“Um. Okay.” I had no idea what that thing would be, but I probably wanted to do it.
He brushed my hair back from my ear, his breath teasing my cheek as he sucked my earlobe into his mouth. Then he released it and whispered, “I want to get my head between your thighs and taste you. What do you say, Doll? Are you up for it?”
“Oh god. Y-yes.” The answer broke from me as a whimper. I lay back, orienting myself correctly on the bed rather than laying across it, so Ian had room to lie between my legs. He leaned down to kiss me, and I lifted my pelvis up to bump against his.
“You have no patience,” he teased, grinding against me and kissing the pulse point in my throat. He kissed a trail over my breasts and down my stomach, but he wasn’t leisurely about it. He wasn’t out for a Sunday drive, he was on his way to work, and he wasn’t going to be late.
Thank god, because by the time he got down there, I wasn’t in the mood to be kept waiting. He grasped both sides of my panties with two fingers and ran his tongue along the seam between the fabric and my skin. He didn’t pull them down. Instead, he leaned in and ran his nose up and down the wet crotch.
My breath caught. What if I smelled gross? What if I was too wet and it was, like, abnormal?
“You smell good enough to eat,” he groaned, kissing my bare inner thigh and smashing the last of my reservations. Ian wouldn’t make me feel bad or act disgusted by me. All he wanted was to make me feel good.
I wasn’t going to stop him.
He pulled my panties down my legs, and I helped by bending my knee and bringing one foot out. He didn’t bother pulling the other side off. Instead, he leaned in close to my pussy and parted me with his thumbs. My eyes squeezed closed, but I forced myself to keep them open, so I could see his face between my thighs. He kissed me, a soft, sucking kiss right at the tip of my clit, and I let out a shuddering moan.
With an arm hooked beneath each of my knees, he grasped my hips and pulled me down to meet a slow lick that started at my already wet opening and ended with a swirl around my clit. Then his mouth closed over me and I curled up from the bed, grabbing his hair and pushing him harder against me. His tongue was like the ultimate sex toy, moving from firm and pointed to soft and flat, circling or flicking at any given moment. When he found the motion that made me shout, “Oh god!”—a rapid side-to-side slide that felt like he was touching every nerve in my lower body—he stuck with it until I was thrashing and almost crying, the sensation so overwhelmed me. My hands fisted in the duvet, and he grabbed them, lacing our fingers together. With my legs over his shoulders and my hands captured, I was locked against his mouth in a sweet trap I didn’t want to escape.
“I’m coming,” I gasped, because it was all I could say. In fact, I repeated it several times, my throat becoming more hoarse with each one; all the wetness in my body was concentrated below his lips. I was probably making a spot on his bedspread. I lifted my hips against his face, imitating the speed and rhythm of the sucking pulse of his mouth, and I finally broke, my body bucking.
He lifted his head, breathing heavy, like he’d been submerged under water. He disentangled our hands to wipe his mouth. “Do you want me to keep going?”
It was tempting. Very tempting. But I needed him. I’d never felt so physically empty as I did at the moment. “No. I need you to fuck me right now. I need you inside me.”
“Fuck,” he breathed, scrubbing his hand down his face. “I’m going to remember that, the way you said it… I’ll hear it in my head every time I jerk off for the rest of my life.”
It shouldn’t have been possible to be more turned on, but the rush of desire his words inspired made me think I might come again if I just thought about them.
He stood and unbuckled his belt, and unzipped his pants. I held my breath as he pushed them and his boxers down. Holy shit, he was naked. I mean, I was naked, but he was naked, and outside of porn, I’d never seen a guy so…naked. It was literally the only word I could think of. And whatever Ian had meant about looking like a gory wreck was completely untrue. Sure, he wasn’t super cut and muscular, and yeah, he had slight love handles, but he was far from unfuckable. And the whole dad bod thing was kind of cute.
I stood on legs that were still basically jelly and tentatively put my arms around his shoulders, bringing our bodies together, skin to skin, every bare inch against every bare inch for the first time. The length of his erection pushed against my stomach. His arms encircled me, and I leaned my cheek against his chest.
