Extra! Extra! Dead All About It

by Amanda M. Lee

  That didn’t sound good … or likely. I’d have to press him further. “It looks as if you have a dead body.”

  “Oh, wow, you’re so observant.”

  I narrowed my eyes. “No one needs your snark.”

  “I believe that’s the normal mantra that goes around when people see you, and yet you don’t cut down on the snark.”

  Well, well, well. He was definitely in a bad mood. I had a feeling I could alleviate that. Okay, there was a possibility I would make it worse, too. I was fine with that. “Do you know what you need?”

  “Coffee?”

  “I was going to say a girlfriend.”

  Jake hissed out a breath, his agitation heavy enough to cast a pall over the entire area. “Didn’t Eliot have a talk with you?”

  “He did. We talked about a lot of things.”

  Jake arched a challenging eyebrow. “And?”

  “And I think that he’s wrong about Fish letting me off my leash. I’m not going to get arrested and that bail money he’s gathering today will be unnecessary.”

  Jake pursed his lips. “I’m having trouble keeping up with this conversation.”

  That was my initial plan. “Huh. Too bad for you.”

  Jake flicked my ear a little harder than necessary. “I was talking about that woman you keep wanting to set me up with. Has Eliot talked to you about her?”

  “He has, and as much as he presses the issue, I’m not introducing him to her because I’m afraid he’ll like her better than me.”

  Jake scowled. “You are so much freaking work. I don’t know how he puts up with you.”

  Honestly, that made two of us. “I think he’s something of a masochist. He likes his pleasure to come with a bit of pain.”

  “That right there is a freaky thought.” Jake let loose with an exaggerated neck roll. “He talked to you about my problem, though, right?”

  “He did. I would suggest Viagra. Make sure it’s working before you meet Lauren.”

  “I … what?” Jake was confused. “What does Viagra have to do with anything?”

  I had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing. “You have a problem. The Viagra fixes that problem. Keep up. If I have to explain all my bad jokes we’re going to be stuck here all day.”

  “And no one wants that,” Jake growled, shifting from one foot to the other. “Seriously, though, Eliot talked to you, didn’t he? I’m not in the mood to spend the entire weekend hiding from you because you’re insistent on setting me up. I want you to back off.”

  That sounded nothing like me. “Fine. I’ll back off.”

  Jake slid me a sidelong look, suspicion practically rolling off him. “Really?”

  I bobbed my head without hesitation. “Absolutely.”

  “I … well … good.”

  “In exchange for information on what’s going on here,” I added, causing Jake’s frown to reappear as he openly glared at me. In truth, I had no intention of backing off. I wanted what I wanted when I wanted it and I wasn’t known for taking a step back to make others feel better. I was fine with that. Right now, though, I had other issues. I needed information on this death – which I was hoping was some tragic accident – because I wanted to focus on the political candidates. Making a deal with Jake would buy us both some breathing room.

  “I don’t know what to tell you,” Jake said. “I’m not sure what’s going on here yet. I got a call that we had a body in the water. I came down to check it out. Right now I know as much as you do.”

  “Oh, I’m the smartest person in the world,” I drawled. “There’s no way you know as much as me.”

  “Ugh. I walked right into that one.”

  “Yes, you’re definitely slow this morning,” I agreed. “What about the victim, though. Any identification?”

  “Not so far. We’ll have to figure out who he is before we can tell you.”

  “Well, that sounds boring. In fact … .” I lost my train of thought when I caught a glimpse of the body. Until now, the medical examiner blocked me from getting a decent view. When the man in question stood and stepped back, he gave me a clear sightline to death … and it was a face I recognized. “Son of a … .”

  Jake read the shift in my demeanor. “Do you know who that is?”

  I nodded, dumbstruck.

  “Well, do you want to share with the class, Avery?”

  I opened my mouth, unsure how to respond. In a weird turn of events, the dead man in the water would end up playing into the way I really wanted to spend my day. I had no doubt about that.

  “Avery!” Jake snapped his fingers in my face to get my attention.

  I turned to him, the movement slow and deliberate as my mind raced with possibilities.

  “Oh, geez. I can tell by the look on your face that I’m not going to like this,” Jake complained. “Who is that?”

  I found my voice. “His name is Terry Brucker.”

  “I don’t recognize that name,” Jake said after a beat. “I need more information.”

  This is where things would get sticky. “Well, I don’t know a lot about him. The most important thing – at least from where you’re standing – is that he’s a political aide.”

  “For who?”

  “Tad Ludington.”

  “Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me!” Jake adopted a petulant whine as he rolled his eyes to the sky. “Why does this sort of thing always happen to me?”

  “I think it has a little something to do with karma,” I answered without hesitation. “You wanted to cut off contact with a future love before you even got a chance to meet her. The universe didn’t like it … and it gave you this as punishment.”

  “That’s not the only punishment I’m looking at,” Jake pointed out. “I think you’re a form of punishment, too.”

  I beamed. “I think that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

  “Oh, I can’t even … someone get me Tad Ludington’s number. We need to get him down here to make identification and answer some questions.”

  Yes, my day was definitely looking up. Unfortunately, the same could not be said for Terry Brucker.

