Relic: Blade (A Kane Arkwright Supernatural Thriller)

by Ben Zackheim

  I thought better of it at the last second, just as we reached the end of the room. It was lit dimly. A stage sat up against the cave wall, elevated about ten feet above everyone else. Some Vampires leaned back in their chairs and watched the workers passing treasure down the line and into the crate.

  One Vampire in the center observed us as we approached. An eyebrow cocked up. My guess was that she wasn’t used to speaking directly to customers.

  “Who are you and what do you want?” she asked.

  “I’m Cliff Franklin, a Lins lieutenant,” Fox said. “I’ve come to make a deposit and a withdrawal.”

  “Who are these humans” she asked. “Lunch, I hope. For your sake.”

  “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t scare them too much,” Fox said. I knew what he was talking about. Human blood can be poisoned by fear. It’s like leaving wine open for too long. A perfectly good bottle can spoil with too much time and oxygen. Blood can spoil with too much fear.

  “What is your deposit?” she asked.

  “Give me the pant leg,” Fox said to me, his hand reached out. I pulled it out of the waist of my pants and handed it to him. He dug into the pocket and tugged at something woven into the fabric. With a ripping sound he pulled out a thick glass vial of purple liquid. It captured the flame all around us and sparkled like a diamond. He also removed a folded up piece of paper.

  The bored banker’s eyes went wide, her eyebrows raised. She sniffed the air like I do when I smell bacon in the morning.

  I turned to see every Vampire in the bank looking at us.

  “That is a fake,” the banker said.

  Fox bowed slightly and smirked. How he could keep his composure while buck naked was beyond me, but he didn’t miss a beat. “Begging your pardon, madame, but it is real. I’d like to deposit in Box number 4078-A.”

  “That is not your box,” she said. “That is…”

  “Correct,” Fox interrupted. He handed her the slip of paper. She read it and glanced over at us. Whoever owned that box was not someone who wanted a couple of humans to know.

  The banker thought for a moment. Rebel shifted on her feet. She was ready to strike and, frankly, so was I. If the plan was already going south then we had to be ready for Fox to tell us to go all in. As usual, we were ready.

  A bank full of Vampires on Kauai. What a way to go!

  But then the Vampire nodded to a couple of guards. They walked into the darkness behind the platform of bankers. Torches once again lit up and revealed two massive wooden doors. Their iron hinges groaned under the weight as they opened. The room on the other side was packed with shelves, which in turn were packed with boxes. All sorts of smells came from the safe. Mildewed paper, oil — it was a mix of every old attic and basement you’ve ever walked into. It wasn’t unpleasant. It was the smell of history.

  One of the bankers saw me ogling the safe and hissed. I acted scared again.

  “Come,” the banker said. All three of us began to follow.

  “Only you,” she said, pointing to Fox. “They stay here.”

  “I would have them come with me,” Fox said.

  “Then you will have to find another bank to deposit your treasure in. No human will ever step into the safe. Being this far is a courtesy we allow just once. Do not forget that, Franklin.”

  Fox glanced back at us. “Stay here,” he said. “You will last longer if you don’t move.” He started to walk off. “Not even an inch,” he finished.

  I caught Rebel looking at his ass and rolled my eyes. Even in mortal danger she couldn’t resist an ass. Even a dead one.

  I tried to keep my eyes on the ground. Every fiber of my being wanted to investigate that place. A real Vampire bank. I knew from Spirit intel that the richest ones, the ones Rebel and I were trying to contain, stored their riches in their own vaults, with their own protection. So I doubted the bigwigs used that bank. It was probably meant for smaller deposits by Vampires of lower authority. I planned on making a return visit one day. Better-armed.

  “What do you think was in the vial?” Rebel whispered.

  Our eyes stayed low but we meekly glanced at each other. “The way they were sniffing at the air? Probably blood of some kind. Something they hunger for.”

