by Kimberly Rae
Though only eight teens had gone on the missions trip, the usual Sunday morning crowd measured strong at over thirty. Fifteen of those had piled into the van for lunch, all eight of the missions group among them, eager to see their Pakistan-trip tour guide.
“Miss Kayla!” Elizabeth announced their presence before Ryan had a chance to suggest he go ahead of them and prepare her at least a little. He hoped she wasn’t in pajamas, wrapped in a blanket, though the memory brought on a full smile.
She was sitting on the swing, sideways, her legs up and covered in the pink blanket, at the moment coughing in her sleeve. Chain-smoker cough, that’s what she had called it. Wasn’t the asthma medication supposed to fix that?
Swinging her legs down, Kayla shakily rose to her feet. Though the sight of fifteen teens, followed by Ryan, must have been rather overwhelming, it still concerned him that she looked so pale. Dark circles made half-moons under her eyes.
She had been doing so well. Maybe she just hadn’t slept well the night before.
An elbow in the ribs nearly knocked him over. “Dude.” Karl was grinning. “You’re totally staring.”
Ryan acknowledged Karl, then his eyes went back to Kayla. Even sick, she was beautiful. How did she do that?
Another elbow knocked against him. “Thanks,” he muttered.
“No problem.” Karl smirked.
“I’m so happy to see you!” Kayla hugged the girls, shook hands with the boys, and smiled toward the seven teens who had not been on the trip. “It was so nice of you to come by.”
“I can’t believe you’ve been here for two whole weeks and not come to see us at church!” Jainey crossed her arms petulantly, but her face held a smile from ear to ear. “I can’t believe you’re here, right in our area!”
“Why didn’t you come this morning?” Joe’s eyebrows were down and together, a sure sign he was digging for real answers.
Ryan intervened. “She hasn’t been feeling well.”
Joe did not take his eyes from Kayla. “But you haven’t been sick every single day since you got back, have you? You could have made it one of the Sundays or Wednesdays.”
Kayla nodded. “Very intuitive, Joe.”
“Intuitive?”
“Smart.” Kayla half-smiled. “Truth is, I’m not really into organized church these days.”
“She doesn’t want to come to church because it’s organized?”
Karl smacked Ryan on the back. “She should come to youth group — it’s totally unorganized!”
“Wait.” Jainey sat on the swing. Kayla sat with her until Jainey started swinging. Then she quickly stood and instead leaned on the wooden post. “You’re saying you’ve got something against church, aren’t you? You don’t want to come.”
“How can a missionary not want to come to church?” Joe asked. “Isn’t that against the rules?”
“Whose rules?”
“I don’t know. Missionary-people’s rules.”
“Hey, what are those spots on your arms?” Karl, naturally, had something non-spiritual to focus on.
Kayla held out her arms. “Weird, aren’t they? My tan from Pakistan faded, except in certain places. I don’t know why.”
Joe stepped closer. “So you not wanting to come to church. What’s up with that?”
Kayla offered a tired smile. She coughed again. “I had some things happen to me that make it hard to be at church. I don’t have anything against God of course, but church right now, well… it’s just hard.”
Elizabeth sat on the swing with Jainey. “But isn’t that what church is for — a place to come when things are hard?”
Kayla coughed again. Ryan wondered if she was avoiding the question, except she did not stop coughing. It continued and worsened, rattling deep in her chest until several of the teens backed away. When she started wheezing, Ryan took charge. “Where’s your inhaler?”
She pointed inside, and Ryan headed through the door, not bothering to knock. Aunt Lavender could have come out in a towel for all he cared. He found Kayla’s room, and, for a moment, stood stock still at the phenomenal amount of lace and knick-knacks lining the walls before he remembered his mission. Searching around first with his eyes, then his hands, he finally found the small instrument on a girly little desk with a mirror, only pausing to notice that the Bible on the desk was opened to a highlighted passage. It was the story of the woman who had spent all her money on doctors and not gotten any better, who was healed by Jesus. Clear, round tearstains on the paper tore at his heart.
