by Julia Swift
“Sasha?”
It’s Ricky. He must’ve been talking this whole time, but I didn’t hear him. If it was a heart attack, I’d still be in pain. Maybe I was just running too fast. Or maybe during the accident I built up scar tissue that’s now blocking my lungs. I’m not ready to sit up, leave this little cool circle, but I notice my lungs are filling up with air. And I know if I get up, there will be more room for more air.
I flip my hair over and sit up straight. Ricky is close, feeling my forehead, brushing my hair back. I bet he’s a good holder.
32
Will
It’s awkward being in a truck with someone you don’t know. Yes, Griff’s here in back with me. But who’s this Lisa girl? And Xander? He’s Sasha’s older brother and I don’t know-him know-him, yet I got into his truck. What was I thinking? My dad didn’t willingly get into a truck, they forced him. He was supposed to meet a contact in an open market when a man approached him, said he had bomb and would blow everyone up if Dad didn’t come with him. Dad knew the messenger would gladly sacrifice his life for a free pass to the afterlife. My dad walked to the truck where the kidnappers covered his head, handcuffed him and threw him in the back. My dad saved lives by sacrificing himself.
I point out the game store. We search for Sasha and the two robbers in the surrounding streets. Xander spots three men loitering on the corner. He parks the truck, shuts off the engine. I’m about to jump out, but he grabs my arm. He trades me the car keys for my cell phone.
“Anything happens, get yourselves out of here.”
Xander crosses the street. Lisa locks the door as he approaches the men. He shows them the phone with the pictures, they don’t recognize the robbers. I imagine what I would do if the men hurt Xander. Would I really abandon him? Would I try to stop them? I try not to think about the people who saw the men kidnap my dad. Do they feel guilty for not intervening? I try not to imagine being held hostage for ten days. I want to forget how they ripped off his fingernails and forced him to swallow them whole because he wouldn’t do what they wanted. I didn’t learn the specifics from my mom. She wouldn’t let me watch the news. But I knew that everyone else in the world was talking about the murdered American hostage. I went on the Internet and found everything, even pictures.
Xander raps on the window. I jump. He looks at me, I bet Xander thinks I’m scared about being in this neighborhood. Lisa unlocks the door, lets him back in the truck.
We drive around more and whenever we find a place that’s open, we ask again. Finally, we pull up to an all-night greasy spoon and a guy covered in tattoos recognizes the smaller robber.
“What do you want with him?”
“My sister might be hanging with him. She forgot to take her meds. If she doesn’t take her pills soon, she’ll end up in the hospital again.”
“He lives in the projects across from the fire station, you can’t miss it. I hope you find her in time.”
Xander is a really good liar. My dad was, too. If he wanted to get a story, he’d lie about who he was, tell everyone he wasn’t from America, he didn’t work for a newspaper. He had at least five fake identities he could slip into on the spot. He had a great South African accent. If I was in a bad mood, he would pull out his Cockney drawl. He always said it wasn’t wrong to lie if it was for a good reason. I wonder if his kidnappers even knew who they were killing.
Xander parks in front of a three-story apartment building. He hops out of the truck. I’m not sure if I’m supposed to follow.
“She’ll probably wanna see you three more than me.”
I’m not so sure about that.
Xander knocks on the apartment door. Carlos answers. He looks just like I remember. Even though I was hiding the whole time he was in the game store, I’m scared he will recognize me.
“We’re looking for Sasha.”
Xander stares at Carlos as I try to peer into the apartment. Carlos blocks my view.
“Never heard of her.”
Carlos is about to shut the door, but I shove my foot in the jamb.
“Do I know you?”
My stomach plunges. Xander pushes his way into the apartment.
“Get the hell out of here.”
“Where is she?”
Carlos gets in his face.
“You do not want to mess with me.”
Next thing I know, Xander tackles Carlos. They knock each other against the wall, punching, throwing, choking. I run into the other rooms searching for Sasha. I’m back in the living room as Xander locks Carlos in a half-Nelson. Xander takes his eyes off Carlos, looks at me.
“She’s not here.”
Carlos grabs a beer bottle and slams Xander on the back of the head. I hear something crack, can’t tell if it’s the glass or his skull. Xander loses his balance. Carlos swings again, this time the bottle smashes. Xander’s blood sprays. I’m sure he’s going to hit the floor, but instead, he trips Carlos, grabs the bottle and presses it against Carlos’s jugular. Xander pummels Carlos in the face with his other hand.
“Xander, no!”
I have to make Xander stop, a few more punches Carlos is dead and Xander goes back to jail. Xander doesn’t stop. How can I make him stop?
“Sasha, we have to find Sasha.”
That worked. Xander tosses what’s left of the bottle onto the floor and drops Carlos. He’s not going anywhere for a while. I have to step over him to exit the apartment.
As we return to the truck, I roll my sleeves up to hide the blood from Lisa. If she sees and starts screaming, that’s not going to help anyone. Griff watches someone out the back window. I follow his gaze, more trouble? No. It’s a young boy watching us from his window in the building next door. I approach the boy’s window. He disappears into the room. I’m about to peer in when the boy returns with a flashlight.