  I noticed some Vampires were looking at us hungrily, too. Being covered in blood while standing in the middle of dozens of banker Vampires was like being a piece of meat in a shark tank. They were doing their jobs, I suppose, but they were doing them with us at the center of their attention. If any of them had the slightest sense that another Vampire was going to strike first, they’d be sure to be the second in line.

  I made the mistake of standing up straight for a moment. The room shook with the change in vibe. Just from that one move they were ready to kill. Now I knew what Fox meant by not moving at all.

  But before I could slump back over, I heard the most terrifying sound of all.

  “Hey! Kane!” a man called to me from somewhere above, loud enough for the whole room to come to a halt.

  Chapter 29

  “Kane Arkwright! What the hell happened to you?”

  Rebel’s eyes opened wide and she turned slowly. I was frozen in place.

  It couldn’t be him. He wouldn’t show his face around here.

  But it was him. I could hear his cane tapping the stone floor with each step. It was Skyler.

  I turned to watch the small, old man hobble down the stairs, as if he were feeble. Skyler was not feeble. He was the most dangerous man alive. He was decked out in his red monk’s robe. He wore it when he wanted to feel important. His wild white hair was the same mess I remembered. The sparkly golden spectacles sat on his big nose. As usual, he watched the world with his silver eyes peeking over the rims.

  “Rebel?” he yelled. “You’re covered in blood, sweetie!”

  “What are you doing here?” I whispered as he hugged Rebel. He only came up to her breasts but he didn’t mind that at all.

  “I’m indulging in a pretty lady,” he said with a smile and a twinkle in his eye.

  Rebel gave me a look that screamed settle down. She knew that things could escalate fast when Skyler and I were in the same room. But the fact that he was just wandering into a Vampire bank verified to me that he’d gone turncoat.

  “These your Vampire friends?” I asked, sticking a finger in his wrinkly face. He didn’t flinch. He just kept smiling. He could really push my buttons.

  “Would you two please shut up?” Rebel whispered.

  “What's going on out here?” Fox asked, exiting the safe. The stern-looking banker was right behind him. I saw her gesture to a couple of guards to get ready for a fight.

  “Fox!” Skyler yelled. He stretched out his arms and hobbled toward the Vampire. I glanced over at Rebel. She cocked an eyebrow.

  “Hello Skyler,” Fox said, shaking Skyler’s hand.

  Skyler turned to me. “To answer your question, Kane. I come here all the time! Good atmosphere.”

  “Why would Vampires let you into their bank?” I asked.

  “This place? It’s small potatoes! These are the working joe Vamps. Some of my best drinking buds, right Greta?” He winked at Fox’s escort. She looked annoyed. “Yeah, I’m their sworn enemy, dedicated to keeping the Vampires down but I hang with them all the time. They know better than to mess with me.”

  “He never starts a fight, but he always wins them,” Greta said in a droning voice.

  I cut in. “You betrayed us in L.A.” I hoped I could throw Skyler off his cocky posturing.

  “Ah, that. Sorry,” he said. “My home was overrun by them, boy. I didn’t welcome them. I portaled the hell out as soon as I counted twenty of them.”

  “One of them had a Wad,” I said.

  “Shit. Really? I hope they didn’t find my supply.”

  “You keep a supply of Wads?” Rebel asked, horrified.

  “I have some ready to go at all times. Never know when a student will earn one.”

  “That’s danger
ous, Skyler,” Rebel said, dumbfounded. “What if they get a hold of them?”

  “I hid them in the toilet bowl! Who the hell would look there? Fox! What say we head to the back room and all of us talk?” Skyler winked at me.

  “Who are these humans you’ve brought with you?” Greta asked Fox. Her tone was low and dangerous.

  “I'd rather not get into it in front of everyone,” Fox said.

  “What you would rather do or not do is of no concern to me,” she said. Some nasty-faced Vamps moved in on us from the shadows.

  “Now hold on one second,” Skyler said. He wobbled up to her, making his cane look especially shaky. The banker looked down on him, eyes half-mast.

  “You called them your students old man,” she said. “We all know that makes them a danger to us.”

  “They are not Vampire Hunters,” Skyler said loud enough for everyone to hear. “You have my word, Greta.”

