“Did that help?”
“The noises were just as bad.”
He waited for something to come to him. Thoughts were clearly racing through his mind as he methodically checked off each scenario, each possible explanation, and then went on to the next. Frustration scrolled across his face and he stood, walking to the railing that ran along the edge of our bedroom. He looked down to the lower level, squeezing the metal bar so tightly it complained as he twisted his hands back and forth.
Coffee finally made its way through my body, rushing through my veins. I kicked the covers away and planted my bare feet on the cold floor. “Movie?” I asked, but he was lost in thought. In the subdued light, I could see his mouth moving, but he made no sound. “Jared?”
His lips continued to move, and the metal still whined under his grip.
“You’re going to break the railing,” I said, walking the few steps to reach him.
He stiffened under my touch. “They won’t answer.”
“Who?”
“Eli. Samuel. Anyone.”
“Maybe they’re busy.”
“Exactly,” he said, his shoulders falling. “I can feel how exhausted you are, Nina. I don’t know how you’re still functioning. I can feel the way your body tenses and panics when you’re having the dreams. I don’t want to frighten you, but this is…if you want to believe it’s Titan, okay. But I need to figure this out.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m calling Bex. I’m going to have him come in for a few days while I try to find some answers.”
“You’re leaving?”
“Just for a few days, Sweetheart.”
I grabbed his shirt, panic tightening my throat. We hadn’t been apart for so long, the thought of even a few days without him frightened me. I would feel naked…vulnerable.
“But you promised. You promised you’d never have to go away.”
“I did. I’m not going away,” he said, touching my cheek. “I’m a phone call away.”
“No. No…send Bex.”
“Bex doesn’t have my connections, Nina. Not yet. He doesn’t know what he’s looking for, he doesn’t know the right questions to ask. I have to do this.”
I shifted my weight to one leg, trying to relax and play off my fears. “You can’t go…you can’t.”
Jared touched the thin skin under my eyes with his thumbs, silently pointing out the darkened circles. Without another word, Jared pulled his cell phone from his back pocket and dialed.
“Bex. I need you to stay with Nina for a while.” He snapped his phone shut, keeping his eyes on mine.
“Don’t do this.”
Jared tucked my hair behind my ears. “You’re overreacting.”
“Please?”
“It’s only a few days.”
I frowned. “You don’t know that.”
“If I don’t find anything, I’ll just come back. Forty-eight hours, and I’m right back here. I promise.”
“You promised you’d never leave me.”
He laughed at my stubbornness. “I’m not leaving you. I’m going to work.”
One side of my mouth turned up and I sighed. Jared leaned in, kissing my forehead with his warm, soft lips.
The engine of a speeding motorcycle grew closer to the loft, stopping just outside. Within seconds of its silence, a quiet knock came from the door. My smile melted away, and Jared threw a few things in a duffel bag as Bex sprawled out on the couch downstairs.
“Mom wants you to call,” Bex said, holding the remote in front of him, flipping on the television.
“Keep it down, Bex. Nina’s going to try to sleep.”
I crossed my arms, angry that he refused to compromise. “I can’t sleep without you. You think I’m exhausted now? Forty-eight hours from now I’m going to lapse into a coma.”
His arms encircled me, kissing me once more. “At least you’ll get some sleep.”
He was trying to keep the mood of his departure light. Jared didn’t enjoy leaving me anymore than I, but he felt strongly enough about my recurring nightmares to break a promise. That realization only left me more unsettled.
Jared gently pulled each of my fingers from his shirt. Imprints of where I had crumpled it between my fingers remained in the fabric, and I hastily ironed it out with the palm of my hands.
“Come home soon,” I whispered, trying to keep my voice from breaking.
Jared touched his lips to mine, and then looked to his brother. “Bex?”
“Got this,” Bex said, lifting his thumb in the air.
Before my eyes finished blinking, he was down the stairs and out the door.
