"I know you were," she said, voice cracking with emotion. "I didn't mean to freak out so much, but the second you brought it up, it's like it triggered a reaction inside of me." She let her face fall forward onto the table, sniffling. "I'm so fucked up, Jack."
I slid an arm under her knees and gently lifted her from the chair. "No you aren't," I murmured, carrying her to the bed and laying her on it. I climbed on beside her and pulled her against me, cradling her in my arms and murmuring reassurances into the crown of her head. "You've been through a traumatic experience, and sometimes it takes a while to recover. I don't blame you."
She sniffed and buried her head into my chest, blowing hot breaths against my t-shirt.
"Did they really say they liked my work?" she asked in a small voice.
I chuckled. "Yes. And I wish you wouldn't be so surprised. You're a talented artist."
"I'm not an artist. I just scribble things sometimes."
"But they're good scribbles."
"Good for a bartender, maybe, but not good enough to actually do anything with."
I sighed. "Baby, this is the attitude I'm talking about. You're talented, and I wish you understood that in the same way everyone else does."
Melissa shifted in my arms until she was looking up at me. The blue of her irises stood out vibrantly against her tearstained, pink eyes. I brushed a strand of hair from her face and leaned down to kiss her, unable to resist the call of those perfect, pouty lips. They tasted of salt from her tears and of that sweetness that was undeniably hers.
I pulled away, happy to see I'd left a small smile behind on her lips.
"Thank you for believing in me," she said. "I don't think I've ever said that to anyone before."
"The only thanks I will accept is for you to start believing in yourself. Will you please consider doing something with your art? I don't care if you just start scribbling on the walls, I just hate to think you're too afraid to pursue something that could be a real passion for you."
"I'll think about it," she agreed.
"Good." I pecked the tip of her nose.
Melissa giggled. "That goes for you too, you know."
I cocked a questioning brow. "I don't know. What do you mean?"
"The whole believing in yourself thing," she elucidated. "You're smart and talented. You could be anything you want in life, but you seem determined never to move forward as long as you can get by doing what you're doing."
I hadn't thought about this much, so it was surprising to hear it from somebody else. True, I hadn't pressed myself to succeed, but I'd been so busy taking care of my mom, then my sister, that it just never seemed like a priority. I still wasn't sure it was.
Like she'd read my mind, Melissa started offering up suggestions.
"You could go back to school for your GED, maybe even start picking up some skills and see what works for you," she said. "You're capable of anything, you just need to prove that to other people."
"Thanks, baby." I kissed her again. "You're right. It doesn't have to be anything crazy all at once."
"Exactly. We can both move forward one baby step at a time."
"I guess I'm so used to living in the moment that I didn't think too much about it," I mused. “When my mom got sick, the future became a scary and uncertain place. It was better just to deal with the problems I had in the present and leave everything else for later. I'm out of touch when it comes to planning ahead."
Melissa pushed me onto my back, shimmying up my chest until she was lying directly on top of me. I liked the feeling of her weight there, and I especially liked the feeling of her tits squished against my sternum.
"I have a confession to make." She smiled. "I've been saving to get out of Cannon for a couple weeks now."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah."
"That's good. Gold star for planning ahead." I leaned up and nibbled playfully on her nose.
"I'm telling you because..." She looked down bashfully, and when her gaze found mine again, I got lost in the sea of her eyes. "Would you want to save with me? And maybe we could get out of Cannon...together?"
It's hard to describe the feeling that burst in my chest the moment she said those words. I was warm and fuzzy and all those other stupid emotional descriptors, but I was more than that.
For the first time in my life, I felt whole.
Chapter 24
Jack
It was a rowdy Friday night in Cannon, not that I was out experiencing it. I was sitting quietly on the couch, scrolling through the internet on my phone as I learned more about going back to school for my GED. The process didn't seem too complicated, and soon enough I could have a complete education and move onto gaining more specialized skills. And from there? Who the fuck knew, maybe even the world.
Another drunk passed by the motel, hooting and hollering with his friends. The high school had just won a big football game. Or maybe this weekend was that country music festival... Didn't matter. I only hoped it wasn't too crazy at the Alibi, where Melissa was currently slinging drinks. Now that we'd started saving money together, working had become less of a chore. It wasn't ideal that our schedules were so opposite, with me working in the day and her working mostly afternoons and evenings, but at least we were working toward something together.
Our savings were adding up slowly but surely and, even though we were still living in a motel, we were happy. Fuck, I'd never been so happy. The only thing that could've made it better was if I got to share this experience with my mom and sister too, but at least I could still talk to Sadie whenever I wanted to.
My phone interrupted my reverie, blaring out the ringtone I used especially for Neil. Given the hour and the fact that it was Friday, I got a bad feeling in my stomach.
"Hey," I answered.
"Hey Jack," Neil said with a sigh. "Can you come down to the site? There's been more vandalism."
I sat up straight, frowning. "Are you shitting me? Is that normal?"
Neil let out a caustic laugh. "I've been working this area for the last twenty odd years, and I've never had a site vandalized more than once, and never this destructively. So it goes though, I'm afraid. So can you get down here?"