  “I'm not sure how valuable your word is, Skyler,” she said.

  “You wound me” he said, lower lip trembling. “I will make your cooperation worth it.”

  “There's nothing you have that I want,” Greta said.

  “We'll see if you feel the same way after you find out what this party of three is carrying.”

  The chatter rose amongst the Vampires in the bank. He had just tickled their fancy which is not something you want to do with Vampires, especially when you're outnumbered 20-1.

  “What do they carry?” Greta asked, her half-mast eyes opened a bit.

  “I think it would be best if we took this to the back room,” Skyler said.

  Every Vampire in the cave waited for Greta’s response. They were hoping she’d force him to speak in front of everyone.

  “Get him some clothes,” she said, pointing to Fox. “Follow me.”

  We followed her to the back of the cave. She gestured for us to enter a long thin room with a long thin table surrounded by tall thin chairs. Vampires like thin. The Vampires who were sitting at the table were shooed away by Greta.

  “Now what is it they carry, Skyler?” Greta asked.

  “They carry a treasure that has been sought out for millennia, Greta. They carry...”

  “Shut up old man,” I said.

  “Skyler, what are you doing?” Rebel asked. There was a pleading tone to her voice that I had never heard before.

  “I'm telling the truth,” Skyler said.

  “You have no right,” I said, coldly.

  “Oh, I disagree. I have every right. It was my treasure from the start. It's been mine for years.”

  “What are you talking about?” Rebel asked.

  “You know what I'm talking about, Rebel.”

  “Here we go,” I said. “He always has to draw these things out. Maybe you should do your Soundtrack Spell, Rebel. Do you have a melodramatic drum roll?”

  “I'm talking about Excalibur, Rebel,” Skyler said. “You two stole it from me.”

  Chapter 30

  It took me a moment to understand what he was saying. It took Rebel a moment longer. I waited for her to catch up. It wasn’t a pretty sight.

  “What do you mean the sword is yours?” she asked.

  Fox decided this moment was the right one for him to start getting dressed in the banker uniform.

  “I mean exactly what I said, girl,” Skyler answered. “I took that sword from a cave in Dorusduain, Scotland myself back in 1964.”

  “Then why did you have us go and get it?” Rebel shouted.

  “Because I wasn't going to be the one to do it,” Skyler said as if the question was stupid.

  “And it didn't occur to you to give us some clues about how we might get past the traps?” I asked.

  He gave me a blank look. “Actually, no.” After a few seconds he awoke from his mini-trance and waved the idea away like an annoying bug. “I wouldn't have been able to help you anyway. I don't remember what the traps were.”

  “You are kidding me,” I said, closing my eyes. I wanted to kill him.

  “How many other Vampire treasures are you hiding from us?” Rebel asked.

  “He’s going to say that we’re…” I started saying as Skyler said…

  “We're wasting time.”

  “You see? Every time!” I yelled. We’re wasting time was Skyler’s preferred phrase when he wanted to move on from a conversation he wasn't comfortable with.

  “But we are wasting time,” Skyler said.

  I got in his face. He didn’t flinch. “Fine. Then let’s make up for lost time. This is the plan. Fox is leading us to a place where the sword will be safe. You’re going with us. I’m the boss. You do what I say. Rebel is second in command. You do what she says. And along the way you explain every goddam thing your feeble mind can remember about what the hell is going on here. Got it?”

  “Good plan!” he yelled back. He was up to something. I’m sure my face broadcast my suspicion. He smiled. “But Fox works for me.”

  Rebel and I glanced at Fox to see if he’d fight the idea of working for Skyler. But the Vampire just shined the wristwatch he’d been given and stuck his ear to it. When Fox saw us looking at him he said, “What. I do work for him.”

  I stuck my finger in Skyler’s face again. “You hired him to take us to Tibet?”

  “Yup. We need Fox there when we deliver the sword, trust me.”

  “Now I'm not even sure who we’re hiding the sword from!” Rebel growled.