“Do you still want to do this?” he asked softly.
Yes. More than anything, I wanted to do this. “Yeah. I really do.”
I turned around and pulled the duvet back. The slight bend of my waist made me seriously consider just leaning over and letting him fuck me from behind, but that seemed kind of advanced for a beginner.
Now, for the potentially embarrassing part. I slid onto the bed and looked up at him, hoping I didn’t appear as nervous as I felt. “Look…I’m not sure if it’s true that you bleed the first time, or… I mean, if you don’t want your sheets messed up… The internet says no, that doesn’t happen, but my friends in high school said that it does—”
“I wouldn’t know,” he said, brushing the backs of his knuckles down my cheek. “I’ve never been anyone’s first. But I promise, I’m going to be careful. And the sheets are the last thing on my mind.”
He retrieved the condom from the folds of the bedding and tore the wrapper open. I watched, fascinated, as he rolled it on.
“Aren’t you supposed to put a drop of lube in there, so it feels better?” I asked, remembering something I’d read in Cosmo. “Do you have any lube?”
“I do, but the last thing I need is more stimulation. I’m worried about lasting long enough as it is,” he said, opening his nightstand. He took out a black bottle with a pump top. “Probably better if we use some for you, just to make things easier.”
He was worried about lasting long enough? Like, he was that turned on by me? My skin pricked all over with goose bumps. “How do you want me?”
He frowned, squirting a few drops of the lube into his palm. “I think that’s up to you. Whatever you want.”
“Okay.” I shivered as I watched him slick the gel down his cock. My bottom lip trembled, and I didn’t know why, but I felt like I might cry, despite how much I was anticipating this. “I think I want you on top.”
Why couldn’t I be sexy? Like, even for two seconds?
My total non-sexiness didn’t seem like a deterrent, because Ian practically leapt onto the bed, between my legs. He kissed me, my mouth, my neck, the hollow of my throat and the tops of my breasts. All the while, the tip of him prodded against me, but never quite made it inside.
“Are you ready?” he whispered beside my ear.
I gripped his shoulders and lifted my head to whisper back, “Yes.”
His hand moved between us to guide himself. This is it. My toes curled against the sheets in tense anticipation. I’d imagined this in hundreds of different ways, tried to figure out how it would feel. I’d compared it to fingering myself, because it just made sense to me. But the head of his cock pushed against me, and I realized how wrong that comparison was. I was slick, the condom was slick, and the lack of friction made everything seem so fast. I stretched, and he was in. At least, a little. It didn’t hurt, but I definitely felt full to capacity, and he was barely inside.
He looked up, and his expression flickered to panic as our eyes met, so I must have looked scared out of my mind. I kind of felt scared out of my mind. Out of control, at least.
“Are you all right? Do you want me to—” he asked, moving like he would pull out.
“No, keep going,” I breathed.
He pushed deeper, and I spread my legs wider. He withdrew a little, and my muscles tensed.
“I hate to ask,” he began, his voice pained. “But it feels like you’re going to snap my cock off. Is there anything I can do to help you relax?”
“Oh! I�
�m sorry!” I laughed. I sounded like a crazy person. I took a deep breath and blew it out, closing my eyes. “This is just really exciting. And a little nerve wracking.”
“Well, you’re doing fine,” he reassured me. He leaned down to kiss me, sliding deeper as my mouth opened under his.
I turned my head away to gasp, “Oh my god, Ian!” against his cheek. I wanted something from him, but my brain and my body were too confused to articulate what, exactly, I was looking for. He withdrew and stroked back in, gentle and slow. I wanted him to really be inside, so that our bodies were flush against each other. “You can go deeper. You’re not hurting me.”
He obliged me on the next stroke, filling me until he bumped my cervix, and I startled. He pulled back. “Too far?”
“No, it’s perfect, I just… I’m surprised by how different this feels—” The pitch of my voice rose with the slow drag of his cock as he pulled back. I shifted under him. I didn’t know what to do with my hands, so I tentatively laid one on his shoulder and the other on the small of his back. I pushed my face into the bend of his neck. His cologne smelled amazing. “Please fuck me. For real. Please.”