He grabbed the inhaler and ran back outside where Kayla was still coughing. He sent an irked glance toward the teens, who all seemed to have fled back toward the van, when Jainey, the only one left in proximity to Kayla, shook her head.
“She sent them all away,” Jainey whispered. “In case she’s contagious.”
His heart turned over.
Kayla tried to use the inhaler between coughs.
“They didn’t want to go,” Jainey added. “They only left after she promised to come to youth group as soon as she was feeling better. Elizabeth even asked her to speak, but she didn’t quite answer that.”
I’ll bet not. Ryan helped Kayla back onto the swing, which edged backward, then forward as they sat. He needed to build some kind of contraption that would make the thing sit still.
“Wait here,” he said, then felt ridiculous. Where was she going to go? “Jainey, would you mind skipping the lunch and hanging out here with us? I could use your help.”
Jainey did not hesitate, even as Kayla started to resist. “Of course.”
Ryan ran to the van and asked Cindy, who had thankfully come along, to go ahead and take the teens to lunch.
“Do you think she’s going to be okay?” Karl asked from the backseat.
“Is she mad at God for making her sick?” Joe wanted to know.
“Are you in love with her?”
Ryan could not even see who that last question came from. “Look, I need to do something here for awhile. Ya’ll go on ahead. Bring me back some pizza, okay? Some for Jainey too.”
Cindy put the van in gear and moved forward, sparing Ryan more questions.
He ran back to the swing, motioning Jainey over. “Jainey, I need to get some tools and build something real quick. Can you keep Miss Kayla company? Keep her mind off how lousy she must be feeling?”
“You really care about her, don’t you?” Jainey’s normally rigid face softened. “You did even back in Pakistan.”
“We can talk about that later, but yes, I do, and yes, I did.”
“Well then, yes, you can go build whatever it is you think is important, and I’ll hang out with her.”
“Thanks.” He ran toward the shed where he’d stored his tools.
****
Jainey returned to the swing. Kayla was breathing well enough now, but the cough had only lessened slightly. “I don’t want you to stay here with me,” she rattled out. “I don’t want you catching something bad.”
“I haven’t been sick since kindergarten.” Jainey waved Kayla’s concern away. “Nobody needs to worry about me.”
“I worry —” Cough. “— about you.” Cough.
“Seems to me you’re the one everybody should be worried about. Ryan said you had a bunch of tests done. Have they found anything out yet?”
“Supposed to hear tomorrow.” Kayla had a round of coughing that left her weak and slumped on the swing. “Jainey, I’m glad you stayed. I need to —”
“I thought you said you wanted me to leave,” Jainey teased.
Kayla smiled, but coughed again. “Can’t — waste — words. I need to tell you, while I can get it out —” Cough. “— about when my mom died.”
“Your mom died? I’m sorry.”
Kayla lifted a hand. “I was about — your age. My life was falling apart. My dad didn’t — he couldn’t help. I started doing the one thing I — could control. I —” Cough. “— stopped eating.”
Jainey sucked in a bre
ath. “Maybe I should go see if Ryan needs help.”
“Please.” Kayla’s voice was weak. “Hear me out.” She rested her head back and closed her eyes. “For awhile it made me — feel better. But it couldn’t — fill the hurt in my heart. So I started eating everything, then throwing up.” Another coughing spell rattled on while Jainey sat at the edge of her seat, hands tight on her thin knees.
“For some reason… I thought if I could get thin enough —” Cough. “— my dad would love me. I would… matter again.”
Jainey stood. “I don’t know why you’re telling me all this. It’s not like I —”
“Please, Jainey.” Kayla stood as well, then doubled over in pain.
“Are you okay?” Jainey’s face went pale. “I’ll call Ryan.”
“No, wait!” Kayla gripped Jainey’s arm with surprising strength. “Even though I finally — got past all that — all I keep thinking as I wait — for my test results — is that somehow by doing all that — I caused whatever this sickness is.”