  TAD WAS FRUSTRATED AND annoyed when he made his way to Jake beneath the gazebo. Jake forced me behind police tape when his deputies arrived to seal off the area. Thankfully for me, due to the proximity to the slow-moving river, the spot Jake selected allowed voices to carry.

  “What’s going on?” Tad’s eyes were still puffy from sleep.

  “I have something to show you and I need you to make identification.” Jake kept his voice even. “I’m sorry if I woke you.”

  “I was up late last night at a fundraiser,” Tad groused. “I’m a public figure. That means I’m always busy.”

  “You’re a tool and that means you always complain,” Jake corrected. “Let’s not pretend that you’re something you’re not.”

  Tad scowled. “I didn’t come here to be insulted. I came because your office called and said I needed to come down here right away. I thought, in the spirit of cooperation, that perhaps you wanted to turn over a new leaf because you realized I was going to win the election. I see that is not the case.”

  “I’m fine with the old leaf,” Jake agreed. “As for why you’re down here, we found a body in the river.”

  Tad was blasé. “So? What does that have to do with me?”

  Jake made sure to keep his eyes on Tad. “I have it on good authority that the body we discovered is a man who works for you.”

  For the first time since arriving, Tad showed a trace of emotion that wasn’t completely self-serving. “Me? I don’t have any employees.”

  “Okay, well, this individual was described as an election aide.”

  “I … who?” Tad wrinkled his forehead. “Who are you talking about?”

  Jake pointed toward the gurney. While waiting for Tad to arrive, the medical examiner covered the body with a sheet. “I need you to tell me if you recognize that man.”

  Tad took a step
in that direction, unsure. “It’s not gross, is it? This isn’t some elaborate scheme to make me scream like a woman and then release it to the media, is it?”

  Jake’s annoyance was evident. “Why would I possibly do that?”

  “Oh, I see your little blond buddy standing over there.” Tad gestured toward me. “She would find it hilarious if I screamed and ran because you played a prank.”

  “I’m the sheriff. I have more important things to do than play pranks on you.”

  “One would hope.” Tad heaved out a resigned sigh. “Okay. Show me. I’m ready.” He put a hand on Jake’s arm before he could nod to the medical examiner and uncover the body. “Just be aware, if this is some elaborate prank and someone films me for television, I will totally sue you.”

  “Yeah, I’m fine with that.” Jake rolled his eyes before flicking his finger.

  The medical examiner pulled back the sheet, causing Tad to gasp. Instead of focusing on the body again – no one needed to see that – I fixated all my attention on Tad. His reaction was interesting to say the least, the color draining from his cheeks and his eyes threatening to roll back in his head. I thought there was a legitimate chance he might pass out. Sadly, he stayed on his feet and didn’t fall over. That would’ve made a great photo to go with my story.

  “That’s Terry Brucker,” Tad gritted out. “He works for me as a volunteer. Er, I guess worked is the appropriate term now.”

  “What can you tell me about him?” Jake asked, motioning for the medical examiner to cover the body and take it away.

  “I … .” Tad watched the gurney roll toward the parking lot, flustered. “I can’t believe he’s gone. I just talked to him last night.”

  “We’ll get to that,” Jake promised. “For now, I need to know what you can tell me about him.”

  “I … don’t know.” Tad appeared genuinely shaken. “He volunteered and agreed to do the drone work without complaint. We didn’t talk about personal stuff.”

  “Still, you must know something,” Jake pressed. “I mean … where did he live?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Was he married?”

  “I don’t know?”

  “Gay? Straight?”

  “I really don’t know … although I’ll say straight because he never hit on me, and if he were gay he wouldn’t have been able to stop himself.”

  I had to swallow a giggle mixed with a self-righteous snort. Some things never changed, and that included the size of Tad’s ego.

  “What kind of car did he drive?” Jake asked.

  “I have no idea. For all I know, he took the bus.”

  “Not in this area he didn’t,” I muttered under my breath, earning a stern look from Jake. He was well aware that I could hear the conversation from my location, but he didn’t want Tad to make a thing out of it.

  “So you’re basically saying that this guy volunteered his time to help, but you didn’t bother to take the time to learn a single thing about him,” Jake surmised. “That is just … so you.”

  Tad was affronted. “Hey! I’ve been busy. It’s not easy running for office.”

  “I never realized,” Jake deadpanned. “What with being sheriff and all – an elected position – I never would’ve imagined.”

  Tad narrowed his eyes to dangerous slits. “I don’t need this abuse. I identified the body for you. I’m not even sure how you figured out how to tie him to me, but I did what you asked. Can I go now?”

  Jake opened his mouth to argue and then snapped it shut, ultimately nodding and folding his arms over his chest, disgust etched across his chiseled features.

  Tad took three steps before turning back. “Wait a second … this is unacceptable.”

  “Oh, now you’re going to feel bad?” Jake’s eyebrows migrated up his forehead.

  “Of course I feel bad.” Tad stalked to the river’s edge and stared into the water. “Terry had a bunch of private documents. They were with him the last time I saw him.”

  “What kind of documents?” I asked, ignoring Jake’s pointed glare.

