by Ben Zackheim
But I knew if I waited, if I let the silence linger, I may find out more. So I wouldn’t say anything until he started to feel uncomfortable. Even Rebel was shifting on her feet, stealing a glance over her shoulder at me every once in awhile to make sure I hadn’t fallen asleep, I guess.
“I’ve admired your work from afar. I believe we’d make good allies. So. What say you, Kane and Rebel?”
“You’re working for someone,” I said. I was going to test his truthfulness.
“Yes,” he said simply.
“Who?” Rebel asked.
“I cannot say, or a spell will set me on fire.”
Best excuse ever.
“What’s in it for us?” I asked.
“Ah, humans. You always have to find an angle. It’s almost like you…”
“Cut the bullshit, Fox,” I interrupted. “Vampires invented the deal with the devil. I’m not getting pulled into a swamp I can’t get out of.”
“Fine. Kane.” He said my name like an adult talking to a child. “You’ll have a powerful friend for the rest of your life. And you’ll have a life that lasts as long as you want.”
We all got his drift. He probably thought he was impressing me. But the offer made me want to spit. Immortality was a big thing for some people. To me, it sounded like hell.
I let ten seconds pass. Just enough time for him to get worried that I was about to milk the moment again. But then…
“I say no way,” I snapped. His eyes went wide, surprised at the ferocity of my answer. “Why should I ally with someone who just killed my cherry tree?”
“I didn’t… I tried to warn you they were coming!”
He was flustered. It was time to find out what was going on here.
“I understand just fine. You know I have something you want and you think I’m the kind of guy who will cave to power. I don’t. I respect people who respect me. It’s an old idea. Maybe even older than you.”
“Fine then let me tell you why you should consider my…”
“Five seconds until I shoot you with something that will hurt.”
“I’ve made arrangements to provide a…”
“Three seconds.”
“You’ll ally with me because I know the one place on the planet where the sword can be safe.”
That shut me up. Fox seemed particularly pleased with himself.
“Do you have food?” he asked.
“Not for you,” I said.
“For my friend, Belch.” He gestured his hand to the edge of the roof where the demon was peeking over the top, watching us. “He likes hot dogs no matter how many times I tell him what’s in them.”
Chapter 16
The Vampire swaggered down our hallway.
Vamps always walked that way. Every single one of them acts like they know something you don’t. They probably do.
His crew cut hair was different than what I’d usually seen on a Vampire but I was about to find out that this was not your normal Vampire. His long cloak covered up a large and long torso. He wore some kind of light shoes. Like Chinese slippers.
His giant-ass demon stuck close behind, occasionally peeking over his shoulder to be sure I wasn’t up to no good.
My house was a mess. One cannonball dropped right into my entryway and took out the hallway that led to the kitchen. The weapons they used were expensive. Whoever these Vamps were they were well-funded — probably by one of the treasures we’d failed to secure. As predicted, they were using their bounty to build their own armies.
Hey, I get it. They awoke from a thousand years’ slumber and now they wanted to find a place to fit in to the world. Humans would do the same thing if their roles were reversed. But humans would also take that newfound place in the world, add some power, mix in some ambition and blow the whole damn thing up within a decade.
I gave the Vamps five years before they did the same.
I was ready to barter with this guy for information. Everything short of the sword would be on the table. I’d also fight if that’s what he wanted. I was on a roll that night. I’d even match wits, probably with Rebel throwing in some zingers.
“Now tell me what you can do for us and why we should trust you,” I said.
“I’ll tell you when it’s time,” he said.
“I think it’s time. Do you think it’s time, Rebel?”
“Oh yeah, way time it is to be told.”
I did a double take at her.
“Sorry my tongue got ahead of me because this guy PISSES ME OFF!” she yelled.
That made Fox jump a little.
We wandered through my house, assessing the damage. My main hall was a hill of rubble with a spiked ball on the top of it. The exposed sky was filled with the moon.
