Given what I knew of her fighting prowess from Ava, I doubted Udo would need to protect her. It might be the other way around.
Damaris continued, addressing a look of concern Udo wore. “We’ll catch up with Tyrus after dinner. He won’t start reviewing what we learned with others without you,” said Damaris.
I gave her an odd look. “What exactly are you going check on?”
“Nothing of importance for now.”
She gave me a smile, turned, and left.
Udo looked at me helplessly, but I felt just as bewildered. He followed her after a few seconds, leaving me and Ira to stare after them.
“What in Prax’s balls was that about?” he asked.
“Gods if I know,” I said. “Let’s get going.”
We didn’t ride long before I decided to take advantage of the opportunity I had with Ira. It wasn’t often that he and I could just chew the fat without anyone else around.
“So what do you think about all this?” I asked with a gesture.
“A lot of dirt, but you’ll make it into something worthwhile I’m sure.”
“What do you think about being part of this?”
He started in the saddle. “You mean farming?”
“Yeah. I know you had some experience as a kid.”
“Sure, me and Dek helped the old man out, but I wasn’t very good at it. Just a strong back. Dek had a talent for it, though.” He snorted. “Not sure if there was much he didn’t have a talent for when I think about it.”
“He was one of a kind.”
“Used to piss me off when we were kids. At the same time, I was proud he was my brother too.” He paused. “Never told him that though.”
“I’ve no doubt he knew.”
“Probably. He seemed to know everything else. Still wish I would have said the words, you know?”
“I do. Anything else you wished you could have told him?” I asked, wondering if he needed to get anything off his chest.
“Gods-be-damned. Lots of things, Ty. Lots of things.”
I grunted, knowing Ira well enough not to pry too much. He and Reuma had grown closer after Dekar’s death. I hoped he had vocalized some of those things to her. I just wanted to give him a chance to say them to me if he felt he needed to. But based on his tone, I suspected Dekar wasn’t the only thing that weighed on him.
After a few minutes of silence, I changed the subject back to the present. “So, the fields . . . I could use your help.”
“I told you I don’t have much of a talent for it.”
“I don’t need your help in coaxing a seed to life. I need your ability to motivate others. And since you mentioned it, that strong back of yours won’t hurt either.”
He shook his head and laughed. “You’re really serious?”
“I am. It’ll be good to have you out here with me. You’re the best friend I’ve got, you know.”
He chuckled. “Xank’s balls, Ty. Setting sun, us on horseback, and you’re getting all emotional on me.”
I smiled, but didn’t encourage him further. What I was about to say wasn’t easy for me to discuss. Still, when else would there be a better time for us to talk freely about what I had noticed earlier?
I briefly thought of the irony. I was only considering sharing my struggles because I worried about his. Ava would have had a fit at my reasoning, but at the same time she’d probably be just as happy that something finally got me talking.
Gods, I missed her.
I cleared my throat. “Also figured it would do you some good not to be thinking about war and battle, and all the other garbage that goes with it. Working the land might be a good way to keep your head clear.”
He eased his mount to a halt and gave me a look. “What are you getting at?”
“Earlier. When we were talking about towers and walls, you remembered something, didn’t you? Something bad. Something ugly. Something you wish you could forget.”
His face twisted. “Yeah,” he whispered.
“How long has that been going on?”
“Not long. A couple weeks. Started as just an occasional dream at night. Don’t know why it’s affecting me now.” He gave a brief shake of his head. “How’d you know?”
“Got my own struggles, remember?”
He hung his head. “Been feeling bad about that, too. Told Ava I’d keep an eye on you, but I haven’t been able to do much on account of my own mess. Worried how I’d react or that the discussion would focus on me instead of you.”
“So what if it does? No reason for things to start eating at you too.” I paused. “Have you told Reuma?”
“No. I don’t want her to worry.”
“And now you know why I wasn’t in a rush to tell anyone else myself. But . . .”
Ira cocked his head, patiently waiting for me to collect my thoughts. Admitting weakness was not exactly encouraged in the military. A soldier needed to be strong, confident, certain, and unwavering. A commander even more so. After over ten years of that life, it was hard for me to break out of that line of reasoning.
I swallowed. “Maybe Ava was right and you and I can help each other get through this mess together. What do you think?”
“I’d like that Ty. Got any ideas on how?”
I let out a tired chuckle. “Nope.”
He clicked his tongue. “Me either. I guess this is as good of a start as any though. I need to understand more about what’s going on in my head before I talk to Reuma anyway.”
“Possibly. Though if Dekar were here, he’d say that no one could understand what’s going on in your head.”
Some might have thought the joke was ill timed, but they didn’t know Ira. He cracked a grin. “Likely so. It’d be good to have him with us. The three of us made a pretty good team for a while there.”
“We did.”
I clicked my reins and moved toward Kasala as the sun continued to drop.
“So where do we go from here?” he asked.
“Find more time to talk about what haunts us.”
