Selfish

by Shantel Tessier

  “I don’t have to explain myself to you,” he says, running his hand through his spiked hair. I can’t tell if he’s agitated or embarrassed.

  “What …?” Her mouth falls open at his words as if she’s never been spoken to that way. “Why are you talking to me like this?” She looks at me. “Who is she? Why are you here with her when you invited me?”

  I look at him and his jaw clenches. Did he invite her? She has a valid point. Why did he invite both of us? “I should go,” I say, my throat tightening as hurt and jealousy knots in my stomach.

  I go to walk past them, but Ryder reaches out and grabs my arm. “You’re not going anywhere,” he growls as his eyes land on mine, and I swallow nervously at the hard look on his face.

  When he realizes I’m not going to make a run for it, he lets go of me and places his attention back on her. “I didn’t invite you,” he says through gritted teeth. Her bottom lip starts to quiver. “My mother invited you, Vicki. I didn’t.” He reaches out and grabs my hand; she looks down and watches with sad eyes.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  RYDER

  I think Vicki is about to storm out, but she lifts her chin. “You’re choosing her over me?”

  I feel Ashlyn’s hand tighten in mine. I try and roll my tense shoulders. “Vicki …”

  She snorts. “Where did you find her anyway? She doesn’t belong here.” Her voice has changed to anger.

  “Excuse me?” Ashlyn snaps.

  Vicki crosses her arms over her chest and looks her up and down with disgust like she did on the deck earlier. “She is not even close to your league.”

  Ashlyn takes a step toward her. I pull her back. “Ashlyn.” I saw her fight Conner; she’ll kick Vicki’s ass, and no matter how much I can’t stand her, I don’t want the wrath of Debra, Vicki’s mother, on her.

  Vicki’s face transforms from disgust to a look of pure satisfaction. “I thought I knew that name. You’re Becca’s friend who moved here from Seattle.” She throws her head back laughing, and it makes her fake boobs bounce. “Ryder’s mother told me all about you.” I stiffen. I forget that my mother has already met her. “She told me that you were below her daughter. How you pulled her down. Now, you’re doing the same thing to Ryder.”

  Ashlyn steps forward. “Did she tell you how I’m going to kick your fucking ass?”

  Vicki gasps at her choice of words. I refrain from smiling. “Are you going to allow her to speak to me with such a tone, Ryder?” She looks at me, her light brown eyes wide in disbelief. When I don’t answer, she continues. “What are you doing with this white trash, Ryder?”

  “That’s it!” Ashlyn yanks her hand out of my hold and runs toward her. Vicki lifts her left leg and screams out as if Ashlyn is about to knock her ass down. And that’s exactly what she plans on doing.

  I wrap my arm around her waist from behind her and pick her up off the floor as her legs kick out. I spin her around planting her feet back on the floor; her beautiful blue eyes are narrowed with anger, and her lips parted as she breathes heavily.

  I turn back around and face Vicki. I walk over to her, grab her arm, and escort her out of the room. “Ryder …” She cries out my name. “Ryder, you’re hurting me.” She tries to yank her arm free, but I don’t allow it. I take her out onto the deck and then to the bridge.

  “Turn the boat around,” I instruct the captain.

  He looks at me confused, and I release Vicki. She rubs her arm, and she stomps her foot. “Sir?”

  “Turn the fucking boat around.” Vicki is getting off my boat. Either by herself or with my help. I won’t have someone disrespecting Ashlyn. Especially someone like Vicki.

  “Ryder, please don’t,” she says as she starts to cry.

  I turn to face her. “Whatever you think this was, it wasn’t. And it’s never going to be. Now, until you can learn some manners, get off my fucking boat.”

  I storm out of the bridge and onto the deck. Someone grabs my upper arm, and I spin around. Vicki stands there, tears running down her face. “Please, Ryder. You’re supposed to be with me.”

  I lower my face to hers. “I don’t want you, Vicki. What don’t you understand about that?”

  Her eyes narrow on me, and she lets out a huff. She actually stomps her foot like a child pissed she didn’t get her way. “Wait until I tell your mother about this.”