“If we’re going to work together then you need to show us we can trust you,” I said, wincing at the sight of my library’s entrance. It was really hard to not turn around and clock this guy with every step.
Luckily, when we walked into the library itself there was no sign of damage.
“Very nice,” Fox said. “A beautiful room. A man of letters, I see.”
“I prefer words. Like words that mean something and tell me what the hell is going on.”
“Who dat?” Rose said from the third floor balcony. She leaned over the edge and it struck me how pretty she was. I don’t usually see her that way. She’s too naive, young in spirit. Plus, she looked up to me and Rebel. But it was hard to deny her beauty as she leaned over the banister with her long, blond hair and her loose t-shirt. Casually dressed for a battle, as usual. The kicker for Rose is that she had no idea how attractive she was. It wasn’t a front. She never talked about it but she seemed to cast a spell on the men around her. Maybe it was because of her half-Vamp blood? Or a weird Vampire spell? Maybe the I’m-Attractive-But-Don’t-Know-It-Spell.
“This is Something-something Fox,” Rebel said.
“Alistair,” Fox corrected.
“Alistair,” Rebel repeated to Rose. Then she gave Fox a cocked eyebrow. “Can I call you Al?”
“No.”
“Allie? Allie, will you tell us where to hide Excalibur?”
“No.” Some color was coming into his face. His eyebrow moved for the first time, like a crunchy old thing that hadn’t expressed itself in a few centuries.
“Alice!” Rose said, laughing. Belch made a sound as it stuffed its face with our entire supply of ballpark dogs. It sounded like a demon chuckle.
“Alistair,” he said, simply.
“Okay, Callisto,” Rebel said, shrugging.
“Girls, leave the poor man alone,” I said.
“Look,” he said. “I know this is not the best way to introduce myself but I had no choice.”
“What if we don’t want your plan to work?” I asked. “What if we have our own plan?”
“Does it involve keeping Excalibur out of the hands of Vampires?”
“Yeah, it does.”
“But you put your life on the line with every treasure. One day someone will come along who thinks they have a spell to extract a treasure from your portal. Then what?”
“Then I deal with it. That’s what I get paid the little, tiny bucks for.”
Fox sighed. “But then all of your friends and teammates are in danger of being used as collateral. Every Vampire knows all about you, Kane,” he said. I couldn’t help but feel honored even though they were my sworn enemies.
“Yeah? All of them?” I asked. I winked at Rebel.
“Yes. Rebel, too.” She smiled and stuck her tongue out at me.
“What about me?” Rose asked from the balcony.
“Well, no…” Fox said.
“Why not? I’m the secret sauce!”
“Well, we succeeded once, but…” I said.
“Vampires know you because they know what you’re up to. They know that you’re the main threat to their plans to retake the treasures they left behind a thousand years ago. They think your failures are amusing, which makes you extra spec
ial to our kind. We like to be amused.”
Rebel growled. Neither of us liked to be entertainment while sacrificing so much. Still, I suspected that this was the way the Vampires felt about me, if they knew me at all. Fox had already given me valuable info.
“So why do you want to keep Excalibur out of your own people’s hands?” I asked.
“Because we can’t be trusted with it. It’s too powerful. It’s a short cut to the end of the world. Not something human or Vampire wants to see.”
“I don’t know,” Rebel said, chewing on an apple. “Doesn’t sound like such a bad thing when I see some of the bumper stickers riding around out there.”
“How can it destroy the world?” I asked. “It’s just a sword.”
“It’s Excalibur. Armies bowed to it. To serve its king, or to die by his hand. And it’s a sword filled with rage. Thousands of years of pent up rage. Similar to the atom.”
“What’s that mean?” Rose asked. She always wanted to talk science.
“When scientists first split the atom they took an educated guess that the explosion would not destroy the entire planet. Excalibur is the equivalent in the world of magic.”
“Yeah, right. So what’s your plan?”
“First, we need to do a little traveling. A lot of traveling, actually.”
