“Wait, perhaps I have an email from someone. Joseph told me he’d made arrangements for me to be contacted should anything happen. Joseph and I have been communicating, so he has my email address. I’ll explain everything later,” Georgiana said, realizing Elizabeth knew nothing about their relationship. Running to the computer in her brother’s room, she hastily brought up her email account.
“Here it is! It’s from a General Haines. I’ll print it out. It says Joseph has been wounded, but he is alive and in serious condition. He is on his way to Frankfurt, Germany. We must go to him. And Elizabeth,” she hesitated, “I’ll explain everything in transit, but know this, I love your brother very much…and…he asked me to wait for him. I’ll give you all the details, but for now, we’ve got to move quickly.”
Georgiana rushed out the door for her room. As soon as things could be arranged, they were aboard Pemberley One headed for Germany.
~*~
Entering the ICU lobby of the U.S. Army hospital in Frankfurt, Fitzwilliam and Elizabeth found her family and David and Cecilia already assembled, waiting for them. Elizabeth’s aunt and uncle were there, as were Mary Beth and André, Kat, Daniel, Jane and Charles. Even Lydia and Randy were there, but some of the family had remained behind to care for the farms.
“Have any of you been in to see him?” Elizabeth asked as she hugged each one.
“Yes, I have,” Robert answered. “You’ll have to prepare yourself, Lizzy. He doesn’t look good. God, I can’t believe what happened. By all rights, he should be dead.” He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. “General Haines told me that apparently one of his officers sacrificed his life for his men.”
At the sound of Robert’s words, Georgiana winced, nearly collapsing, as David lunged to support her. Elizabeth reached over and grabbed her hand. “It’s all right, Georgiana. At least he’s alive.”
Turning her anxious but steady gaze back to her uncle, she asked, “Can we see him?”
“Yes, but they only allow five people in at a time. Some of us have already been, and the next group has just come out, so you and Cecilia and the rest are next.”
Elizabeth looked up at Fitzwilliam who reached for her hand, squeezing it. He drew in a deep breath. “Let’s go.”
Cautiously entering the room, Elizabeth almost fainted. Fitzwilliam steadied her, holding her close to keep her from collapsing. Beside him, David supported Georgiana. Fitzwilliam winced. He had never seen anyone so seriously injured. Joseph’s face was badly swollen and covered in bandages, and his left arm was in traction. He seemed to recognize them, but he could not see them. He lifted his right arm to hug first his sister and then Georgiana, telling them not to worry. Georgiana hugged him close and cried.
He stroked her hair as she hugged his neck. “Don’t cry, Georgie. Don’t cry. All will be well. I will ride over the stream and rest under the shade of the tree.”
Elizabeth gasped in horror as her hand flew to her mouth. She bit back a sob and cried out, “Oh dear God! He’s quoting Thomas Jackson.”
Georgiana glanced up through tear-stained eyes. “Who?”
“Thomas J. ‘Stonewall’ Jackson,” Cecilia solemnly said, “the great Confederate general who was wounded at the Battle of Chancellorsville fought near Spotsylvania Courthouse in Virginia. Those are very the words he said just before he died. He was delirious.”
David suddenly appeared at Georgiana’s side, guiding her to a chair. After seeing that she was comfortably seated, he took a seat beside her. Fitzwilliam helped Elizabeth to the sofa where Cecilia soon joined them, offering consolation and reassurance as Elizabeth wept uncontrollably.
“Elizabeth, listen to me, honey…Listen to me.” Cecilia slipped her arm around her friend’s shoulder. “He’s going to be all right. Jackson died from pneumonia, not from his wounds. We have antibiotics today to fight infections. Joseph will make it. You have to have faith. Now is the time for prayer—not despair.”
“Cecilia’s right, darling. He will make it,” Fitzwilliam reassured, enclosing her in his arms, but one quick glance at the heavily bandaged man made him wonder.
The door to the room opened and ICU nurse approached them. “I’m sorry, but you will have to leave now. It’s time for the doctor to examine him,” she explained. “He will probably administer something to make him sleep. He needs rest and time.”