  I laugh. “Go ahead and run your little fucking mouth.” She gasps as if she’s never heard that word before. “And see where it gets you.” I turn around and start to walk off. I notice people have gathered around to watch the exchange. I raise my hands. “We’re going back to port. If you wanna get off, get off,” I say.

  “I will not get off this boat.”

  I come to a stop and grind my teeth just as I see my sister and Jaycent come into view. I turn around and face the woman who I’ve been trying to escape all of my life. Our mothers have been planning our weddings since we were twelve. “Your ass is getting off this boat no matter what you think.”

  She lets out a scream as if I just struck her. Good lord, throwing her overboard would be easier.

  ASHLYN

  I pace back and forth down in Ryder’s bedroom. My arms crossed over my chest and my blood boiling in anger.

  How dare she say that to me! Her words stung because they were true. I don’t care when others judge me, but she’s right to an extent. I don’t come from his world. The rich part. But I don’t need money in order to be happy. I wasn’t raised that way.

  I swing around when I hear the door open. Becca comes running in. “Are you okay?” she asks, looking me over quickly. Her green eyes wide and her mouth open in surprise.

  “Why would you ask me that?” I ask, trying to loosen my shoulders. I hate that her mother says I’m pulling her down. I’ve done nothing but be there for her. Becca is my best friend. I would never want to hurt her in any way.

  She sighs. “Ry just ordered the captain to turn the boat around. He and Vicki are up there yelling at each other this very second in front of everyone.”

  “Shit!” I hiss. “I don’t want him to ruin his birthday party,” I say more to myself than her. “I need to stop him.” I’m not this woman. I don’t allow myself to get attached to a man and be the girl who starts drama. No matter how much I feel for him, this is going too far.

  “He’s already made up his mind, Ashlyn,” she tells me softly. “When Ry makes up his mind, there’s no changing it.”

  I sigh as I look at her. Her eyes have softened as if she’s pitying me. I swallow. “I’m sorry, Becca.”

  She frowns. “For what …?”

  The bedroom door opening cuts off whatever she was about to say. Ryder enters just as he had exited. Jaw tight and eyes narrowed. “Becca, can you leave us.” He makes it sound like she has an option, but we both know she doesn’t.

  She walks over to me, gives me a hug, and then walks out, leaving us alone.

  We stand silently, and I run a hand through my hair, not caring that Genice spent over an hour fixing it at the salon today. “Ryder, I’m so sorry.”

  He raises his hand to me. “Don’t,” he growls. “Don’t fucking apologize for that fucking bitch!”

  “She was right.”

  “How can you fucking say that?” he demands as his nostrils flare.

  I place my hands out to my side. “We’ve been kidding ourselves, Ryder.” I feel like I just stabbed myself. “This isn’t going anywhere.” The sound of my own words tighten my chest and makes it hard to take a breath. “I don’t …” I lick my lips. “I don’t belong here, and you know that.” My voice is barely audible; I’m breathing so fast.

  “Stop,” he demands.

  I can’t; it will be better this way. “Even your mother …”

  “I don’t give a shit about what my mother thinks,” he snaps.

  “But I …”

  He steps up to me, and his towering frame and fire burning eyes have me shutting up. “Take off your dress.” His voice is deepe
r than usual, and I can feel the heat as his anger simmers.

  “Ryder,” I say softly. He needs to see reason.

  “Take off your dress,” he demands.

  “You kicked her off the boat,” I say, trying to understand what he is thinking. “People are going to think …”

  “I just told you that I don’t care what people think,” he says tightly.

  “I don’t either, but I don’t want to be the woman who causes trouble for you.” How am I gonna have the strength to walk away if he won’t allow me to go? My feelings for him make me weak. And as much as I am falling for him, I don’t wanna be that woman.

  He steps up to me, his chest is pressed into mine, and I can feel his heart pounding, matching mine. He lifts his right hand and slips it into my hair. “This conversation is over.” His voice still has an edge to it and eyes still hard.

  I go to open my mouth, but he lifts his left hand and places a finger over my lips. “Don’t do it, sweetheart.” His voice holds warning, and I swallow.

