Miriam's Secret

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Miriam's Secret Page 12

by Jerry S. Eicher


  Shirley whispered in her ear. “What’s going on? Is this the trouble you referred to?”

  “Probably,” Miriam whispered back. The truth was she didn’t know why Ivan was here. Maybe he really had come to see Lee. Nee, whatever reason Ivan would give for the visit, he’d really come to see her.

  The two young women headed downstairs and found Mamm with Elizabeth and Cheryl. The little girls had their hair freshly washed and combed. Both girls chimed at the same time, “There’s someone here!”

  Are visitors so scarce at our house that it’s such a major event? Miriam thought with irritation. But her anger was better directed at Ivan and not at her family.

  “He’s coming in!” Elizabeth and Cheryl both glowed as Lee and Ivan appeared on the front porch.

  Miriam almost fled back upstairs, but that wasn’t practical. Mamm would call her back if Ivan wished to speak with her, and that would add embarrassment on top of embarrassment.

  Shirley opened the door before Lee could. “What a surprise!” she sang out. “Ivan Mast in person.”

  A deep chuckle from Ivan greeted her welcome.

  Mamm whispered, “I don’t know why Ivan’s here, but you’d better go greet him.”

  Spurred into action, Miriam pasted on a smile and crossed the living room floor as the two men came inside.

  Ivan’s face brightened even more at the sight of her. “Good afternoon, Miriam.”

  Lee took Shirley’s arm. “I guess we’ll make ourselves scarce then.” Lee pulled Shirley along as he headed for the kitchen.

  That left Miriam and Ivan face-to-face by the front door with Mamm and the younger girls looking on. Miriam didn’t want another word with Ivan when the others could hear, so she brushed past Ivan and went onto the porch. He followed. She took the first rocker she came to and waited for him to sit in the other. Then she burst out, “You do have your nerve, Ivan! Coming here uninvited. How am I going to explain this to my family?”

  His smile was broad. “I think it’s the most natural thing. You can tell them that Ivan Mast has come to his senses. Now tell me the truth. Haven’t you wished for this moment many times?”

  Her face burned. How did Ivan know her heart so well? Yet he had still spurned her for Laura Swartz.

  “If my dating Laura bothered you, well, I’m sorry about that.” His tone softened. “That’ll be over soon, Miriam. I came to tell you that and ask if you could forgive me for my misjudgment in that matter.”

  She stared at him. No words would come out of her mouth.

  “Yah.” He nodded as if she’d asked a question. “You have a right to ask. I will be speaking with Laura at length on Sunday night, and we will part ways.”

  “Then why are you speaking with me now?” Miriam asked.

  Ivan had a pleased expression on his face. “I can see that you care, and that’s gut. I’m here to tell you what my plans are because you wouldn’t let me speak to you earlier this week when you so abruptly cut me off. That’s why I’ve come over now—when we would have more time without the fear of anyone walking in on us.”

  Miriam wanted to roll her eyes. It was too much. She couldn’t imagine that Laura would give up so easily. Ivan was a catch, and any young woman would jump at the chance to date him and, perhaps, marry him. And what made Ivan think she’d take him back if he did break it off with Laura? Didn’t he realize she would never accept a date that depended on the farm as bait? That Ivan thought so made anger run all the way through her.

  Ivan watched her carefully. He must have read her thoughts because he hastened to add, “I hope you don’t think that in my heart this has anything to do with the farm you inherited from Mr. Bland. I heard about it, of course, and it does make you a more attractive prospect, but that’s simply not the real reason I’m here. I still care about you, Miriam. I should never have dated Laura in the first place. You’re a decent woman and will make a real jewel of a frau. I hope you will give me a chance to prove myself.”

  Before she could think of a proper answer, Ivan was on his feet. “I don’t want to bother you long, Miriam. But I did wish to say that. I’m willing to wait a few weeks until you think things over, and then I will officially ask you home for a Sunday evening together. After I’ve spoken with Laura, of course.”

  Miriam really didn’t want to agree to such a thing now…or later, but Ivan was already on his way down the steps. She couldn’t find her voice to call after him.