“For real?” I heard the amusement in his voice. He reached to snag one of my legs and pull it up, around his waist, opening me wider as he moved.
I tipped my head back and rocked with the rhythm he set up, slow and steady. It felt good, but I still needed more sensation to take me all the way. “Um, do you mind if I…play with myself a little?”
“Fuck, no, I don’t mind,” he practically growled. “I want to feel you come.”
I slipped my hand between us. The angle was different, and I definitely didn’t have much wiggle room. Curiosity drove my fingers lower, to feel where his cock glided in and out of me. He groaned when I spread my fingers around him.
There wasn’t a single thing about the night that I was going to forget. Not the feeling of his hands on me, not the way he smelled or how his chest hair felt scraping over my nipples. Not the panting sound of his breath or the flex of his hips between my legs, or the way his body seemed so much bigger, so much stronger and thrillingly intimidating when I was under him. My fingers slid over my clit, and it only took me a few seconds to reach the edge. My feet cramped, and I heard myself moaning, but all but one sense, tactile sensation, had faded into the background. I dug my nails into Ian’s back and practically screamed as my orgasm washed through my body. My internal muscles seized on him in sharp pulses, and my limbs went weak. I clung to his shoulders, not exactly sobbing, but not exactly moaning, either. I was so overwhelmed, I blurted, “Oh my god, I’m actually having sex!”
“Ah, Doll, not for much longer, I’m afraid.” He laughed, out of breath, and kissed me. Then, with an almost disappointed-sounding groan, he drove deep, his body jerking and trembling over me. His cock pulsed in me, and I realized with a shock that he’d just come, buried so deep in me I couldn’t breathe.
After that, it was like all the strength had poured out of his body. He eased out gently and rolled off me, onto his back. Still breathing heavy, he caught my hand and brought it to his lips. “You all right, Doll?”
“Yeah.” I blinked up at the sky through the window over our heads. “Yeah, I expected that I would be… I don’t know. Weepy? That I would feel some profound sense of transition from one phase of my life to the next? But I don’t.”
“Fair enough. How do you feel?” He reached for something in the dark. Probably a tissue so he could take off the condom.
That supposition was confirmed when he flinched and hissed a second later. I covered my mouth to keep from giggling.
“I feel…tired. And really, really good. Can I have two orgasms every time we do it?” I rolled onto my stomach to lean up on my elbows beside him. He was so handsome I couldn’t resist dropping a kiss on his cheek.
“God, minimum, I hope.” He grimaced. “Maybe I’ll last longer than five minutes next time.”
“It’s okay. I think probably a little bit of sex the first time is better than way too much sex.” I reached between my legs. I was definitely puffy and a little bit sore. “But it didn’t hurt at all.”
“Thank God!” He put his hands over his face and mumbled through them, “That was my biggest fear, doing this.”
“I know. Which is why I wasn’t nervous.” It was a lie but a harmless one. I would have been nervous no matter who I’d done it with. With Ian, those nerves had been at a minimum.
“This may sound a bit creepy. You’ll have to just forgive me for that,” he began haltingly. “But thank you. I know you waited a long time, and I know how much this meant to you. So, thank you for letting me share it with you.”
I leaned over to kiss him. “I love you. I know I didn’t say it when you did, but I felt it, then. I just wanted it to be…special.”
“You’re special, Penny Parker.” He cupped my jaw with his big hand. “And I love you, too.”
* * * *
Sleeping naked next to someone, feeling all of their skin, their entire body pressed against yours, it was…sweaty. Really, super sweaty. I hoped Ian didn’t notice how gross I was when he woke up. I tried to wipe some of my perspiration off on the sheet before he opened his eyes.
The alarm clock on the bedside table read ten-thirty in the morning. That was some serious sleeping in for me. My bladder was more than aware of it. I rolled out of bed, praying I wouldn’t sneeze or cough or laugh or even just walk too fast. I kicked the bathroom door closed behind me and sat on the toilet, groaning in relief as I urinated. Dammit, that was another Cosmo tip I’d forgotten! I was supposed to have peed after sex, so I wouldn’t get a bladder infection.
