“I think the problem is that your mind is somewhere else,” she observed, sitting up on her knees. “Is it because you’re still hung up on this?” She pointed to her wedding ring with a cutting grin on her face.
“Yeah, I don’t think that’s what it is,” he shrugged, looking regretfully at her adorned finger. He was hung up on something else.
“What can I do?” she smirked, leaning down to kiss him. Her mouth landed on his, desperate to pull him out of his funk.
He kissed her back but his heart wasn’t in it, and it was uncomfortably clear to both of them. He thought that fucking someone, anyone, would make him forget everything. Instead, it painfully reminded him of what he really wanted. His flaccid penis was simply mocking his self-serving posturing.
Fuck it pissed him off when Mimi called out his hypocrisy. Maybe she was right about him. He had been judging Arran for the same shit he’d been doing himself and the truth was, neither of them fucking deserved her. He was proving that right now, lying in a cheap motel room with a woman that knew fuck all about loyalty.
He pulled away from Maggie’s kiss, placing his hand gently on her chest, easing her off of him. She glared at him, her brows knit in frustration.
“This was a mistake,” he muttered, “let’s call it a night.” He sat up slowly, awkwardly yanking up his pants.
“You’re kidding, right?” she spat, readjusting her shirt. “You’re the one who texted me, Luke. I lied to my fucking husband to be here with you. He thinks I took my sister to the hospital. Do you have any idea the risk I took just to be with you? You’re being so fucking selfish!”
“I’m sorry,” he replied flatly, considering the irony of her accusation. Sadly, the fact that he wasn’t the only hypocrite in the room didn’t make him feel any better.
“Jesus Christ,” she fumed, sliding off the bed. She grabbed her purse off the nightstand rooting for her keys. “I thought you were cool with this, Luke.”
He looked at her emotionless, his jaw clamped tightly shut. She shook her head at him in disbelief, tucking her purse tightly under her arm.
“When did you become such a fucking dick?”
“I’ve always been a dick, Maggie. Maybe I want that to change,” he admitted remorsefully.
“Yeah? Well good luck with that!” she spat, walking towards the door. “And lose my number, asshole.”
She walked out without looking back, slamming the door behind her.
Luke rolled over and grabbed his phone off the table, grateful for the solitude. In spite of telling Mimi not to contact him, he wanted nothing more than to see a text from her. Anything, even if it was just to bitch him out. His phone showed no new notifications but he checked anyway, scrolling down to find her name. He inhaled deeply, reading over her last text to him, one just before their fight. She had told him to ‘drive safe’. He wished he could take back everything he’d said to her, and wondered if she was as miserable as he was.
They’d only argued a few times during their friendship but had always managed to work through it. The worst one, until now, had been when she told him she was marrying Andrew. He was completely opposed to it, of course. It was all too fast. He hadn’t seen her in months, both of them studying at different schools and throwing themselves into college life. She’d told him that she met someone, but he just assumed it would be a casual college fling, a fuck buddy to keep her bed warm and her libido satisfied. She wasn’t supposed to marry the fucking guy. When he finally met Andrew, he disliked him instantly. The guy was a pretentious piece of shit and, for the life of him, he couldn’t see what Mimi saw in him. He treated her like a possession, like she was a prized poodle instead of a partner, and he kept her on a very tight leash.
Luke tried to warn her, but did so with the tact of a twenty-one-year-old boy with absolutely no sensitivity training. Needless to say, she didn’t appreciate his advice. They parted, still livid with each other, both of them self-righteously stubborn. He wasn’t surprised that his wedding invitation never arrived, but six months later he found himself missing her terribly so he sucked up his pride and called her. They met for drinks, and although she feigned happiness, assuring him that she was a blushing bride, he could sense her despair. It would have been indiscernible to others but he knew her better than anyone. She unloaded on him that night, sharing her worries, trying to sort through it all. He realized there and then that she needed him just as much as he needed her, and that friendship was a whole lot better than nothing.