“Didn’t you suggest just a few minutes ago that I avoid things that reminded me of war?”
“I did, but this time we bring it up on our terms. Confront those memories, grab them by the balls, and take control.”
“Sounds reasonable. But Ty?”
“Yeah.”
“You mind going first?”
“Now?”
I had hoped to have some time to ready myself for such a conversation. To decide privately which memory I’d share and which details I’d carefully discuss. Opening up so suddenly had me worried I’d spill something I wasn’t ready to address.
“We’re alone and won’t be back in town for a bit. The sooner we get started the better, right?”
He was right of course. But, I really didn’t want to be the first to go. I’d preferred to hear someone else’s nightmares than try to explain my own.
I licked my lips. “So I’ve been dealing with this for a while, but there’s one memory in particular that stands out. It doesn’t come upon me too much since we destroyed the artifact, but it was the main one that hounded me on our way to Hol. Remember early on when we had to sneak into that Geneshan camp in order to take out a large group of D’engiti? I had you and the others act as distractions while I went to place a destruction globe near their tent?”
“You mean the one where Hamath found you buried in a latrine?”
“That’s the one.”
“Yeah, I remember.”
“So, the dream often begins with me crawling through that filth, every smell working its way through my nostrils and under my skin until . . .”
It was a strange experience relating that memory to someone. I hadn’t spoken of it aloud since reporting it to Balak all those years ago. Even then, my recounting had been short and
concise, facts only. This time it was about emotions, my mental state, my physical pain, and all the other things Balak had no interest in.
Ira listened intently. Even when I paused to collect myself, he didn’t try to fill the space.
When I nodded I was done, he said. “I’m not really sure what to say other than to curse Prax’s sweaty crack for putting you through it all.”
“Not sure if there is anything you can say. Maybe we just need to get our stories out in the open.” I smiled. “But, cursing Prax’s sweaty crack is more than fine by me.”
He laughed, and I was surprised at how much better I felt. I knew one conversation wasn’t a cure to all that haunted me, but it was progress.
“I guess it’s my turn?” he said as we reentered Kasala. “Not sure if I can really get into it with what little time we have.”
“Then don’t push it. Before bed, meet me at the south entrance. We’ll take a walk and talk more then.”
“I’ll be there.”
The comfort in that certainty strengthened me.
CHAPTER 15
When reentering town, the changes after just one day made me wonder if we would meet the terms of our charter sooner than I imagined. Progress had been swift. The streets were free of trash and several homes had already begun extensive repair work.
Of course, just meeting the terms wasn’t good enough for me. We needed to thrive. For my kids’ sake and for Lasha’s memory.
“Thought more people would be cooking in their homes,” I said, gesturing down a side road I knew was inhabited, yet void of life at the moment.
“I’m sure there’ll be more of that as time goes on,” said Ira. “But old habits are hard to break. People got used to having their meals together.”
If people still preferred to have meals in larger groups over the comfort of their immediate families, it meant that when hard times struck us again, we’d be more inclined to rally around our neighbors than pass blame to others. It made me hopeful for the future.
With the side streets empty, a packed main road did not surprise me. However, the sudden cheer that followed after someone spotted us was not expected. I heard my name shouted above the celebration.
The noise spooked our mounts, but we quickly got them under control. The continuing roars struck a chord somewhere in the depths of my mind. It brought forth the chaos of battle.
I broke out into a sweat, perspiration dripping down my spine. A shiver followed, spurring a quickening in my heartbeat. A strong hand latched onto my arm causing me to jerk toward it. Instinctively, my other hand reached for the blade at my waist. I stopped myself short of grabbing the hilt when I met Ira’s eyes.
He said low, “It’s all right, Ty. We’re safe.”
After gathering myself, I tried to make light of the situation. “I guess it will take more than one story to set things right.”
“Nothing’s ever easy,” he answered.
Nason approached, looking bashful. “Sorry for scaring you and the horses. I tried to tell everyone that surprises weren’t really your thing, but they insisted.”
“What are you talking about?” I asked while shaking away the last of my haziness.
“It’s official now. You’re Kasala’s mayor.”
“What?”
I knew others had talked about giving me the title, but the news still came as a bit of a shock.
“With you focused on other things, a few people decided to hold an election. They asked me to manage the voting process. It didn’t take long. Less than an hour from start to finish. Almost unanimous. And those that ran against you did so not by choice, but because they were nominated to keep some semblance of fairness to the process. Congratulations.”
Congratulations? Funny, but calling me mayor didn’t feel like something to celebrate. Leading a squad on a mission, the group from Denu Creek to safety, Balak’s army to Hol, and even this group south had all served a purpose in my mind, getting me one step closer to a normal life with my family. I wasn’t sure if serving as mayor would get me there.
But what other option did I have? Say no? I couldn’t do that. I was determined to see Kasala a success, and frankly, I trusted no one else to guide us through the short term.