Fitzwilliam gathered Elizabeth while David and Cecilia helped Georgiana. Once they’d returned to the waiting room, they began to discuss the evening’s plans.
“They want one of us to stay by his bedside twenty-four/seven. We’ll do it in six-hour shifts. I’ll volunteer for the first shift. Mary Beth, will you take the second?” Robert asked.
“Yes, I will. I brought along some of his favorite works—Solzhenitsyn and Tolstoy. I’ll read to him.”
“I’ll take the midnight shift,” Elizabeth said, “and I’ll pick up and read where you leave off.”
“Elizabeth, do you think that’s wise, considering your condition?” Fitzwilliam asked.
“Fitzwilliam, I have to. Night is always the most critical time. I must be with him. You don’t understand. We are very close. All through our childhood, we were inseparable. I can’t let him be alone during the night. If he should die, I want to be with him.”
“All right, but I insist on being close by.”
A little more conversation and the schedules were arranged with Georgiana, Jane, Kat, and Daniel all agreeing on their turns.
When Elizabeth’s turn came, a cot was brought in for her and placed beside Joseph’s bed. Fitzwilliam was given a bedroom close by, in case his wife should need him.
As Elizabeth read and kept watch, Joseph drifted in and out of consciousness, talking most of the night. He would call for Lizzy as he relived their childhood experiences, laughing as he spoke. She set the book aside and moved closer to reassure him that she was there, but he paid no mind to her words. Instead, he continued drifting to another time, another place.
He began talking to Butler and Bailey. He issued orders to his men as they closed in on Saddam Hussein. He discussed strategy for tracking Zarqawi, but when he mentioned Georgiana Darcy, Elizabeth’s ears perked up. She listened intently as Joseph replayed conversations between himself and Georgiana. Elizabeth heard his declaration of love for her sister-in-law, and from what she heard Joseph say, it appeared he knew Georgiana returned his love. She smiled and released a breath.
Suddenly, Joseph’s mood darkened and his expression became intense. He was once again somewhere in the heat of battle. Joseph was yelling orders. Elizabeth became alarmed when her brother began screaming. “Bailey…
BAILEY…Nooooooooo!”
The scream was so loud that the nurse outside the glass wall heard it. She collided with Elizabeth as she rushed into the room with a sedative, which she quickly plunged into his IV. Within minutes, Joseph calmed and drifted back into a peaceful sleep.
“Mrs. Darcy, are you all right? Can I get you anything?”
Visibly shaken, Elizabeth was crying and trembling when Fitzwilliam made it to her side. “Yes, bring us some water, please.” Fitzwilliam told the worried nurse.
When the nurse returned with a pitcher of ice water and two glasses, Fitzwilliam asked her to fill the glasses and leave the pitcher on the bedside cabinet.
“Shush…Elizabeth… Shh…it’s all right, my love…it’s all right.”
She continued to sob as she talked through her tears. “Fitzwilliam, it was awful…awful. He told me what happened that day. Oh, he doesn’t know he told me, but he told me…He told me.”
“Shh, Elizabeth, shush. Have some water, and you can tell me all about it.”
“Yes, thank you.” She nodded.
He gently helped her to the sofa where they both sat and drank the water while Elizabeth told him everything. As he silently listened, Fitzwilliam held her in his arms, rubbing her back and spreading gentle kisses in her hair. When she finally drifted off to sleep, he kept watch through
the night, holding his very pregnant wife, staring at a still man who hung somewhere between life and death.
~*~
Joseph awoke from heavy sedation one week after entering the hospital. Immediately upon awakening, he questioned his family about Butler’s welfare, appearing relieved when they assured him his fellow Marine would recover. However, Joseph never inquired after Bailey.
Not long after waking, depression set in. Concerned for his wellbeing, each family member read to him in hopes of cheering him and keeping him company. When it came time for Joseph to leave the hospital, Elizabeth wanted him to come to England to recover and rest, but military regulations required that he return to a military hospital in the U.S. Being close to her due date, she knew she could not accompany him back to the States, so it was decided that Georgiana would accompany Joseph to Fort Sam Houston in San Antonio, Texas.