And it had always been enough for him. He didn’t need to seek out emotional intimacy with other women, he had Mimi. She made sure he opened up when things were tough, to talk about his crap. She made him feel safe because there was no hidden agenda, no judgment, no expectation. She was his emotional caretaker, gently weeding and watering his garden while he planted his seeds in other gardens. It was a win-win for him. He had the best of both worlds. The problem was, it stopped being enough.
Luke took a quick shower before leaving the hotel. His rage had dissipated, replaced with an emptiness that felt even worse. At least when he was angry he felt something, he could understand it, even sink his teeth into it. This chasm of nothingness, it was torture.
Once at home, his cold apartment matched his solemn mood. He’d left the balcony door open and it had been raining all night, making the room thick with dampness. He closed the door and turned up the heat, then made his way into the bedroom, flopping down on his unmade bed. He dug his phone out of his pocket and pulled up Mimi’s name again. Still nothing from her. He wondered if she was doing the same, staring at her cell hoping he would text, call, or apologize. Or worse, maybe she wasn’t.
He wrote a message and stared at it for several minutes, his thumb hovering over the send button. He wasn’t sure if she would reply back or not, but he was scared shitless either way. It meant that one way or another, things would have to change and he wasn’t sure he was ready for either scenario.
He sent it.
Hey...
And waited.
Chapter 34
Emma could have spent the entire night pouting, easily replaying the fight with Luke over and over in her mind. She might have too, if Arran had not called her. He wanted to talk about his upcoming trip and convince her to join him. His enthusiasm sparked her imagination, selling her on Dubai and how it was the epitome of opulence, with no shortage of amazing architecture, superb cuisine, shopping, and extravagant hotels offering every imaginable amenity.
He told her that she would have her every want and whim met while he was working, whatever her heart desired. He would arrange for tours, shopping, lazy afternoons pampering herself at the spa, whatever she wanted. He teased that they would spend their evenings sampling some of the finest cuisines in the world, and dance on the top of the highest buildings so they could feel like they were swaying right under the stars, then make love into the wee hours of the morning. He told her that he always stayed at the Ritz Carlton, on the highest floor of the hotel, where the views were breathtaking, the bar was complimentary, the bathroom was made of marble, and the bed was the most comfortable in the world.
It was getting harder and harder to say no. His enthusiasm was infectious, and he wanted to share it all with her. They talked for hours, him fueling her imagination with stories of, not only Dubai, but the many exotic places he’d travelled. She enjoyed listening to him and found herself warming to this playful side of him, and to exciting possibilities. Aside from the indulgences, she could see the two of them enjoying each other, both in and out of the bedroom, but hopefully lots of in. Besides a few make-out sessions, they only had intercourse once, at the party, and he had been spectacular. She was certain she would never forget it and wanted to share the experience with him again and again.
“So, what do you say, Darling? Have I tempted you enough?” he teased as they were winding up their conversation.
“It’s very tempting, Arran. To be honest, getting away for awhile sounds extremely appeali
ng,” she answered, her thoughts pushing back to earlier that day and the painful altercation with Luke. He really unloaded on her.
“Well, let me just add one more thing to entice you. What would you say to a little stop in
Paris before we hit London? Two or three days, touring the Louvre, visiting the Eiffel Tower, spending an evening at the Moulin Rouge? C’est la ville de l’amour après tout, mais ça peut être assez érotique,” he seduced, his accent thick and delicious.
“Okay, okay!” she giggled, wishing she’d paid more attention in French class. “You sold me on érotique!”
“So, that’s a Oui?”
“That’s peut être,” she smirked, “maybe.”
“Maybe?”
“I still have to talk to my boss. When do you need to know?”
“I’m flying out on Friday morning, ma chérie.”
“That’s very short notice, Arran, I’ll feel terrible leaving Jennifer in a pinch,” she admitted, feeling the dream slip through her fingers.