“I love traveling!” Cassidy said, suddenly appearing at the top of a pile of debris at the library entrance. He hopped down and landed with sneaker-slapping enthusiasm. “Where are we going? Who are you guys?” He spotted the demon. “Whoa, big guy! Hey! Those are my hot dogs!”
“Hong Kong. China. Then Tibet,” Fox said.
“China? Why China?” I asked, getting suspicious again. The oldest Vampires in the world were in China. The wisest too. Wisdom that no human could dream to match.
“I keep telling you. Because that’s where we can hide the sword.”
“What’s in Tibet that could hide the sword better than I could right here?”
“Are we partners, then?”
I thought about it. I was leaning toward yes. I didn’t want my house to be under constant attack. “What do you think?” I asked Rebel.
“I think he’s beautiful but annoying,” she said looking him up and down.
“About the idea of partnering with him, Rebel. I was asking your brains, not your hormones.”
“My hormones aren’t talking to any of you. If they were you’d all be dead.”
Fox’s face shifted to worried mode.
Rebel sighed and studied him, foot to hair, or what there was of it. “I think he’s beautiful but annoying. So yes.”
“Hong Kong!” Cassidy yelled.
“Tibet! Rose yelled. “But I still don’t understand why no one knows about me!”
Chapter 17
The flight to California was a dull one. Fox was in the cargo, which is like First Class at twice the price and none of the luxuries. We had to leave his demon, Belch, behind. We had to tolerate lots of hell spawn sad-face and demon tantrums before we talked him into laying low in Darkwood Forest. I was sure he’d run into demons just like him.
“We should dump Vamps into the L.A. Tar Pit. See if he can get out,” Rebel said as we drove to the hotel.
“He’s got as much of a right to be alive as you do, Rebel,” Rose said.
“He’s not alive,” Rebel muttered. She was in the front seat of the van, her feet hanging out the window. Apparently, she had nice feet because she got a lot of cat-calls from the women and questions about where she had her toe nails done from the men. We were definitely in L.A.
“Can you talk to him? Can you make eye contact with him? Can he hug you back?” Rose asked, trying to blow us away with her deep thoughts.
“Wait. Where are you going with this, exactly?” Rebel asked.
“I’m just saying that he acts alive and that should be good enough, is all.”
“I agree with Rose,” Cassidy said.
“Oh, you agree with her, huh?” Rebel said. “And do you think the Vampires give you the same benefit of the doubt? You think they’d show you any mercy if they had you alone? Keep that in mind with your holier than thou opinion of the unholy.”
“Jeez, okay, fine,” Rose said. “No need to blow a hole in your hat.”
Rebel looked at me with a what-the-fuck-is-she-talking-about face.
I shrugged. “I’m staying out of this. You started it.”
Rebel went back to chewing on her toothpick. By the time we reached Hotel SM she’d chomped her way through the whole thing. She threw the wet wooden remains on the floor and beckoned for the bellboys to help with the casket.
“This undead bloke here is Samantha Allie Alistair…” She got stuck on the last name.
“Alzheimer,” Cassidy said, getting in on the joke.
“Alzheimer,” Rebel finished. “Please lay out your finest ‘For Her’ gift basket so she can know how much we love her when she wakes up.”
“Yes, ma’am!” the bellboy said, taking a twenty out of her hand. He grabbed it quickly, like he was petting a snake. Smart kid. He didn’t want to have anything to do with those fingernails.
We were all in the hotel’s cocktail lounge sans Fox. It was lit like only L.A. cocktail clubs can be lit. We were in the middle of deciding on round three when the Vampire came down. He was in Modern Vampire standards; black suit, white shirt, shiny shoes. But he’d added a wristwatch to the repertoire. Expensive one, too. A Breguet Black Skeleton Dial.
