by Amy Ruttan
He shouldn’t have been so reckless, so selfish, but he could be himself around her. She gave him a sense of freedom that he’d never known. So he had been selfish, and had pursued her. When it came to Reagan he lost all sense.
Within a few hours the press and the rest of the world would know all about Reagan, and know that Kainan and Reagan had worked together in Isla Hermosa. He felt guilty that Reagan’s life was going to be exposed. The press would chew her up and spit her out. They would twist everything about her.
He was going to try hard to protect her.
Reagan stirred and then sat up, seeing that he was standing by her.
“What time is it?” she asked groggily.
Seven in the morning, Kainan signed, and handed her the coffee that he’d picked up in the hotel when he had been wandering. It was gourmet coffee, from his own country.
“Thank you.” She took a sip. “Hermosian?”
He nodded. You look like you didn’t have a very comfortable sleep.
“No, the chair was uncomfortable.” She glanced back through the window. “But I’m used to cramming myself into hospital chairs and getting only a few hours of sleep while I’m waiting.”
Was there anything to worry about last night?
“Nothing. Last time I talked to Sophie she said he was doing well.” A wobbly smile spread across Reagan’s face. “This will extend his life while we wait.”
That’s good.
Reagan stood and stretched. “I’m sorry, I’m a bit of a wreck. I can go change quickly, in the staff room, and then we can get to work.”
No work today. I talked to Dr. McNeil. Christmas Eve is in two days and the medical students are already home for the holidays. I can work on my research and you can take some time to be with Peter.
“You spoke with Michael?”
Kainan held up his phone and grinned. My robot voice did.
Reagan laughed. “Well, if you need help with your research I can do it. I really don’t want to be idle. I need to keep busy.”
He didn’t want to talk about his research, because it was no longer something he could focus on. Once he returned to Isla Hermosa he would no longer be a surgeon or be able to practice medicine. All his years of research would be left unfinished, and it was hard for him to think about, but it was a sacrifice he had to make.
He changed the subject. Reagan, you do realize that in a couple of days, if Peter stays on this upward trajectory, he’s going to come out of his medicated coma and he’ll be able to come home.
Reagan’s eyes widened and she sat down slowly. “What?”
I thought you knew? Kainan signed.
“I do know.” She shook her head. “It’s just that he’s never been home. Never. I had the nursery sort of complete...but it’s not ready. My home is not ready.”
Well, let’s go check out your place and get it ready, then.
“You have your research to do.”
It can wait. It had waited this long. My security detail can take us there in the town car and I will help you.
“You’re abusing your power now, Your Majesty,” she teased.
How? It’s their duty to help the King’s son. He grinned.
Reagan sighed. “I suppose so. I don’t think I’m ready for this...”
Ready or not, you have to do this. There will be no need for him to be here while he waits for a heart. They will move him to the pediatric ward, out of this critical care unit, get us used to the portable ventricular assist device, and then we can take him home.
“We?”
Kainan smiled and then knelt down in front of her. You know that I can protect you, Reagan. Please let me take care of you.
“Kainan, I’m not accepting your proposal of marriage. Besides, you said that keeping us secret was the best form of protection that you could give us. If I...” She trailed off when she saw his expression. “The press know, don’t they?”
Kainan nodded sadly. When I carried you into the boardroom. There was someone from the press watching and they got a picture of us kissing.
Reagan groaned. She set down her coffee cup on the floor beside the chair and rubbed her eyes. “This is horrible.”
I’m sorry.
“It’s not your fault.”
It sort of is. I am King, after all.
And nothing about his life was his.
She laughed at that. “You’re not helping.”
Marry me. I can protect you.
“No. I can’t. I can’t think about that now, and I can’t consider entering into that life with Peter still so fragile.”
Kainan’s stomach knotted. He’d known it was a long shot, but he’d had to keep trying. It was the only way to protect her and Peter, to provide for them. He had to do better than his father ever had.
Will you at least let me assist you with your apartment? he asked. If you’re with me I can protect you from the press.
“Okay. Do you want to go now, while they still have Peter sedated?”
Kainan nodded. I will go tell the team to get ready and you gather your things.
“It’s going to be a short visit to my apartment,” she warned. “I want to be here when he wakes up. It’s important that I’m here.”
Of course.
Reagan picked up her coffee cup and left the pediatric critical care unit. Kainan sighed and looked back at his son, who still needed a machine to survive.
He knelt down, and even though he couldn’t touch Peter he stared into his son’s face. Emotion overcame him. This was his child. His flesh, his blood. He couldn’t lose him.
“I will do better by you,” he whispered. “I swear.”
He bowed his head. He would be better than his father ever had.
Even if he wasn’t there to show him.