“Yes, but I’ll take care of everything. You just say yes. I’ll talk to her, make arrangements for a temp. People rarely say no to me,” he insisted pragmatically.
“Yes, I gathered that...” she hesitated, wondering if she could actually make it all happen in four days. She’d have to pack, update her immunizations, find someone to pick up her mail and water her plants, talk to the building manager...
“Say yes.”
“Okay, yes,” she chirped, dizzy with anticipation.
“Good girl. I’ll have my assistant make the arrangements,” he offered, his confidence leaving little doubt in her mind that he would take care of everything.
She closed her eyes, inhaled deeply and smiled, wondering if she had lost her frigging mind.
“We’ll talk tomorrow, Darling. Now go to bed,” he ordered gently, as though she were a child. She pouted lightly, choosing to overlook the pretension, focusing instead on her excitement.
After they said goodnight, she hung up the phone and immediately noticed the text from Luke.
Hey
She blankly stared at the phone in her hand, her joy quickly dissipating. She remembered his words that day, how he had blindsided her so bitterly. It seemed to come out of nowhere. She had thought they were having a good time, teasing each other the way they always did, and then BAM!
He hurt her.
He told her not to call him, and there was no reason to think he didn’t mean it.
And he said he was seeing someone. She reflected on that and considered how deeply she’d been affected by that. It wasn’t strange for him to hook up with women, he had always been a bit of a player, but it was rare for him to actually date someone, like ‘date date’. In fact, she couldn’t recall the last time he had a girlfriend, certainly not since her divorce.
Admittedly, when he told her, she felt the wind being sucked out of her. She’d grown accustomed to him being around all the time, even counted on it. In the months she had been on her own he had been her rock, his constant presence giving her the confidence to go on, to find a job, to assert her independence. He made her believe in herself, encouraging her every step of the way.
But that wasn’t all of it. She looked forward to their time together. They’d been having so much fun over the past few months, playing together, exploring his world. She looked forward to each and every experience, and not just because it was fresh and exciting, but because he’d been with her. He protected her every step of the way and made her feel safe, sensual, sexy. She loved being around him.
So when he told her about Maggie, it was like the rug was pulled out from under her. It made her unsettled, anxious, irritated.
Jealous?
She sat with that realization for a moment, her gut churning with alarming, foreign emotions, her tears dangerously close to spilling. Luke was her friend, her crazy, sexy, uninhibited, playful buddy. They’d known each other forever, trusted each other. She couldn’t imagine him not being around. She knew that one day he would probably find a woman and settle down with her, but that seemed so far away, a someday sort of deal. She wasn’t ready to share him, but she had no claim on him.
So why was she feeling so territorial? Where was the jealousy coming from? It was crazy.
Emma read his message again, her heart heavy with grief. She wasn’t ready to talk to him, she had way too many feelings to sort through. Plus, he’d been such a jerk. Maybe time apart made the most sense, she thought, turning off her phone.
Chapter 35
“Sounds like an opportunity of a lifetime, Emma, how can I say no?”
Emma was sitting with Jennifer in her office, discussing the upcoming trip, still feeling torn about asking for a leave with such short notice. She had been an exemplary employee over the past several months so she was confident Jennifer wouldn’t replace her, but at the same time she respected her too much to cause her distress.
“You could say no, Jennifer. That’s why I need you to know how much I appreciate it. I’m not taking it for granted,” Emma assured, feeling overwhelmed and even a little embarrassed.
“I know that, don’t be silly. We’ll work it out, besides, your boyfriend has been very accommodating.”
Emma felt herself squirm at the word boyfriend, not comfortable with the definition. She hadn’t decided what her relationship with Arran was.
“How so?”
“Well, after he and I spoke this morning he made a whopper of a donation to the Foundation.”
“Really?” Emma asked. “He called?”
