He shook his head. "Brothers, but they're dead. No one is going to come for me now."
She blinked in surprise. When she had questioned him directly about his past he had screamed in pain. But engaging his attention seemed to let him get over whatever barriers to remembrance he had put up. Or which had been imposed upon him...
"How can you be so sure?" she asked casually, as she put all their supplies near to hand so that as it got darker, she would be able to locate the candles and tinder box.
"I was told."
"How many?"
"Brothers? Two."
"Older or younger?"
"One and one."
"So that makes you the middle boy?" she calculated, shaking out the towel she had used for his ablutions, and looking around for somewhere to hang it to dry.
"The mathematical one."
She grimaced. "Not something I know much about."
His eyes lit with enthusiasm. "Ah, a fascinating subject. Endless permutations. Like roses."
"Roses?" she echoed, her brows knitting.
Simon nodded and gave another of his magnificent if rare smiles. "Yes. Well, any flower, really."
She listened to him carefully as he began to highlight selective breeding, wondering as she did so why the words seemed vaguely familiar.
"So you can get an endless number of possibilities. It's all in a special kind of code. Like people. Why does one child end up with blue eyes and one with green, when parents have those colours too?"
"And yours are gold."
"Yes, and Georges a dark brown, almost black, and..." Simon grabbed his head then, in the throes of one of one his fits.
She shoved the food parcels toward the foot of the bed, got him safely onto it, and held him tightly to her until the fit finally subsided.
"Was that as bad as the others?" she asked when his thrashing about had subsided somewhat.
"Not quite," he gasped, his jaw clenched.
She put some vinegar and brown paper on his head and then sat down and laid it in her lap. She took up her book of poetry and began to read to him quietly.
Soon he kissed her hand, and said, "Can we please have something more to eat?"
She got the bread and cheese out of their paper wrappers, and stretched over to hand him the cup of water he had been sipping from while she had been cleaning.
"I miss wine. We grew up on it, of course. Can't remember the last time..." A sucked in breath cut him off.
"Try not to remember for now, Simon," she urged. "You're fighting a huge battle with the opiates. Don't weaken yourself by forcing recollections which literally give you pain."
He sighed. "No, you're right. It's just that seeing you again, it brings it all back to me. You're very like your mother, I suppose. That's why I think I recognise you. Of course I couldn't. You were only a little girl, you and your sister. You were the dazzling one with that red hair of yours. But though you've both grown from girls into women since I last saw you, I can see the same cast to your faces. What happened to your sister?" he asked suddenly.
"She's in the cell next door."
He shook his head slightly as she stroked his thick dark hair while he ate. "No, I meant why is she here?"
She shrugged one shoulder. "As is often the way in our world, alas. A bad marriage, to an indifferent husband. He tricked me into committing her. Told me she would be helped here. By the time I knew what this place was like, it was already too late."
"She would have died if you hadn't come along. Like me."
Gabrielle shook her head. "Oh, I don't think it would have been..."
"I know it would have been. And the baby?" he asked softly.
"It's still with us. She needs to be careful, though."
"And so who is the woman looking after her while you're stuck here with me?" he asked, shifting onto his back to look at her more closely.
"Clarissa. My cousin Antony's assistant. You remember Antony, don't you? Dr. Herriot?"
Simon nodded. "I do. He warned you about me, didn't he?"
"Yes, about the addiction," she lied.
Simon took another mouthful of food, chewing thoughtfully.
"And does he know where you are, what you're doing?"
She shook her head. "No. He thinks I'm with my cousin in the country for a month. Clarissa will take him some letters from me."
"You have pen and paper?" he said, with a hopeful gleam in his eyes.
"Not with me, but she'll be bringing some soon. All sort of supplies. I promise. It will be fine."
"If I could get a message out to someone to help..."
He convulsed so powerfully then that he nearly fell flat on his face off the edge of the cot. Gabrielle caught him by a handful of shirt just in time and hauled him back into the bed, then climbed over him to press him against the wall, and forced him to lie down.
"There now, it's all right. You'll be fine. Just don't think about it. I'll read to you now, and you can rest."
But the poem she chose only seemed to make him worse. It was ‘Go Lovely Rose' by Edmund Waller.
He began to thrash and would have screamed if she had not clamped her hand over his mouth.
Alarmed at his almost uncontrollable hysteria, she did the only thing she could think of, and planted her lips on his in a blistering kiss.
His shivering subsided for a moment. His arms went around Gabrielle and pulled her right up full against his massively aroused body. He rubbed against her like a powerful jungle cat pouncing on its prey, and then rolled onto his side and dragged his mouth away. His arms tightened around her, and for a moment she was nervous he was going to press his attentions to their natural conclusion.