"Yeah." I rubbed my eyes and checked the time. Melissa wasn't due home for another four hours or so, and I had nothing better to do.
"Melissa's got the car. Can you come get me?"
Neil picked me up in his truck a little while later, looking just as grim as I felt.
"Sorry to call you out on a Friday night," he said when I got in the cab. "The other guys have all started drinking already, and I can't just leave it. The customer would have a shit fit if they came down this weekend and saw the state of the place."
"What'd they do?"
He stared straight ahead at the road, though I saw his jaw tick. "You'll see."
We drove in silence the rest of the way. When he pulled into the driveway of the most recent house we'd been working on I understood why he might've found it awkward to tell me.
OUTSIDER TRASH was spray-painted across the garage door in bright red paint. The door had been kicked in several places too, dented probably beyond repair. I swore under my breath and walked up to get a closer look.
"Is this everything?" I asked.
Neil stepped up beside me, shaking his head. "This is the worst of it, but they fuckin' TP'd some of the other houses again."
We got to work painting over the garage door and cleaning up all the garbage. We were both tired from a long day of work, so it was a slow process, but eventually we got it back to almost the way it was before. Neil was going to have another look at the garage door on Monday and see if we needed to get it replaced, but at least we covered up the hateful message.
Outsider trash...
I wondered why Neil hadn't mentioned yet that the message was obviously directed at me. Maybe it hadn't crossed his mind. It was the first thing that crossed my mind though, as well as a list of potential suspects. Not that I needed a list to know that
whoever committed the act was either Donnie or somebody doing Donnie's work for him. They must have been behind the last incident, too. It wasn't like I could prove that, though, unless I somehow got him to implicate himself. That was the most frustrating aspect of the whole thing.
A couple hours later, I hopped back into Neil's truck for the ride home. He'd been suspiciously silent while we cleaned, and the air in the cab was tense. I chalked it up to the stress of the night, but Neil soon proved me wrong.
"It's unfortunate," Neil said. "Really, really unfortunate." He sighed and glanced over at me with a solemn expression. "I'm sorry, Jack, but I gotta let you go. I'll pay you for tonight's work of course, but I can't keep you around any longer."
I already knew why.
"Because I'm the target of the vandalism?"
He grunted in acknowledgment. "Yup. I know it ain't your fault, but I can't afford to have my job site continually vandalized. You've been a great worker, and I think you've got a real future ahead of you in carpentry if you apply yourself."
I stared out the window, grinding my molars as I struggled to keep my heart rate calm and steady. I wanted to go out and beat the living daylights out of something. No, not something. Someone. And someone in particular.
"You know it was Donnie, right?" I asked.
Neil shrugged. "I don't know nothing for certain. I'd say it's a good possibility though, since that boy certainly has it out for you."
He pulled up in front of the motel with an apologetic look.
I didn't feel much like reassuring him that all would be well since I was fucking furious, but I managed a quick, "It's okay. I understand. I don't blame you."
And I didn't blame him. Letting me go was the smartest choice for Neil's business, and I couldn't fault him for that. Donnie, on the other hand, I blamed the fuck out of him. The problem was there wasn't much I could do to retaliate if anything. Melissa wanted me to stay away from Donnie, both because she didn't trust him not to take things too far and because she didn't want to lose her job, and I intended to respect that wish. I just wished myself that Donnie wouldn't make it so hard to not beat his face in.
"You're gonna do great, Jack," Neil said. "Put me down as a reference, and I'll make sure to talk you up to high heavens."
"Thanks." I forced a smile. "For everything. I've learned a lot from you, and I appreciate you taking a chance on me."
He tipped his head in reply, and I got out of the truck, storming toward the door of the room without looking back. The moment I heard Neil pull back onto the street, another idea took me. I needed to see Melissa. I could run over to the Alibi and grab a couple of drinks and something to eat, and maybe that would be enough to keep me from tearing my hair out in frustration. I wouldn't tell her about getting fired just yet, but I didn't know if I could handle another minute without seeing her pretty, smiling face.
The bar was unusually crowded, though I managed to get a table in the far back corner. It wobbled on one of its legs but that didn't bother me, and soon I had an ice-cold beer in front of me and a pretty little brunette to go with it.
"I didn't expect to see you tonight," said Melissa, leaning over to press a chaste kiss on my lips. "I'm glad you came in."
"Just wanted to see you."
Her eyes lit up. I would never get over seeing her smile.
"Anything else I can get you? You look..." She looked me up and down. "You look a bit dirty, babe. What've you gotten up to tonight?"
I probably should have taken a shower before I came down here, but the thought hadn't even occurred to me.
"More vandalism at the job site. And it was hungry work. Can you put me down for a double cheeseburger and fries?"
"I'll even throw on an extra pickle or two for you, my hard working man." She tossed me another smile over her shoulder as she strutted off, hips swaying deliciously. Her ass was so fucking biteable. Even if I was frustrated as fuck, I still had my girl.
