Body on the Stage
Page 26
When the lights next came up Jack Matherson was walking across the stage in full police uniform. He shielded his eyes against the glare and peered into the audience. They hushed, wondering if this was an official announcement.
“Sorry to interrupt your entertainment,” he began, his deep voice solemn. There was a silence so complete that a siren was heard going past outside. “I have reason to believe…” his fingers strayed to the top button of his jacket, “that there have been some inappropriate activities going on here tonight.”
“No, nothing like that,” called out a voice.
“Certainly not!” yelled Jessica.
“Well in that case,” he undid his buttons slowly, “let’s see if we can liven things up!”
To the strains of ‘You Can Keep Your Hat On’, Jack peeled off his dark blue tunic, then ripped the sleeves off his pale blue shirt and sent them flying into the audience, all the time moving sensuously to the music. The rest of the shirt followed, to massive applause. Then he pretended to take a call on his radio. “Sorry folks, got to run. Crime never sleeps. Mind how you go!” He made a quick exit, laughing.
“That’s all I could get away with,” he said to Dennis. “Can’t be seen to bring the uniform into disrepute. Your turn, mate. Break a leg!”
Dennis walked out into the blackout and stood centre stage with his back to the audience.
The follow-spot lit up his white coated figure and a murmur ran through the crowd.
“Who’s that?”
“Can’t tell. Wait till they turn round.”
As the first notes of ‘Doctor Doctor, Give Me the News’ rang out, Dennis spun around and gave them his best smile. A stethoscope hung round his neck, and a syringe projected from the top pocket of his lab coat. He even had a laminated ID card with his name pinned to the coat.
He launched into the routine that Cathy had devised for him, putting everything he had into the moves. His new trim body was athletic and graceful, and her dance moves suited him perfectly. He jumped off the stage and ran over to Erica, checking her ample chest with his stethoscope. He pretended to jab the syringe into Clara-Jane’s bottom. Across on the other side, he allowed Gert to slip the coat off his shoulders, revealing pale green scrubs beneath. Back up on stage he kicked off his footwear and lost the top half of the scrubs, showing off his smooth tanned chest.
“Whoo-hoo!” cried a voice. “Look at the body on the stage!”
He stripped down to satin boxers printed with the stars from Grey’s Anatomy. The crowd was going wild. He beckoned to Cathy, calling her up on stage. She shook her head, laughing, but he insisted.
Once she was standing beside him, half cringing at the attention, he pulled a small box from a hidden pocket and went down on one knee in front of her. The audience screamed.
He could see that Cathy assumed it was all part of the act, until she looked at the ring, and saw the emotion in his eyes. Her own eyes widened in surprise and delight.
The crowd faded into oblivion. They were alone on stage together. Cathy took the ring, whispering her acceptance into his ear as he rose and kissed her tenderly.
To a barrage of whistling and stamping they held hands and took a bow, then ran off stage left to celebrate the beginning of their new lives together.
THE END
****
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people.
No reproduction without permission unless for review.
All characters in this publication are fictitious, with the exception of the late ‘Howard Daniels’. I promised at his funeral that I’d write him a heroic exit scene.
All criminal events and characters in the book are completely made up and I can say hand on heart that I have never encountered steroids in any gyms.
This edition designed by
www.thebookcoach.weebly.com
Cover model – Todor Ivanovich, North Shore Leisure
Acknowledgements
Thanks to my fellow scribes in the Mairangi Writers Group for laughing in all the right places in the fortnightly instalments. (Meet the group at www.arrestingprose.blogspot.co.nz .)
Thanks to Jenny Harrison for being a thorough and helpful beta reader, and to Shauna Bickley for editing and proofing to a fine polish. Sorry if I let any stray ‘thats’ get through!
Thanks to various staff members at North Shore Leisure for expert advice and encouragement, also Jacquie Dale for the nutrition advice at the end of the book.
Dedication
This one’s for my big-hearted brothers-in-law,
Dan & Lou. You’ll know why.
The Theatre Royal is safe now after her $6 million refit, but there are many theatres round the world in imminent danger of demolition if their communities fail to protect them. Next on my list to support is the glorious old St James Theatre in Auckland.
***
The 12 Week Transformation Challenge
You’ve probably seen ‘before and after’ photos of pudgy white people clutching newspapers to prove the date, paired with unrecognizable photos of the same people looking impossibly muscular, tanned and confident. I have to admit, I was deeply sceptical when my husband decided he was tired of his middle-age spread and that we should both tackle the Bill Phillips Body for Life Challenge.
We bought the book, invested in a set of weights, cleared the pantry of forbidden food, and embarked on the exercises. To my astonishment it actually worked!
The eating plan is simple to follow and can be tailored to your own preferences. You’re allowed one ‘free day’ a week to eat whatever you like, which is useful if you need to attend social events where food is a priority. We found that after three or four weeks we didn’t actually want pizza or ice-cream any more – our tastes had changed.
When his weight loss slowed with a month to go, my husband went to see Jacquie Dale, a nutritionist who tweaked his eating plan just enough for him to reach his target weight – and we’ve been using that plan ever since. I asked her to provide some weight-loss tips for readers who might be inspired by Dennis’s story to make their own personal transformation.
Jacquie Dale is the director of Real Nutrition, Takapuna, Auckland. www.realnutrition.co.nz
So what are my tips for successful fat loss?
Drink more water, keep a food diary and start weight training.
Researchers from the Virginia Tech College of Agriculture and Science conducted a 12-week study to demonstrate water’s ability to promote weight loss. Professor Brenda Davey found that dieters who drank two glasses of water before meals consumed up to 90 fewer calories during each meal and lost more weight than dieters who did not increase their water intake. Water will also keep your body systems, including metabolism and digestion, working properly and give you the energy necessary for exercise. Exercise helps increase blood flow to your cells. Your blood carries nutrients from your food around your body to nourish your vital organs. Exercise helps with immunity and keeps your detoxification systems functioning well. Another upside to exercise is that it builds muscle too, which helps us burn more fat. Remember, you don’t need to do ‘boot camp’ at the gym for successful weight loss. Light exercise can be great for killing the desire to eat.
Start a Food Diary
A good way to re-learn healthy eating is to keep a food diary for a week or two. Most of us are surprised when we look at what we really eat and drink, as opposed to what we think we eat. It is easy to forget about the extra helping we had for dinner, the large latte we had for morning tea or the wine we drank at dinner.
Keep tabs on your alcohol
When your goal is to lose weight, calories count and two big glasses of wine could add up to 400 extra calories. If your body doesn’t use these calories in the evening they will be converted to fat. Use smaller wine glasses and drink less often. Try to halve your normal intake. Sometimes just being aware of how much or how often you are drinking is enough to bring about a po
sitive change.
Get stronger
You cannot tone a muscle, you can only build it or strengthen it. If your body looks soft and saggy, it’s the fat on top that gives it that look. You may have lost muscle size in that area as well if there is not much firmness underneath. Doing high repetitions with light weights will only give you more muscle endurance - it won’t change your appearance. If you are currently doing 20 or more reps with light weights, start lifting heavier and aim for anywhere between 6 and 15 repetitions. Your body will only respond by you placing higher demands on it, so if you can easily lift a weight 15 times, put the weight up and aim to get stronger. Your body will start changing when you aim to get stronger.
It doesn’t matter if you only do it once or twice a week, just do it!
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If you have ideas for the next theatre story, do subscribe to my newsletter at this link http://eepurl.com/baLhIb and let me know. Sarah Taylor has suggested Little Shop of Horrors for the next show to use and I’m currently having fun tinkering with plot and characters. That big plant is going to be SO mean!