  Ivan briefly turned toward her. “Thanks for the time, Miriam.” He lifted his hand in a quick wave. “The best to you and to us.”

  She watched him until he climbed into his buggy and drove down the lane. He had a big smile on his face when he drove past her.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Supper was over that Saturday evening, and the younger children had been sent to bed. Lee and Mark were in their rooms for the night when Miriam took a seat on the couch. She hadn’t discussed Ivan’s visit this forenoon with anyone, and her family had respected her silence. But now was the time to speak in private with Mamm and Daett. And this conversation might well lead to Shirley’s involvement. She was upstairs but could be called down at a moment’s notice. Shirley might not be happy, but if necessary she’d be included.

  Miriam glanced at Mamm sitting in her rocker beside Daett. “I need to speak with the two of you.”

  Silence hung heavy as they looked her way and waited.

  A lump caught in Miriam’s throat.

  Mamm seemed to understand and spoke first. “Is this about Ivan?”

  “Yah,” Miriam managed.

  “Ivan is a member in gut standing with the church,” Daett said with a pleased expression on his face.

  Miriam decided to get right to the point. “Mamm, Daett…I need to get away for a while. I need to be somewhere else.”

  Daett’s look turned to surprise. “Because of Ivan?”

  “I suspect that’s only part of the problem,” Mamm offered. “Maybe you’d better explain, Miriam.”

  Miriam gathered her thoughts. How much should she say? She couldn’t go and accuse Ivan, and yet…Her words came slowly. “Ivan says he’s going to end his relationship with Laura Swartz. He wants to bring me home from the Sunday-night hymn singings. But I think he’s only paying me attention because…well, because Mr. Bland gave me the farm.”

  Daett’s pleased expression returned. “Maybe Ivan’s finding out that Laura makes a poor substitute for my daughter.”

  Miriam forced a smile. “That’s nice of you to think, Daett. But Ivan’s not coming back because he’s tired of Laura. He’s after the farm. I’m sure of it.” There! The words were out.

  Mamm didn’t appear too shocked, but Daett lost his pleased look. “You don’t really think Ivan would do such a thing?”

  “Yah, I do,” Miriam said, now on the verge of tears.

  Mamm didn’t show too much incredulity, but Daett’s opinion of Ivan was too innocent.

  “I’d take some time to think about this, Miriam,” Daett said. “Surely Ivan is offering you some space if you have doubts.”

  Miriam nodded.

  Daett’s pleased look returned.

  “I’d like to leave for a while to ensure that space. And I’d like to take Shirley with me.” There! That had also been said even if she had no idea how such a thing was possible. She didn’t mean to hurt Daett by the implication that she didn’t trust his advice. Her instinct to flee was strong, and she trusted that more. What she didn’t trust was her heart if she stayed here. What if she gave in to Ivan’s pleas? The years when she’d longed for his attention might simply overwhelm her. She needed a place away from him…and even away from Mr. Bland’s farm. A place where she could think everything through.

  Mamm reached over to touch Miriam’s arm. “Don’t you think you’re overreacting? I know things have been stressful the last while, but running away never does any gut. And where would you go? Plus there’s not the money for travel, Miriam.”

  Miriam took a deep br
eath. All this was true except the last part, but Ivan had pushed her over the edge this morning. She wouldn’t turn back now. Plus there was Shirley to think about. Maybe that was the point she should make. She looked at Mamm and Daett again. “Do you know that Shirley’s pretty serious about Jonas Beachy? And it’s more than just a little rumspringa fun, if you ask me. They’re kissing already.”

  The look on Daett’s face showed that he wasn’t pleased in the least with this information.

  Miriam realized she probably shouldn’t have revealed what Shirley had told her, but her sister hadn’t asked that her actions be kept secret. And Daett would find out soon enough.

  Right now his words came quickly enough. “And you would take Shirley with you?”

  “Yah, of course.” Miriam didn’t hesitate.

  “And Shirley would go to this place too?” Mamm sounded skeptical.

  Daett gave Mamm a sharp glance. “I’m still in charge around here, although one begins to wonder with all that’s been going on,” he said with a frown.