****
Ryan exited the shed with a long piece of wood and several tools. He looked across the yard to see Jainey frozen like a statue and Kayla swaying unsteadily. He dropped the tools and broke into a run.
“Jainey, you are beautiful. Do you hear me?” He heard Kayla’s voice grow more breathless with each word. “Beautiful. Just… as… you… are.”
Ryan reached them just in time to catch Kayla as she fell. “Hurts, Ryan,” was all he could hear. His heart was tearing apart. “Hurts — to — breathe.”
“I’m no good in a crisis, Kayla,” he said down to her. “I never do the right thing.”
Jainey gave him a hard punch in the arm. “Look at her!”
He looked. He stopped thinking of his own inadequacies and thought only of her.
“Jainey, you’ve got your cell phone, right? Call 9-1-1. Tell them to send an ambulance. Then please go inside and see if Kayla’s aunt is here. No, wait, that will take too long.” He reached in his pocket, holding Kayla with one arm. “Her number is speed dial number seven.”
“You know how to speed dial?” Jainey grabbed his phone. “I thought that was beyond anybody over twenty.”
“Call 9-1-1 first, please.”
Ryan listened as Jainey talked to the emergency operator, but his eyes were on the woman in his arms. The woman he suddenly knew he loved.
Chapter Fifteen
Ryan ran a hand through his hair, pushing back that one annoying patch that kept falling down across his forehead. The Emergency Room waiting area was not large enough for pacing, but he could not be still. He marched from the line of mismatched chairs on the one end of the room to the other end, where a television set hung from the ceiling. Back and forth. Past the kid with the broken finger, then past the man who smelled like a cloud of cigarette smoke.
Another man entered the waiting room, drinking a bottle of something bright green. “First one, huh?”
Ryan looked up, his eyes bloodshot. The man must have taken that for a nod, for he continued. “I remember my first one. Scared to death. I paced for hours, except I was in the room with her.”
“They won’t let me in. I’m not immediate family.”
The man took a swig from his bottle. “Oh.” He sat down and looked away. “Sorry.”
Ryan started his pacing in the opposite direction when the man spoke again. “Why didn’t you just tell them you were her husband? I mean, come on, a man has the right to be there when his first baby is born.”
Ryan stopped pacing. “What?”
The man took another swig. “Oh man, aren’t you the father?”
“The father of who?”
“The baby of course!”
“What baby?”
The man was looking at him the same way Karl did whenever he tried to explain a difficult theological concept. “Look, the woman I love is in there, and I have no idea what is wrong with her, and I’m trying to talk to God about it, and I have no idea what that has to do with a baby, okay?”
“Oh!” The man finished his bottle, aimed for the trash can under the television, and took a shot. He missed. “You were pacing, so I figured your wife was having a baby.”
“She’s not my wife.”
“Yeah, I got that. Anyway, good luck.”
“With what?” Ryan’s head was swimming.
“With… whatever.” The stranger shook his head and left the waiting room, leaving behind his littered bottle.
It was a relief when Laverne Bloom and Jainey rushed into the room.
“How is she?” Laverne Bloom was puffing from the exertion. Jainey held her arm. “Have they told you anything yet?”
Jainey did not give him a chance to answer. “Why are you out here? Why aren’t you in there with her?”
Ryan focused on Miss Bloom first. She appeared older than he had ever seen her. “I don’t know how she is. They won’t tell me anything.” Then he looked at Jainey. “And they won’t let me in because I’m not immediate family. And I’m not the father of the first baby either,” he finished at a mutter to himself.
“What?” both females nearly shouted.
“Nothing.”
Laverne Bloom had caught her breath. “Well, this situation needs to be rectified immediately.” Somehow she exuded grace and dignity as she quickly approached the information desk. “My great-niece was just brought in here, in dire circumstances. I wish to see her immediately, and I wish these two young people to accompany me.”
