Selfish

by Shantel Tessier

  “Where are you going?” Becca asks as she comes into my bedroom.

  “I have lunch plans with your brother,” I growl.

  Her eyes widen. “That will be fun.”

  “I guess,” I say with a shrug. I’m trying to play it cool, but I’m honestly going crazy. I’m nervous to go to lunch with Ryder. Mainly because I’m not sure what all was said last night and why I agreed to this date in the first place. “Have you heard from Conner?” I ask, changing the subject.

  She giggles. “Yes. He texted me last night that it was over and that he can’t believe I let you do that to him.”

  I look at her, and my mouth drops. “He really thought that it was okay to tell you how much he still loved you and then go on a date with someone else?” I snort. “Of course, he did.”

  “Yes. I didn’t respond. Jaycent said I need to have my number changed.”

  “I’ve been meaning to ask you … What is going on with you and him?”

  “Nothing,” she says too fast. I give her the you’re lying look, and she blushes as she looks away. “I gotta get going. I’m going to go meet my mother.” She darts out of my room.

  “This isn’t over,” I say, referring to our discussion of her and Jaycent.

  I quickly run into my closet and pull off Ryder’s t-shirt that I wore home this morning and sweatpants. I had put them back on after I showered. I liked how they smelled like him.

  I’m jumping on one foot, placing a heel on when I look at the clock on my nightstand, coming out of my closet now dressed. I cuss myself. It’s almost a quarter till noon.

  I run into my bathroom to reapply my lip-gloss and get one last look at myself. It’s been raining most of the day, so I chose to wear my hair naturally curly. I just threw some mousse in it and put the diffuser on the hairdryer with some hairspray to make it stay. It’s curled up so much that it barely reaches the top of my boobs.

  I chose to do my makeup light with powder, blush, and lip-gloss. Even though it’s raining here in New York at the end of May, it’s still warm and muggy, so I chose to wear a pair of blue denim shorts and a plain black t-shirt with black heels. Simple and comfortable.

  I reapply one more coat of lip-gloss, grab my purse, and head out the door. “Hello, Milton,” I say as I exit the building.

  He meets me at the stairs with a black umbrella and walks me to the back door of the Escalade. “Good afternoon, Ashlyn,” he says cheerfully, opening the back door for me.

  “Thank you,” I say as I hop in.

  He shuts the door and makes his way around the SUV to jump in behind the driver seat. I look out the window with a smile. “Good day, miss?” he asks, looking at me through the rearview mirror.

  “Yes,” I say although I still don’t feel a hundred percent myself. My body is sore, and my head still pounds but not as bad as earlier. I should be back to myself after I get some food in me. “I love when it rains,” I add. Thank God, it did. If it was a sunny day, the sun would be blinding and too much for my hangover. Even now, I still wear a pair of black sunglasses.

  His brows lift as he looks at me in the rearview mirror. “Did it rain a lot where you lived before?”

  I laugh. “Oh, yes. I lived in Seattle.”

  He chuckles. “I would say so.”

  I look around at all the tall buildings and yellow cabs. People walking with umbrellas, some running without them. “Where are we heading?” I ask.

  “Well, Mr. O’Kane called me and said there was a change of plans. I am taking you to his office.”

  I frown but shrug. I can’t remember the original plan. Ten minutes later, we pull up to his building, and Milton helps me out. “Whenever you are ready, just tell his assistant to call me, and I will be here to pick you up.”

  “That’s okay, Milton. I can take a cab.” Even if they do scare me.

  “I’m a driver, ma’am. That’s my job. I will be here to take you home.” Then he turns around and gets back into the SUV.

  I let out a long sigh as I step into the building. People fill the lobby and elevators ding as people get off and on, going to and from lunch. Women are dressed in business suits and dresses. Men in expensive suits and ties. I feel so underdressed.

  I straighten my shoulders and walk over to the elevator. I climb in with five men and press the button for Ryder’s floor. The men talk about stocks as the elevator stops on a few floors here and there.