  Miriam twisted her fingers together. If Daett knew about the money she’d inherited, he would really be concerned. She had never kept something like this from him, but that was apparently what money did to a person. Money began to dictate actions, and there didn’t seem much she was willing to do about it. The checkbook upstairs in the closet drawer was a secret that had sealed her lips tighter than a lid on a cooking jar after it came out of the pressure canner.

  Daett continued. “But what’s the use of sending Shirley away? With the modern ways people like the Beachy family embrace, Jonas can follow Shirley anywhere.” He glanced at Mamm with a sorrowful expression. “We must have failed somewhere in our training.”

  Mamm was quick to give Daett a smile because she was that way. She always knew what Daett needed. And encouragement was just the ticket right now.

  Daett took a deep breath. “But maybe we should try it. Anything is worth the effort to save one of my daughters.”

  “But where and how?” Mamm didn’t sound too happy with the idea.

  Daett didn’t have to think too long. “Your sister Fannie is having a baby soon, isn’t she? That’s in Oklahoma. Maybe young Jonas would leave Shirley alone if she went out there. And it might give Miriam time to think about…well, about her situation.”

  And come to her senses, Miriam added silently. She pushed the bitter thought away.

  “And where would the money come from for this trip?” Mamm’s voice cut through Miriam’s thoughts. “And how long would they be gone?”

  Daett didn’t hesitate. “We have the rental income from Mr. Bland’s house now, and soon there will be farm income. Surely we can do this for our daughters’ sakes. As for the time, you know more about the kind of help Fannie will need, but what about two weeks? Although I don’t suppose Jonas will forget Shirley in just two weeks.”

  Miriam’s mind spun. This sounded like a good idea.

  “Well, maybe the girls could stay a little longer,” Mamm said. “Like a few months instead of weeks. I’m sure Fanny and William would appreciate having more family around.”

  Daett frowned. “Then Miriam would need to quit her job at the bookstore, and her income…” He let the thought hang without adding the embarrassing fact of saying they needed her money.

  That’s true, Miriam thought. Her family hadn’t survived without her income the past few years when she worked for Mr. Bland. But couldn’t they now? Hadn’t she done her share with the farm she’d landed in Daett’s lap?

  Daett must have thought the same thing because he said, “I’m sorry. I forget that I needn’t think like that any longer. If Miriam gets married, we’ll have to live without her help, so why not practice now? And she has done plenty already. There is the Bland farm income. We’ll get by.”

  Mamm stared at Daett. “I guess I did suggest this, but both of my oldest daughters going? How will I make it without them? And for a few months—with the baby on the way?”

  Daett didn’t answer at once. Finally he said, “Perhaps it’s time Naomi helps out more. It’ll be gut for her. We must do what’s best for all the girls.”

  Mamm spoke up. “We’d better ask Shirley about her feelings. Or maybe we should think about this for a while before we decide.”

  Daett set his lips in a straight line. “Call Shirley. I’ve had enough of this. Shirley will do what I tell her.”

  Mamm hesitated but then got up and called up the stairs for Shirley.

  Seconds later soft footsteps padded down the stairs.

  Mamm took her seat again.

  Shirley came in and sat on the couch next to Miriam without a word. Her chin was set, though, so Shirley was ready for a fight of some kind.

  “We’ve been talking,” Daett began, “and we’ve come up with a solution to some of our problems that are…”

  “Problems like me?” Shirley interrupted.

  Daett shook his head. “You know we love you, Shirley. We probably don’t do that perfectly, but we try the best we can with the faults we have.” Daett cleared his throat. “I know you intend no harm by going with young Jonas. Still, you also know how hard it is for you to keep your resolutions. We’ve been talking, and we think it would be best if you went away for a while. We want you to accompany Miriam to see your aunt Fannie in Oklahoma and help her with her new baby.”

  Shirley considered this for a moment. “I’m not going to forget Jonas, Daett.” Her voice was resolute. “We both know we’ll have to go our separate ways eventually.”