  “The kind that have to do with election strategy,” Tad fired back. “That’s something you would know nothing about because you’ve been put on the human-interest beat. If you ask me, that’s an odd place to stick you, by the way. You’re not human – a monster in human clothing is more like it – so I don’t understand how you can write something you’re not familiar with.”

  “That’s how I often felt about you and good sex,” I fired back. “You had no idea how to do it correctly, yet you persisted with bad technique, pretended you were doing it correctly the entire time, and never learned a thing. I guess we all have our shortcomings.”

  “Avery, knock that off,” Jake warned, extending a finger. “As for you, Ludington, what kind of documents did Brucker have on him? They weren’t financial documents or anything, were they?”

  “No. It was more a schedule and plan,” Tad replied, averting his gaze. “We had a specific strategy for the final days of the primary election. Now someone stole the plan, and I bet he or she is going to use it to try to win. That’s the only explanation for what’s happened here.”

  Jake and I exchanged a dubious look. I doubted very much anyone would care to steal Tad’s election plan. It probably wasn’t any good anyway. He wasn’t known for being one of the great thinkers of our time.

  “You have to find those documents,” Tad ordered, focusing on Jake. “That needs to be your primary focus.”

  “Oh, see, my primary focus is going to be the dead guy in the river,” Jake shot back. “I’m going to find out how he died and why.”

  “He clearly died because of me,” Tad argued. “Someone wanted to get to me. Someone is afraid of me and this is how they’ve decided to influence the election. In fact … I might be in danger. Have you considered that someone went after my aide because they couldn’t get to me?”

  “Oh, if only you were in true danger,” I drawled. “That would make life so much more interesting.”

  “Shut up, Avery,” Jake barked.

  “Yes, shut up, Avery,” Tad sneered. “I’m pretty sure you shouldn’t even be part of this conversation.”

  “And I’m pretty sure you shouldn’t be considered part of the male gender because it’s unprovable that you have the right parts without a magnifying glass.”

  “You take that back! I’m sick of hearing that rumor spread around. I’m perfectly normal. My ex-wife even put that in our divorce documents. She said I was perfectly adequate in bed.”

  I pressed my lips together to keep from laughing. “I see. Can I quote you on that?”

  “Absolutely not.” Tad moved to stalk off, stilling long enough to pin Jake with a look. “You’d better keep in touch. I want to be notified the minute you find my documents.”

  “Yes. You’ll be the first to know.” Jake managed to keep a straight face until Tad moved out of hearing distance. Then he fixed his eyes on me. “What do you think?”

  “I think I’m totally going to pull Tad’s divorce documents because they sound hilarious.”

  Jake’s smile slipped. “Not about that. About the election documents.”

  “Oh. I don’t know.” I shrugged. “They could be important. They could even be more important than we realize because he’s a liar.”

  “I was just thinking that.”

  “They could also be nothing because he’s got an overblown sense of self-importance.”

  “I was thinking that, too.”

  “I guess we’ll have to find the documents if we want to know the truth.”

  “That looks to be the case.” Jake ran his hand over his stubbled jaw. “Are you really going to pull his divorce documents?”

  “Yup. I can’t wait to see what other tidbits his ex-wife threw in there. It’s bound to be entertaining.”

  “Yes, well, make a copy for me so I have something to read over the weekend.”

  I saluted. “Yes, sir.”

  “And ba
ck off from trying to set me up with that woman.”

  “No way.”

  “Ugh. This is going to be a long weekend. I can already feel it.”

  He wasn’t the only one who believed that.

  5 Five

  I remained true to my word and stopped at the courthouse long enough to pull Tad’s divorce documents. I didn’t have time to read them, so I stashed them in my car and headed toward Tad’s campaign office. It was located in Warren – which didn’t make much sense because he lived in Macomb Township – but I figured that was his attempt to save money.

  I wasn’t wrong. By the time I parked in the lot of the strip mall where he rented space, I was even more suspicious than when I started.

  I called Fish to give him a report.

  “So basically Ludington’s aide is dead – although you have no idea if it was an accident or deliberate – and you’re sitting in front of his campaign headquarters,” Fish drawled. “That’s not much of an update.”

  “It’s not even ten yet,” I reminded him, watching as a young blond unlocked the door to the building and stepped inside. “The office is just now opening.”

  “And what do you expect to get from Ludington’s aide?”

  That was a good question. I shrugged, only realizing after the fact that Fish couldn’t see my mannerisms through the phone. “I’m not sure. Even if Brucker died of natural causes – or some sort of tragic accident – that doesn’t mean there’s not a story here.”

  “Because Ludington freaked out about the missing election plan?”

  “He seemed a little intense.”

  “That guy is wrapped so tight that he idles at intense,” Fish argued. “He’s going to pop an artery because of something you do at the very least.”

  Oh, well, that was something to look forward to. “I pulled his divorce documents, too.”

  “Why?”

  “Why do you think?”

  “Because you want to see if you can kill him before the election.”

  “You’re not even close. I want to see if I can make him lose the election and then sit next to him when results are coming in and do a little dance. Those aren’t even remotely the same.”