  The doors slide open for Ryder’s floor, and I step off and through the doors of O’Kane Enterprises. I look around the quiet office and wonder where everyone is, and then realize it is lunchtime. I open my purse to pull my phone out to text Ryder that I’m here when I hear him.

  “Hello, gorgeous.”

  I drop my phone and look up and see him standing a few feet in front on me with a smile on his face and his hands in the pockets of his black slacks. “Hey,” I say lamely. Because saying hello, gorgeous man sounds stupid.

  He pulls his hands out of his pockets and walks towards me. I swallow nervously as I feel my heart rate start to pick up while his eyes look me up and down. As if I take his breath away, he reaches up and loosens his tie. My body heats up as his green eyes linger on my exposed legs. They glisten from the cold rain, and my body breaks out in goose bumps. He affects me in ways that I can’t explain. “Where is everyone?” I ask, looking around trying to avoid his gaze.

  “Gone,” he says simply.

  I look back at him, and he’s standing right in front of me. “Thought we were going to eat,” I say slowly. Are we not leaving?

  “Oh, I’m going to eat,” he says as he lowers his eyes to my lips. I lick them, and his darken with need. I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from moaning.

  “Ryder. I don’t think this is appropriate.” I find the words to say although all I can think of is his head between my legs. My pussy tightens.

  His eyes come back to mine, and he smirks. “Come on.” He takes my hand and leads me over to what I’m guessing is his office. “Now, I know we had plans for a picnic, but since it rained, I made the best of it.” He pushes open the door, and I gasp at what I see. “I know it’s not Central Park, but it’s the best I could do with such little time.”

  I turn to face him, mouth still open in awe. “Picnic …?” As soon as I ask the question, it comes back to me.

  I lie in his arms satisfied and exhausted. My eyes as heavy as my body. I yawn. “Eat lunch with me tomorrow,” he says, grabbing my hand and bringing it to his lips. He softly kisses it.

  I look at him as he props himself up on his left elbow and drops my hand. He places his hand on my face, and I sigh at the warmth I feel from it. “Okay,” I whisper.

  “Question.”

  “Anything.” Just keep touching me.

  “Expensive restaurant or picnic?”

  I smile. “No one’s ever asked me that before.”

  He smiles. “I wanna know things about you that others don’t.”

  I lie naked in bed with this gorgeous man, and he is asking me questions, trying to get to know the real me, and I’ve been trying to fight it. It’s not like I have anything to hide. I was just trying to keep him from getting close, but right now, I feel like I’m failing, which is crazy. I don’t even know this man. I open my eyes to answer, but they’re so heavy they close.

  He shoves the covers off my body, and a shiver runs through me. “What’s wrong?”

  “I’m cold,” I mumble, licking my lips and eyes still closed.

  He leans down and places his lips gently on mine. I whimper in protest when he’s done and pulls away. “I’m horny,” he states, running his hand along the inside of my right thigh.

  “Ryder …”

  “Shh,” he says as his hand slides up and cups my pussy. I moan. “Just lie back and enjoy it.”

  His pushes a finger into my pussy, and I arch my back as I start to pant.

  “What do you want, darling?”

  I open my heavy eyes and look up at him. “You. I need you to �
�� fuck me.” I don’t even realize what I’m saying until after I say it. I just know that I need him inside me again.

  He smiles and adds another finger. Air gets caught in my throat as he fucks me roughly with his fingers. I reach up and run my hands through my hair as my hips buck.

  He removes his fingers, and I groan in protest. He gets up and straddles my hips and grabs my hands, pinning them in one of his hands above my head. I thrash back and forth to free myself. “Ryder. Please,” I beg as my body shakes with need.

  His other hand grabs my chin roughly and forces me to look up at him as he hovers over me. “What would you let me do to you?” he asks. “Hmm, darling? How would you let me fuck you?”

  His fingers dig into my chin but not enough to hurt; just enough so I can’t escape him. He licks his lips as his green eyes run over my parted lips. When they land on mine, they are on fire. “However you want,” I say breathlessly.

