His warm touch shot up her arm, burning through any defenses she scrambled to erect. She couldn’t take another rejection. Not today. “I’m fine,” she managed to say through parched lips, her throat so dry the words squeaked out.
He moved in front of her and squatted. “No, you aren’t. You were in a wreck, too. I imagine your body is starting to feel the effects of it.”
“Don’t do this. Don’t make…” Her throat closed completely around any other words she tried to say.
“I think we need to talk.”
“No, not now. I have enough to handle without you letting me know I put our child in danger. He’s there because of me. I—”
Zachary drew her up and pulled her into his embrace. “You aren’t at fault. Don’t do that to yourself.”
She resisted the lure of his arms, jerking back. “If I hadn’t left when I did or gone a little faster or slower, Nicholas wouldn’t have been hurt.”
“What-ifs don’t change the situation and only make you upset. Freak accidents happen to people.”
Her jammed tears swelled into her eyes. She blinked, releasing them. “I know. I can’t control everything like I’ve wanted. That point has been hammered home to me today painfully. But why couldn’t I have been the one in that bed? Not my son.”
“Our son.” He brushed his thumbs over her cheeks, erasing the tears only to have them replaced immediately. Framing her face, he inched closer. “We are in this together.”
Not really and that was the problem. She wanted all of Zachary. She wanted the complete family. He didn’t. She’d messed it all up. Straightening, she attempted a smile that fell flat. “I appreciate your concern. I’ll be okay, especially when I can get Nicholas home.”
He tugged her toward the couch, gently pushed her down then sat beside her. “We still need to talk. Earlier today I didn’t mean what I said about getting a lawyer.”
Tension, even more than before, whipped down her length. “Maybe for the time being, but will you use that threat later when we clash about Nicholas?”
“I know we can work something out. You want what’s best for Nicholas, and so do I.”
He hadn’t answered her question, which clinched her stomach into a snarl of emotions. She curled her hands at her sides. She loved him. And couldn’t have him.
He slid his arm along the back of the couch, loosely cocooning her against him. “I’m not doing a very good job of explaining myself.”
“Oh, I think I know where you stand.”
He leaned closer, putting his thumb under her chin and turning her head so she looked straight at him. “Do you? Because until recently I didn’t realize what I was doing. How harmful my attitude was.”
“What do you mean?”
“I let my anger purposely make you mad. You fled. If I hadn’t said that to you, we might have been able to work everything out earlier today, and Nicholas wouldn’t be lying there.”
“Didn’t you just tell me we can’t play what-ifs?”
“Yes, but see how I can twist it around to be my fault? It really was no one’s.” He stared at his son for a long moment. “When you came back to Tallgrass and told me I was a father, I was furious at you. At first, all I could see was the ten years you’d stolen from me.”
She opened her mouth to apologize again, but he placed his finger over her lips.
A lopsided tilt to his mouth filled her vision. “I know you’re sorry for what happened, but I was being stubborn and not listening to what you really said. I was letting what happened with my fiancée affect us. You aren’t Audrey. When I turn the situation around and look at it differently, I’m so grateful to you for giving me a son even if it was ten years late. You didn’t have to tell me. Then I would never know the joy of being a father. You’ve given me that joy and for that I thank you.”
“You forgive me?”
“More than that. I love you, Jordan. I’ve never really stopped. We were both young and said and did things we regret. I can’t keep living in the past. I want a future with you and Nicholas. I want a family. I could have lost you today. That can change a person’s perspective real fast.” He cupped her face. “Can you forgive me? Will you accept me in your life even though Nicholas will be the only child we have?”
His questions hovered suspended in the air between them for several heartbeats. For a second she wondered if she’d heard him correctly or was it her weary mind playing tricks on her.
“I know you have a right to be mad at me. I—”
Jordan placed her fingers over his mouth. “Shh.” Winding her arms around him, she drew him toward her and kissed him with all her heart.
“I want to do what we should have done years ago. Will you marry me as soon as possible? Make me happy? Make our son happy?”
She combed her fingers through his hair and slanted his head toward hers again. “Yes.” She planted a peck on one corner of his mouth. “Yes.” Another kiss on the other side. “And yes. You and Nicholas are my life.” Her lips covered his with the promise of more to come.
Epilogue
“It’s taken us a long time to get here, but we’ve finally gotten it right, Mrs. Rutgers.” Zachary locked his arms around Jordan.
“Say that again.” She cuddled closer.
“Mrs. Rutgers.”
“I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of hearing that name.”
He smiled. “That’s great since you’ll have it for say fifty or so years.” Leaning forward, he kissed her thoroughly.
Someone coughed behind Jordan. She blushed and turned within her husband’s embrace.