  “We're hiding it from Cannon,” Skyler said.

  Greta gasped. I’d never heard a Vampire gasp.

  Cannon’s reputation preceded him. He was known as the craftiest player in Supernatural-Human conflicts. He played many sides over the decades. No one was sure what side he was on now. But if he was working with Vampires then he was more dangerous than ever.

  “Excalibur isn't just a treasure,” Skyler said. “And it’s not just a weapon either. Excalibur is the most powerful weapon any of you have ever touched.”

  “I touched a nuke once,” Rebel said.

  There was a moment of awkward silence as we all tried to figure out if she was joking.

  “What? It's true. In Idaho.”

  “Well Excalibur is more powerful than that,” Skyler said.

  “Bullshit,” Rebel said.

  “Cannon is not to be trifled with. He's the real deal. If you were to live another thousand years I doubt you would come up against a more dangerous enemy.”

  “You think highly of him,” I said.

  “I think lowly of him,” Skyler answered, pointing his cane at me. “And you should too. You should think lower than you've ever thought possible. Your brain should be in the gutter. Think of every possible way someone could go lower than you to defeat you. That's where Cannon’s brain is right now. You hear me?”

  He was more serious than I’d seen him in awhile. “I hear you,” I said.

  “What’s Cannon get out of allying with Vampires?”

  “What’s he get out of leading them, you mean?” Skyler said. Greta hissed, not happy at the implication that her kind could be led by a mortal.

  “Sorry, sweetheart, but it’s true. Cannon doesn’t work for anyone. If he’s hanging with Vamps then he’s leading the nastiest of them. You’ll probably get word of his plans in the coming days. Please let us know what you hear.”

  “If what you say is true, then you know I will, Skyler,” Greta said.

  Everyone in the room was surprised. Greta worked for Skyler, too. Impressive reach, he had.

  “Can she be trusted?” I asked.

  Skyler pulled a chair out for Greta who sat down gracefully. “I’m a vampire. What do you think?” she said.“Make it fast,” she said.

  Skyler gestured for me to approach Greta.

  I’d studied under Skyler for years. I knew what he wanted me to do to her. He wanted me to give her The Muzzle.

  Now, Magic is not my thing. But Skyler spent ten years teaching me The Muzzle. It was a simple spell for others. Its purpose is to make the
target shut up. Human, Vampire, bird, it didn't matter. It could take the voice right out of you if you started to tell a protected secret.

  But I had questions.

  “So this whole trip was a set-up,” I asked. “Coming here, telling everyone we’re carrying something valuable, you showing up.”

  “Yup,” Skyler said, smiling proudly.

  “Why?” Rebel asked.

  “We’re splitting up,” I said. I realized what his plan was.

  “What do you mean, splitting up?” Rebel asked.

  “We’re spreading Cannon’s agents thin,” I answered. “They’ll have to follow us from here in three different directions if we break up into three teams.”

  “Just two,” Skyler cut in. “You, Fox and Rebel are one. Me and Belch are the other.”

  Rebel looked impressed. “You’re teaming up with a demon?”

  “Sure. They’re chick magnets! Now go ahead, Kane,” the old man said. He didn’t think I could do The Muzzle. I stepped up. I was going to show him that I could.

  I took a deep breath. I uttered the spell the best I could under my breath and the banker was covered in a web of light. The web began to collect around her chest and her shoulders, then her mouth. Then it faded into nothing.

  “Hm, not bad,” Skyler said.

  “Don't patronize me,” I said.

  “No, really. Have you been practicing?”

  “You know I haven't.”

  “Yeah, I could tell. That's actually the worst you've ever done.”

  I nodded my head. It's exactly what I expected from Skyler.

  “Let me help you,” he said.

  He proceeded to do the spell right. Just from the intensity of the light that surrounded her and the squirming that she did, it was clear that the banker would not be telling anybody about our conversation. Willingly or unwillingly.

  “One month, my dear,” Skyler said. “Do not speak of this for one month. Not with your voice, not with your writing, not with a glance, none of that psychic stuff.”