“Yes, first thing this morning, about 15 minutes before you arrived,” she gushed. “When reception told me Arran Barlow was on line two, I nearly spewed coffee all over my laptop. I had no idea why he could be calling me. When did you start dating him?”
“Dating?” Emma hesitated, not sure she wanted to say, worried Jennifer would think it strange that she was traveling halfway around the world with a man she had only known for a month. She certainly did.
“Not too long...” Emma offered ambivalently, hoping she wouldn’t press.
“Well, you must have made an impact, the man wrote the foundation a cheque for half a million dollars,” Jennifer said, visibly impressed. Emma’s mouth dropped open, shocked by the figure. She had no idea how to respond.
“So, needless to say,” Jennifer continued, “I have no objections to you taking the time
off.”
“I...um...wow!” Emma stammered, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. “I am honestly speechless.”
“I just have one very important question...” Jennifer grinned, her eyes narrowing.
“Yes?” Emma choked timidly.
“Does he have a brother?”
Chapter 36
It was finally Thursday, and she was meeting Arran in two hours. He had booked a hotel room for them near the airport, due to the early morning flight. He thought it would be simpler to be near the airport, ready to go, than try and sort it all out the next morning. Emma agreed. He was sending a car for her and all her luggage. The best part about flying on a private jet was that she didn’t have to worry about bag restrictions, which suited her just fine considering she had to pack for almost a month. Like any woman, she was bringing way too many shoes and just about everything in her wardrobe, just in case.
The week had passed swiftly for Emma. It seemed as though she would never make it through the preparations in time. Thankfully, Jennifer insisted that she take the rest of the week off, happily giving her a month’s leave. Emma just tried to embrace the generosity and not over-think it. It all seemed so excessive to her, and in many ways she didn’t feel deserving, but when she tried to explain how she felt to Arran, he just dismissed it and told her not to be silly. Still, it was difficult. During her marriage, her ex had meticulously nurtured her insecurities, happily contributing limiting beliefs to the trash pile in her head, and as much as she tried to erase them, there were many things she kept recycling, self-worth among them.
She still had not spoken to Luke, and aside from the one brief text he had sent to her, she’d heard nothing from him. Throughout the week, there were moments that she considered reaching out to him but her bruised ego convinced her otherwise. Worse than that, every time she thought about him, she’d picture him having a grand old time with his new girlfriend and her stomach would churn. Of course, she had no idea what this Maggie looked like, but in her imagination she was the flawless, supermodel type.
Her feelings confused her. She’d never experienced jealousy over Luke before, so why now? They teased one another all the time. Their relationship was intricately woven with mischievous, playful innuendos, along with a healthy dose of sexual tension, but she’d always considered it harmless flirting, a fun way to inflate each other’s egos. Of course she had fantasized about him once or twice, but she never considered doing anything about it, no matter how tempting it was. It would have damaged their friendship, probably irreparably. That’s why she tucked him into the friend zone years ago. She valued their relationship more than any other and probably always would. He would be mortified to know she was feeling jealous. He spooked too easily.
She needed to make the best of her time away, use it as a pleasant distraction to sort through her feelings. She owed it to Arran and herself (and even to Luke) to get her head on straight. She and Luke would talk when she returned to Seattle, and then they would put everything behind them.
Emma found her phone on a pile of folded clothes ready to be packed. She intended to text Luke, to let him know she was leaving the country, but had not gotten around to it. She wasn’t sure he would be too happy with her decision to go away with Arran, and quite frankly, she didn’t want a lecture. In her mind, it made the most sense to wait until the last minute, so he would just have to accept it. God, it pissed her off that he said she was naive. For a guy that treated Tinder like a menu board, he had some fucking nerve!
Hey. Sorry I didn’t respond to your message. I’ve been busy. Just wanted to let you know I’m leaving in a few hours for a holiday with Arran in case you’re looking for me. Leaving the country, I’ll be back in 3 weeks or so...
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