“I’m looking for a friend of mine, she was here a little while ago in the apartment building next door. Were you at your window earlier? Did you see her?”
The boy flicks on the flashlight, shining it directly in my eyes. When he lowers the beam, I see a red scar on his face.
“Do you know where she went?”
The boy quietly considers my question. I’m not getting anywhere.
“She’s really special, in fact, she’s kind of like you. Wanna know why?”
The boy shrugs his shoulders.
“She’s strong. She’s got a special scar that gives her powers. You must be powerful, too.”
“Then why does she need your help?”
“I’ll let you in on a secret, but you can’t tell anyone. This is like a thousand needles-in-the-eye kind of thing.”
He nods.
“She’s not like anyone else. She can see things we can’t. Kind of like X-Ray vision into your insides. And then she knows what to do to make your insides better, to make you feel incredible, I mean me, I mean anyone.”
The boy watches me for long time, touching his scar as if it will help him decide if he should trust me.
“You try to hide it, but you have a scar, too. I can tell.”
33
Sasha
“Sasha, Sasha!”
I can hear my brother calling my name, but he sounds far away. Ricky and I haven’t moved from our spot under the tree. His knee is swollen and my head is still fuzzy.
“Sasha.”
I stand and move toward Xander’s voice, but then I see Will. He stops, staring at me.
“You’re okay.”
It’s a statement, not a question and it bugs me. Shouldn’t he be asking? Ricky backs away slowly.
“You okay?”
Now that was a question. I nod and Ricky takes off, shifting all his weight on his good leg.
Will is still standing there. Lisa pushes past him. I can’t believe she’s here. Suddenly I’m aware I’ve ruined her clothes.
“Your skirt is ripped.”
Lisa looks at the long, jagged rip exposing my skin, then up at me like I’m crazy.
�
��Who cares.”
She hugs me hard. Over her shoulder, I can see Will, watching.
“You’re freezing.”
I don’t feel cold. I’m glad not to be boiling hot. The thought of before makes me shiver and Lisa grabs Will’s jacket, which is still on him, and spins him around until it’s off him. She wraps me up and hugs me again. I’m going to give it back, but then my brother is all over me, and he and Lisa have their arms wrapped around me so tight I can’t slip the jacket off, and I don’t want to let go. I look into my brother’s eyes, which is a mistake. Suddenly I’m crying. Lisa and my brother lead me out of the woods past Will. He’s not looking at me anymore. He’s making me ashamed to cry.
*
On the drive back, Lisa sits next to me up front and doesn’t stop talking the whole time. My brother drives and Will and Griffin ride in the back. Good, he better stay away from me. Lisa sees me seethe in Will’s direction.
“Why is he here?”
She explains she called my brother when I didn’t show up at her house. He thought Will might know where to find me.
I turn my head just enough to see if Will’s listening to Lisa talk about him. No. He’s staring out the window. My brother’s truck is really loud. Not on purpose. It was too expensive to fix everything after the accident.
“Xander had to search your room to find my number. Your whole family should have my number. I always know where you are.”
I don’t want Lisa to always know where I am. I start to space out and Lisa must notice because the next thing I hear I’m sure is designed to make her the focus of my attention again.
“Will made out with Amber as soon as you left the party. They were all over each other. Maybe he was trying to save face since you raged at him in front of everyone, but in respect of your week together, he should have waited.”
Lisa calling it our week together, as if it had some weight, sounds so silly I start to feel even more ridiculous for how much I obsessed over him. Not doing that again.
“Where does your mom think you are?”
“This is so cool. Do you realize we are in a car with three guys? Don’t worry about my mom. She’s not going to check my room. She thinks I’m still crying so she’s trying to give me my space.”
“Wait. Why were you crying?”
Lisa shrugs her shoulders, looks away.
“Doesn’t matter now.”
“Yes, it does. Was someone mean to you at the party?”
“Really, I’m over it, but you totally used me to get there, then totally ignored me. It’s like you were embarrassed to be seen with me. I’m going to write it off to you being under the spell of the evil Will. You’re back, that’s all that matters.”
“I’m sorry.”
And I am, especially because it wasn’t Will. Ever since the accident, Lisa feels like a piece of the old me I want to shake off and leave behind. But it felt good when she put her arms around me out in the woods. Was that about Lisa, or just feeling safe? Because now she’s annoying me again, and I am sorry because I don’t want her to know where I am all the time anymore. I hug her hard. I’m going to miss her, the security of her.
34
Will
If Mom discovers I’m not in bed, she is going to kill me. She won’t care that we have company in the house. I don’t know which is worse, sitting here being ignored by Sasha, or worrying about how angry my mom will be.
“Drop us off on the corner so my mom doesn’t hear you.”
Xander pulls to the curb. Griff hops out, I follow. I look to see if Sasha is going to say something, but Lisa makes sure I can’t get to Sasha.
“If I were back in Philly, I’d be getting up soon. Do you think your mom knows we’re gone?”
“No clue.”