  Daett’s face was full of compassion. “You say that now, Shirley, but we all know how you are about promises. You may feel like you’ll stop seeing Jonas by mutual agreement, but the more you’re together, the less likely that will happen. This trip with Miriam will help you keep your commitment to not get involved with him.”

  Shirley was silent for a moment before she stood. “It doesn’t look like I have much choice. I will need to tell Jonas.”

  “You’re not to tell Jonas where you’re going,” Mamm said.

  Shirley’s chin was up again. “It’s not like he’s going to follow me to Oklahoma, Mamm. But, yah, I will tell him where I’m going. That is only right.”

  Mamm’s voice was strained. “Then we’ll accomplish little with this sacrifice.”

  “We must trust the Lord.” Daett spoke up. “This trip is the right thing to do, and we must not doubt even with obstacles in the way. Both Shirley and Miriam will be better off in Oklahoma for a while.”

  Shirley stared at Miriam.

  Miriam couldn’t read her expression. Was Shirley mad? Did she blame her for all this? Well, at least the future was decided. She could deal with Shirley’s feelings later. All that mattered now was that she’d be able to escape the Ivan Mast problem. And that would be happiness enough.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Sunday evening Ivan’s buggy crept down the road toward the Swartz home. Laura had lingered at the hymn singing, deep in conversation with one of her many girlfriends. Ivan had been impatient to leave, but now he was in no hurry either to arrive at Laura’s home or for this evening to end. The time had come to tell Laura goodbye, and the agony in his heart was worse than he’d expected. Why Laura hadn’t noticed the attention he’d paid Miriam today was beyond him. A temper tantrum or a barrage of questions from her would make this much easier. Instead Laura nestled against him with her head on his shoulder. She took great liberties for the length of time they’d dated, but Ivan couldn’t blame her. So far he’d done nothing but encourage the woman’s feelings for him. How he would change that suddenly, he still didn’t know.

  “It’s a sweet night, isn’t it?” Laura whispered. “The full moon will be up soon.”

  The last thing we need is a full moon, Ivan almost said. He answered instead, “I didn’t know that.”

  “Oh…” Laura cooed. “I thought you were the romantic type. Don’t you know that lovers who meet under a full moon have their hearts sealed together? Like fore
ver?”

  He’d never heard of such a thing, but it sounded like something Laura would come up with. Practical Miriam wouldn’t talk about full moons or hearts sealed together forever. And practicality was what he needed right now.

  “Let’s pull over and wait for the rise of the moon.” Laura’s head rose from his shoulder to peer outside the buggy. “Right over there in that clearing. That’s perfect.”

  What could he do but respond positively? So Ivan pulled off the road and brought the buggy to a bumpy stop in the field. What he should do, Ivan told himself, was slap the reins and race toward the Swartz place and drop Laura off without a word. Laura didn’t seem bothered by his silence. She likely thought it romantic.

  “It’ll be up all the way soon.” Laura’s head was on Ivan’s shoulder again as her gaze fixed on a distant tree line. “We have all evening, you know. And it’s much nicer out here than just sitting on the couch at my house.”

  This wasn’t how he’d planned to spend his last evening with Laura. Ivan had tried to send hints her way all week but to no avail. This was not gut at all. Even so, this was going to be the end for them, so why shouldn’t he enjoy their last hours together? Her fingers found his, and he took them gently.

  She sighed and moved closer. “You’re such a dream, Ivan. I never thought I’d do this well with a handsome man.”

  “I’m not much, you know. Just a laborer at a furniture shop.”

  Her fingers tightened on his. “Don’t be so modest, though that’s what I love about you, I guess. You know gut and well that not everyone could have gotten that job. I may not be too intelligent, but I know that. The Beachys have high standards, and they pay well. And you’re a foreman now, aren’t you?”

  “I see you’ve been checking.” He liked the feeling that ran through him at her words. These were not things that Miriam would have mentioned or likely even knew about. Because the truth was that he did get paid well. He just wanted more. But he wasn’t about to admit that to Laura. Especially tonight. He glanced down at her uplifted face. Her beauty stabbed his heart.

 

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