  His finger drops off my lips, his hand tightens in my hair, pulling my head back. His fingers trail down over my neck and chest before hooking into the top of my black dress. His fingernail runs along the top of my breast. “One last time.” I swallow, which is hard at the angle he’s holding my head back. “Take. Off. Your. Dress.” Each word is a growl.

  He releases me, and I step back from him, breathing heavy. I look at the door. When this yacht pulls back to the docks, I should get off. I should go home and let him mingle with his friends.

  I look back at him, and his eyes drill holes into mine. It’s as if he can see what I’m thinking. Without another word, he reaches down and undoes his black belt. My pussy instantly tightens. He very slowly pulls it free of the material and wraps it around his knuckles. My eyes watch it with need.

  “That’s right, sweetheart. This is for you.” He unclenches his fist and the belt slowly unwinds from around his hand. My breath catches in my throat as it hangs from his hand.

  I take another step back from him, wanting to make him think I’m second-guessing my intentions. But I’m not. If I wanted to leave, I would have.

  I swallow and reach down to the hem of my black dress. He stands there as I lift it up and over my head. I toss it over to the other side of the room and take a deep breath. His eyes never leave mine. “Undo my pants,” he orders.

  I take the ten steps, closing the space between us, and look down as I undo his button and zipper. They fall to his ankles, and he kicks off his shoes before stepping out of his white slacks.

  “My shirt.” His voice is rougher. Like he is trying very hard not to shove me against the wall and fuck me to teach me a lesson. Please, do. It’s the only way I’ll learn.

  Instead, I keep my mouth shut and do as he says. I undo the first button and then the second. His smooth and hard chest rises and falls as he takes deep breaths. His hands fist down by his sides, and although I don’t look him in the eyes, I can feel his gaze burning a hole into me.

  He tosses the belt onto the bed and places his hand on my shoulder. He turns me around slowly, and his hand burns my skin so much that I whimper. He says nothing, just unclasps my bra. “Lie on the bed,” he whispers into my ear, and a shiver runs through me.

  I move very slowly but make my way over to the king-size bed covered in gold and silver throw pillows. I crawl onto the thick gold comforter and lie on my back with my head at the headboard. “No,” he says, and I stop. He gestures to the end of the bed. “On your stomach,” he instructs.

  I crawl to the end of the bed and place my head where my feet would normally be. I’m breathing heavy, and my heart is pounding. He walks to the foot of the bed dressed only in his boxers. His hands grip my shoulders, and he yanks me forward, my head now hanging off the bed looking down at his bare feet. “Stay like that.”

  I close my eyes and bite my lip to keep myself from talking. To keep from telling him that I’m sorry. Is he mad at me? He said he wasn’t, but he has to be. I’m the reason he’s kicking Vicki off the boat. She acted all high and mighty, and I acted like … trash. I threatened to beat her ass. I was going to beat her ass. I had to have embarrassed him.

  “Stop!” he says like he can read my mind. I close my eyes tighter.

  The bed dips as he climbs on beside me. He grabs both of my arms and crosses them at the wrists behind my back. I whimper when I feel the cool leather wrap around them tightly. The buckle lying between my thighs. He gets off the bed, and I lift my heavy head to watch him. He walks over to a smaller door and steps inside it. I realize that must be the closet. I strain my neck to look around, but all I see are our clothes on the floor. I have a moment of panic, wondering if he locked the door to this room. I really don’t want someone walking in on us.

  He comes back in, and this time, he has rope in his hands. Without a word, he takes my left ankle and pulls it towards him as he winds the rope, making a loop, and places my foot through it. He then bends down and ties it to the bed somehow. He does the same thing to the other. My legs are held wide open, my hands behind my back, and I’m panting. Every time I struggle, the rope tightens around my skin, biting into it. I like it.

  He comes to a stop in front of me. He bends down getting eye level with me. I search his eyes as his right hand holds my face up by my chin. The left pushes my blond hair back. I’m sweating and shaking.