“Maybe she and Bill got drunk and passed out.”
Totally forgot about those two. Suddenly, home is the last place I want to be. I stop walking, switch directions.
“C’mon, I wanna show you something.”
“I’m running on fumes.”
“If they already know we’re not there, we’re not gonna get into more trouble. Besides, I need you to understand why I lied.”
“Alright, but it better involve aliens or something major.”
We walk toward the grocery store and when we enter Sasha’s intersection, I stop. Griff looks dumbfounded, there’s nothing here.
“Sasha almost died here. She was with Xander in his truck, and they were broadsided by a semi. She said that while the paramedics were working on her, she saw these flashes and as long as she could see them, she never felt any pain.”
“So she’s got like special powers?”
Wonder if her powers know I’m telling Griff about her right now. Even though it’s late at night and no one’s around, it doesn’t feel right to tell him any more.
“That’d make a cool story, her being able to see things. You should write about that.”
”No, it’s her secret. I shouldn’t have told you.”
Griff lets out a chuckle as we start heading back home.
“What?”
He looks at me with a goofy smile.
“C’mon, you don’t see it?”
“See what?”
“You’re in l-o-v-e – love.”
“I’ve known her for less than two weeks. And anyways, she won’t even talk to me.”
“I seem to remember your dad suffering the silent treatment a lot. How’d he get your mom back to the loving feeling?”
“He’d give her space, disappear into his office and write an amazing article. She’d remember why he had to go away for work. That he was a smart, good guy trying to change the world.”
Too bad they didn’t find any papers on Dad’s body. This time Mom never got past angry.
35
Will
There’s a knock at the door. I open my eyes, look at the clock, it’s almost eight-thirty.
“I’m late for school. Why didn’t you wake me up?”
Mom opens the door. She looks more relaxed than I’ve seen her since, well, since we lost Dad.
“Don’t worry about school today. I’d rather you spend time with Bill and Griffin before they leave.”
I don’t have to go to school? Why is she in such a good mood? Bill. I hope that’s not it. Griff is still snoring, drooling on the air mattress that blocks my door. I step over him and into the kitchen. There are no sheets on the sofa. Where did Bill sleep? Mom puts away dishes.
“Um, where’s Bill?”
“He went out for a walk. I made waffles.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s polite to feed people when they travel across the country to see you.”
“No, why’d he go for a walk?”
“He couldn’t sleep. They’re flying out of L.A.X. at noon. Make sure Griffin’s ready.”
Mom kisses my forehead and walks into her room, leaving me to wonder what happened last night. I want to talk to Bill, but he’s out walking. I look up and down the street, no sign of him. I head back inside, pick up the newspaper. It’s already been read. Probably by him. I can’t take it. I put on my sneakers and head outside again, start walking.
I wonder, where would Dad go? I find him at a coffee shop reading The New York Times and USA Today at the same time.
“Hey, kiddo.”
I want to tell him to back away from Mom, but now that I’m standing here, I realize I have no plan.
“Um, Griff needs a double espresso to wake up.”
“Cool, we can walk back together. I hoped we could talk alone again before I left.”
So he is going to tell me about Mom. I’m going to be sick. But now I have order something to complete the lie.
“Double espresso and a hot chocolate.”
“That’ll be six-seventy-five.”
I forgot my money. Dad was right – only lie when necessary, when it’s important, otherwise, you’ll end up screwed.
“Forget it.”
; I’m about to leave when Bill hands me cash. Great, now I owe him. I wait by the counter for my order. Bill follows.
“Your mother and I were talking last night, and we decided maybe it’s time you hear what I discovered about your father when I went to Afghanistan.”
I stare at Bill, so dumbfounded I don’t hear the barista call out my name. I’ve been worrying about the wrong thing.
“Will, your drinks are ready.”
The barista’s looking for Will. Me. I finally snap to and grab the drinks. I carry the drinks to a table, my legs feel like jelly. I’m curious and nervous at the same time.
“I went online, read everything I could find. I know about the fingernails.”
“There’s more. After your father’s funeral, I flew to Kabul to pick up your father’s belongings from the hotel. After finding the information for his last source, I boxed them up for your mother.”
Bill’s the reason I got Dad’s travel alarm.
“I met with your dad’s contact, Raad Ali. He told me the original plan was for your father to interview a Taliban leader outside of Kabul. Raad hoped your father could convey their struggle to the rest of the world, let them know not only how Americans had destroyed their country, but also why the Afghani were forced to fight.”
“Raad was supposed to meet your dad at the market but he was double-crossed by another faction also fighting the Americans – the Haqqani Network. The HN doesn’t believe in a global fight like Al Qaeda, they only want to rule regionally. They were looking for someone high-profile to kidnap, someone who could give them visibility in the international press to enable them make their point regarding foreigners staying out of their country unless they want to die. An American journalist was perfect.”
So Dad got taken because he was too successful, too high-profile.
“Raad warned me it was dangerous to meet someone from the Haqqani Network. But with a little bargaining to make it worth his while, Raad finally put me in touch with a doctor who was at the first safe house where your father was taken.”