“Save that for the honeymoon.” Granny winked. “Right now you two have guests to see to.”
Jordan scanned the reception hall at the church. All their friends were crammed into the large room. The new ones she’d met through Helping Hands Homeschooling group and the old ones she’d grown up with. But besides Nicholas and her family, the two she was happiest to see attending her and Zachary’s wedding was his parents.
“Oh, I see Doug is getting seconds. I’d better corral him before his cholesterol shoots up.” Granny shuffled off to the right.
“How long do you think it will be before Doug and Granny marry?” Zachary whispered against her ear.
“I hope soon. Her and Mom are fighting again.”
“Speaking of mothers, are you really okay with Mom taking Nicholas to Arizona for the week while we’re on our honeymoon?”
Jordan caught sight of her son, in a leg cast but mobile, talking with Zachary’s parents. “Totally. Your mother and I had a long talk last night. All we both want is what is best for you and Nicholas. We’re on the same page.”
A twinkle sparkled in his eyes. “Good. Can we sneak away now? I want to start the honeymoon.”
“Sounds like a perfect game plan.”
Dear Reader,
I had so much fun creating the story of Jordan and Zachary, high school sweethearts who parted and were forced to be together again because of their child. This is a book about forgiveness and trust, which are so important in a relationship. Both Jordan and Zachary had to deal with both of these issues.
Also in Heart of a Cowboy, Nicholas didn’t flourish in school although he was very smart. He stifled his intelligence because the other children made fun of him. This is a reason some parents homeschool their children. In each book in the series I want to try to show a different situation that leads to parents deciding to homeschool.
I love hearing from readers. You can contact me at [email protected] or at P.O. Box 2074 Tulsa, OK 74101. You can also learn more about my books at www.margaretdaley.com. I have a quarterly newsletter that you can sign up for on my Web site or you can enter my monthly drawings by signing my guest book.
Best wishes,
QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION
Zachary couldn’t forgive Jordan for not telling him about his son. His past ruled his life. Do you have something that has happened in your past that has done that to you? How can y
ou get past that?
Who was your favorite character? Why?
Why is it important to forgive others and ourselves? What happens when we live in the past rather than look forward to the future? Which do you focus on—past, present or future? Why?
Jordan was afraid of losing her son to the point she was overprotective. Have you ever done that? How did you handle it?
What was your favorite scene? Why?
Jordan knew she’d made a mistake concerning Zachary and Nicholas and regretted it. Have you ever made the kind of mistake you felt that you paid for more than most? How did you deal with it?
Jordan thought if she could control her life then she would be all right. She didn’t realize there are a lot of things we can’t control in our lives. What are some things that have happened to you lately that have been out of your control? How did you deal with them?
Nicholas was very smart and learned quickly, but he hated to write and avoided it as much as possible. Have you ever avoided something you couldn’t do well? What happened when you had to do it?
Zachary loved taking risks like bull riding in a rodeo. Do you take risks? Why or why not?
Although Zachary knew he should forgive Jordan, that God wanted him to, he couldn’t. Have you ever done something you knew you shouldn’t? How did the situation turn out by avoiding what you knew you should do?
Granny was Jordan’s mentor. Jordan turned to Granny for advice. Do you have a mentor? Who is it and why is that person your mentor?
Jordan kept a secret for more than ten years. Secrets often have a way of coming out. When she came back home, she had to face the secret she’d kept. When it came out, she had to face the consequences. Has that happened to you? What did you do?
Jordan’s mom was treating Granny as if she were a child rather than her mother. How do you treat your parents? Do health issues affect your interaction with your parents?
Nicholas wrote an essay about the disappearing cowboy—an ideal from our past. Do you agree with him? Why or why not?
Both Jordan and Zachary wondered what would have happened if Zachary’s mother had passed on the messages from Jordan. Do you ever wonder if something would have happened differently in your past, where you would be today? Is it good to wonder what ifs in our lives? Why or why not?
IMPRINT: Mills & Boon Love Inspired
ISBN: 9781488746925
TITLE: HEART OF A COWBOY
First Australian Publication 2014
Copyright © 2014 MARGARET DALEY
All rights reserved. Except for use in any review, the reproduction or utilisation of this work in whole or in part in any form by any electronic, mechanical or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including xerography, photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, is forbidden without the permission of the publisher, Harlequin Mills & Boon©, Locked Bag 7002, North Sydney D.C. N.S.W., Australia 2060.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
This edition published by arrangement with Harlequin Books S.A.
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*The Ladies of Sweetwater Lake
**Fostered by Love
†Helping Hands Homeschooling
Heart Of A Cowboy Page 19