  His lips turn up as his eyes roam my face. They look above my head, and I imagine he’s looking at his hand holding both of mine down. I fight against them, and his smile widens. “I was hoping you’d say that.” His eyes are back on mine, and he lowers down to my face. His lips inches from mine. “I wanna tie you to my bed, baby.” I suck in a ragged breath. “I think you want that, too. I want to sit back and watch you struggle, naked and bound for my pleasure.” I’m panting, and my pussy is throbbing.

  “I’d beg you,” I say breathlessly. “I’d beg you until you gave in.” He is just like me, can’t hold out for too long.

  He smiles. “Then I’ll gag you.”

  I tighten my legs and moan. “Yeah.” He smiles, and his eyes light up with mischief. “First, I’ll undress you then tie you to my bed spread-eagle; all for me to see. Then I’ll gag and blindfold you.” I arch my back and take a deep breath. “And I’ll just sit back and watch you struggle and get wetter and wetter.”

  “Please, Ryder,” I beg as I lift my hips.

  “Is that what you want, darling? To be completely at my mercy?”

  “Yes,” I say without thought. Because I know that he won’t fail in pleasing me. And the thought of that makes me squirm. “Such a good girl.” He lets go of my chin and then his legs are spreading mine wide. I wait for his other hand to release my hands, but they don’t. I jump when his now free hand is back between my legs. I cry out when he thrusts his finger into me roughly. The second enters, and my body shakes. He returns to fucking me roughly with a force that has my breath catching in my throat and me unable to form words. I close my eyes and enjoy this gorgeous man taking me to a place that I never wanna come back from.

  I come on his fingers, and I whimper as he removes them slowly. “Taste yourself, sweetheart,” he urges as he runs his wet fingers along my lips. My lips are already open due to my panting, and my tongue darts out to lick them. He slides them in, and a deep, throaty moan escapes him.

  He releases my wrists, but I’m too tired to move, so I leave them above my head. He pulls his two fingers out of my mouth with a pop and then lowers his lips to mine and kisses me. A deep kiss that has him taking my breath away.

  When he pulls away, I don’t open my eyes. I know I should push him onto the bed and return the favor, but I can’t. He falls down beside me and wraps his arms around me, bringing my body to his. My heart beats wild in my chest, and I’m still sucking in air as my body shakes. He holds me tightly, placing his legs over mine as we lie face to face on our sides.

  I gently feel his lips on my forehead in a sweet kiss. “You didn’t answer my question.”

  “Hmm?”

  “Picnic or fancy restaurant?”

  I lick my lips and smile. “Picnic,” I whisper then everything goes black.

  I turn back around and look at the red and white checkered blanket spread out on the middle of his office floor. A wicker picnic basket sits open on the right corner of the blanket. Two glasses sit on the floor next to a bucket of chilled wine.

  “You did this for me?” I turn around to ask him.

  He smiles softly and looks away from me as if embarrassed. I walk up to him, place my hands on his face, and lean up, kissing him. “This is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me,” I say. “Thank you.”

  He reaches up and brushes some blond hair from my face. “You’re welcome, beautiful.”

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  RYDER

  Mesmerized, I sit in the middle of the red and white checkered blanket watching Ashlyn eat strawberries. I can’t get over how she looks with her hair curly. I love it, but I can’t run my hands through it. I tried, and it pulled on it. I had every intention to show her Central Park and give her the picnic of her dreams, but honestly, this turned out better than I could have planned.

  The rain is hitting my office windows that overlook Manhattan, and all is quiet since everyone is gone for lunch. I had my assistant running around town all morning, helping me get everything that I needed to make this happen.

  Last night, she had said she loved the city, and I knew I had to use the city to my advantage. I thought what better place than Central Park. The rain had other plans.

  I go over to the mini-fridge I keep in my office and pull the food out of it. “I wasn’t sure what you liked, so I got you a variety,” I tell her as I set three hot dogs wrapped in tinfoil down.

  She unwraps them and looks up at with a smile. “Hot dogs?”

  “Hey, you haven’t lived until you try a New York hot dog.”

  “Three?”