For a few moments I felt nothing, but the second air filled my lungs, an overwhelming sense of sadness came over me. Jared hadn’t been more than a block away from me since I came to my senses and begged him back last May.
The bed seemed miles away, but I slowly made my way to it. The moment my backside sunk into the mattress, I heard purposeful stomping up the stairs. Bex ran at me full speed, jumping up and taking flight, landing precisely one inch away.
I didn’t flinch.
“Hey,” Bex said, elbowing me. “Death Jungle is on. Come watch it with me.”
“Where is Jared going?”
“I dunno…come on,” he said. His voice was already deeper, and he had been taller than me for several months. If I didn’t know he was still a kid, I would have thought he was a fellow college co-ed. He still hadn’t quite filled out — the only thing that gave him away.
He tugged on me to follow him downstairs, and I reluctantly agreed, resting my head on the arm of the sofa.
A ridiculous array of mutilation and mayhem filled the screen. Bex watched with unyielding focus, but my eyes struggled to stay open. Shifting to find a comfortable spot, I settled in and let my mind drift into oblivion. In the darkness, with the screams of dying jungle wanderers in the back ground, I somehow stayed away from the dark building and my father.
Chapter Three
Four Feet
“Please?” Bex asked, holding open the passenger-side door.
I rolled my eyes. “Fine. Don’t tell your mom.”
“I won’t!” he said. He took my backpack and threw it in the back as I collapsed into the seat. Within seconds he was beside me, starting the engine.
“You’re so cool,” he said with a wide grin.
“The only reason I’m letting you drive is because you completed your driving course at Cleet. If you can out-drive cops, I’m assuming you won’t wreck the only thing I have left of Jack.”
Bex frowned. “Buzz kill.”
He pulled away from the loft, using his blinker and obeying every traffic law along the way. I watched the trees pass, the reds and oranges signaling the arrival of Fall. Jared’s whereabouts lingered in the forefront of my mind, but the wall I had learned to form around my feelings had long been routine. I didn’t want Jared to make a mistake. or get injured because he sensed my anxiety.
“Coffee shop, Oh-seven-hundred,” Bex reported, pulling behind Kim’s dilapidated Sentra.
I shot him a look of disbelief. “Seriously?”
“Jared said you were to meet with friends Kim and Beth, to be prompt, and keep watch one block north, with front door in sight.”
“It’s me, Bex. Don’t act like a military robot. It creeps me out.”
Bex smiled. “I just want to do this right.”
I returned his smile and gave him a hug. “You’re doing great,” I said before stepping out onto the sidewalk.
Shoving my hands in my pockets to ward off the frosty morning air, I walked toward the front door of our favorite coffee place. The green door swung open and shut with patrons coming and going several times before I reached the handle. Just as I walked in, someone ran into me from behind, nearly sending me to the floor.
A familiar giggle tittered behind me. “Geez, I’m sorry!” Beth said, undoubtedly putting forth every bit of her southern charm. “I was trying to catch you
,” she breathed.
My brows turned in. “Okay…why?”
She shoved a piece of notebook paper at me. “This. Josh got this in the mail yesterday, and he gave it to Chad. It’s from Ryan.”
I ripped it out of her hand and scanned it. Everything seemed to be fine. He had completed boot camp, and was now in specialized training; something about explosives and being a weapons expert.
“Great,” I said.
“But he’s doing well! He seems okay, right?”
“Yeah,” I said, returning the paper.
Kim shoved me from behind. “Hey!”
“What is with you two today?” I said.
“I saw Beth do it. Looked fun. Can I kick you later?” Kim said, her expression void of humor.
“No, you most certainly can not.” I turned to order, craning my neck once more at Kim to prove I was not in the mood for her antics.
We settled in at our usual table, grumbling about upcoming tests and papers. Beth shared Ryan’s letter with Kim, and complained about cutting back more hours at work, making their cupboards more bare than usual. As Kim and Beth discussed Chad’s foul mood due to his feeling that his man-of-the-house status was at risk, I had an epiphany.
