly three years! And yes, we were young, but I was old enough to know that you don’t cheat on someone you’re talking marriage with.” Cecilia recoiled and turned away as tears of anger stung her eyes.
Cameron grabbed her shoulder and spun her around. “I meant it back then, and I mean it today! We were meant for one another. It’s just that I was young and stupid. If I could take it back, I would!”
His penetrating stare appeared to search for a truce or perhaps a trace of those old feelings. She didn’t know which, but she felt none of it. She remained unmoved. “I don’t know what you meant back then. All I know is that we were together as a couple. You were the first man I’d ever been with in any way, and yet, after three years, I wasn’t enough for you.” She stepped back. “You had to screw around on me, and not with just anyone, either, but with the one person who loathes me and always has! That’s what I cannot overcome or forgive, so let’s just drop it!” Cecilia slammed her appointment book shut as she dropped into her seat, giving him a cold stare.
“You’ll have dinner with me tonight. I’ll pick you up at six.” He turned to walk in the direction of the door, stopping long enough to pick up his overcoat draped over a chair back before turning back to face her. “Cecilia, we were meant for one another, and no damned Englishman can prevent it. I intend to make everything up to you. I’ll begin tonight.”
“Don’t bother, Cameron. I’m working late to make up for this morning. Call me by the weekend. Perhaps I’ll reconsider and we’ll talk, but that’s all we’ll be doing.”
“You have to eat, so if we don’t do anything more than just sit here in your office with Chinese takeout, we’ll have dinner together. Tonight! Everybody has to eat.” He wavered, dropping his gaze momentarily. “I really am sorry, Celia, but I mean it. I love you, babe. We can be as good as we ever were.”
Cameron turned to open the door, but before he had time to walk through it, she called out to him. “Cameron, don’t bother to bring anything.” Cecilia rose from her desk and walked over to where he stood. “If you really want to make things up to me, then respect my wishes. Call me in a day or two, and we’ll talk about dinner. Now, if you will excuse me, I really do have a lot of work to do.”
“I’ll call you tomorrow,” he said, hesitating, his eyes searching hers as he pressed his hand to her face, gently stroking it. He then turned and drifted into the executive lobby toward the elevator.
As she watched him go, Cecilia noted that he had none of the confidence in his walk that David possessed. She had also seen the sorrow and longing in Cameron’s eyes, but she remained untouched. If he cared as he claimed he did, it was not her concern. Whatever he felt for her, she didn’t care. It wasn’t reciprocated. It was gone…scattered like the fluff of a dandelion dispersed by a summer breeze. Her heart of flesh had been replaced a long time ago with a heart of stone.
As for David Darcy, she smirked, she didn’t love him either, and she had no intentions of giving herself the opportunity to discover if she could. If he wanted to see her, she would see
him and enjoy his attentions with no expectations of anything else. After all, had he not told her he would stay and take her to dinner tonight and then for some unexplained reason left? She knew there was an attraction between them, but he was either unable or unwilling to develop it. She didn’t know which, nor did she care. Perhaps they shared the same reservations. A tear slid down her cheek. She brushed it away and moved back to her desk, taking her seat to await her first appointment.
~*~
David left the Lawton Executive Complex more disturbed than ever before. If this was supposed to have settled things for him, it hadn’t. Listening to the radio as he drove back from Charleston, his mind drifted. He hadn’t anticipated leaving a day early, but after their night together and following morning, he knew he couldn’t stay—not after what that excursion had cost him in terms of his feelings and emotions. He intuitively knew Cecilia’s grip on him would tighten to an intolerable level if he spent another hour with her, let alone another night. He didn’t understand what was happening to him, but whatever it was, he was sure he didn’t like it.
Why had he come, he asked himself? The answer was quite simple. He couldn’t get her off his mind. He had to see her, if for no other reason than to assure himself that he could spend time with her, romance her, and then turn and walk away as he had done a thousand times before. They had an agreement they’d established their first night, one he made with every woman he dated, but if this trip had been to prove that she was just like any other woman, it had failed miserably.
What David hadn’t counted on was her enthusiasm when he surprised her in her office. In fact, he’d been pleasantly shocked. A smile graced his lips at the thought of it.
…She hugged me. How could I have anticipated what a simple hug would mean to me? How it would affect me? She said she’d had a rough day, but she was clearly glad to see me, and I was touched by what appeared to be a show of affection.
She said something about a mess—must be an American term for some sort of trouble or an unwanted situation. I don’t know, but she was definitely glad to see me. And her reaction to dinner was more than I expected. For a moment, I thought I almost saw something there. Could she? Could I? Could we?
Then she had to tell me about her lack of knickers. He laughed out loud. I never know what to expect from her. I guess I expect the unexpected. I don’t know what I’ll do about whatever it is that she has invited me to in April—some sort of ball, I think. She gave me her mobile number, so she expects, and probably wants, me to ring her. I guess I’ll have to in order to tell her whatever I decide about that. What did she call it? Magnolia Festival—ha! How could I forget it when I nearly choked to death because of it … that and her lack of knickers?