When I wiped, a little pink showed on the toilet paper, and my whole general area was sore. I guess any body part ached after you introduced it to a new exercise. I just hoped it would fade quickly so we could do it again.
I hurried back out to the bed, feeling pretty awesome about my nakedness. Nothing to be modest about, now. The thought put a little swagger in my step. And why not? I felt amazing. Like a big ashamed-of-my-virginity shaped weight had been magically lifted from my shoulders. I wanted to shout it from every rooftop in New York.
Oh my god! Rosa!
Ian was still snoring away—I was so glad I didn’t snore, that would be mortifying—and snuck downstairs to get my phone. Walking around his bedroom naked was one thing, but walking around his apartment naked? I felt super exposed in the wide-open space, in front of all those damn windows. I ran on the balls of my feet to the sofa, where that soft white knitted throw was, and snatched it up.
A pair of jeans slid off the back of the couch.
“Are these the same…” I frowned, trying to wrap the throw around myself and get a better look at the pants. They were. They were the same jeans, he’d just re-hidden them.
Wow. Ian’s life was a mess.
I slipped my feet into the pants and pulled them up. They were way too big for me. I cinched the belt to the tightest hole and rolled up the legs, then pulled the throw around me like a poncho and shuffled off to get my purse.
My phone’s battery was almost dead, so when Rosa answered, I greeted her with, “I had sex last night!”
“I’m at the post office,” she said, her voice a forced normal.
“Don’t care. Put me on speakerphone, if you want. I will not care.” I flicked my gaze upward and tiptoed away from the open section of ceiling. I would be fine with the post office hearing my squee, but Ian would tease me mercilessly.
“So, the parent test worked?” she asked.
I nodded, even though she wouldn’t be able to see me. “He flipped out. He called them monsters.”
“He did not!”
“He did! He basically called them the worst parents in the world, which, you know, they are. Oh, and by the way, that whole family curse thing? Was a total lie—”
“I knew that.”
“And,” I said, ignoring her, “we got fortune cookies, and mine said—”
/> “Skip to the dirty part. I’m almost at the front of the line,” she ordered.
I took a deep breath. “We came back here, and I was like, ‘I want tonight to be the night,’ and he took me upstairs and basically had me accessing the Akashic records, I came so hard.”
“Good job, Ian.” I heard the smile in Rosa’s voice. “Are you back home now? I want details.”
“No, I’m at his place. He’s still asleep, actually.”
“Well, have a good time,” she sing-songed.
“Oh please, we’re not doing it again right now. I’m way too sore.” But not too sore for more oral action. I might actually suggest that when he woke up. I could even go down on him. I could wake him up that way. And maybe I wasn’t actually too—
“You’re going to do it again,” Rosa said flatly. “Welcome to the point of the relationship where all you do is fuck.” Something muffled the mic on her phone, and I heard Rosa snap, “Then maybe you shouldn’t listen to other people’s conversations!” She came back on. “I have to go, I’m next in line. Do not think we’re not celebrating. You only lose your virginity once.”
“Thank god, because it was nerve wracking.” The next time, I would squash my nerves and be a total pro. “Okay, go do the postal thing. I love you.”
“I love you, too.” She paused. “And I’m really glad you’re happy.”
I smiled to myself and hung up, then looked to the stairs. I could have gotten into Ian’s fridge and started making some breakfast—he actually had the supplies to do it, this time—but the thought of getting back into his bed and curling up next to him was so much better. But when I got upstairs, he was already awake, his head resting on one arm stretched out on his pillow. He squinted at me as I stepped inside. “Are those my jeans?”
“Yeah, I found them.” I tossed the throw across the end of the bed, standing in front of him topless. I held out my arms. “The Mickey Mouse look isn’t as sexy as the Donald Duck look, huh?”
“Oh, no, I think it’s sexier,” he said, his eyes wide, as though the answer were bewilderingly obvious. “Your tits are out.”
First Time: Penny's Story (First Time (Penny) Book 1) Page 20