“What are you getting paid now?” I asked.
“Beans,” Beth said.
“Well…I am the CEO of Titan Mercantile. I need an assistant.”
Beth immediately perked up. “What are the hours? My classes are at quirky times, ya know.”
“I know,” I nodded. “If you can swing at least an hour a day, whenever you can get in, I’ll match the pay you were making this summer. You had a little breathing room then, right?”
“That’s robbery!” Beth squeaked.
“Oh, shut up,” Kim snapped. “Nina has money to burn. She doesn’t even get paid to work there,”
“Yet,” I interceded.
Kim continued,“She’s your rich friend, Oklahoma, take advantage.”
“You have interns for that stuff….” Beth said, shaking her head dismissively.
“They’re busy.”
After a short moment of thought, Beth’s mouth spread into a wide smile. “Really?”
“Really.”
She threw herself across the table, wrapping her arms around my neck. “I can’t wait to tell Chad! I’m sorry…I have to go!” she picked up her things and took a few steps, turning on her heels. “When do I start?”
I smiled patiently. “When can you start?”
“Next week?”
“See you Monday.”
Beth’s already broad smile stretched to its limit. She pulled the door open, walking with renewed energy in her step.
“Public displays of generosity make me a little queasy,” Kim deadpanned.
“Why do you think I did it?” I asked.
“You’re sick,” she said, winking. “So, what do you think about Ryan’s note?”
“He wrote Josh and didn’t write me, that’s what I think,” I sniffed.
“Nigh….”
“I know,” I said, looking out the window.
“You don’t know. You thought he’d stick around, pine for you for years until he’d finally moved to the mountains, vowing to be a hermit until he died of a broken heart. He was in love with you; he did something drastic. Let it go.”
“I do not want him to pine for me. I don’t want him dying because I hurt him, either!”
Kim watched me for a moment, unaffected by my anger. “You don’t look as tired today. Did the dreams go away?”
“No,” I snapped.
“But you slept last night?”
“Yes. Jared left town, and it’s like I fell into a coma or something.”
“Interesting,” Kim said. I turned to look at her, but she was staring out the window as if she were searching for something.
“What is it?” I asked.
“Nothing,” she said, turning to face me.
“You’re acting weird.”
“So?” Kim said in her unapologetic way.
“You’re right. It’s no different than any other day.”
We gathered our things, and then Kim offered to drive me to campus. I nodded in Bex’s direction as subtly as I could, and then yanked on the passenger door of the Sentra. It opened just a crack, and then it was stuck.
“Really?” I complained.
Kim patiently walked around the front of the car, shooing me out of the way. With a light tug, she opened the door without effort, and then returned to her side. We both fell into our seats, and I waited for Kim to go through her routine of a fake Catholic prayer before she started the engine.
“How this car still runs is beyond me. How did it survive your summer road trip?”
Kim shrugged. “She stayed behind. I rented a car.”
“Oh yeah? That far? Pretty expensive. How’d you afford it?” I asked.
Kim slowed at a red light, and waited before answering. “I told you, I robbed a few liquor stores on the way.”
“The truth this time.”
“I just told you,” Kim said, stoic.
“You robbed a liquor store. Like with a gun,” I said, dubious.
“And pantyhose.”
The light turned green, and we rode in silence until we reached campus. Kim helped me with the door, and then we walked together, our first class being in the same building. As we walked, I felt a burning question bubble up inside of me. The answer was potentially something I would forever regret knowing. Regardless, I had to know.
“You didn’t really rob a liquor store, did you, Kim?” I said, feeling ridiculous for asking.
“No,” she said, turning in the direction of her class.
I waited in the hall, watching her walk away. I had been so preoccupied with my dreams, I failed to realize Kim’s stories hadn’t added up, and I didn’t catch that she was using her sarcasm to hide something. But hide what? That was all I needed: Something new to obsess about.