Chapter Eighty-six
…Life goes on like it always has…
Two Months Later
Sitting on his hospital bed at Brooke Army Medical Center, Joseph reflected on his life, and in particular, the most recent events. His body had healed, and in a few days, he would be released to return home.
Home, he thought. He was a broken man, and he knew it. His left arm was disfigured and would require many surgeries and months of physical therapy to recover any usefulness. He rose from the edge of the bed and ambled to the bathroom. While washing his hands, he looked in the mirror and turned his head, gazing at the left side of his face. Thick scars cut across his cheek and down the side of his neck. His eye was scarred over and almost swollen shut. Grotesque…mutilated…ugly! He angrily dried his hands and tossed the paper towel into the trash. Returning to his room, he took a seat.
Georgiana would arrive in fifteen minutes. He sighed. All morning he’d thought of her… of them and their future together—or rather, if they should have one at all. He loved her. That he did not doubt, and he knew she loved him too, or she would not be here. But what did he have to offer her now? He was broken in both body and spirit, and he would not be a charity case. His pride forbade it. She outranked him in both wealth and social standing. Could he really ask her to be a farmer’s wife, married to a man permanently disfigured? No, for her own good, he needed to let her go.
Entering his room minutes later, Georgiana wore a bright yellow dress and was as cheerful as ever. “Joseph, it’s such a beautiful day. I can’t believe how warm San Antonio is for January,” she said with a bright smile. “I called Elizabeth last night, and she told me they have snow at Pemberley. Fitzwilliam finally had his deer shooting party. Everyone was there. Next year, we’ll be there, too.”
Joseph only smiled. …No, Georgiana, we won’t be there next year or any year.
She smiled back at him. “Since it’s such a warm, pretty sort of day, why don’t we walk out into the courtyard? It’s very lovely.”
He nodded and reached for her hand. Now would be as good a time as any to tell her. Once outside, they strolled along the garden paths in relative silence. She had tried to strike up a conversation numerous times, but he remained silent. Her bubbly enthusiasm was beginning to grate on his nerves, for he felt none of it. It irritated him. All he wanted was to be left alone in his misery, but he had to tell her. He would be as gentle as he could, using what little semblance of manners and respectability he had left.
“Georgiana, I am much better now. You can return home anytime, you know.”
Her crestfallen expression gave evidence to the wound he knew he’d inflicted, but he continued. “I will be going back to Longbourn soon.”
With a swell of emotion, she asked, “Joseph, do you want me to go?”
“Why would you want to stay?” he asked without emotion.
“Oh stop it! You know very well why I want to stay. I thought you loved me.”
His jaw clenched. “Georgiana, I was a whole man then. This is what I am now!” he cried bitterly as he turned to face her.
“Joseph Bennett! You stop feeling sorry for yourself this very instant. I won’t have it. Love doesn’t change because looks or circumstances change,” she hotly lashed back.
His anger, mingled with humiliation, rose. “I have nothing to offer you. I was going to be a career military officer when I went to Annapolis. I had hopes of making it to general, and then I accepted that damned assignment. It wasn’t long until I wanted nothing more to do with a military career. I was to resign my commission when my initial service obligation was completed …and then I thought maybe…That is until…until this!” he said, holding his left arm up slightly and turning the left side of his face to her.
“Don’t you understand that I don’t care? You are still the same person, and we don’t lack for money. You can go back to school and find some other career,” she pleaded through teary eyes.
“I will not take your money,” he replied fiercely.
“Then don’t. I happen to know from Elizabeth that you have thirty million dollars. Don’t you think that’s enough for us?”
“It’s nothing to what you are used to. I can’t give you the life of luxury that you are accustomed to.”
“Why do you think that matters? I can be happy with more or less, and what you have to offer me is certainly not less,” she argued. “Unless…are you telling me that you don’t love me anymore?” Her lower lip trembled as her voice shook with the next question. “That you no longer want to marry me?”