“I like it here,” Fox said, studying the lounge. It was a dark, circular room with colored lights tastefully throwing glows in just the right spots. There were six hanging dance cages with muted black iron bars. The men and women inside were all decked out in matching blue suits, dancing. Or something. I assumed the clothes would start coming off by 9pm. Around 5 minutes.
“Something going down tonight?” I asked Fox.
“Why do you ask?”
I pointed to his wristwatch. “You need to know the time all of a sudden.”
“I get it,” he said. “Detective Kane is making an appearance.”
“Just keeping my eyes open. Can never be too careful.”
“Yes, I have a date tonight. Just an old Hollywood friend.”
“I see.” And I did. I looked for someone young, nervous and sitting alone. When I saw a guy that fit the description of “Nervously Waiting To Get his Neck Bit” I realized that Fox went all ways.
“That him?” I asked, pointing to the young man. I’d bet Excalibur he was an actor by day.
Fox glanced over, pulled out his cell phone, swiped right and smiled. “Yup, that’s him.”
“An old friend,” I repeated.
Fox shrugged and stood. “So, we’ll leave here at 3am for Belmont Veterans Pier.”
“What’s there?” Rose asked, leaning forward, hoping she’d catch Fox sneaking a peek at her breasts.
“A pier,” he said. We all waited for the punchline. “And a boat.”
“Why are we going by boat?” Cassidy asked. He sipped his Shirley Temple through a thin straw.
“Because they won’t be watching the boats,” Fox said. “Or it’s less likely, at least. I’m assuming they know I’m up to something by now. They won’t know what. I’m known for my impatience and nothing requires more patience than taking a boat across the ocean.”
The music ramped up. It was 9pm. Happy Hour was over and it was time for the big spenders to get their entertainment. Fox left us for his date. The dancers started moving in ways that more closely resembled dancing as opposed to exhausted posing. I raised my glass to our pretty waitress who spotted me and smiled. Round four!
Rebel leaned toward me and whispered, “She wants your 3% tip.”
The loud music made it hard to think but I didn't feel like thinking much anyway. One by one the room started filling with people who didn't have anyone, followed by a flow of couples and small parties. Fox was with his date, eying his watch which meant he was hungry. Or horny. Or whatever
Vampires get. Sometime I think they don't know the difference between sex and food. I knew a lot of humans like that too.
The beat was getting faster and the bass lower. I could feel the music in my gut, climbing up my spine. Its rhythm was hypnotic. I started to feel sleepy even as my head was pounding from the noise. When the rumbling reached the back of my eyes I fell asleep. I had a quick dream about a hammer striking melted steel. A weapon was being built.
I woke up to the jarring sound of the cages’ doors swinging open. The metal clang is what had fed into my dream.
Rose was asleep too.
Rebel was trying to stay awake.
Our drinks had been spiked.
Fox ran at us, leaping over the patrons. Some of them realized we were under attack by Vampires and tried to get out of there.
The ones who didn't realize the danger died fast.
Through my head’s haze, I realized that the dancers were springing from their cages and sprinting at us.
Fangs drawn.
Chapter 18
People were getting massacred to a deep beat.
Fox did an admirable job of getting out in front of the Vamps closest to us and messing up their momentum. He probably wanted to save us but he also ended up saving a whole bunch of bystanders as well. If I lived through the fight I’d be sure to remind him of that. Vampires hate to be the hero.
I tried hard to wake up but I wasn’t doing a very good job. From the looks of it Cassidy and Rose were still out cold. Rebel was standing and she was in her fighting stance. But I noticed her swoon just a bit. Her feet weren’t under her yet. If I could buy her a few seconds to get her head together I knew we had a better chance of getting out of there alive.
I reached for my guns in their back holster, just above my waist. They both sat in their holster in the same direction, butts facing right. I did this because I’d practiced the hell out of pulling them both out with one hand in one try. It’s not easy but it frees up the left hand to block, hit or throw the middle finger in that split second before it catches the second pistol. This time I pulled both Glocks out and only palmed one. The other one sailed through the air to…