Bex was waiting for me when I walked out to the parking lot, in the same spot the Escalade usually sat. I was still twenty feet away when Bex relieved me of my backpack, and escorted me the remainder of the way to the BMW. He watched me for a moment, with his big, blue eyes.
“Yes,” I said, opening the passenger door.
A large, boyish grin radiated from one side of his mouth to the other, and he enthusiastically commandeered the driver’s seat once more. “Jared called, but you were in class.”
“Convenient.”
“He wanted you to be updated the second you were finished. He hasn’t had much luck. A few leads, he’s carrying them out today, and he’ll be home tomorrow night as promised.”
“Why didn’t he call me himself?” I asked, unable to clear the venom from my voice. The anger stemmed from the pain of missing him. Ironically, letting an emotion slip now and then made it easier to control them.
Bex sighed. “He misses you. He was afraid hearing your voice would make it worse. He didn’t want you to talk him into coming home.”
One corner of my mouth turned up, but I quickly subdued it. “I’ve got to stop by the office for a sec.”
“Yep,” Bex nodded, turning in the direction of Titan.
The evening consisted of homework and dinner. Bex proved to be an accomplished cook, no doubt learning from Lillian as Jared did. He whipped up an amazing Pasta Chick Pea Salad, followed by Peppered Shrimp Alfredo. I was so full by the time he served dessert that I didn’t have enough room to fully appreciate the small slice of cheesecake he placed in front of me.
“You’re spoiling me,” I said, leaning back in my chair.
“I happened to know Jared cooks for you all the time. I’m just trying to continue the lifestyle in which you’ve become accustomed.”
“If you say so….” I teased.
“And I like to cook,” he smiled.
“It’s a wonder I haven’t gained fifty pounds living with Jared,” I said, taking my plate to the sink.
“I got
these. Go rest,” Bex said, pulling the plate from my hands.
“Quit it. It’s fifty-fifty around here.”
“Yeah, but I can do them faster,” he smirked.
“True,” I said, yawning.
I trudged up the stairs. Gluttony, in addition to weeks without a proper night’s sleep, left me nearly debilitated. My sluggish arms struggled with the pink striped pajamas I’d managed to pull from the drawer, and once my body collapsed to the mattress, I was unable to open my eyes.
And then it was morning.
No Jack, no Gabe, no Shax. I had slept an entire night without a single dream, much less a nightmare. I remembered nothing. A full night of sleep was less than a memory, and it was strange to feel rested.
The smell of bacon grease filled the air. I bounced out of bed, and trotted to the railing.
“Did you sleep?” I asked Bex, who was bouncing to a tune in his head.
“Yeah,” he called. “I was all prepared to tend to your early morning psychotic episodes Jared keeps talkin’ about. I’m disappointed.”
“Well, I’m not,” I said, retreating to the shower.
A night without the dream didn’t make sense. We had been by the office; I had even spoken briefly to Kim about the dreams, and…nothing. Whatever it was, I had to believe the nightmares were over. Sleeping all night in Jared’s arms without waking up screaming and soaking the sheets with my own sweat was definitely something to look forward to. I was even more excited for him to come home.
“Did he call?” I asked, tightening my belt as I descended the stairs.
“No, but Cynthia did.”
“Oh? Did she say why?”
“I don’t know, Nina. Maybe because you haven’t spoken to her in three weeks? She starts noticing when she runs out of charity events to keep her busy.”
“Okay, okay,” I said, picking up my phone.
“Good morning, Darling,” Cynthia said before the first ring finished.
“How are you?”
“Busy, busy. Why don’t you come over for dinner tonight? I haven’t seen you in…you know I don’t remember? How ridiculous. Come to dinner. Six o’clock.”
“Yes, Mother.”
“See you then, Dear.”
“That was quick,” Bex said, sliding two eggs from the spatula onto my plate.
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