She waited, but there was no answer forthcoming.
“Well?”
Still, no answer.
“Joseph, I at least deserve an answer.” She choked back a sob, tears threatening to fall.
Inhaling deeply, he finally responded. “Georgiana, I have nothing to offer you. Why do you want a man with so many problems? A broken man!”
“Because I love you!” Her voice cracked. “I know life is not easy and that you have a lot to overcome, but will you not at least allow me share your burdens?”
“Georgiana, have you really thought this through? Have you considered what you would be giving up to marry me, especially with the way things are now? I’m not going to be a career military officer. There won’t be any prestige or glory. All I can offer you is a simple life as a farmer’s wife. I do plan to return to school to complete a PhD. in electrical engineering, and then I will teach in the fall and winter like my father did. That’s the life I will lead. Could you be satisfied with that?” he asked.
“Joseph, if I’ve learnt anything over the last few years, it’s that there are more important things in life than money and possessions. How much does one need? I can tell you that if you can’t spend your life with the person you love, then the rest is worthless. I can learn to be a farmer’s wife. I love you. Isn’t that enough?” she asked with a glimmer of hope sounding in her voice.
He released a long sigh, and then looked at her tenderly. Was it her declaration of love, her refusal to leave, or his own unwillingness to be without her that had changed his mind? He didn’t know. Perhaps it was all three. If she could love him with all of his problems, then he couldn’t let her go, not when he wanted her, not when he needed her.
“You know I never officially asked you, but… I guess we both knew I meant to. If you can put up with me, then…well…let me formally ask you. Georgiana Darcy, I love you. Will you marry me?” he said with a slight smile.
“Joseph Bennett!” she cried, “I think I will.” Her tears streaked her cheeks.
He reached down to kiss her chastely, but she grabbed him, pulling him into a deeper, loving kiss, and being a man in love, he deepened the kiss, pulling her into a tight embrace with his one good arm.
He held her close. “Georgiana, this will not be easy. You do know that, don’t you? I have a lot of bad memories. I did my job, and that’s all I can say about it. It will take years and my faith in God to get past the faces of the men I killed,” he said. “They were just men like Butler, Bailey, and me—some of them very young. And then there is the memory
of Butler and Bailey. I will never forget what I saw that day. Bailey—he threw himself on that grenade. Why’d he do it?”
Joseph broke down and cried, the tears slowly trickling down his cheeks. Georgiana held him while he washed his soul in tears.
“I know this is hard, and I have no words of understanding to speak to you. I have never experienced anything like what you have, but I do know you must not look back. Joseph, you were doing your job, and I know…I know freedom isn’t free. It comes at a price, but the things that are of the past are in the past. We must live on and look to the future,” she softly said.
“You’re right. I know that. It’s just that nothing has turned out like I had thought it would. When I went to the Naval Academy, I had stars in my eyes. I was going to serve my country. I was going to make a difference. Even though I knew men died in war, I don’t think I fully understood it, and it’s quite another thing to take a man’s life with your own hands,” he said, staring off into the distance.
Returning his gaze to Georgiana, he continued. “There is one other thing I must tell you. You will not live in the luxury you are used to, but it’s not so bad either. The farm has a good income, and I do have hired help. My aunt and uncle live at Longbourn with Grace, our housekeeper. I want them to continue there. They kept the farm going while I was gone. I owe them that much.”
“Of course, they shall stay. Your aunt can teach me all that I need to know about farm life. I plan to finish my master’s degree, and then I want to teach music, perhaps at the local university. With a master’s degree, I think they will take me.” She smiled up at Joseph.
“Yes, I’m sure they will. So, do you wish for us to wait to marry until you have finished?”
“I don’t know, but I do know I want to complete my education. I can do it in a year’s time, if I work hard. Do you think you can wait for me? I can fly to see you often, or you can come to London. We could still marry. I don’t mind the separation if you don’t. It’s just a year, and I would be with you for the Christmas holiday, but I will need to attend in the summer in order to graduate in a year’s time.”
The Cumberland Plateau Page 92