“We can let you in, ma’am, but no one else who isn’t immediate family.” The woman’s voice was a drone of repeated boredom.
Laverne Bloom leaned far over the counter until she was inches from the surprised woman’s face. “Dear, what if I told you that this young man —” she pointed a long, angular finger toward Ryan. “What if I told you he has intentions of becoming immediate family?”
The woman looked over at Ryan skeptically. He had the sudden urge to shrug his shoulders and smile, like a kid standing in the hallway when the principal opens the door to his office. When he noticed Jainey also looking his way, her face one huge smile, he had a new urge to make a run for it. Only his intense desire to see for himself if Kayla was all right kept him rooted to his position in the middle of the waiting room.
“Dear.” Laverne tapped on the counter. “I write romance novels for a living.” She lowered her voice to a theatrical whisper. “I know these sorts of things.”
The receptionist sighed. “Okay, he can go in. But the girl has to wait in the lobby. Unless she plans to get adopted by the new couple?”
Laverne Bloom waved a hand. “That would be extremely improbable, now wouldn’t it? I would never write that into one of my books.”
She then swept away from the desk and slipped an arm through Ryan’s. “Let’s go find Kayla.” She turned back to Jainey. “Will you be alright here for awhile, honey?”
“Yes, ma’am.” Jainey held up her tablet. “No problem.”
Laverne smiled and turned toward the door. “Why was she waiving that gadget at me?” she asked Ryan.
“It’s a tablet,” Ryan answered. “And what was all that back at the desk, Miss Bloom?”
“Well, don’t tell me you haven’t thought about the possibility.” She patted his arm as they walked through the doors to the ER rooms. “And please call me Lavender, or Aunt Lavender if you’d rather. Miss Bloom sounds nearly as awful as Laverne.”
The doors closed behind them. “And what is a tablet, dear?”
****
Kayla woke in intense pain. She breathed in, then stopped. Fierce lightning bolts shot down her side. She tried to hold her breath as long as possible, but had to take in air eventually. As if she was hyperventilating, she took short, quick breaths, each one painful.
Where was she? She looked around, trying to focus on something, anything other than the pain. A hospital room. When did she come to the hospital? The last thing she remembered was trying to tell Jainey about the eating
disorder she had suffered after her mother had died. Had she finished her story? Had Jainey responded?
As the door creaked open and Ryan’s face appeared, Kayla felt the tears fill her eyes. When her aunt followed, the tears slipped out.
“I’m — so — glad — you’re — here.” She did not know if her words were more for Aunt Lavender or for Ryan. “What — happened?” Each word took such effort. Every breath hurt so much. “Why — am — I — here?”
Aunt Lavender was at her side, patting her hand and speaking in soothing tones, but Kayla’s eyes were focused on Ryan’s face. His mouth was set in a hard line, and his eyes mirrored the pain she felt. “Can — you — make — them — stop — the — pain?”
“Where is the doctor?” Laverne Bloom was saying. “Why hasn’t someone done something?”
She whisked from the room with the grandeur of a duchess, calling to the first nurse in view. “Excuse me, why has this child not been seen by a doctor yet? She is in dire straits. That is why we are in the Emergency Room. It is an emergency!”
Ryan had not budged from the doorway, where he had frozen the moment their eyes met. Kayla could not move, except for the quick, shallow breaths that hurt more than anything had ever hurt in her life. She kept her eyes locked on his, somehow leaning on the strength in his gaze, until a white-coated man appeared.
“I apologize for the wait,” he stated as calmly as possible with Aunt Lavender on his heels, practically pushing him into the room. “We have had a busy afternoon. The ER is completely full.”
“Yes,” Aunt Lavender acknowledged. “But, as you can see, this girl is in great pain.”
Ryan shifted and the doctor passed by him, but his eyes did not leave Kayla’s.
The doctor mixed a solution in a syringe and placed the needle into Kayla’s flesh. Kayla watched Ryan wince. She wanted to tell him the prick was nothing compared to the pain in her left side.