Their evening together had been pleasant, even fun. He thought of it fondly, smiling uncharacteristically in reflection, and then his memory of their night came into focus. She was everything he had imagined she would be: impulsive, witty, intelligent, and an intense lover. They complemented one another perfectly in bed, and as he thought about it, everywhere else, from the bedroom to the boardroom and probably to the ballroom. She knew how to give as well as she received, and he had felt the desire to give more than the need to take. I see why men fall for her. She’s beautiful… charming… provocative, and a good lover…and … I … I…
Just as quickly as his thoughts had slipped into reflections of the multifaceted attraction they shared, his rational mind shoved them aside. No! This was a bad idea. Seeing her again has only made the attraction stronger. She may have been glad to see me, but she was certainly not disappointed to see me leave… not in the least. I looked carefully, searching for some sign of regret in her features, some emotion in reaction to my change of plans, but there was none. All I saw was her usual cool, unaffected demeanor. She’d had a hard day, and I relieved her stress. That’s all it was—sex, nothing more. And even if there were, I’m not sure I would want it. She is a challenge, which I have conquered … or have I? If it’s just sex, why am I even thinking about her? Sex has never been difficult for me to find. No, it’s not just sex. The more I’m with her, the more I want to be with her. I need to dismiss this and get past it. I will conquer this! I will!
Static interfered with the music on the fading radio station. David went through the selections and picked up a classic rock station from Spartanburg, South Carolina. That would do just fine since he was in the mood for that. The next song they played was from Boston. …Hmm…didn’t Cecilia say they were among her favorite groups from the 80s? I’ll turn it up.
Reaching to turn up the volume, he suddenly stiffened as the words from More than a Feeling drifted through the speakers, catching his total attention. Listening closely, his mind focused on the lady who held his thoughts and imagination captive. Did he really want to simply walk away—walk away without knowing what, if anything, would come from it? The problem was that she upset his equilibrium, and his deep-seated fear of an emotional attachment stopped him cold. However, the thought of fleeing from the unexplored and uncertain contrasted sharply with his history of not letting a challenge go unmet. He struggled with a mixture of feelings, some of which were antipodal…feelings he’d never experienced before. She was beginning to mean more to him than a romp in the sack, and it distressed him. He fully understood their respective personalities, but vacillated as to whether or not there could be a shared future for them.
Finally, as if snapping out of a brain fog, David turned the radio off. He had no intentions of falling for her. In due time, he would ring her up and inform her he would not be attending the Magnolia function, or whatever it was. He’d make up some oblique excuse about a business engagement he couldn’t miss, or whatever he could think of and make it sound believable. She wouldn’t care anyway, no more than she had cared when he’d left a day early.
Suddenly a computerized voice interrupted his thoughts, bringing his mind back into focus on the task at hand—returning to Tennessee. His impending exit was coming up.
Chapter Twenty-four
…friends don’t kiss like that…
When his aunt had invited Georgiana Darcy to stay on the farm over the next two weeks, Joseph was annoyed. Ordinarily, he would not have minded a guest at the farm. This, however, was no ordinary guest. It was a beautiful young lady whom he happened to find very attractive, much to his consternation. He knew she would be a distraction, and that was not what he wanted or needed.
The first day, he tried to ignore her, saying no more than was necessary when they drove into town to meet with his Uncle Robert. Georgiana had visited his Aunt Tana at the flower shop while he’d spent the morning in Robert’s office setting up the transfer of money into a special account, as well as solidifying their plans for Liddy’s defense, should it become necessary. When their business was concluded, they all had lunch together. Joseph noticed how well Georgiana and his aunt got along, laughing and cutting up as if they were old friends. That, too, was a bit annoying, for now surely Tana would tease him.
The drive back to the farm was most uncomfortable as they sat beside one another in dead silence until he switched on the radio and found some New Age station out of Nashville, which she appeared to enjoy. Of all the situations for his time at home, why did he have to spend it with a beautiful blue-eyed blonde who spoke in the most adorable accent he’d ever heard? If he could, he intended to avoid her over the next two weeks, but glancing sideways at the girl beside him, he somehow knew that would not be easy.
Once they were back from town, he managed to pass the remainder of the first day out of sight, toiling on a broken fence in the far pasture. The second day he worked in the barn, stacking hay bales in the loft, cleaning stalls, and laying fresh hay for the horses and milk cow, but by the third day, he accidentally kept running into her.
That morning he’d headed towards the gazebo, anticipating reading the morning paper with a cup of hot coffee. But there she was with a book, and he presumed, coffee of her own. He’d then backed awa
y and gone to the porch instead. By late morning, he thought he’d walk to the barn to play with the hounds, but she was already there frolicking with them. He turned and retreated to the house. After lunch, he’d journeyed to the creek for solitude, and there she was again, throwing rocks in the stream. From the confused expression on her face, he could tell she wondered what was wrong. He withdrew again and went to the tool shed to collect a ladder and bow saw. He’d noticed the fruit trees needed to be pruned, and not knowing what else to do, he figured now was as good a time as any to do the job. He had thought surely she would not come to the orchard, but he was wrong again. There she was, walking towards him, looking rather disturbed.
“Joseph, have I done something to offend or upset you?” she asked. “You have been avoiding me. I realize that being strangers divided by a common language may cause difficulties, but I must assure you I would never intentionally insult anyone.”
He climbed down from the ladder and put the bow saw aside. He then turned to catch her intense, questioning eyes. “Georgiana, it’s not that. It’s not that at all.” Glancing away for a moment, he turned and fixed his gaze upon her. “I’ll be truthful with you. I’m not trying to avoid you for anything you have done. And it’s not that I don’t wish to be in your company—it’s just that…well…to be honest …it’s quite the opposite.”
Georgiana’s mouth flew open.
He silently cursed under his breath. Now he’d done it! He had just confessed to something he had sworn he wouldn’t do. Well, he had better explain, for he suspected she would not leave without clarification. Taking a deep breath, he began. “Miss Darcy…in a few days, I’ll be gone, and I don’t know when, or even if, I will return.” He paused to wipe the sweat from his brow. “We’re at war, Georgiana, and I’m often in the heat of the battle. It’s bad enough that my family has to endure the uncertainties that situation presents. And…” He hesitated while twisting his ring. “I can’t afford to make friendships.”
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