* * *
She was trying not stare at Kainan, who was looking out of the window, his chin resting on his hand. She wanted to tell him that she’d seen him, that she’d heard what he’d said to their son.
Any kind of reservation had melted away when she’d heard him whisper, “I will do better by you. I swear.”
Reagan had had to leave the room or break down in front of him.
Kainan might be King, but he was good deep down. He was still that man she cared for.
He looked over and smiled. Comfortable?
“Very.”
Reagan was thankful that Kainan had access to a town car, and that the car’s windows were tinted, but the Hermosian flags that flew on the hood sort of gave them away.
“I thought you wanted to be the hidden King?” she said lightly.
Well, since word got out I thought it was time to use the embassy car that is kept here in Toronto. We can park anywhere. He grinned.
“That’s good. There’s not much parking near my place.”
She didn’t like it that they were in an embassy car, but if the world already knew about her then there was no sense in hiding. She could face whatever they threw at her. She was the one who’d got involved with Kainan.
Although it made her feel a bit nervous to be out with him.
How far away is your place?
“I don’t know. It’s fairly new. I got it when I first came back to Toronto and was preparing for Peter’s arrival. I just know the distance in subway stops.”
“What’s the address?” the driver asked from the front seat. “There’s GPS.”
“Three-sixteen Richmond Street West. It’s not that far, I guess. Like I said, I only know by subway stops and how many blocks I have to walk.”
“You’re right, Dr. Cote. It’s not far. We’ll be there and back in no time.”
The driver plugged in the route map and Reagan turned back to Kainan.
“Thank you for helping me. I’m sure my place is a disaster. I really didn�
��t have a lot of time to settle in. I was trying to work as long as I could at the hospital, to save up and have a decent maternity leave, and then... Well, you know the rest.”
Peter was born and was so ill. Sadly, I do know the rest.
Kainan glanced out the window.
Perhaps he’ll be on the regular pediatric floor by Christmas? I hear they do a lot of celebrations for the children in there over Christmas and New Year’s.
“Maybe he’ll be home in time for New Year,” said Reagan. And that thought was scary indeed.
A strange look passed over Kainan’s face. Yes. Perhaps.
It didn’t take the driver long to navigate the streets to her condo complex. He parked in front—legally, not having to resort to the embassy park-wherever-you-want privileges.
Kainan slid out first and then helped Reagan.
“No press here,” she said, relieved.
I am glad of that. Especially since they know what you look like. I am sorry they were snapping your picture so much as we came out of the hospital. And you were bombarded with questions.
“I ignored them.” She took out her key and opened the main door.
Before she called the elevator she opened up her mail slot and pulled out the copious amount of mail that had been piling since she’d last been there. One of the things on top was a Christmas card from her parents.
A knot formed in her stomach as she thought about them. Thought how they didn’t really care much for Peter—or her, for that matter. Still, what was socially acceptable was to send your offspring a Christmas card, and that was exactly what her mother had done. She was following protocol.
You haven’t been back here in a while, I take it? Kainan signed, cocking an eyebrow as he glanced at her mail.
“No, I haven’t.”
What if you go into arrears on something?
“I do everything on my phone. There’s an app for that,” she teased.
She called the elevator and the doors opened up. She punched in her floor.
Her apartment was at the end of the hall. When she got to the door something seemed wrong. The door was splintered around the lock, and instead of having to put her key in she just turned the knob and it opened.
Kainan moved past her and into her apartment first. Reagan took a step inside and saw her place had been trashed.
The furniture was turned over and all her boxes had been opened up. Her things were everywhere, but her television and stereo were still there. Her computer was as well, but it was plugged in, and when she touched it, it woke up. It was on, and it looked as if her system had been hacked. All her personal files...
She began to tremble. She hated it that this had happened. Her life was strewn across the floor in a shambles...exposed.
Kainan came from the bedroom.
This doesn’t seem like a robbery for valuables. It looks like they were looking for information.
“Information about me?” she asked, in shock still.
Or your ties to me.
Kainan began to text.
“Who are you texting?”
“My security team” he said hoarsely.
He finished the text.
“I can’t believe this has happened.” She wanted to sit down, but if the police were going to come she didn’t want to disturb any of the evidence. “Is your team calling the police?”
Kainan nodded. I’m sorry this has happened, but I can protect you.
Reagan snorted. “You’ve said that before, and look what’s happened.”
I’m sorry.
Reagan ignored him and set her mail down on her kitchen table. She made her way to her bedroom. The contents of her nightstand drawer had been dumped out on her bed, and her dresser had been rummaged through.
The few pieces of jewelry she had were still there. Kainan was right. They had been looking for information.
She went over to the walk-in closet and opened it to look at where she had started setting up a small nursery for Peter. Nothing had been touched.