But he only moved down to her shoulder and snuggled against her, one hand on her shoulder, the other lacing in her hair. He ran it down her hair to her face and throat, then moved it to her waist without touching her breasts.
Gabrielle had to admit she was rather disappointed that he did not. She adored his hands, so huge and masculine. They ought to have been threatening, but she felt safe cradled against him. Safe with a madman, locked in his cell in Bedlam...
Not mad. Ill, but not mad, she reminded herself.
She had read in the history books about the Spanish Inquisition. How if someone had been tortured enough times, they would say anything the inquisitors had wanted.
Could that also be true even years after the fact? Was it possible that the men who had hurt Simon had somehow affected his mind in such a way that the torment came back of its own volition? A memory of the lacination so real that he was sure he felt pain?
His scars certainly seemed to lend credence to her theory. In which case she was correct. He should not try to remember now. He needed to save his strength for the battle against the opium. First his body needed to heal. Then she could see what they could do about his mind.
The soft, steady rhythm of his breathing tickled her cheek and she lay watching the night close into black velvet all around them. It was oddly peaceful despite the noises from the inmates which echoed around the corridors.
"Are you all right?" she asked in a whisper at one point when he shifted against her more comfortably.
"Yes, fine. Better than fine."
"Well, if you don't mind, I'm going to clean the rest of the cell and get out of the tight bodice of this gown."
"No, I don't mind, so long as you have no objections to my reading. I haven't seen a book in so long..."
She reached for the kinder box and candle, and the room was soon bathed in a golden glow.
"Enjoy it for a little while, but stop if your head begins to ache."
"I will."
"And eat as much as you can. We need to try to build you up."
He blushed. "When you're near, I'm always built up."
She risked a glance at the front of his body. His massive erection tented the simple cotton duck trousers and shirt he wore, and she gave a tiny smile. "Is it a bad thing? Or painful to be thus all the time?"
"Painful, aye, in a nice way, if frustrating. If there's no release."
"I seem to recall some release."
He swallowed hard. "And it was lovely. But the joy of a woman's body or, er, mouth on occasion, is without compare."
"You mean people kiss..."
With a huge groan, Simon stood abruptly and pulled Gabrielle straight up into his arms. His mouth swooped down over hers as he kissed her deeply, until her lips parted and their tongues mingled.
Gabrielle clung to his shoulders for support as the now-familiar sensations in the pit of her stomach began to burn.
His mouth slanted across hers, giving him fuller access to her own. His hands slid down over the silky fabric of her gown until he cupped her buttocks with both hands and pressed her hard against his maleness.
Gabrielle's eyes flew wide, but she could feel herself burning with an inner fire which brooked no denial.
"Simon!" she gasped against his questing mouth.
He pulled away to showered her face and throat with tender kisses. "I'm sorry, Gabrielle, if I shocked you. I can't help it, and I won't lie to you. I yearn for you so badly, I feel like I'm going to explode," Simon confessed, as his fingers ran through her flame-coloured locks lovingly, his cheek nuzzling hers.
"Then love me, now, Simon, please?" Gabrielle asked, despite her fears.
Simon paused for a moment, and then looked down into her blue-green eyes to see if she were completely sincere. The last thing he wanted was Gabrielle to offer herself up to him out of gratitude or pity.
But the light that shone within her darkening eyes mirrored his desire and longing too. Simon sighed in relief.
Yet still he held back, not daring to venture back onto the cot with her, for he wanted to hear her tell him of her need with her own lips, so that there would be no regrets on the morrow.
"You can still change your mind, Gabrielle, my love. I will understand," Simon whispered, running his thumb along the curve of her lower lip, now swollen with his kisses.
"No, I can't," Gabrielle sighed, as she caressed his face. "Not unless I wish to regret not loving you for the rest of my life. I need to know what I've been missing not being with you. I can't pretend any more. I want you. Have done ever since we met.
"I want you to touch my breasts, kiss them. Kiss me all over my body, as you just said. Let me do the same to you. I've pretended to be cool and aloof, not spoken to you through the wall these past weeks because I had doubts.
"But even more than the doubts about who you were, after all the terrible things they've all told me about you, I was afraid of the power of this thing between us, when all the while my desire for you has sung in my veins. But I'm not afraid any more. I want you, Simon. I need you. I'm ready, truly."
Overjoyed, Simon swung Gabrielle up in his arms, and laid her down on the cot. He began to undress her slowly, lovingly, her bare body emerging like a delicate flower coming out of its bud.
As the front of her gown parted, Gabrielle boldly reached up to tug at his shirt, before undo the fastenings of his cotton trousers.
In the candlelight, they watched each other longingly, as gradually their bodies became fully revealed.