  I shrug. “I got you one with mustard, one with ketchup, and one with relish. Like I said, I didn’t know which one you would like.”

  She laughs as she lifts the one with mustard on it and takes a bite. She mumbles her appraisal and nods her head quickly.

  I grab another to-go container and place it in front of her. I open it up, and her eyes widen. “Italian.”

  She swallows her bite and asks, “What is that?”

  “It’s pappardelle alla fiesolana,” I tell her. She grabs a plastic fork from the picnic basket and takes a bite.

  “Oh, God,” she moans before taking another bite.

  I grab another to-go box out of the fridge, and her blue eyes widen. “I like to eat, Ryder, but how much stuff did you get?”

  I smile shyly as she looks up at me. “I wanted to make sure I got you something that you liked,” I say softly. She makes me nervous. I’ve never been that way with a woman before. I’m not the kind of guy who has to impress the girl. I’m Ryder O’Kane. Women know who I am, and they want me, usually because of my name alone, but she’s different. I wanna show her that I care and that I listen when she speaks. I wanted this date to be perfect.

  She smiles up at me, and all nervousness disappears. “I’m not a picky eater.”

  “Good.” I go back over to the fridge. I pull out the last two to-go boxes. I set them in front of her and open them up. “Cheesecake and chocolate-covered strawberries,” I tell her, and she licks her lips. I think it’s a success.

  ***

  An hour later, the door opens, and I look up and see my father’s assistant standing there staring wide-eyed down at the empty to-go boxes. “Need something?” I ask.

  She looks up at me and swallows as her eyes narrow. “Your father wants to see you.” Is lunch over already?

  “Tell him I’ll be a minute.”

  She looks over at Ashlyn. She squares her shoulders and opens her mouth. “You may leave,” I add before she can open her mouth and ruin our lunch.

  She looks back at me and lets out a huff before spinning around and slamming my door shut, mumbling, “Bitch.”

  I look over at Ashlyn, and she raises a dark brow in question. “Was that toward you or toward me?”

  I sigh. “Probably both of us.”

  She reaches down, picking up a chocolate-covered strawberry, and takes a bite out of it. Those seem to be her favorite. “So you sleep with co-workers?” she asks after she swallows her bite.

  “Uh”—I run m
y hand through my hair nervously—“it happened once.”

  She doesn’t look mad at me, just curious. “You dated her?”

  I shake my head. “I haven’t been on an actual date in over a year,” I say honestly. “Until today.” And I had to trick her into it. Her getting drunk was my gain.

  Her brows rise in surprise. “This isn’t a date,” she states.

  “It is.”

  She looks down at the last chocolate-covered strawberry and picks it up. “Then, as your date, I’m going to eat the last one.” She takes a bite out of it, and I smile.

  “It’s all yours.”

  ***

  Fifteen minutes later, I walk into my father’s office and plop down on his couch. “So you’re sleeping with my assistant,” he states, not looking up from his paperwork on his desk.

  Fuck, she has a big mouth. “She told you?”

  “No.” He looks up at me. “But she came in here running your name through the mud like a woman scorned. It wasn’t hard to figure out.” He leans back in his chair and crosses his arms over his chest.

  “Once,” I admit.

  “Goddammit, Ryder,” he snaps, standing.

  “It’s not happening again,” I state.

  “Damn right it’s not gonna happen again!” he growls. He presses the intercom on the phone. “Get in here,” he orders, and my back stiffens.

  “Yes, Mr. O’Kane?” Jessica asks, entering the room immediately. Her nose is up in the air and her body stiff.

  “You’re fired,” he says, his voice sharp.

  Her mouth falls open, and she looks at me. “But … uh …” Her stiff posture falls in fear.

  “Don’t look at Ryder. Look at me,” my father demands.

  Her eyes go to him, and I see the tears start to well up in them. “Sir …?”

  “You signed an NDA, did you not?” my father asks. She nods once. “And in that NDA, it says no fraternizing with co-workers.” She swallows and nods once again. “That includes my son. Therefore, you’re fired.”