Tears stung her eyes when she saw the crib that was waiting for him and the fine layer of dust on the wood. She was the worst mother ever. She hadn’t even made it up. The sheet and quilt, even the hanging mobile, were still in a box.
All she had managed to do was set up the crib and a change table. There weren’t even diapers in there yet.
“Big girls don’t cry, Reagan. This was your choice!”
Reagan cursed under her breath. Angry at herself. Angry for letting her mother’s words back in.
How was she going to bring home a baby on a ventricular assist device and have him live here? This was no place for him. She was not ready for him to be out of the safe confines of the hospital. How was she going to be able to deal with this?
She picked up the small teddy bear that she’d bought for Peter three days before he was born. She held it close and tried not to cry again. She couldn’t do this alone.
She didn’t have to. Kainan had offered to help her. Kainan was here. But she wanted him to help her without having to make promises that she wasn’t sure that she wanted to keep. She’d never wanted to get married. Not really.
Why couldn’t they just work on raising Peter together?
Because Kainan will go back to Isla Hermosa after his surgery. He is King.
She had to do this on her own. Her parents were right in that she could only rely on herself. Peter was her responsibility. She had always been going to do this on her own anyway. Kainan’s presence didn’t change that. She had to protect her heart.
Kainan would do right by Peter, of that she was sure, but she wasn’t so sure he would do the same for her, and she couldn’t risk it.
He was King and he had a duty to his country. She understood that. She respected that.
Reagan set the bear back down. She would have to get used to doing things on her own. She couldn’t leave Toronto. She had to stay close while they waited for Peter’s new heart.
Kainan would return to Isla Hermosa to lead his country and Reagan would have to parent Peter on her own.
As she’d planned to do all along.
Chapter Eight
IT DIDN’T TAKE long for the police to arrive, and all Reagan could do was stand to the side and watch them go through her things, dusting for fingerprints and looking for evidence. She felt so exposed, so vulnerable, and she hated every minute of it.
“You say it doesn’t appear that anything has been taken, Dr. Cote?” the constable in charge asked.
“Everything seems to be here—my computer, my television, and even some money that I had hidden in my sock drawer. Until I clean I won’t really know.”
The constable nodded.
Kainan signed and the constable glanced at her in question.
“He says he thinks that my personal information was stolen. It appears my computer was hacked into,” she said.
“Why does the think that?” the constable asked.
“Because he’s the King of Isla Hermosa and...we have a child together.”
The constable was shocked. “This may have to be taken up with the RCMP.”
“I understand,” Reagan said stonily. “I know you’ll do what’s best.”
Only right now she wasn’t sure what that was.
The constable nodded. “We’ll take your laptop in and have our forensic team go over it. There could be a digital trace.”
“Thank you, Constable.”
“No problem, Dr. Cote. Make sure you get your locks changed. As soon as we hear anything we’ll give you a call.”
The constable turned back to his team and they began to bag the evidence that they wanted to take a closer look at.
Reagan turned away. “What do you think they were after?” she asked Kainan.
They’re were looking for i
nformation about you, me and our son. I have no doubts. Kainan shook his head. I’m sorry this happened.
“At least they didn’t touch Peter’s nursery. It’s just as I left it.”
Where is Peter’s nursery? he asked.
“It’s in the bedroom, in my walk-in closet.”
Kainan frowned. A closet?
“It’s a large closet, with a light. Lots of space. I was even able to fit a chair in there.”
A closet seems highly inappropriate.
“Oh, yes? And what would you have me do? I’m alone and this is what I can afford.”
His expression softened and she felt bad for snapping at him. It wasn’t his fault that she’d thought he was dead.
You can’t have a ventricular assist device in a walk-in closet.
“I’m aware of that now, but when I was pregnant I didn’t think that my baby would be on a ventricular device.”
Kainan sighed. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. It’s not your fault. I just feel...” She trailed off. Violated. Afraid. Insecure.
Only she didn’t say those words out loud. She had been taught never to say things like that out loud. Never to show weakness.
“I’m tired.”
Are you sure that’s all? Kainan asked.
Reagan scrubbed a hand over her face. “I really should get back to the hospital. We’ve been gone for ages. What if Peter wakes up?”
It will take a while before they wake him up. He has been sedated for so long. You won’t miss it. Besides, you have to get these locks changed and we have to clean up this apartment.
Reagan nodded. “You’re right. I’m just feeling a bit anxious right now.”
And you have every right to be.
“We’ve got everything, Dr. Cote,” the head constable said. “We’ll keep you updated.”
“Thank you, Constable. Have a merry Christmas.”
“You too, Dr. Cote.”
Reagan opened the door for the retreating police officers and shut it behind them. “I suppose I’d better call a locksmith to come and change the locks.”
I’ll start cleaning in the bedroom.
“I don’t know where to start...” Reagan muttered.
One room at a time.