Gabrielle answered the unspoken question with another assent as Simon stripped away the last of his own clothes, and lay down beside her. Soon he felt her silken limbs entwine around him, sending his senses reeling.
"Gabrielle, I would be gentle and patient with you," Simon groaned as she kissed him with a passionate abandon he had only dared suspect might lurk under her calm surface, "but you're making it difficult for me to hold back."
"I've promised all of myself to you, without fear or restraint," Gabrielle sighed, planting kisses up and down his neck and chest. "I want you so."
He nearly fainted as her hand moved to cover him. She started against the hard velvet flesh. She glanced downwards in wonder, for it seemed to surge and grow even larger.
"It's impossible," she breathed, wide-eyed.
"It will be impossible for me to control myself if you do that again. But no, it is fully possible, with patience, and some coaxing. Do you trust me?" Simon asked earnestly.
Gabrielle nodded and answered with complete honesty, "I do trust you. You've never willingly hurt me, Simon. I know you'll be gentle."
"You're not afraid?' Simon murmured against her rosebud lips.
"Nay, though I'm convinced I'm on fire." She smiled pertly, and Simon's heart turned over.
"I love you, Gabrielle, always."
"And I you, Simon. God help me, but I've never stopped wanting you, even when my cousin told me what you..." Gabrielle confessed candidly, only to pull herself back at the last minute.
"Told you that I what?" he asked in confusion.
"Would be like when the withdrawal started," she supplied quickly. "And the fact that it may take months before you feel really well. Not to mention the epilepsy. But I don't care what he says. I'm brave and I love you. The disease and the addiction are part of you, but they're not you."
He held her close. "Ever since I met you, and then learned you were on the other side of the wall, so close yet so far, I've lain here in this very cot night after night convulsed in an agony of unsatisfied desire. But all you have to do is smile at me or say my name, and I fall in love with you all over again," Simon revealed, his longing shimmering in his golden eyes.
"Oh, Simon, I'm so sorry," Gabrielle whispered tearfully. "I had no idea."
"It doesn't matter, my love. The past is over. Tonight is the first night of my quest to get well, and of our new life together."
Simon cupped her chin in his hand, and teased her mouth open until his tongue entwined with hers. Simon's other hand moved between her thighs, and soon her legs parted fully as she gave herself up completely to the incredible sensations his feathery touches could bring.
Soon Gabrielle was writhing on the bed, panting in a frenzy of ecstasy. Simon feasted on the creamy peaks of her breasts as she arched against him and breathed his name.
"Simon, please," she begged, as her nails bit into his shoulders.
"Not yet, my love," he rasped, revelling in her need for him.
Simon smiled as he looked down at her parted lips and flushed features, and felt a triumphant surge of joy. Never could he have believed how much she wanted him, or how much he could satisfy her.
Boldly, he moved his kisses down to the soft auburn curls, and renewed the attentions his fingers had started.
She lay back on the pillows against as his hand swept upwards over her body and fastened on one rosy nipple. Gabrielle's shimmering hair spread out over the pillow in a lustrous cascade as she rolled her head from side to side in utter abandon.
Soon Simon knew he could not hold out any longer. He waited until her ragged breathing grew calmer, and moved upwards again to take her mouth in a stirring kiss.
"Now please, Simon," Gabrielle beseeched urgently.
"Yes, now, my love. I'll try to spare you the pain, and then I promise you, it will be so lovely."
"Yes, please, only hurry. I..."
He did not need to be told twice. Already poised against her slick, quivering flesh, he pressed downwards, and with one sure thrust he was inside her. His control slipped as he slid deeper into her tightness.
She was startled, her flesh stretched almost unbearably. Even as the pain sizzled through her, the pulsating pleasure did as well. She arched her hips to meet his with an instinct which caused him to lunge even deeper.
"God, Gabrielle!" he shouted, as he cupped her buttocks and pounded into her, his climax ripping through him.
He trembled from head to toe, and began to grow almost frightened as his pangs seemed to go on forever. He felt her tighten around him. If anything his pleasure increased as she cried out his name and her fingernails dug into his buttocks.
Finally they quietened. Simon felt so drained he lay on top of her for several moments.
"Lord, I'm sorry, I must be crushing you," he murmured.<
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Gabrielle pleaded, "No, ‘tis nothing. Please stay."
"Did I hurt you?" he whispered, as he brushed her tumbled tresses back from her face, and saw the tears glittering on her cheeks.
"No, my love, never."
"But you're crying," Simon insisted, kissing the tears away gently.
"Oh, Simon, it was so wonderful, it was like coming home. I've wanted you so much. Only now it's going to make it worse. How can I ever bear for you to ever be separated from me after knowing such joy?"
The Rakehell Regency Romance Series Boxed Set 6 Page 14