Ira let out a sigh and slapped me on the back. “Same old, Ty,” as if knowing my thoughts. “It’s just a gods-be-damned title. Quit fretting about it.”
Nason frowned at Ira’s comment while casting me a curious glance. I didn’t elaborate, but I bobbed my head in acknowledgement. In the grand scheme of things, little had changed with the announcement. I was still in charge just as before. The only difference was that I guess going forward, I would be acting in an official capacity. I really had to learn to stop finding ways to pile on the stress that already weighed me down.
“So now what?” I asked Nason, genuinely unsure.
Even in my pessimistic mind where I thought of every bad or good scenario that could potentially befall me, never did I imagine myself elected to public office.
“I suggest you make a speech and shake a few hands,” said Nason. “That’s usually what mayors do.”
I looked out to the quieting crowd as they watched us, anxiously waiting my response. Of course, nothing inspiring or memorable came to mind.
Eventually, I managed, “Thank you for continuing to believe in me. And for trusting me. I promise I’ll always give you my best.”
I guess people didn’t expect much at the moment. Or, they were just caught up in the excitement as applause erupted once more. I took that opportunity to dismount and hand Ira my reins. He led our mounts to the stable while I followed through with Nason’s other suggestion.
It took the better part of an hour to go through the process. By the end, my head was spinning. I tried to get away so I could eat and take care of some chores before calling it a night.
“C’mon, Mayor. Let loose for just one night!” came a shout at my back.
I turned, ready to give a short answer, but someone else cut in before I could.
“Tyrus doesn’t let loose. Ain’t that why we elected him mayor?”
The crowd laughed. I laughed with them even as a sadness hit me for the truth in that comment. I rarely allowed myself any down time, and when I did, guilt hit me for doing so.
When the laughter died, I called, “I guess everyone will just have to pick up my slack tonight!”
Another cheer sounded. Within minutes, it looked like the celebration of the previous night would repeat itself. I quickly grabbed my dinner and settled in next to Damaris and Udo away from most of the activity. Then one-by-one, I began receiving updates on our progress while eating.
Saba and Teyman reported that repairs on the forges and tools had gone well. They expected to be operational within the next couple of days. Apprentices had been acquired and were already working. Additional potential apprentices were identified.
I loved working with people who took a task and made it their own.
Boaz, Dinah, and Zadok presented their progress.
As Boaz spoke, I caught the look Dinah gave him as he went through his notes. It was one of both approval and pride. I warmed at their show of love, then felt a twinge of jealousy. I missed those same looks from Lasha. Perhaps if I did right by Kasala, I could imagine her giving me a similar look from the beyond, wherever that might be.
“Most of the animals were in good shape. The goats, however, were not eating much, losing weight, and not producing any milk.”
I leaned in and whispered to Abigail if she knew why.
She shrugged. “They just keep saying their stomachs hurt.”
“Gas?”
“I thought that too,” said Boaz. “We tried some things I thought might help, but none worked.”
I looked over his shoulder and searched the crowd. Spotting my target, I said, “Zadok, go gra
b Vered.”
“Sure, Pa.”
After he left, I looked back to Boaz. “Tell me more about the repairs to the structures.”
“We’re mostly good on supplies, but I need more men to help me. It’s too much for me and Zadok.”
“How many you need?”
“At least eight.”
“Pick a dozen. I’d rather you focus on the care of the animals than carpentry. Try to select some you think might be willing to stay on and lend a hand after the repairs are done. There’s way too much for you and your family to do alone.”
He bobbed his head. “The outermost pens need repairs. I am short on posts for those.”
“How soon will we need the pens?”
“Not a priority yet, but if there’s a need to better separate animals due to an illness, we’ll be in trouble without them.”
“I need to see what Myra and Reuma come up with before I start allocating any of our current resources. I don’t want to go back to Batna yet to purchase more.” I paused. “It might make sense to strip some of the structures on the northern side of town for wood first.”
Zadok returned with Vered, a tall man, lanky in every way he moved. He wore his clothes too tightly for my tastes, which gave him an even thinner appearance. With the most knowledge of herbs and medicine, he had been taking inventory at the old apothecary.
“Do you have anything that would help with fierce stomach pains and suppressed appetites?”
He puffed his boney chest out. “Actually, I have several things that would solve that issue.”
“Then you’re my man. I’d like you to get with Boaz. He’s got some sick goats that need tending to.’
“Goats?” Vered bristled. “I don’t want to waste my herbs on goats. What if a person needs them later?”
“I hear you, but we’ll handle that problem then. We have a problem with goats now.”
“I don’t know if the herbs will work in the same way on them though.”
“Only one way to find out. If they don’t, maybe bring the matter up to Yehoash, and you two tackle the problem together.”
Yehoash was our designated physician. He hadn’t finished his apprenticeship before coming with us, but he had more training than anyone else.
Forever Soldiers: The Tyrus Chronicle - Book Four Page 11