  He doesn’t say anything just strokes my face. And my heart beats wildly. After a few seconds, he let’s go of my chin, and I’m straining to hold my head up. Seconds later, he’s wrapping something soft and black around my eyes, taking away my sight.

  I squirm helplessly, and I pant now in darkness. “Ryder …” I whimper.

  “Have you ever been this helpless, Ashlyn?”

  I shake my head, and it makes me dizzy. My mouth falls open as I suck in a ragged breath. My pussy is soaked, and I try to clench my thighs, but I can’t because they’re pulled too far apart.

  “You look beautiful like this, sweetheart.” His hands fist in my hair, careful not to move whatever is covering my eyes. A shiver runs through my body. “I love the way your body shakes when I take my time with you.”

  I wanna focus on that word again—love—but my lust is taking over. I pull against the leather belt around my wrists. “Please …” I choke on the word, unable to form a full sentence.

  “Open your mouth,” he orders as his hands tighten in my hair making my scalp tingle. I do without thought. “Wider,” he growls, and I open it as wide as it will allow. Then I feel the head of his cock against my lips. I reach out further trying to pull it into my mouth, but my ankles don’t allow that either. I growl in frustration.

  “So hungry, my queen,” he says, and I can hear his smile of approval.

  I pant, my shoulders burning from my arms tied tightly behind my back. My chest feels tight from lying on it, and my neck hurts from him holding it up by my hair. But none of that matters. What matters is the throbbing between my legs. “I wanna see you,” I say desperately

  “No,” comes his simple answer. “Tonight, I decide what you see, what you hear, and what you feel.” I groan at his words. “I’m getting ready to fuck your pretty little mouth, sweetheart. And after I come and you swallow, I’m gonna gag you with your panties …” I gasp. “Then I’m gonna sit back and have a drink while I watch you squirm. I’ll touch you. Then I’m gonna hold you. I’m gonna kiss you all over until you realize that no one else fucking matters. Do you understand?”

  I swallow. “Yes.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  RYDER

  I lie on my bed in my boat as I sit propped up on my side. Ashlyn lies next to me. Asleep. The events of the night still fresh on my mind. I don’t regret what I said to Vicki. What I can’t let go of is the way Ashlyn looked at me after what Vicki had told her. She honestly believed her. She allowed herself to think for one second that she wasn’t good enough. All I’ve seen this woman have is confidence, and it only took a few sen
tences from Vicki for that confidence to shatter.

  I run my hand down the side of her face. It’s turned toward me, her eyes still closed, and her breathing even. The Vicki situation was annoying and uncalled for, but I was able to fix it. But there’s another issue that I can’t fix. Another issue that I can’t control. Bradley. When he had called her, I wanted to take her phone from her and throw it into the ocean. But I refrained from looking like a jealous guy. I’d never ask her who it was on the phone, but I knew it by the way she smiled when she looked down at her phone. I couldn’t hear what he was saying to her, but I could hear her end. She told him that New York is where she lives now. I know what he was thinking. I know he misses her. Hell, I missed her after our one weekend, and she’s been his for years now.

  He loves her.

  She won’t admit that because she truly believes they can have sex with no emotions. She’s crazy if she thinks a man can be with her and not fall for her.

  I reach up to run my knuckles down the side of her face again. Her soft skin is warm to my touch. My fingers continue down her jawline to her neck; pushing the covers away, I expose her naked chest to me. She breathes deeply with her head turned to face me. Her eyes are closed, and she looks absolutely beautiful.

  I run my fingers lightly over her soft, pink nipple. I give it a little pinch, and she shifts, letting out a long breath.

  I slide my hand across her chest and do the same to the other breast. This time when she shifts, her eyes flutter open. They lock on mine, and I smile down at her. “You’re so gorgeous,” I whisper.

  She smiles a soft smile as she closes her eyes. “If you’re gonna wake me up, you’d better make it worth it.” Her voice is a whisper.

  I chuckle. “It’s still my birthday.” I look over at my phone and see it’s a quarter till midnight, and I have ten missed calls from my mother. No doubt to ask what the hell happened. I turn it off completely. “I have fifteen more minutes.”