Now that I was sitting down, it was time to think about what I was going to do next. I wanted to have a backup plan when I told Melissa what happened because I didn't want her to worry. I could tell how much getting out of Cannon meant to her, and without work, I was going to be a drain on our savings rather than a contributor.
I didn't care all that much about getting out of Cannon. I wanted to leave this shithole, don't get me wrong, but I didn't have a lifetime of baggage associated with it. I wanted to find somewhere I could happily call a home but I could wait for that as long as I had her. But somewhere along the line, her dreams had become mine, and I couldn't stand to be the one who threw a wrench into those plans.
I went out for a smoke after finishing my burger and beer. The nicotine entered my system like a soothing balm, almost as soothing as that first look at Melissa tonight had been.
Briiing.
I dug my phone out of my pocket, half wondering if maybe Neil had changed his mind. Roddy's name came over the screen instead, and I rolled my eyes but answered.
"Hello?"
"Hey, big guy. How's life treating you?"
"What do you want, Roddy?"
"I just thought I'd call and check in, see how my favorite fighter is doing. I've got an offer that I know you're not going to be able to pass up," he said.
The smoke curled in front of my eyes, and I blew on it. "You've got two minutes. Go ahead."
I should've told him to fuck off, just like I had the last time we spoke. I already told him I was done with fighting, so who the fuck did he think he was calling me with another fight? Unfortunately, he caught me in a tight spot. I didn't want to think about how Melissa would react if I took this offer of a fight, so I chose not to think about it and just listened.
"Alright, so I've got this guy, real nasty piece of work. He's been in jail a few times, and it's undecided whether he's killed a guy or not. Nobody else wants to fight him. I don't know if you can beat him, but you don't have to. Four grand for the fight, win or lose."
Four grand just to tousle with this guy for a few minutes? That was a lot of money. Sure, he could be the scariest fucker out there, and I could get the ever-living shit beat of me, but at the end of the day, I'd walk out of there with enough cash to finally get Mel and me out of this dump of a town.
"I'll think about it," I said after a pause.
“Yeah, of course man, of course. Uh, only thing is I need to know pretty qui—“
“I said I’ll think about it, Roddy. Don’t push your luck.”
I hung up and let my head fall back against the brick.
Chapter 25
Melissa
Because the of the high school's big win, the whole town was out and ready to party, which meant the Alibi's atmosphere was charged like an electric eel. It was just another one of the things I hated about small towns. None of these people gave a crap about the kids on the field, they just didn't have anything better to do with their time, and they wanted an excuse to drink. I supposed it wasn't hurting anybody and made the whole idea of living somewhere so small more bearable, but it frustrated me all the same. Nobody cared that there were more exciting things out there in the world. Nobody even thought to look. All this made some people happy, but it wasn't even close to being enough for me.
I was happy when Jack came in for some food, even if he did seem a little troubled. He was trying to put on a front, I just wasn't sure to what end. Was he just stressed? Tired? Or was there something else going on?
He left without mentioning what had him so upset, and I didn't have time to ask, so I figured we would talk about it later. I spent most of my shift run off my feet with drink orders, and only finally got a chance to slow down in the last hour or so. Once I reached a point where everyone's drinks were full, and nobody was waving me down, I indulged in a little relaxation activity.
That's what drawing had always been for me. It was a way for me to figure out the world around me like I was etching my thoughts onto the paper. It was the best way for me to unwind too, which was probably
why I'd gotten so good at it over the years. Not that I was a professional, by any means.
I had to admit that Jack's little plan worked. I was finally becoming comfortable with the idea of being an artist, and it felt good. Painting had become my new obsession, and I'd used up nearly all of Jack's gift.
I didn't have my sketchbook with me, so I just grabbed a pen and a cocktail napkin to doodle on. It started out as just a few chaotic lines, but I layered stroke after stroke until Jack's handsome face became recognizable.
Around then was when Donnie and his three musketeers walked through the door.
It was normal for him to come into the bar so late, and at first, I didn't even glance up. I'd gotten used to Donnie's presence when I was working. So far we'd barely spoken, save to exchange a few barbed comments here and there when he thought nobody else could hear him. I even thought that we might be able to spend the rest of my time here in peace.
Then Donnie sauntered up to the bar with the sneer that he always wore when he saw me drawing. It churned up all the old feelings that I'd been doing a piss poor job of sorting through on my own. Talking things out with Jack had helped, but Jack wasn't here now. Anxiety clawed up my throat. My hand longed to cover the drawing, but I refused to appear embarrassed by something that mattered so much to me. Not anymore.
"You know the great thing about drawing on cocktail napkins?" Donnie asked.
His friends flanked him, waiting eagerly to hear my response.
"Hello boys," I greeted with false enthusiasm. "Can I get you something to drink?"
"The great thing about drawing on cocktail napkins," Donnie continued, even though I didn't want to hear it, "is that you can still use them afterward."
He snatched the napkin up before I could do anything and blew his nose, loudly and dramatically, before scrunching it into a ball and tossing it onto the bar top.
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